Class of March 2015 Part 4
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by immri 
Thanks so much for all the support guys, I just got to work without stopping for a bottle of vodka like I wanted too.
Depressed Marchers who like to eat - I was losing weight, but recently have been overeating in an attempt to "get comfortable." That is no long term strategy--for obvious reasons!
Though depressed and uncomfortable, it all still comes down to that I need to get through today without drinking. I believe that is not impossible.
Mel
love is the answer
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 1,352
Was in a bit of a funk this morning but I just watched this and feel better now :-D
https://youtu.be/8XFBUM8dMqw
https://youtu.be/8XFBUM8dMqw
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Thanks Dee,
The change in my plan, as compared to a year ago, is to check in daily to SR. Checking in with my other social circle still feels like a recipe for relapse. Apart from SR, I am in social limbo.
Frankly, I am enjoying the solitude, which has made space for a much desired but time-consuming transition in my work.
Mel
The change in my plan, as compared to a year ago, is to check in daily to SR. Checking in with my other social circle still feels like a recipe for relapse. Apart from SR, I am in social limbo.
Frankly, I am enjoying the solitude, which has made space for a much desired but time-consuming transition in my work.
Mel
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Hi everybody. I've been working hard this week. Running out of time to procrastinate. Sorry I haven't been checking in as much as I would have liked. I've been missing my family! (You folks!) I hope everyone is doing ok. I have an event to host on Sunday -- so swamped with preparation. Trying to stay above water with the stress, but I'm managing - I think. Sending good vibes to you all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Hugs your way, immri. Your ex sounds like he has a serious case of gas-lighting. You're not horrible. Not a chance. You deserve all good things, especially now as we move forward.
Originally Posted by immri
Hi guys, sorry to post so much about all this but struggling tonight and don't want to keep posting threads in newcomers feel like I'm taking up too much room
Things have gone from bad to worse with ex, I think he's using again (pill addict) and is being really cruel now but then makes out like I'm the horrible one when all I say is that I'll get someone to drop off his stuff he left here and that I really wish him well etc. he's making me doubt what's real by twisting everything I say so he's constantly the victim, and telling me I'm a -(worst word you can call a woman..)- now that I'm sober but that I was 'normal' and kind before when I was drinking
I seriously feel like I don't know which way is up now, and thank god I don't have any alcohol in this house
Anyway the real reason I'm posting is because now I really, really want to drink. I'm home alone for another hour so I could, but I also really don't want to if that makes sense
I'm worn out
Things have gone from bad to worse with ex, I think he's using again (pill addict) and is being really cruel now but then makes out like I'm the horrible one when all I say is that I'll get someone to drop off his stuff he left here and that I really wish him well etc. he's making me doubt what's real by twisting everything I say so he's constantly the victim, and telling me I'm a -(worst word you can call a woman..)- now that I'm sober but that I was 'normal' and kind before when I was drinking
I seriously feel like I don't know which way is up now, and thank god I don't have any alcohol in this house
Anyway the real reason I'm posting is because now I really, really want to drink. I'm home alone for another hour so I could, but I also really don't want to if that makes sense
I'm worn out
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Hello Marchers! Just a quick check in / update. It's been a helluva week so far but I haven't been tempted to drink. I've taken to arguing with my AV. Shutting it down comment by comment. It seems to help.
I finally got my wife to agree to going full time vaping versus smoking but guess who went and bought a pack of cigs this morning... This guy... I'm a little disappointed but hey, one day at a time. I can do this. I just wish cigs weren't so damn hard to give up.
Hope everybody else is having a wonderful day. Stay strong Marchers!
I finally got my wife to agree to going full time vaping versus smoking but guess who went and bought a pack of cigs this morning... This guy... I'm a little disappointed but hey, one day at a time. I can do this. I just wish cigs weren't so damn hard to give up.
Hope everybody else is having a wonderful day. Stay strong Marchers!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Good to hear from you, Djinn. And great to hear you've been shutting down that AV chatter. Cigs are hard to give up. Truthfully, I smoked this week -- and I quit in January. I'm hoping it's just a blip. Believing...
Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn
Hello Marchers! Just a quick check in / update. It's been a helluva week so far but I haven't been tempted to drink. I've taken to arguing with my AV. Shutting it down comment by comment. It seems to help.
I finally got my wife to agree to going full time vaping versus smoking but guess who went and bought a pack of cigs this morning... This guy... I'm a little disappointed but hey, one day at a time. I can do this. I just wish cigs weren't so damn hard to give up.
Hope everybody else is having a wonderful day. Stay strong Marchers!
I finally got my wife to agree to going full time vaping versus smoking but guess who went and bought a pack of cigs this morning... This guy... I'm a little disappointed but hey, one day at a time. I can do this. I just wish cigs weren't so damn hard to give up.
