LBrain

Vet may be on to something zero. It may be time to bring in the cavalry.

I don't have as big an issue, but amazon.com is evil. Not sure why she needed a $120 photography "course". Once a month something shows up here.
I'm just hoping I can land a job so I can start "putting away" again soon.
I figure I need to work for 10 more years.

Vet69

I think that Brain is right. She is suffering. But the two of you have been so close for so long that she may be inclined to rationalize your advice to justify her comfort zone. I have done the same thing and believe I know it when I see it.

jackrussell

Zero: couple counseling could really help with many issues. If you both agree it's important and necessary. And if you're lucky enough to find a good therapist.

On retirement: we'll be working for a number of years yet. We both like our work, so no problem there. Both are in good shape. Many peers have already retired. But the older you get, the less you can take for granted in terms of health. It's just a statistical truth. More people in their 70s have disabilities than do people in their 20s. I'm painting my fairly large, old frame house. The painting seems to be on a 6 year cycle. It's a lot of work. Today I was thinking: the next time this baby needs a paint job, I'm going to be 72. Dang! Will I still be able or willing to do roof and ladder work then? Will I want to pay someone to do this? NO! Will I consider moving out of this old house that I've largely rebuilt and that's served our family for nearly 40 years? NO! Is this a realistic and mature attitude on the risks of managing aging? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

TigerLili

I would find it terrifying to live with a compulsive spender. Debtors Anonymous helped me get out of the spiral of debt that I had been in for many years. Some would say I am cheap too but I am single and have to save for retirement, pay my mortgage etc. I don't do debt any more other than my mortgage. No credit cards, no store cards. Nada. No draws against future income, so to speak. It's very freeing and I don't mind if people think I'm cheap. It would be dreadful to have a spouse feel that way. I spend a fair bit of time on Dave Ramsay personal finance forums and many posters there are in the same boat with spouses who have very different financial views. I just don't know how I'd handle it. My exbf never gave the slightest consideration to what things cost when he was buying something for himself (buying for others was a different story...). It gave me heart palpitations.

TigerLili

Jackrussell I hear you on the house thing. That's how my parents feel about their house. My mum is 80 and my dad is 78. I can't wait to move to a nice country town in my retirement, away from the city and suburbs.

Muhv

Hi everyone! How' you all doing? It's so nice to see you all still here and posting.

I had my baby girl in the beginning of April, I'm a mother of 3 now. Still can't believe it myself.
Everything is ok with me, but I have to tell you, I had a slip after I had my baby. A few drinks on a few days. I started to regret it and went and got another one of those injections that I also got last year. The one that does not let me drink any alcohol.

Vet69

Welcome back and congratulations. Good for you for getting back on track. We have missed you. Please stay in touch!

Dee74

Congratulations on your new baby Muhv - and well done on getting back on the right road

D

jackrussell

Welcome back, Muhv! Congratulations all round!

jackrussell

This made for a good Saturday morning read. A non-drinker at parties, feeling a bit like 'the virgin at the orgy'.
I don?t drink: I know you think that makes me weird.

airwick

Another 24 please Saturday--8:20 a.m.

Vet69

My wife does the budget and banking and I do the taxes. She can squeeze a dollar until George Washington screams.

Brain, on Federal applications you must say that you meet or exceed EVERY listed qualification for the position. In fact, exaggerate if necessary. That's the only way your application will be forwarded for evaluation by someone who has substantive knowledge of the position being advertised. The initial person who screens it is someone who has no idea what the job requires. They are just a clueless administrative type that goes through a checklist. If you don't say that you're highly qualified for every requirement, you get rejected. That's how you get your foot in the door to be atinterviewed. Once you get in front of someone,it's how you present yourself that counts. I've gotten to know you; that's where you do your best work!

zerothehero

Muhv, so good to hear you're doing well, and congrats!

TigerLili

Muhv!! Congrats on your baby girl! So nice to see you here :-)

TigerLili

Hi airwick - I think you might have the wrong daily thread but feel free to stick around and hang out with us :-)

LBrain

Congratulations MUHV. Glad you are well. As you go through this new period of relying on a "shot to prevent you from drinking,"
take some time to understand why you actually "need" the shot in the first place. Perhaps a little attitude adjustment around drinking may be in order?

TL - I'm with you 100%, except I don't want to wait until I am old to find small town living - downsize to a single story with a workshop is all I need.

VET - Yes, I fully understand the application process to a degree. I was warned to never lie on a .gov application. But I was able to answer most of the "questions" with an "E" response. Meaning, I should be the one interviewing you for this job.
Unfortunately the 'resume' format is a bit "different" because I was just throwing a bunch of facts on the first page thinking I could clean it up and edit it later. If I had taken the time to properly format one a couple weeks ago, I'd be fine. It is a learning process.
Now I know I need to keep a file full of experience and be able to copy paste into the ,gov format. Truth be told, they couldn't find a better candidate if they looked for another unless it was someone who was a tranfer and did this job for years already.

JR - that piece on drinking... She started to lose me 2/3 of the way through as she began pontificating. The one thing that struck me the most and it is so very true is : "childhood in a bottle."
I'm going to keep that expression tucked away for future reference.

Have a great Sunday. Time to shower up quickly, strap on work shoes and hit the garden.
See you in a couple months airwick. Stop by any time.

zerothehero

About that piece on drinking... Some people hold my sobriety against me because most of my old drinking buddies are problem drinkers and my sobriety now messes with their paradigm. The water bottle in my hand causes them to wonder about the beer bottles in theirs. Automatic buzz-kill.

In professional circles people haven't even noticed (for the most part) that I no longer drink because they didn't know about my former parallel existence.

It's kind of liberating this not living a double life. I can be me. Nothing to hide but my past, and I'm getting less and less concerned about that.

LBrain

well, yesterday my neighbor was sulking because he didn't have anyone to drink with...

zerothehero

If he sinks a bowl into the dirt so the slugs can get in he'll attract some drinking buddies, but slugs are terminal alcoholics and will drink themselves to death in short order. Still, I would imagine there's plenty of slugs in your part of the woods, or snails, at least. They're just as bad. If I had a chance to bathe in beer I would have gone for it, but I would also have pulled myself out before drowning. That's how I roll. Or at least I used to. Actually, I would still consider bathing in beer, but I've never been one for drinking the bath water - even if it's beer. By the way, if you don't have the patience for waiting until the slugs find the bowl, may I suggest direct action. An entertaining option is to scoop the slugs into a clear glass of beer, and assuming this is a night time activity, shine a flashlight up through the bottom of the glass and watch the drunken writhing slug orgy. Back in the day we used to call this a slava lamp. Oh, yes, I had some strange fun, indeed, in my earlier days of intoxication. If not for misery and health issues, I would maybe still be making slava lamps on occasion. One warning, though, for those of you who still drink on occasion: Once you have created a slava lamp, do not under any circumstances forget it is a slava lamp and not the beer you might just enthusiastically guzzle. Take it from me. I blame it on the short term memory malfunction on account of smoking weed while engaging in direct action slug eradication. My poor neighbors. I'd imagine they had a nice, quiet celebration when we sold that house. Good times.

LBrain

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."

"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."

"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me...."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim.

"How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, no Brenda... no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee."