Class of October 2014 Part 14
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
Homebase and I'm tuckered out. Lunch with Cowboy's family was great, then hung out with the full moon on the lakeshore this evening.
So all that worry for nothing. Will I ever learn?! Yes, of course. In fact, I'm already getting better at staying in the moment.
Congratulations, Briar! You truly are a talented writer. What a big accomplishment!
I had so much to say as I was reading through...now my sleepy head just says go to bed. Since I've got an early morning at work, I'd better hit the pillow. Gnight all!
Thinking of you, Venus.
So all that worry for nothing. Will I ever learn?! Yes, of course. In fact, I'm already getting better at staying in the moment.
Congratulations, Briar! You truly are a talented writer. What a big accomplishment!
I had so much to say as I was reading through...now my sleepy head just says go to bed. Since I've got an early morning at work, I'd better hit the pillow. Gnight all!
Thinking of you, Venus.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
Huge score to everyone....well done!! We are kicking butt guys. Facing whatever it is head on. The bad stuff, the good stuff, the hard stuff.
Once again, I appreciate the love and hugs. I need them. And I know you are all there for me, and that helps me to stay strong(ish). Dad is worse again today. I have just spoken to my older sister about me being there twice a day to help him eat. He needs more help, and I would rather it be me than a stranger. My sister is worried I will fall apart if I do this. I won't.
All three of us will talk more about it later and decide.
Re the mindfulness stuff, we all know it's important, but it can be hard to put into practice. So I would like to share a saying a friend in AA taught me years ago: "Keep your head where your hands are". I say it to myself over and over, especially at the moment. Try it.
Love to everyone. ♥
Once again, I appreciate the love and hugs. I need them. And I know you are all there for me, and that helps me to stay strong(ish). Dad is worse again today. I have just spoken to my older sister about me being there twice a day to help him eat. He needs more help, and I would rather it be me than a stranger. My sister is worried I will fall apart if I do this. I won't.
All three of us will talk more about it later and decide.
Re the mindfulness stuff, we all know it's important, but it can be hard to put into practice. So I would like to share a saying a friend in AA taught me years ago: "Keep your head where your hands are". I say it to myself over and over, especially at the moment. Try it.
Love to everyone. ♥
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Thanks guys. Apparently you all have way more confidence in me than I have in myself. I'm just so relieved. And now I know a little about open source content management systems.
V that sounds very hard, but I'm sure you will be glad you did it. I was away in college when my dad died, and I wish I could have been with him more. I still carry some regret for not being closer, and honestly for using school as a reason not to see him. I didn't have the kind of strength you do.
V that sounds very hard, but I'm sure you will be glad you did it. I was away in college when my dad died, and I wish I could have been with him more. I still carry some regret for not being closer, and honestly for using school as a reason not to see him. I didn't have the kind of strength you do.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
We have confidence in you Briar love because we have watched you make amazing leaps and bounds. You are awesome girl!
What you don't know about me is that I let my sisters down terribly when my mum died in August '12. I wasn't there in the end. I was off my tree, and not coping. I want to do better this time...for me, for them and of course for dad.
What you don't know about me is that I let my sisters down terribly when my mum died in August '12. I wasn't there in the end. I was off my tree, and not coping. I want to do better this time...for me, for them and of course for dad.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
OK...both of my sisters have kind of fallen apart.
I get it, I do. I guess that God or whatever you believe in is keeping me strong enough to look after everyone else right now. They have agreed to me helping dad with meals. I will be going there twice a day for the duration.
from ~ those benefits of sobriety? Man, not that I want this, but this is kind of a big one. We are strong because we are sober, but even more so, I believe that we are strong because we truly care for each other on this thread...well, I can do this because I know you are all there for me. I am not alone. Even though my cat is in the hot water cupboard (yep, she loves to lie in there on top of towels) and I am physically alone, I feel you all. And I have my faith.
I get it, I do. I guess that God or whatever you believe in is keeping me strong enough to look after everyone else right now. They have agreed to me helping dad with meals. I will be going there twice a day for the duration.
from ~ those benefits of sobriety? Man, not that I want this, but this is kind of a big one. We are strong because we are sober, but even more so, I believe that we are strong because we truly care for each other on this thread...well, I can do this because I know you are all there for me. I am not alone. Even though my cat is in the hot water cupboard (yep, she loves to lie in there on top of towels) and I am physically alone, I feel you all. And I have my faith.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
Thank you Dee.
I think the hardest part is that it is not peaceful for him...it is awful. A terrible struggle. This is a hard fact of life.
That is why I have decided to do my best to make it easier.
