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One Year and Under Club Part 46

Old 05-27-2015, 02:14 AM
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Originally Posted by DrakeCKC View Post
The last two sober years "best of my life"? No.... not really.

Better than they would have been otherwise? Most definitely.
Dearest Drake, without sobriety, I don't think we would have had the joy of sharing this last 2 years with you, so they may not have been your happiest ( I know at times they have been downright tough) but I am grateful for them x

Dee we easily forget that you too still have your trials. I am glad you are able to still smile ( even if occasionally it is more of a grimace!) we are all better people for your wisdom and gentle guidance
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Old 05-27-2015, 02:38 AM
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Life is grand for me toots - no grimacing here

D
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Old 05-27-2015, 02:55 AM
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Dee, that's so great to hear! :-)
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Old 05-27-2015, 07:04 AM
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Hi undies.
Had some terrible nightmares last night and feel like I got little to no sleep at all. Hopefully wimp won't be too rough today. Went to the casino last night and won a few hundred again!

Hope everyone has a nice day!
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Old 05-27-2015, 08:30 AM
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Hate when my wimp is rough....

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Old 05-27-2015, 04:00 PM
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Hi Undies

It's good to read what everyone is doing to follow their sober paths.

For me the past 15 months have been an amazing journey. Saturday I marked 15 months sober and didn't even realize it. It's not because sobriety is unimportant to me, but because the work I've put into recovery hast made not drinking second nature to me. It isn't first nature, or innate, for me not to drink. If it was, I wouldn't be here or at AA! I pray that I never mistakenly think sobriety doesn't require work, for that is when I stand the chance to lose it all.

Originally Posted by IWLSAST View Post
Had some awesome years till alcohol found its grip all over my body, mind and soul.
This has stuck with me since Carlos posted it. I had some nice years before alcohol took over. I had nice friends in college, graduated with honors, travelled around the world, married my best friend, had a good job, a nice house, and good health.

I never had a healthy relationship with alcohol but it didn't take over my life until my kids came along. It didn't happen all at once. It slowly, imperceptibly it took over my body, mind and soul.

I've spent the last 15 months digging out from 8 years of alcoholism. It hasn't been pretty or easy, or the best years of my life, but it's been a transformation in the way I look at the world. Every leg of my sober journey has offered me a new lesson, a new outlook, and a new opportunity to heal.

I've recognized over the past 15 months that I felt depressed but I didn't know what that meant. I learned that a depressed mind is a ruminating mind, and recently I had the opportunity to realize just how prone I was to brooding over what upset me, and how that got in the way of my happiness and joy. I've come up with a new tool - I tell myself "Stop!", and I turn my thoughts to what I'm grateful for, or I repeat an affirmation like "everything will be ok," or pray to be released from the bondage of self so that I may do my hp's will, or listen to the radio, or look at nature, or pay attention to whatever is right in front of me.

It's working. My husband recently went to a picnic with all AA people. When he came home he proceeded to get hammered. I was disappointed but I didn't dwell on it. It is what it is and while I don't approve of it or see myself living with it long term, I accept it.

Other women in recovery whose husbands aren't alcoholics have had difficulties in the dynamics of their relationships since getting sober. I'm so grateful for other alcoholics' camaraderie along the way to make the journey more enjoyable, to have fun, to share tools, and to offer support. I don't feel so alone anymore. But it's taken me 15 months of ups and downs, open mindedness, honesty, vulnerability, acceptance, and most recently, willingness to do what ever it takes to get there.

I get so much out of the programs of AA and Al Anon. I am humbly learning how to share my gifts with the program and use those principles in many other aspects of my life.
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Old 05-27-2015, 05:50 PM
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(((Glee))), lovely post!
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Old 05-27-2015, 07:47 PM
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GF months coming up is awesome! Great post!

Drake wimp is great too hah. Didn't even notice that typo.

Womp was good. Tomorrow is gonna be crazy but atleast the day will fly by.

I got home and my neighbor called me over. She was wasted and offering me booze and pot and I was so caught off guard even after saying I don't drink anymore she then offered me a beer and I almost caught myself saying yes because it was so un expected. Glad I didn't drink tho
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Old 05-27-2015, 07:56 PM
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Congratulations on escaping, BFree!
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Old 05-27-2015, 10:59 PM
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GF apparently typing on my cell isn't my best skill. Congrats on 15 months!
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Old 05-28-2015, 02:08 AM
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Glee lovely post and good to see you accepting that there are things beyond your control. Congratulations too on 15 months sweetie. Xx

BeFree, I nearly got caught out similarly recently, I didn't want to drink, I just almost caught myself out with old muscle memory!!! At least you realised in time and stayed your course. Sweeter dreams tonight Hun, x

Glad to hear it Dee.

