Blogs


Notices

Class of August 2014 Part 18

Old 06-18-2015, 04:57 AM
  # 241 (permalink)  
Member
 
Choobie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
Blog Entries: 4
Great job, Pink! Calming down is the hardest for me, too, and used to result in binges. Figuring out what works is so worth it!

Also work issues. Never worked for someone like this, but I will make it through without getting sucked in.

London, glad you made it back home safe.

I got a REALLY short haircut last night. Liberating!

Have a great day!
Choobie is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Choobie For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-18-2015), determined99 (06-18-2015), Grateful11 (06-18-2015), ScooterBoo (06-19-2015), sthlondonab (06-18-2015)
Old 06-18-2015, 12:31 PM
  # 242 (permalink)  
Member
 
pinklinzangel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Choobie, a haircut is like therapy, I find it cleanses me! Lovely stuff! Hope work gets better for you, if work is horrid, it sucks. Thinking of you. Thank you for your support.

Determind, hope work gets better for you too my friend. We spend too much time at work in comparison to at home, so Work needs to be ok at the very least! Thank you for your support x

London, you hit the nail, on the head. This time last year, that drive home would have involved picking up 3 bottles of wine and taking the next day off work. That was my stress relief. Now I need to find a new stress relief, I didn't realise I hadn't found one until last night. I wasn't prepared. I'm making a list of things to do if it happens again so that I have a contingency plan to pull out of my pocket! Thank you for your support!

Today was also a bad day, but perhaps a 6 whilst yesterday was a 9 on the stressometer. Tomorrow I'm concerned could hit 9 or 10 as I know what lies in store! At least I can be prepared, which stands me in better stead than yesterday.

After work tomorrow I am going for a long swim to get work out of my system. I've bought a waterproof mp3 player so I can listen to music. I think I will listen to madness.

Hope you are all well my lovelies xx
pinklinzangel is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to pinklinzangel For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-18-2015), determined99 (06-18-2015), Grateful11 (06-18-2015), ScooterBoo (06-19-2015), sthlondonab (06-18-2015)
Old 06-18-2015, 01:09 PM
  # 243 (permalink)  
Member
 
sthlondonab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,696
Hey all

Had a good first day back at work. I was thinking "hmm what will I walk into" but all is good. I feel reasonably refreshed and ready to bust some targets!

Pink, here is some ideas of what I do if work was a shocker (or stress day in general)

- work phone and laptop off at 7pm latest, no checking Blackberry
- cooking and following a recipie to take my mind off everything
- squeeze limes and lemons to make my own water (by hand, cracking stress reliever)
- watch UK Gold or something similar and laugh at old slapstick comedy like Allo Allo
- watch a feel good film like Jerry McGuire
- Listen to my language tapes
- read and research my next trip
- bake cookies and eat as many as I like
- do some exercise - I have never ever felt worse rather than better after even a small workout
- review my goals list and add new ones
- read read read on SR

Also to make you laugh I have a new phone and my predictive text insists you are called PUNK! So apologies if I call you that by accident. I had to concentrate so hard to write Pink above. There is a great website called 'damn you autocorrect' which always makes me giggle every time I read it. That's worth a look if you need a laugh out loud moment.
sthlondonab is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to sthlondonab For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-18-2015), determined99 (06-18-2015), Grateful11 (06-18-2015), ScooterBoo (06-19-2015)
Old 06-18-2015, 01:22 PM
  # 244 (permalink)  
Member
 
pinklinzangel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
London thank you so much, that's a fab list, I have some limes so will try that tomorrow. Will also get out my walking boots ready for a country hike if needed. Love the auto correct! I guess I am a bit punky so that's cool. 2 cases where auto correct screwed me big time.
1, I have a friend named Slavka, had a tough upbringing with all the changes in poland and relatives lost in tne Holocaust. auto correct called her slave. Did not go well!
2. After splitting up with my ex, we were having major text rows. His name was baz, and my auto correct changed in to nazi. I almost DIED! Again it did not ģo well! Gosh, I've just noticed both of these are on the same theme. This is not a reflection of ME!
pinklinzangel is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to pinklinzangel For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-18-2015), determined99 (06-18-2015), Grateful11 (06-19-2015), ScooterBoo (06-19-2015), sthlondonab (06-21-2015)
Old 06-18-2015, 04:21 PM
  # 245 (permalink)  
Member
 
rah555's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 623
Day 12!! Feeling good! Hope you are all doing well!!
rah555 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to rah555 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-18-2015), determined99 (06-18-2015), Grateful11 (06-18-2015), ScooterBoo (06-19-2015), sthlondonab (06-18-2015)
Old 06-18-2015, 04:32 PM
  # 246 (permalink)  
Almost 700 years sober
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,887
Blog Entries: 4
Congrats on day 12 Rah
Soberwolf is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Soberwolf For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-18-2015), ScooterBoo (06-19-2015), sthlondonab (06-18-2015)
Old 06-18-2015, 10:48 PM
  # 247 (permalink)  
Member
 
sthlondonab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,696
Hey all

Rah - congrats on day 12. Glad you are feeling good. Day by day it gets better :-)

On my way to work. The weather is great again, I love summertime. I am sure some challenges to come with parties and BBQs but I have some good sober muscles now

Have a great Friday all
sthlondonab is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to sthlondonab For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-19-2015), Grateful11 (06-19-2015), ScooterBoo (06-19-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 03:02 AM
  # 248 (permalink)  
Member
 
determined99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Happy Friday kids!

