NikTes

I've been isolating too. Easy to do for me, I have few friends anyway, and they live far away from me. The closest friend I have is a big drinker -- and I'm due to see her soon and afraid of seeing her. I don't want to cut her out of my life -- she's been a lifeline, the only person who knows I used to drink in the morning. But I just can't picture the scenario of the two of us together without pounding back the wine. And oooh boy did we pound back the wine. In my heart, I know my sobriety is going to create distance. And that makes me very sad.

Chewy88

I've been using the patch and it works like gangbusters

Jeni26

Shame that a few of us seem to have the same problem with drunk husbands! I'm still figuring the best way to manage my own feelings about it.

Still I'm over my Mum's tonight and having a break from it all. About to tuck into chocolate cake...yum!

NikTes

Hooray for chocolate cake!

Dee74

Congrats on 30 days HappyFeet - and congrats to everyone - some great progress here

D

immri

I could've written this myself! My closest friend is a big drinker too but is incredibly important to me and is also the only one who knows the extent of my drinking. I've seen her a few times since trying to get sober and each time I've ended up drinking wine with her and relapsing because it's just what we used to do. Does she know you're not drinking now??
I actually resisted telling my friend I was 100% done with alcohol, with everyone else I was very direct but for some reason with her I kept saying that 'oh I'm going to aa, trying not to drink, but no if you want to share a bottle of wine at dinner I could have one or two glasses that's fine...'
Not a good idea, obviously
I've only just told her I absolutely don't drink now because it's killing me, so could we catch up for coffee etc next time because it's hard to be around alcohol with one of my favourite drinking buddies
She was very understanding and I'm glad I was finally firm with where I can and can't hang out with her. Could you try the same? It's definitely tricky to adjust to not drinking together, but I'm getting used to it and we just had a great time in a chocolate cafe the other day.

SpiritOfDjinn

This is awesome. A true friend is hard to find and this is what it looks like. I'm happy that things worked out this way for you immri. A beautiful silver lining.

NikTes, I hope things can go in a similar fashion for you and your friend. Losing friends is terrible, especially if they shun you because you're trying to live a better life. However, if your friend should shun you for this, it speaks volumes about your relationship with that person. Good luck to you.

Dee74

Some of my heavy drinking friends were very supportive. Others weren't and it was those ones who had to go...nothing was said really...without our common bond of alcohol we just drifted away ...

D

needtostopthis

Speaking off heavy drinking friends. One of my good friends (who also happens to be my niece) just had a baby and I went over to see the baby yesterday. He is 5 weeks old. My niece was a pretty heavy drinker before she got pregnant and she kept bringing up drinking yesterday. She kept saying she could not wait to be done breastfeeding because she wants to just get drunk. Then she said " we have to hang out soon and get drunk together and sing and dance like we used too" I nodded in agreement but told her that my therapist says I shouldn't drink. The therapist I see is the same one she saw years ago when she was really depressed. So she said oh he said that to me too but I had to tell him that I knew I wasn't going to quit and that I didn't want to focus on that. She was saying I should tell him that. It was kind of uncomfortable because I wanted to say to her, that I also knew I needed to get sober and its not just my therapist who thinks I have a problem. But I felt weird. She kept talking about how fun drinking is and how she has so much fun and yadda yadda. I actually started believing what she was saying because I USED to have fun too, but I am way past that point of having fun anymore. Anyway what happened was I got home and went staight to the bottle and got wasted. I was looking for that nostalgia I guess, looking for the good ole days. So here I am AGAIN on day friggin 1. I pleaded to god to help me today, I have never asked god for help with this but I felt so bad I just broke down. I am not even very religious. So sorry for this long post, but I had to get it out.

Pouncer

Sh*t. Started vaping today. I took my iron supplements on an empty stomach and decided that vaping would help with the nausea.

I am still working on the dollhouse for my lil' wee one. It looks great so far. Still lots to do.

Pouncer

Secretary, so happy to hear about your pup.

Need, I nursed my children for several years a piece. It kept me sober for many years. That was such a great time as a mother. I hope your niece will forget about the booze and think about the baby.

I hope everyone is doing well. I am nearing 4 weeks. The AV is really strong. I almost, almost, almost drank tonight. It really scared me. Oh well, here I am, sober and actually sick from the iron supplement I am supposed to take every day.

kinzoku

@needtostopthis

I'm really sorry to hear that but congrats on knowing your priorities. You know what you need to do and I believe asking for help is good. You can do it. Look at it as a learning experience. You let your friend get to you.

