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Class of March 2015 Part 5

Old 07-17-2015, 12:19 PM
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I think you made the right decision with the cat, Spirit. It is always tough to see our animal friends suffer. I had a large dog for over 12 years and it was one of my toughest days ever when I had to put him down.
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Old 07-17-2015, 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted by immri View Post
Hi guys, I messed up and drank again, so it's back to day one for me.
So mad at myself, mainly for hurting my family, but also very grateful it was only one day of drunkenness and didn't turn into a week or month long binge.
I prayed to be able to stop and something out there helped that happen, so thankfully today I'm just hungover with no desire to drink more (I was the type that drank all through the night and carried on the next morning to avoid a hangover, so I'm so grateful to not be doing that right now

Feeling pretty low, I wish it never happened, but I can't change that now and I'm trying hard to stop myself expecting my family to just go back to normal like it never happened - a bad habit of mine is wanting to fix everything instantly and I know that's not fair to the people I've let down so I'm really trying to avoid that
Just so mad at myself
Thanks for being here guys
It's ok to be mad at yourself. But, use that anger to strengthen your resolve for the future rather than allowing it to drag you into a dark place. You've made great progress immri and you displayed a high degree of bravery coming here and telling us all the truth. You can do this immri, you have to believe that.
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Old 07-17-2015, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted by immri View Post
Oh and sorry I only just read back, but I'm so sorry to hear about that djinn but you definitely did the kindest thing imo
Thanks immri. It took me awhile to get past it but, I have finally come to terms with the whole thing.
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Old 07-17-2015, 08:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Bobcat17 View Post
I think you made the right decision with the cat, Spirit. It is always tough to see our animal friends suffer. I had a large dog for over 12 years and it was one of my toughest days ever when I had to put him down.
I can only imagine the gravity of that decision. Especially after 12 years of friendship! I think though, in some cases, it really is the kinder thing to do, sadly....
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Old 07-19-2015, 11:58 AM
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Well we've made it half way through summer Marchers!

Lately I've been thinking more about going to AA. I've never gone but I think I need to be socializing with people who don't drink and don't feel sorry for themselves because they can't drink. I definitely feel that way about myself.....WHAT? I can never have another drink???? (Of course I felt the same way when I quit smoking 33 years ago and now I wouldn't dream of starting that habit again. )

I've stopped counting the days and now will just go to months and hopefully I will make it to 5 months in a few weeks.

Immri, sorry for your relapse, but you were terribly brave to come back to us and tell us. Kudos for that and get backing right back to the business at hand - being sober!!!
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Old 07-19-2015, 11:58 PM
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That's one of the reasons I like AA, it's nice to catch up with people who are on the same page as you and just 'get it' but also great to make some sober friends. I didn't know anyone really who didn't drink before going to AA and now even when I don't go to meetings i sometimes hang out with few girls I met there who want to do fun things sober. It's cool!

And congrats on being so close to 5 months, amazing!
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Old 07-21-2015, 07:41 AM
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Dear Marchers,

Glad to see we are all here still and hanging in with the plan! Good work all! My exercise hobby has increased so I have been spending my online time in the relevant exercise forums (which partly function for me as a recovery forum in that the necessity of not consuming garbage or poison is a consistent subject of discussion).

I will go and catch up on the messages I have missed. Carry on!

Mel
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Old 07-24-2015, 05:12 AM
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Hi everyone,

My voluntary work begins next week. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm also considering aa or my local church womens group. I'm not religious in the normally accepted way and I don't usually fit in very well with large groups but I need to do something. I've been isolating a bit and it's reflecting in my behaviour I think.

Well done to my fellow marchers. We're doing this thing one day at a time right?
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Old 07-24-2015, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by mystified View Post
Hi everyone,

My voluntary work begins next week. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm also considering aa or my local church womens group. I'm not religious in the normally accepted way and I don't usually fit in very well with large groups but I need to do something. I've been isolating a bit and it's reflecting in my behaviour I think.

Well done to my fellow marchers. We're doing this thing one day at a time right?
You got n it! One day at a time. And trust me, they add up fairly quickly. I'm at 102 days! I NEVER thought I'd get so far. I owe a lot of that success to this March class.
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Old 07-25-2015, 05:15 AM
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Depression running deep today. Playing phone tag with the counseling center to set up an appointment. I guess drinking was the fun part of my life and now I have nothing, which as I write that I know that's not true, I have so much but still feel so empty.
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Old 07-25-2015, 05:16 AM
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Originally Posted by mystified View Post
Hi everyone,

My voluntary work begins next week. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm also considering aa or my local church womens group. I'm not religious in the normally accepted way and I don't usually fit in very well with large groups but I need to do something. I've been isolating a bit and it's reflecting in my behaviour I think.

