Class of November 2014 Part9
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 124
Kensho, I'm sorry to hear that the beast has found you again. I'm glad you're "rethinking it outloud" -- I think that's a great idea.
I'm not on here as often as I should be, but things are going well. I'm very thankful for this class and feel fortunate to have found it in November. Hope you're all enjoying the summer.
I'm not on here as often as I should be, but things are going well. I'm very thankful for this class and feel fortunate to have found it in November. Hope you're all enjoying the summer.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi GHD Fluffer SW and workforit 
D
D
I'm coming up on six months' sobriety at the end of the month. I've even attended two social events involving alcohol with no problems abstaining. I get the odd twinge commuting home from work on rare occasions, but it passes quickly. My new job is very intellectually demanding, and I think my AV is still trying to tap the reward center in my brain sometimes.
I'm starting to worry less about my resolve once the end-of-year holidays roll around. I think I am starting to appreciate the long-term benefits of sobriety. Thank you for all your wisdom over the years.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ayr, Scotland
Posts: 100
Sorry to join back in only to report a lapse. I've been doing really well, well over 200 days, so much so that I've stopped counting. A month or so ago I went on a trip for work that I usually do once a year and that has always been 'traditionally' a bit crazy - airport, hotel, weekend away, etc, etc. I've come through Christmas, birthdays, holidays, going out, no problems. This trip for some reason I decided to observe the 'tradition'. I did. It was as usual. I came home and went back to what is now normal, ie, not drinking. There have been a couple of other minor lapses since, after which I've decided, no, I'm going back to the total abstinence thing. Don't like any of the consequences of drinking, although I do recognise that it's now harder to get hold of that disgust about it that got me going on my first part of the journey. It's salutary to realise that relapsing is always there as a possibility. I confess I'd read a few of the posts here where people were reporting such lapses and I just kept thinking 'why would you?' but, of course, it's easy for any number of reasons.
I don't feel I'm back where I started. I'm about to set off on a two-week Mediterranean cruise and don't feel in danger of lapsing, but I wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom - or just words - on the subject of how different it is getting back on the bike once you've fallen off - even though I kind of jumped off of my own accord!
Pix
I don't feel I'm back where I started. I'm about to set off on a two-week Mediterranean cruise and don't feel in danger of lapsing, but I wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom - or just words - on the subject of how different it is getting back on the bike once you've fallen off - even though I kind of jumped off of my own accord!
Pix
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ayr, Scotland
Posts: 100
...oh yes, also, is it cheating to keep counting from last November? I still feel like I'm on that same journey and that this is, therefore, day 233. It's more about intentions than numbers....isn't it? Don't know. What do you all think?
Px
Px
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Hi Pixie
I think in the end it's one of those to thine own self be true things.
I wouldn't think that my sober time was wasted - but I couldn't ignore the lapse either.
I would start my count over. To not do that, for me, would leave the door open to more relapses.
I'd rationalise that 233 days with 10 lapses is not much worse than 5 lapses or whatever.
I'd rationalise that at least I'm not drinking like I used to...and then if/when I did, I'd rationalise it was only one time...or two...or three.
As I said, it's your call. There are other methodologies for sure.
What I really think you need to do is look at what's happening...having lapses to me means that something's not working in my recovery plan, and I need to fix it before the trickle becomes a flood again.
D
I think in the end it's one of those to thine own self be true things.
I wouldn't think that my sober time was wasted - but I couldn't ignore the lapse either.
I would start my count over. To not do that, for me, would leave the door open to more relapses.
I'd rationalise that 233 days with 10 lapses is not much worse than 5 lapses or whatever.
I'd rationalise that at least I'm not drinking like I used to...and then if/when I did, I'd rationalise it was only one time...or two...or three.
As I said, it's your call. There are other methodologies for sure.
What I really think you need to do is look at what's happening...having lapses to me means that something's not working in my recovery plan, and I need to fix it before the trickle becomes a flood again.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ayr, Scotland
Posts: 100
I don't feel myself 'rationalising' like you say you would. These were isolated moments which only reminded me why I stopped in the first place - although none of them went into crazy territory or anywhere near. Starting over would make me feel like it was a whole new journey instead of the continuous one that it is and I was always worried by the idea of having to have a 'perfect'record. It brings a lot of pressure which for me, doesn't work in other areas of life so I wouldn't expect it to work here. I get what you're saying about almost 'allowing' lapses but that's not how I am seeing it myself. It feels more honest, or real, to count the whole journey. I'm not where I was at the start and I don't feel I need a perfect record to get back on it and keep the numbers going. I don't mean I'm looking at lapses as somehow inevitable and not drinking at all is what I'm aiming at most of the time. Losing perspective a bit, and forgetting for a little why I started this journey is, I think, part of the journey. I don't want to feel any slip at all means I go back to square one. I'm never going back there. Having said that, I'm now employing the 90 days-no-surrender policy I did at the start to get focused again. Hope I'm not undermining anything fundamental here. I'll always be so grateful for this site and for the help it has been and is to get going and keep on this. Just finding my own way through it. I still recognise that trying the 'control' thing with alcohol is not an option.
