Elseware

I'm ok Zero pal.

Elseware

I'm putting this on here for all to see because I want you and everyone else to know what a rock you've been for me. I want you to know I will never forget your delightful wit and you making me laugh through tears and all of it. I am working hard on being ok. It's become my life's work. You're a rare and special man and I feel a great bond with you. I hope you'll still put a few cryptic haikus out there from time to time.

It was very hard getting off that abilify but I've done it and the tremors are gone. I have fallen into another severe depression but they started me on something else that is just now staring to kick in the tiniest bit. I'll take it and hurray. I think it will be ok. I'm starting to eat a little again.

Don't worry about me. My family has stepped up like troopers to get me through this. My husband even bought me a new horse. A gentle Tennessee walker named Snickers. No more wild horses for me.

I feel honored and lucky for your friendship. You have helped me more than you know, you hairy man. God bless you.

zerothehero

Thank you so much. This place has been my community, and you, Elsie, are a large part of why I keep coming back. Gilmer, too, and all the good poets and addicts out there who share and care. Though I am most often, as you say, cryptic, know that my love is as unambiguous as the most sincere prose, and I'm not going anywhere. I just want to spend less time online.

I'm thinking about starting a Refuge Recovery group in my town. I think I've been sober long enough to just come out of the closet, so to speak, and work on building community here - face to face - within a structure that really resonates with me. I need more flesh and blood contact. It's not always the best thing for me to sit in front of this screen. That's why my posts are fewer and farther between these days.

I'm glad you're addressing the med and depression issue, Elsie. I'm actually less than two weeks from being off all medication for the first time this year. I can't wait. I think you know, though, that I find sobriety (from alcohol and all other drugs, psychotropic or otherwise) psychologically challenging, so we'll see how it all rolls out. In the meantime, I'm still bleeding a lot, but I'm told that's normal. Still, between meds and bloodloss I feel kind of slow even without the painkillers.

I have a nice salad waiting, so laters for now...

zerothehero

i'm just grateful i
can walk and pee and that i
have health insurance

Elseware

Gray, cool and windy
Sunset peeps under the clouds
My husband loves me

Strokes me like a cat
Delicious and makes me purr
I rest gratefully

zerothehero

there is no defect
of character but simply
misguided thinking

zerothehero

i wanted god to
restore me to sanity
he said get to work

zerothehero

i'm not powerless
over alcohol if i
choose not to drink it

zerothehero

my will is my own
the quality of my life
rests on my choices

zerothehero

god can't remove my
shortcomings cuz what is done
is already done

zerothehero

aside from all that
the twelve steps make a certain
sort of sense to me

zerothehero

i want to go to
meetings but they usually
rub me the wrong way

zerothehero

so i come back here
though i say i won't because
you're my family

Gilmer

(((Zero)))

zerothehero

i'm overdue for
a meltdown but i'm thinking
it ain't coming soon

zerothehero

'twas a golden road
happy birthday jerry g.
you are sorely missed

zerothehero

too hot outside and
i grow fat in my basement
where it's cool and dark

Gilmer

I wish I could scream
Loud and long until I'm done
Without a pep talk.

Or a tough love speech.
I'm aware what's right and wrong.
I just need to scream.

It would help to scream.
I would scream until I'm hoarse--
To depressurize.

I would scream awhile--
Then I'd slowly taper off.
I would be OK.

To tell you the truth,
I am feeling better now.
Haiku is so great!

Gilmer

This thread is empty.
There will be no one to judge
Or call me a fool.

Gilmer

I feel sheepish now.
I shrieked in a public place--
Nothing to see here!