How are the Undies here? Let's hear from you all x
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Old 05-28-2015, 07:02 AM
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Hi undies.
Getting ready for a busy womp day. I'm officially down a co worker who is supposed to be checking into rehab today for drinking but only myself and one other person know that's where she's going. In my field that's something that has to be kept on the dl so everyone else thinks the person is going to get help for depression. I'm hoping it works out well for my co worker. It does mean that I'm taking on a lot more responsibility so if stress hits I'll be sure to post here instead of drinking.

Have a great day everyone!
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Old 05-28-2015, 06:11 PM
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Glee, congrats on 15 months! You have worked so hard for this 😃
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Old 05-29-2015, 12:59 AM
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Good strategy BeFree, sorry to hear of your friends troubles at least she will have you to talk with when she comes back. Try to talk the boss into employing an agency worker to take over some of the admin or grunt work or something if you can. You are only human and even though you will not allow drink to temp you, too much stress could well make you I'll and then where would your workplace be?? ((( hugs sweetie)))
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Old 05-29-2015, 01:22 AM
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Thanks for that post GF. I'd been interested in getting some feedback from people who have got a year or so done (congrats on 15 months!!). My journey is only 39 days old so it's good to read success stories like yours, and of course, try to learn from your acquired wisdom.
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:00 AM
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Hi undies
Checking in before womp! Grateful to be sober today!

Have a great day everyone!
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:42 AM
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Womp on Undies... womp on..

Amp, these folks are an inspiration. They helped me get past 2 years and more.
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Old 05-29-2015, 01:40 PM
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Hi, Amp. I've got 18 consecutive months of sobriety now. I still feel like my sobriety time has been recent enough that the memory of temptation is still fresh in my mind for sharing--but it's long enough that I don't feel like I'm on the precipice every day of my life.

For years I knew I liked to drink too much--I liked it much more than others I knew--but I was in denial that I had a true problem. I likened myself to other famous people (like CS Lewis) and said, "If tankards of beer are good enough for such a man as him, then they're good enough for me!"

When I was in a social setting I was impatient for the grand opening of the bottle; whereas the others were satisfied after one or two, I was always secretly ticked off to see the bottle being put away.

Every once in awhile my conscience would bother me that something wasn't quite right, and I'd try to cut back. One friend cut to the chase and told me I needed to give it up altogether. I rejected that advice for a long time: then, for God's sake, I tried it. The abstinence lasted about 6 months--then I took my drinking into the closet.

My husband tried to make deals with me and get me to moderate; but, of course, it just couldn't be done. I always had to break down and drink during the week.

Finally in January 2013 I asked God how, exactly to quit drinking. I knew that the short answer was simply to stop ingesting alcohol, but what I needed was the mental motivation to do it. What would I gain from stopping? I didn't care enough about any of my relationships to want to bother--they all hobbled along well enough for my taste.

I flipped the Bible open and landed on 2 Timothy 2:20-21:

"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. *Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. "

I realized then that he would give me the power to cleanse myself, and that then I had a good chance of being useful to him.

That was really my turning point.

I was faithful for a few months, but then I was pressured to get off SR, which was my only major means of support. Temptations grew, and I had a couple glasses of wine with lunch in May. They were magnificent; and instantly I had a wild lust for more. I bought bottle after bottle trying to recreate that perfect buzz, but it didn't work. Again and again I got angry and dumped them down the sink. After 10 days I quit again.

In July I left SR again (still my only means of support). I lasted till November, when I was so mad at my world that I drank as a big FU.

After two days (and seeing my family really disgusted), I gave it up again--for good. I had learned my lesson: there is nothing truly good to gain from drinking. Any fleeting satisfaction is just a mirage. It's like a bubble that pops within the hour.

I have been sober ever since. I admit that I have had moments of extreme stress or frustration and have a quick thought of "I could really go for a triple right now"--but I am able to dismiss it right away, because I have seen that it is really not the solution. It would ruin more than it would solve.

So when I get the occasional angry thought, I don't take it seriously at all, and dismiss it immediately.
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Old 05-29-2015, 02:21 PM
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(((Gilmer))), thanks so much for sharing that! You are a strong lady. Did they tell you when you'll have the MRI results?
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Old 05-29-2015, 02:30 PM
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Thank you Glimer! Inspiration indeed! I really want to beat this on this, my third serious attempt (1st 2 weeks, 2nd 38days). Tomorrow is my 40th day so I am doing the best I ever have after 25 years as a functioning alcoholic. Guess I just always liked it too much.

At the moment I simply feel liberated that it's out of my life and sincerely hope to never drink again. 11,30pm here in Spain so I'm calling it a night! Thanks and blessings to all!
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