Well done to my fellow marchers. We're doing this thing one day at a time right?

Very true. Good work on getting out. I am thinking the same thing about AA. It's funny that when I was newly sober I couldn't get myself to go but now that I have almost 5 months I feel more sure about it.

Way to go!!!
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Old 07-25-2015, 05:18 AM
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Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn View Post
You got n it! One day at a time. And trust me, they add up fairly quickly. I'm at 102 days! I NEVER thought I'd get so far. I owe a lot of that success to this March class.
Congrats Spirit! 102 days is quite an accomplishment. Stay strong. How's the job situation going?
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Old 07-25-2015, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by secretary View Post
Depression running deep today. Playing phone tag with the counseling center to set up an appointment. I guess drinking was the fun part of my life and now I have nothing, which as I write that I know that's not true, I have so much but still feel so empty.
I know those feelings. Wondering what you're going to do to relax because without alcohol, "nothing is fun." Not to mention you start thinking about what you can replace it with. Those thoughts and ideas will fade. Maybe not completely, but to a point that they won't bring you down. You'll get there secretary.
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Old 07-25-2015, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by secretary View Post

Congrats Spirit! 102 days is quite an accomplishment. Stay strong. How's the job situation going?
Thank you secretary! Now that I've passed the 100 day mark, I feel like a hero! I feel like I've fully defeated my addiction and IT. FEELS. GREAT!
As for the job, things are great! I start my new job next week and I'm really looking forward to it. It's going to be a completely new experience for me and I'm grateful to have it. Life is good!!!
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Old 07-27-2015, 10:09 AM
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Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn View Post
Thank you secretary! Now that I've passed the 100 day mark, I feel like a hero! I feel like I've fully defeated my addiction and IT. FEELS. GREAT!
As for the job, things are great! I start my new job next week and I'm really looking forward to it. It's going to be a completely new experience for me and I'm grateful to have it. Life is good!!!
I hear ya spirit. 100 days was a huge psychological milestone for me too. I'm currently at 132 days which is the longest time I've been sober (excluding my pregnancies) in over 20 years.

I've realised that the 'numbing' I was indulging myself with was masking some irritating little character flaws (for want of a better word) which are only coming to light now. Being honest with myself is proving more tricky than I thought. Funny how the mind of an addict works isn't it?

I'm committing to participating more regularly here. Perhaps I can work out some of these issues with your support, friends?
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Old 07-28-2015, 04:48 AM
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Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn View Post
I know those feelings. Wondering what you're going to do to relax because without alcohol, "nothing is fun." Not to mention you start thinking about what you can replace it with. Those thoughts and ideas will fade. Maybe not completely, but to a point that they won't bring you down. You'll get there secretary.
I keep trying to remind myself that my brain is still building new pathways and to give myself time. Almost 5 months, the longest I've been sober.
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Old 07-28-2015, 04:50 AM
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Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn View Post
Thank you secretary! Now that I've passed the 100 day mark, I feel like a hero! I feel like I've fully defeated my addiction and IT. FEELS. GREAT!
As for the job, things are great! I start my new job next week and I'm really looking forward to it. It's going to be a completely new experience for me and I'm grateful to have it. Life is good!!!
That's great news Spirit. I hope it goes really well!!!
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Old 07-28-2015, 04:52 AM
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I've realised that the 'numbing' I was indulging myself with was masking some irritating little character flaws (for want of a better word) which are only coming to light now. Being honest with myself is proving more tricky than I thought. Funny how the mind of an addict works isn't it?

I'm committing to participating more regularly here. Perhaps I can work out some of these issues with your support, friends? [/QUOTE]

Same here, rediscovering who I really am when not numbed or pacified by alcohol. Please stop by more often and I will try to also. We still need each other!
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Old 07-28-2015, 09:41 PM
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Around this time last year I let myself get pulled into a network marketing business that I believed had huge potential. (I half believe it still does-it's on the back burner for the tim being) I got myself some business cards printed with my details on and added the phrase "you can't change your life if you don't change your thinking".

This morning my first waking thought was "you don't think your way into new behaviour, you behave your way into new behaviour.

So which feels more true for you?
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Old 07-28-2015, 10:51 PM
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I think there's a certain truth to 'fake it till you make it' - acting like a sober person helped me become the real thing...

but I had to change my thinking too.. so I dunno? 50/50?

D
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