Gotta jump quick today, but wishing everyone a fabulous one!

You may be young, you may be old. Whatever stage of life you are in, these are your school days.

Unbroken.
determined99 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to determined99 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-19-2015), Grateful11 (06-19-2015), ScooterBoo (06-19-2015), sthlondonab (06-19-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 04:22 AM
  # 249 (permalink)  
Member
 
ScooterBoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Good morning,

Great posts. I love your list, London.

Pink, your post made me think - we all need a list of stress relievers. We depended on the bottle for so long.

I loved my job, but I do not miss one minute of it - at times it was highly stressful, dramatic, other times fun and funny. I looked forward to selling my Boston condo and living at the Cape year-round, and I admit, I looked forward to drinking during the day...my vision was that I would be able to moderate yet enjoy drinking at lunch, at the beach, etc. What was I thinking????? Obviously my heavy drinking got worse when I retired. The only days I did not drink to excess was when I was too hungover to.

Rah, in my earliest posts I kept repeating that Miller Lite beer and White Zin were my best friends. Now, although I have the same human friends I did last summer, I have come to realize I am my own best friend. I am proud of how I look, how I feel, how my house looks, how my clothes, garage and basement are organized. I am feeling very self-satisfied at this point.

And, I feel I appreciate myself more than I would if I were not alcoholic. It is sort of like how I appreciate every nice day after the horrible, miserable winter weather we had here.

Let's keep on keeping on.
ScooterBoo is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ScooterBoo For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-19-2015), determined99 (06-19-2015), Grateful11 (06-19-2015), sthlondonab (06-20-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 10:42 AM
  # 250 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hobbers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 446
Hi gang,

It's me- Hobbers! I am happy/sad/glad/grateful/frustrated to be back here, so VERY glad to see you all are 1. here, and 2. (hopefully) here FOR me.

So, I have been doing a 'eh' but declining job at controlling my drinking for the past ~6 months. As I like to tell myself (over and over)- 'I have good weeks, and bad days, usually.

Well, I went to a 4-day bachelor party, which I 'oh so wisely' preceded the day before by drinking a damn bottle of rum, and now- I feel I am right back/nearly back to where I was when I started this whole journey/process in the first place. Sneaking drinks, hiding, lying, refilling bottles with water so no one knows how much I drank... you all- I know- know the drills.

So, I am struggling again. I want to be better, but I struggle with exactly what better is. I have to tell you, MOST of the past 6 months, I have been truly enjoying having 1 or 2 drinks, and done, like a 'normie'. It's just those bad days, which seem to be becoming more frequent now, that terrify me.

Any my anxiety/GAD is getting worse, though it was getting wrose when I was totally sober too, and that just compounds the issue.

Anyway, I am whining now, and I will stop. What I really need is support, prayers, love, and some advice.

And I really want to tell you all that I am THANKFUL that you are all still here (and doing soooo much better than me- congrats!).
Hobbers is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Hobbers For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-19-2015), determined99 (06-19-2015), ScooterBoo (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-20-2015), Ultramarathoner (06-19-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 11:44 AM
  # 251 (permalink)  
Member
 
pinklinzangel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Hobbers, I'm on a train so bad network, will post more later, but totally have your back with love and support, stay with us, post often, you can do this if you really want to so very good to see you back, you've been missed! Coming back is the hardest step. Baby steps man. You got this! More later xx
pinklinzangel is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to pinklinzangel For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-19-2015), ScooterBoo (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-20-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 11:57 AM
  # 252 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hobbers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 446
Thank you, Pink. I need it. I'm trying... I just wish I felt more confident/comfortable.

SO glad you are here.
Hobbers is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Hobbers For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-19-2015), ScooterBoo (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-20-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 01:55 PM
  # 253 (permalink)  
Member
 
determined99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Great to see you hobbers! Just jump right back in, dust off and we can do this together.
determined99 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to determined99 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-19-2015), ScooterBoo (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-20-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 02:50 PM
  # 254 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hobbers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 446
Thanks, truly, for understanding guys. I am kinda shaky today, but mostly because I am just so full of shame and anxiety. I don't know what else to say.

I feel like I am letting down myself, my wife, and my parents. on the flip side, when I am CONTROLLED drinking these past 6 months or so, those were some of the best times I have had with my wife again.