Hope everybody else is having a wonderful day. Stay strong Marchers!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
Great job, Djinn! I had to let the vaping thing go, too. It is helping to keep me sober. Bird by bird, right?
So glad I dropped in today. I am up to my ears in deadlines and thought, 'nah...I'll do it tomorrow.' It is easy for me to get disconnected here, especially when it gets tough beyond the computer screen. I had about 4 short cravings today, but they were very brief.
Have you moved and found yourself driving to your old house because you are on mental auto-pilot? I drove up to my house today after picking up my kids from classes and found myself planning ahead for wine and booze stashes after I got in the door - like I was on auto-pilot. It was fleeting and it surprised me. I suppose I unknowingly thought about my drinking strategy each time I pulled up to the driveway - a reflex.
I did that once when I was a teenager. I had just got back from the funeral of my grandmother and something funny happened on the way back to her house, where there was a reception. I was very close to her. I remember bolting through the front door towards her room, excited to tell her the story and expecting to find her there, except, of course, she wasn't. I got out the first syllable of her nickname before my voice trailed off. I thought about that today because the person I used to be is no longer alive, either. It was like seeing a ghost and it bothered me quite a bit.
I am glad I took the time to come here, think about it and write about it.
I hope you are feeling better, immri. Great work, everyone. You guys are doing so well. Today has been a week since my toilet-breaking, disoriented and literal slip.
So glad I dropped in today. I am up to my ears in deadlines and thought, 'nah...I'll do it tomorrow.' It is easy for me to get disconnected here, especially when it gets tough beyond the computer screen. I had about 4 short cravings today, but they were very brief.
Have you moved and found yourself driving to your old house because you are on mental auto-pilot? I drove up to my house today after picking up my kids from classes and found myself planning ahead for wine and booze stashes after I got in the door - like I was on auto-pilot. It was fleeting and it surprised me. I suppose I unknowingly thought about my drinking strategy each time I pulled up to the driveway - a reflex.
I did that once when I was a teenager. I had just got back from the funeral of my grandmother and something funny happened on the way back to her house, where there was a reception. I was very close to her. I remember bolting through the front door towards her room, excited to tell her the story and expecting to find her there, except, of course, she wasn't. I got out the first syllable of her nickname before my voice trailed off. I thought about that today because the person I used to be is no longer alive, either. It was like seeing a ghost and it bothered me quite a bit.
I am glad I took the time to come here, think about it and write about it.
I hope you are feeling better, immri. Great work, everyone. You guys are doing so well. Today has been a week since my toilet-breaking, disoriented and literal slip.
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Day 37, nothing new. Work, then hit a 5:30 meeting. Going out of town with my son on Friday so won't be back to my meeting until Sunday. Guess that means I'll have to bug the crap outta my SR family for a few days. You're welcome.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Thanks for the ongoing support guys, happy to read you're all still trucking along
I'm a mess today and keep crying at work - not a good look but I hide it I think- really want to drink we have a function going on with plenty of wine which I'd get for free and no one would even judge because it's a networking work thing so totally acceptable agh
So sick of myself and my whining atm sorry but posting here helps and I don't know what else to do
I'm a mess today and keep crying at work - not a good look but I hide it I think- really want to drink we have a function going on with plenty of wine which I'd get for free and no one would even judge because it's a networking work thing so totally acceptable agh
So sick of myself and my whining atm sorry but posting here helps and I don't know what else to do
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Originally Posted by immri
Thanks for the ongoing support guys, happy to read you're all still trucking along
I'm a mess today and keep crying at work - not a good look but I hide it I think- really want to drink we have a function going on with plenty of wine which I'd get for free and no one would even judge because it's a networking work thing so totally acceptable agh
So sick of myself and my whining atm sorry but posting here helps and I don't know what else to do
I'm a mess today and keep crying at work - not a good look but I hide it I think- really want to drink we have a function going on with plenty of wine which I'd get for free and no one would even judge because it's a networking work thing so totally acceptable agh
So sick of myself and my whining atm sorry but posting here helps and I don't know what else to do
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
Immri-get home, please do not go to the function feeling the way you do. Wine and self-loathing are best of friends. Do not go there. Do not let yourself go down that path. Only you, repeat, only you control your feelings. Please, i do not know you personally, but you are here reaching out to SR and that shows you know somethings in your life needs to change. That change is in you, not them, you. you have the power of you.
I started reading this book today, 1/3 through and I had to stop and absorb it all. Oh yes, I am a co-dependant.
Originally Posted by Dee74
If you haven't read it, grab a copy of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It will probably be as eye opening to you as it was to me.D
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
You won't regret waking up sober tomorrow immri.
Wine won't help you deal with any of this - but a clear head will
You're a good person - time to kick all those who make you doubt that to the kerb
D
Wine won't help you deal with any of this - but a clear head will
You're a good person - time to kick all those who make you doubt that to the kerb
D
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