Pix
xx
Pix
xx
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Pixie,
I've given up on these discussions with Dee I hear what you are saying about not feeling like you are back to square one. Just remember that many people who relapse end up at square minus ten. The point of closing the door to relapses is to not risk the progression to a more intractable addiction.
For what it is worth, my relapse after getting sober for six months in 2013 did not send me back to square one. However, I think that is because I was making major life changes to rid myself of the anger and frustration that underlay the start of my heavy drinking. I no longer have the underlying issues, but I am mindful of the physical cravings that I know would return if I were to relapse now. I don't kid myself that it isn't dangerous to let that monster out of its cage. We made the mistake of feeding that beast in the past, and it's going to come around with its paw out again and again just to see if it can get us to do it again.
I've given up on these discussions with Dee
I hear what you are saying about not feeling like you are back to square one. Just remember that many people who relapse end up at square minus ten. The point of closing the door to relapses is to not risk the progression to a more intractable addiction.For what it is worth, my relapse after getting sober for six months in 2013 did not send me back to square one. However, I think that is because I was making major life changes to rid myself of the anger and frustration that underlay the start of my heavy drinking. I no longer have the underlying issues, but I am mindful of the physical cravings that I know would return if I were to relapse now. I don't kid myself that it isn't dangerous to let that monster out of its cage. We made the mistake of feeding that beast in the past, and it's going to come around with its paw out again and again just to see if it can get us to do it again.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ayr, Scotland
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by GroundhogDay
Pixie,
I've given up on these discussions with Dee I hear what you are saying about not feeling like you are back to square one. Just remember that many people who relapse end up at square minus ten. The point of closing the door to relapses is to not risk the progression to a more intractable addiction.
.
I've given up on these discussions with Dee
I hear what you are saying about not feeling like you are back to square one. Just remember that many people who relapse end up at square minus ten. The point of closing the door to relapses is to not risk the progression to a more intractable addiction..
A bientot,
Pix
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ayr, Scotland
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by Peacehappyness
Pixie, sorry to hear you are back too but I think we always learn from each sobriety stint/attempt and we just have to keep getting up and going for it again! 90 days no surrender policy sounds like a great place to start!
Peace X
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Enjoy your trip to the Mediterranean, Pixie
Glad to hear from you, Peace
Let's get this sober bus rolling again. I'm cruising along at over six months. Don't think about drinking much these days. Having a terribly stressful week, but not even tempted, so something must be right with my attitude. Husband has been wonderfully supportive too.
Glad to hear from you, Peace
Let's get this sober bus rolling again. I'm cruising along at over six months. Don't think about drinking much these days. Having a terribly stressful week, but not even tempted, so something must be right with my attitude. Husband has been wonderfully supportive too.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Peace, I'm very glad you are giving it another go and keeping us in the loop. I'm sure you will feel dramatically better in a couple more days. I confess I don't exercise and eat healthy as much as I should. Lately, it does nothing but rain plus I have been working late.
I have been talking to my husband a lot about retirement. Life is short and I want to spend mine somewhere less crowded. I have less than 8 years before I draw my pensions, etc. I would like to plan for leaving work sooner though. I have a great job right now, but it is still a job. Also, I found out some things recently that don't bode well for my company's future.
But, of course, there's the new enslaving healthcare law. It would be ridiculously expensive to pay for health insurance ourselves, but of course, we don't qualify for a subsidy.
I have been talking to my husband a lot about retirement. Life is short and I want to spend mine somewhere less crowded. I have less than 8 years before I draw my pensions, etc. I would like to plan for leaving work sooner though. I have a great job right now, but it is still a job. Also, I found out some things recently that don't bode well for my company's future.
But, of course, there's the new enslaving healthcare law. It would be ridiculously expensive to pay for health insurance ourselves, but of course, we don't qualify for a subsidy.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Peace,
Sorry to be so long in replying to your posts. I had company staying at my house this weekend. Wonderful visit with one of my closest friends/family member and her daughter.
I'm sorry you are feeling blue. I get that way sometimes, but luckily it is not an ongoing issue. I have sought a counselor in the past and found it very helpful, so I am glad to hear that you are getting some help. Congrats on Day 4.
