SnoozyQ

hiya Julyers :-)

Hope you are all well :-)
I hurt my back at work on Saturday and have to take time off.
My sister Bonnie and I are waiting in Brisbane airport waiting to board a plane to Queensland.
Only booked it yesterday , how spur of the moment is that lol!

I wasn't even scared this time . The flight fromAdelaide to Brissy was bliss .
What's the odds of seeing 2 of my workmates In the Adelaide airport at 4am in the morning hahaha 1 nurse caught the same flight as me
Loving the time out xxxx
Looking forward to your stories guys xx

Dee74

Have a good flight to FNQ Snooz

D

Ladybug2

Hi everyone! Bob, thanks for this post - really good to read

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile - we went on vacation for a week to the beach and since coming back I have been trying to get into a new summer routine. My 5 year old graduated from preschool and my baby is almost 6 months so trying to get her in a good nap/bedtime routine has been challenging. And, not going to lie, I am still struggling with my AV and it's thinking it is still ok to drink once or twice a week. My last drink was Friday night and I want it to be my last. I don't want these memories of my girls to be clouded . Time goes too fast and they are too precious to me. Sorry if I sound like a broken record and if I have disappointed you all. I am going to commit to 100% sobriety again and hope you all can help me. This disease is so scary - I would do anything for my girls, so what can't I continue to live a sober life for them???

Hope you are all doing well. Thanks for being here

Soberwolf

Have fun Snoozy & Hi Ladybug

Hope you had a nice day Julyers

Dee74

Welcome back ladybug
do you have a plan going forward?

D

SnoozyQ

Hello Julyers :-)
Hi Ladybug , I'm so thrilled to hear from you darling :-) is Abigail 6 months really WOW .
You are a good Mum .
I'm struggling big time here tonight , I'm visiting my sister in Queensland , we arrived yesterday my younger sister and I . Spur of the moment.
They are huge drinkers , but I'm ok , so I thought until they started reminiscing and and I was on the tea and they were on the beer,

I so very much wanted to join in. I really truly honestly thought I would be ok as I've come do far , but this is hard. Bloody hard . I picked up a beer and they both told me I'm best off going to bed . I really wanted it.

I put it down and went to bed.

We are at the Jupiters Casino , I'm skipper. I've pickied up 3 girlfriends of my sisters and we are going to have dinner.

Some were already on the way when I picked them up.
Omg this is ******* hard :-(
I'll go play some roulette , I feel isolated , they are all having fun I want to as well.

Ladybug2

Good for you, Snoozy. So glad you put down that beer. Yes, this is so *******hard., but you know where that 1 beer will eventually lead and you have come too far, my friend. Glad you shared with us I can relate to how you are feeling. We went to the beach for a week with 3 other couples and I was the only one not drinking. Felt so alone - like I was being punished. It is frustrating to me that I still think of it that way. I still get angry when I think about how I let myself get to the point where I can't ever enjoy a drink again. I guess we will always have good days and bad days. Thinking of you

Ladybug2

Thanks Dee. SR has always helped me in the past, but I need to come here everyday.

Soberwolf

Hi Julyers im getting through a tiring week apts here apts there getting through it cant wait till friday

Spk soon guys im off to eat dinner

SnoozyQ

I don't know how else to come out & say it .

I drank :-(

Ladybug2

Oh Snoozy, what happened? We're here for you. Hope you're ok. I certainly know how you feel.

Soberwolf

Sorry to hear that Snoozy

Me & mrs sw finally finished Lost i loved it so did mrs sw

Going to relax for a bit 6.09pm

Leshar

Hello all, hello Snoozy, I'm sorry, how are you? Thinking of you.
I was readmitted to the psych unit via ER on Tuesday, suicidal. I finally succumbed to ECT yesterday, on the advise of three psychiatrists. It was like I was going to the electric chair it was that frightening. I wanted to die, but I have to keep trying.
Some confusion, memory issues, but it was this or I'd attempt my own life and I won't do this to my bird or my family.
This is a hard hard struggle for all of us. We are still fighting though. Snoozy and Ladybug, stay close.

Gilmer

(((((((Leshar))))))))

Ladybug2

Thanks. Leshar. Thinking of you too and hoping you start to feel better soon. Hugs and prayers going to you.

Feeling sad today about allowing myself to get back into some bad habits. I hate this disease

Leshar

Hi Gilmer, thanks and nice to see you here. I know you have struggled so much yourself. Thanks for your care and support.
Thanks too, Ladybug. One day, or minute at a time. We are all in this together.

Dee74

I'm really sorry that things aren't getting better Leshar.
I hope that the ECT, horrible tho it must be, will help

Snoozy the important thing is to not panic or mercilessly beat yourself up. It happened - learn whatever lessons you need to, then put it in the past where it belongs.

Get yourself back here pronto and find the right road again.

D

SnoozyQ

Hi Dee & thanks guys . I'm going to need to check in every day .
I don't have a pln , I don't even know how to have a plan or where to go from here.
I really thought I could get through this & my sisters have been great .
My youngest sister has gone back home but I've still got another week here with Tracy,
She went to work terribly hungover this morning and was still drunk .
I do t miss that.
I pulled myself together after that night at the casino.
I lost $500 at least , for me ..drinking & gambling go hand in hand!
I had 5 glasses of moscato.over the duration of the night.
I never actually hot , nor felt drunk , in fact I got absolutely zilch out of the experience .
Only being so pissed off I had lost that money.
I'm glad I lost it ( I know that's hard for you to understand ) but I inow myself, if I had won , I would hav been back again the next night.

I have not had a drink nor wanted to since .
I'm not shattered , I'm not anything really which absolutely amazes me , but I am sad that I'm only 2 weeks awY from my 2 year milestone & that cuts deeply.
I've just told my sister she will have to go without me for he duration of my holiday.

I'm sitting here wTching the sunset & thinking how proud my daughters are of me for being sober.
I'm not going to tell them and see the disappointment in their eyes .

I'll just have to move on , checkin every day here .
How is it that this happened , I was NEVER going to drink again & thought I was safe .
It's just NOT worth it !
There was NO FUN nor thrill in it whatsoever.

Thanks for listening , I'm sorry if I've let anyone of you down , p,ease stay on track guys.

Much love always ,

Wendy xxx

SnoozyQ

********** LESHAR , DARLING }}}}}}}

We love you , you will be ok

Gilmer

((((Snooz))))