To add to the many stories of struggles today, my day wasn't free of my AV. My fathers girlfriend was talking to me about drinking and asking why I hadn't been drinking and wouldn't I have one to congratulate her on her completed schooling?

I had two cokes and a mineral water, and a nice joke with the waitress at the restaurant about it. I realized as I walked in the cold night air, remembering so many drunken walks at this time of night, that this was much better.

It isn't an easy path. I'll keep going.

I have many questions and troubles ahead. I will take them on one by one. Today I am sober.

Best wishes to you all day one, or day whatever. We are in it together.

-kin

EDIT: Day 15

Jeni26

Morning all. This is such a great little group, I'm really happy to be here, thanks everyone.

Day 20 and I'm really looking forward to today (even though it's Friday and that was binge day traditionally!)

I'm meeting a friend for lunch at a health club and then we are having a massage. She's someone I used to work with and is the only friend (apart from those in AA), who knows all about my drinking. Should be great.

My AV is silent but I'm not complacent. I've got a couple of meetings planned for the weekend.

Pouncer...well done for fighting the beast. Post here when things get tricky and we can talk you down. I remember when I first got sober a few years ago...I was sitting in my kitchen with a bottle of red wine in front of me. I logged on to SR and I saw that one of my original classmates was online. I messaged him and he and I talked for a bit. He pretty much saved me from drinking that day and I won't forget it.

Have a great day everyone. We are in this together x

immri

Hi all, in a weird headspace today, seeing my ex always does that
Had a bath, did some guided meditation, ate some healthy food and checked in here though, feeling a bit better.

I have this app on my phone too that reminds me of things I should be doing, all sorts of things like check in here, read, clean, yoga, go for a walk, take a deep breath, check posture, everything! When I get anxious or depressed I tend to forget all those basic things so I find it really helpful and feel like I'm accomplishing something by checking things off, it's so good for days like today
Anyway, glad you're all here

Ps
Pouncer my supplements made me sick today too! I forgot to eat then was nearly sick so quickly ate a banana and problem solved. Hope you're feeling better now

secretary

Your words ring so true, NikTes, even though I've never thought of myself as an AA person, I'm thinking of go just to be with people who are sober. I know I've been alone along time in my marriage but drinking always gave us a common bond, which now we no longer have. I keep thinking "screw it, just drink with him!" but something stops me from that.

It seem that being sober is solving some problems but now facing reality is so depressing.

SpiritOfDjinn

Well need, addiction is cyclic in nature. I don't know how many "Day One's" I had. More than I care to acknowledge, that's for sure. I think I'd be safe to say it's happened to all of us. That whole "fun" or "relaxation" factor has gotten me a few times too. It's OK. You're here, which tells me that you obviously want to quit. Slipping up is just part of the process. You CAN do this. Just stick to your guns. You haven't lost the war, just one small battle. You haven't lost until you just give up completely.

SpiritOfDjinn

Yup! This exactly. Sometimes, facing reality sober feels almost as bad as the regret and shame of a severe hangover. I think that's how a lot of us end up drinking in the first place. To escape life. I'm not a big Charlie Sheen fan but there is a scene in an episode of Two and a Half Men that rung true with me in regards to drinking. Jake (his nephew on the show) asks him, "Well Uncle Charlie, if alcohol is poison, then why do you drink it?" Charlie looks away, takes a sip of whiskey and says, "Because there are things inside me that I want to kill." Yeah. That's me. But I've found that sober or drunk or hungover, these things will bleed through. Eventually, they catch up. At least when you face them sober, you are 100% in control of how you react. In fact, you're in the optimal position to deal with these things. You got this! Keep going. "Just keep swimming." LOL.

secretary

absolutely.

Bobcat17

I know if a bunch of old drinking buddies from my past showed up at my front door, it would be very difficult to resist those temptations. So far with sobriety, I have been able to minimize social contact, but I don't entirely want to live my life that way. It is something I am still working through. But I just wanted to say I can completely relate to this post.

Bobcat17

40 days and 40 nights....

I think that is in Scripture somewhere, although I'm not sure where. I have now passed that mile marker on my journey and still going forward on the road. Glad I decided to take the trip....we 'March on Forward' through April.....