Recovery is going well. I have been around alcohol several times now, but did not have any problem resisting. That is good since I have a wedding to attend soon, and those are always tough. I want to be able to live my life, not hide in my house.
Sorry to be so long in replying to your posts. I had company staying at my house this weekend. Wonderful visit with one of my closest friends/family member and her daughter.
I'm sorry you are feeling blue. I get that way sometimes, but luckily it is not an ongoing issue. I have sought a counselor in the past and found it very helpful, so I am glad to hear that you are getting some help. Congrats on Day 4.
Recovery is going well. I have been around alcohol several times now, but did not have any problem resisting. That is good since I have a wedding to attend soon, and those are always tough. I want to be able to live my life, not hide in my house.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 498
I'm not sure how many people are still logging on to the November Class, but I have missed you all. Gypsy, I'm so sorry for everything you have gone through, I'm hoping/praying it gets better for you!! Applekat how are you, I read back and didn't see many updates, Ubntubnt, Phoebe, workforit, Angd1978, marathon man and everyone else I hope all is well. I've had my ups and downs, mostly ups. My workout addiction overtook my alcohol addiction and I've been doing well on my "90 day + forever" quest (thank you Pixie 
) but the voice has returned mostly because I've injured myself and will be going into the hospital to have my hip replaced on Friday. My marathon dream is over, I have sold my bib and motivation is a bit weak. I'll have a 6-8 week recovery at home, I'm sure I'll be up and about but will be stuck in the house, no driving, no gym time, no running....which means I can sleep late and the worries of having beer/wine at night and not getting up for the morning workout will disappear (big motivation for giving it up...it was either the drink or the am workout). My wife still doesn't think I have a problem, so she won't be much support, so I am hoping you all will forgive the lack of presence on the site and let me back into the November class. I'm not sure what to expect over the weekend or the next few weeks but if it is anything like this past weekend I'm in trouble and will need more 2nd opinions. Stay well everyone and thanks for listening.
) but the voice has returned mostly because I've injured myself and will be going into the hospital to have my hip replaced on Friday. My marathon dream is over, I have sold my bib and motivation is a bit weak. I'll have a 6-8 week recovery at home, I'm sure I'll be up and about but will be stuck in the house, no driving, no gym time, no running....which means I can sleep late and the worries of having beer/wine at night and not getting up for the morning workout will disappear (big motivation for giving it up...it was either the drink or the am workout). My wife still doesn't think I have a problem, so she won't be much support, so I am hoping you all will forgive the lack of presence on the site and let me back into the November class. I'm not sure what to expect over the weekend or the next few weeks but if it is anything like this past weekend I'm in trouble and will need more 2nd opinions. Stay well everyone and thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by Magellan
I'm not sure how many people are still logging on to the November Class, but I have missed you all. Gypsy, I'm so sorry for everything you have gone through, I'm hoping/praying it gets better for you!! Applekat how are you, I read back and didn't see many updates, Ubntubnt, Phoebe, workforit, Angd1978, marathon man and everyone else I hope all is well. I've had my ups and downs, mostly ups. My workout addiction overtook my alcohol addiction and I've been doing well on my "90 day + forever" quest (thank you Pixie ) but the voice has returned mostly because I've injured myself and will be going into the hospital to have my hip replaced on Friday. My marathon dream is over, I have sold my bib and motivation is a bit weak. I'll have a 6-8 week recovery at home, I'm sure I'll be up and about but will be stuck in the house, no driving, no gym time, no running....which means I can sleep late and the worries of having beer/wine at night and not getting up for the morning workout will disappear (big motivation for giving it up...it was either the drink or the am workout). My wife still doesn't think I have a problem, so she won't be much support, so I am hoping you all will forgive the lack of presence on the site and let me back into the November class. I'm not sure what to expect over the weekend or the next few weeks but if it is anything like this past weekend I'm in trouble and will need more 2nd opinions. Stay well everyone and thanks for listening.
) but the voice has returned mostly because I've injured myself and will be going into the hospital to have my hip replaced on Friday. My marathon dream is over, I have sold my bib and motivation is a bit weak. I'll have a 6-8 week recovery at home, I'm sure I'll be up and about but will be stuck in the house, no driving, no gym time, no running....which means I can sleep late and the worries of having beer/wine at night and not getting up for the morning workout will disappear (big motivation for giving it up...it was either the drink or the am workout). My wife still doesn't think I have a problem, so she won't be much support, so I am hoping you all will forgive the lack of presence on the site and let me back into the November class. I'm not sure what to expect over the weekend or the next few weeks but if it is anything like this past weekend I'm in trouble and will need more 2nd opinions. Stay well everyone and thanks for listening.
We seem to be getting a growing number of people returning to post here. I suspect some others may join soon too.
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