So confusing and difficult. I know life isn't supposed to be easy, but this stinks.
Hobbers is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Hobbers For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-19-2015), determined99 (06-19-2015), ScooterBoo (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-20-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 04:41 PM
  # 255 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,508
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome back Hobbers

After a 20 year battle I had to admit that, although I managed controlled drinking sometimes, the effort was immense, and there were still many more times when I lost control.

those lost control moments got more and more and the years and my alcoholism progressed.

Accepting that I wasn't, and would never be a normal drinker was actually a great weight off my shoulders.

Normal drinkers don't have to fight so bone crunchingly hard to be normal - they just are.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Grateful11 (06-20-2015), Hobbers (06-20-2015), ScooterBoo (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-20-2015)
Old 06-19-2015, 11:11 PM
  # 256 (permalink)  
Member
 
pinklinzangel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Hey Hobbers,
If you were a vegetarian, would you have the odd sausage here and there?
Dee hit it straight, if you are consciously trying to be normal, it is not sustainable forever, and will exhaust you. I cannot moderate. Hell, I though I WAS moderating the whole time before I knew I was an alcoholic.

It's hard. It's still sometimes a daily battle, but now, after a time, for the first time ever, the ratio has changed, there are many more good days than bad, and it now feels more normal for me not to drink, than to drink and that's a huge psychological shift. Don't give up hope Hobbers x

I think People who drink Normally, drink like they would eat ice cream: a little bit here and there usually a tub hanging around in the freezer. On a bad day might scoff the lot, but most days goes without. Weekend and holiday treat, a cheeky bit with dinner. The difference is, unlike us with alcohol, they don't lie about buying ice cream, hide it, keep a spare, buy it from different shops so nobody thinks uour over indulging, panic when they run out, eat it as soon as the fron door is closed, think about it all day at work, top it up with fake ice cream so nobody sees the deficit, they stop when they are full. It helps me to use analogies. Apologies if you think it daft.

Hobbers, if nothing more than this is possible right now, then do only this: do not drink today.
We can deal with tomorrow after today if you need to do it that way.
I couldn't have hot this far without team August. ....Keep with us Hobbers you can do this xxxx

Big hugs My friend xxx
pinklinzangel is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to pinklinzangel For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-20-2015), Grateful11 (06-20-2015), Hobbers (06-20-2015), ScooterBoo (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-20-2015), Stubbs16 (06-20-2015)
Old 06-20-2015, 04:28 AM
  # 257 (permalink)  
Member
 
determined99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Sleeping in a bit on a sober Saturday. Man that is just awesome!

Pink, great narrative, spot on. I can say also, jobbers that you may have been having fun with a few drinks, no doubt. I had the biggest fear I would never have fun like that again. But I swear once I got past Seven months or so, that changed. I finally saw that my personality came back and that fun was an illusion with a bad after taste. I never believed it would happen. In fact I thought it even sounded corny when people would say that to me. But it did. Trust me, I used to get absolutely bonkers funny crazy after a few drinks. Now I just do it whenever I feel like it. My favorite is acting like a fool when cops are around, I just love that one. I beep and wave at them now with a big old smile. I should grow up, but I don't plan to.

Stick with it dude.

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." Peter drucker.

Unbridled laughter.
determined99 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to determined99 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-20-2015), Grateful11 (06-20-2015), ScooterBoo (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-21-2015)
Old 06-20-2015, 07:45 AM
  # 258 (permalink)  
Member
 
ScooterBoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Hobbers, welcome back! As soon as you have some sober time in, you will not deal with shame and anxiety. Eventually drinking will not occupy your thoughts, and you will feel pride, comfort, security and your sense of humor, fun -side, whatever, will gradually come back. You will enjoy social gatherings because your mind will not be pre-occupied with alcohol.

I tried moderation many times - it works for a short time, then you are right back into the cycle of looking forward to a drink/getting drunk/getting through a hangover/looking forward to a drink.

Stay with SR; like Pink, I would never have gotten this far without the help of the wonderful people in this August team.

Let's keep on keeping on. #NO SAUSAGES !
ScooterBoo is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ScooterBoo For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-20-2015), determined99 (06-20-2015), Grateful11 (06-20-2015), sthlondonab (06-21-2015)
Old 06-20-2015, 09:30 AM
  # 259 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hobbers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 446
Thanks all- and Pink in particular- That analogy helped. I can't relate to all of that, but much of it, in 'ice cream terms', yeah. I could.

I didn't drink yesterday, and my goal is to not drink today. I don't really want to focus much past that.
Hobbers is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Hobbers For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-20-2015), determined99 (06-20-2015), Grateful11 (06-20-2015), ScooterBoo (06-21-2015), sthlondonab (06-21-2015), Stubbs16 (06-20-2015)
Old 06-20-2015, 10:30 AM
  # 260 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ultramarathoner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,175
Great to see you back Hobbers!

Lets make it a great weekend Team!
Ultramarathoner is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Ultramarathoner For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (06-20-2015), determined99 (06-20-2015), Grateful11 (06-20-2015), ScooterBoo (06-21-2015), sthlondonab (06-21-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:55 PM.