I think the hardest part is that it is not peaceful for him...it is awful. A terrible struggle. This is a hard fact of life.
That is why I have decided to do my best to make it easier.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
Keep your head where your hands are. I will use that again and again. Thank you.
It is so hard to watch our loved ones struggle. Your kindness to your father and sisters is golden, V., a light in the darkness. And how wonderful to be able to be that comfort for others now. You're doing great, hunny bunny. Hang in there!
It is so hard to watch our loved ones struggle. Your kindness to your father and sisters is golden, V., a light in the darkness. And how wonderful to be able to be that comfort for others now. You're doing great, hunny bunny. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
I just saw the second part of your post Conquest.
What you said means a great deal to me....I am trying my best. I really am. Gosh it is hard. But my mum is with me. I can do this. ♥
What you said means a great deal to me....I am trying my best. I really am. Gosh it is hard. But my mum is with me. I can do this. ♥
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Hi gang, Well I'm pooped, but I've got to say that the place looks great. No gym tomorrow morning.
I listened to that link that Briar provided, still processing some of the info.. It was nice to learn some of the science, but the implications of some parts brought me down a bit. Too tired to think now though, and that's a good thing.
Wishing all a nice Tuesday.
I listened to that link that Briar provided, still processing some of the info.. It was nice to learn some of the science, but the implications of some parts brought me down a bit. Too tired to think now though, and that's a good thing.
Wishing all a nice Tuesday.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
I much preferred the Pleasure Unwoven video to listening to that lecture.
I don't think I would have grasped his meaning in the way I have had I just listened to the lecture.
Hope the party goes really well tomorrow from.
Love to everyone. ♥
I don't think I would have grasped his meaning in the way I have had I just listened to the lecture.
Hope the party goes really well tomorrow from.
Love to everyone. ♥
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Check out the sunset tonight. The sun was huge and golden. (You don't want to know the kind of vehicular jackassery I committed to take that picture.)
FAD I know what you mean about that lecture. It was pretty discouraging to hear how serious these problems are. I actually had some serious thoughts about drinking after I saw that because I felt like aw crap, this is major, I'm screwed. But I think it's important we understand what's going on. Overall I think it helps me take a more objective stance on the thoughts and feelings I have when I crave alcohol.
Today was a decent day. I spent it cleaning and doing laundry. I started watching a show called The Last Man on Earth, which is hilarious. Light humor, I need that. It's on FOX if anyone's interested.
I'm seeing my new sponsor again tomorrow. I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed by AA right now and am inclined to pull away from it. I've hit it so hard the past two months - five meetings a week, two sponsors, I've read all the books, I do the daily reflections every morning, I listen to the speakers on youtube, I even have a bunch of AA apps on my phone that I work on every day. This is what they tell you to do - immerse yourself. Well, I'm getting burned out on it.
I'm starting to feel a little resistant (dare I say, resentful) to it. I probably just need a break and some space to process all this. AA can be a little brainwashy, and when I feel like I'm getting trapped in something, I run away. I'm trying to identify the problem and address it appropriately before I just isolate and disappear into a bottle of Bushmills.
I hope everyone is doing well.
FAD I know what you mean about that lecture. It was pretty discouraging to hear how serious these problems are. I actually had some serious thoughts about drinking after I saw that because I felt like aw crap, this is major, I'm screwed. But I think it's important we understand what's going on. Overall I think it helps me take a more objective stance on the thoughts and feelings I have when I crave alcohol.
Today was a decent day. I spent it cleaning and doing laundry. I started watching a show called The Last Man on Earth, which is hilarious. Light humor, I need that. It's on FOX if anyone's interested.
I'm seeing my new sponsor again tomorrow. I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed by AA right now and am inclined to pull away from it. I've hit it so hard the past two months - five meetings a week, two sponsors, I've read all the books, I do the daily reflections every morning, I listen to the speakers on youtube, I even have a bunch of AA apps on my phone that I work on every day. This is what they tell you to do - immerse yourself. Well, I'm getting burned out on it.
I'm starting to feel a little resistant (dare I say, resentful) to it. I probably just need a break and some space to process all this. AA can be a little brainwashy, and when I feel like I'm getting trapped in something, I run away. I'm trying to identify the problem and address it appropriately before I just isolate and disappear into a bottle of Bushmills.
I hope everyone is doing well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
I think you may have identified the problem already Briar.
Too much of anything in my life inevitably creates negative consequences for me.
For me, the answer here is balance.
Lovely sunset, but please drive safely girl!!
Too much of anything in my life inevitably creates negative consequences for me.
For me, the answer here is balance.
Lovely sunset, but please drive safely girl!!
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