Class of February 2015 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Mets, I'm jealous! You have such fun upcoming activities. I love going to sporting events. The atmosphere, the sounds, the excitement are so infectious, even for sports I don't love. I'm rooting for the Badgers, but if they don't beat Kentucky tonight, then will root for Kentucky to win it all. And I am READY for baseball season to start!
And you are definitely giving your sober muscles a chance to get stronger. I really think that once you get one or two (or three, who knows) of the social situations behind you, things will get easier because you'll be used to it, and your friends will be used to it. Just keep in mind that there are generally two kinds of people who might encourage you to drink - those who don't have a problem with it and therefore have zero concept of how bad it is for those of us who do, and those who do have a problem and just want strength in numbers. Got to be firm with both (no room for indecision because they, and your AV, will pounce on it) - but I think you'll find that the vast majority of people fall in the middle.
I have been fighting something most of the week, and the last two nights sleep could be better, as I've woken up a couple times a night with a very sore throat. And then, uncharacteristically for me, I've kept myself up fretting about work. I'm usually very good about compartmentalizing. So I'm a little irritable today, and it's raining which doesn't help (but not snowing, so that does help).
Back to basketball, I'm watching a story on how they made the floor, from the logs to the installation. Yesterday at a place we had lunch, Duke's practice was on the TV at the bar, and they had spectators. Crazy how much attention this one tourney gets.
Overall I don't feel like drinking, so I'm grateful for that. Happy sober weekend all!
And you are definitely giving your sober muscles a chance to get stronger. I really think that once you get one or two (or three, who knows) of the social situations behind you, things will get easier because you'll be used to it, and your friends will be used to it. Just keep in mind that there are generally two kinds of people who might encourage you to drink - those who don't have a problem with it and therefore have zero concept of how bad it is for those of us who do, and those who do have a problem and just want strength in numbers. Got to be firm with both (no room for indecision because they, and your AV, will pounce on it) - but I think you'll find that the vast majority of people fall in the middle.
I have been fighting something most of the week, and the last two nights sleep could be better, as I've woken up a couple times a night with a very sore throat. And then, uncharacteristically for me, I've kept myself up fretting about work. I'm usually very good about compartmentalizing. So I'm a little irritable today, and it's raining which doesn't help (but not snowing, so that does help).
Back to basketball, I'm watching a story on how they made the floor, from the logs to the installation. Yesterday at a place we had lunch, Duke's practice was on the TV at the bar, and they had spectators. Crazy how much attention this one tourney gets.
Overall I don't feel like drinking, so I'm grateful for that. Happy sober weekend all!
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Hello Febbers,
I've been back from Europe a few days now. It was pretty hectic, fun and awful all at the same time. I am glad I did it, I grew from it, I learned and met some amazing people. I will never do it again, I learned I really dislike group travel with boozeheads and schedules messed up by people always being late. We almost missed our train to another country, had hungover people sleeping in guest lectures, highschool dramas, people hooking up and even drunk teachers.
I met someone in recovery - she noticed I wasn't drinking wine like everyone else and we chatted. That was cool because we also got along on other things and many times when the ladies wanted to just shop or sleep we went to museums and did other things to keep the experience going. It actually gave me a glimpse I might have needed - she was very active in AA. Has the AA friends and it was cool to do things without the drinks.
So let's see - Thursday was 5 weeks so let's see, 38 days now. I have been sleeping and bad mood since I got back because I'm exhausted and had to work straight away. I skipped out on Easter tonight. Which usually has drinking. I wanted to drink today - I don't get why. I think - habit, bored, tired? Easter? I just kept playing my tape so to speak. I distracted myself with my game for a few hours - I spent like $4.00 on it which is a lot less than buying drinks.
I know my biggest problem is just being tired and drinking won't help that. Just give me bad sleep and draw out the jet lag more.
I start a weight off contest next Thursday so I'm looking forward to that. Eating lots of candy beforehand haha. One thing I did do in Europe is walk a ton. Most people said they weren't going to do that and were glad they had desk jobs. I'm using as an opportunity to get back into my hardcore walking. I used to do about 1-2 hours a day - everyday without a miss. Lately it's here n there. I'm going to start again, it's relaxing.
Well, that's all from me tonight, happy sober Easter everyone!
I've been back from Europe a few days now. It was pretty hectic, fun and awful all at the same time. I am glad I did it, I grew from it, I learned and met some amazing people. I will never do it again, I learned I really dislike group travel with boozeheads and schedules messed up by people always being late. We almost missed our train to another country, had hungover people sleeping in guest lectures, highschool dramas, people hooking up and even drunk teachers.
I met someone in recovery - she noticed I wasn't drinking wine like everyone else and we chatted. That was cool because we also got along on other things and many times when the ladies wanted to just shop or sleep we went to museums and did other things to keep the experience going. It actually gave me a glimpse I might have needed - she was very active in AA. Has the AA friends and it was cool to do things without the drinks.
So let's see - Thursday was 5 weeks so let's see, 38 days now. I have been sleeping and bad mood since I got back because I'm exhausted and had to work straight away. I skipped out on Easter tonight. Which usually has drinking. I wanted to drink today - I don't get why. I think - habit, bored, tired? Easter? I just kept playing my tape so to speak. I distracted myself with my game for a few hours - I spent like $4.00 on it which is a lot less than buying drinks.
I know my biggest problem is just being tired and drinking won't help that. Just give me bad sleep and draw out the jet lag more.
I start a weight off contest next Thursday so I'm looking forward to that. Eating lots of candy beforehand haha. One thing I did do in Europe is walk a ton. Most people said they weren't going to do that and were glad they had desk jobs. I'm using as an opportunity to get back into my hardcore walking. I used to do about 1-2 hours a day - everyday without a miss. Lately it's here n there. I'm going to start again, it's relaxing.
Well, that's all from me tonight, happy sober Easter everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Torn, sorry the trip wasn't as much fun as you'd hoped, but you stayed sober, and that's great.
Ready, Indy was fantastic. I'm a huge Duke fan, but have always liked the Badgers and I hate kentucky with a passion, so a great outcome. I also will wind up winning over $1,000 since I did two pools and picked Wisconsin in one and Duke in another, assuming that everyone would pick kentucky.
It's really satisfying lying in bed now having gone through the whole day sober. There's no alcohol served in the event itself since its NCAA, but I went last year in Dallas (I'm also a big uconn fan, so one of the few Duke/uconn fans out there), and I pregammed so hard and was just dying for booze during the game. It was actually kinda nice sobering up before that game ended last year, but it was just a huge relief walking around and checking out all the concerts and contests and what not while not working about getting enough booze in me yo stay buzzed for several hours.
I'll be here the next two days and will not drink, even if Duke wins and there are celebrations after. And if they lose, it was a fun season and it'll be time for bed.
Ready, Indy was fantastic. I'm a huge Duke fan, but have always liked the Badgers and I hate kentucky with a passion, so a great outcome. I also will wind up winning over $1,000 since I did two pools and picked Wisconsin in one and Duke in another, assuming that everyone would pick kentucky.
It's really satisfying lying in bed now having gone through the whole day sober. There's no alcohol served in the event itself since its NCAA, but I went last year in Dallas (I'm also a big uconn fan, so one of the few Duke/uconn fans out there), and I pregammed so hard and was just dying for booze during the game. It was actually kinda nice sobering up before that game ended last year, but it was just a huge relief walking around and checking out all the concerts and contests and what not while not working about getting enough booze in me yo stay buzzed for several hours.
I'll be here the next two days and will not drink, even if Duke wins and there are celebrations after. And if they lose, it was a fun season and it'll be time for bed.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1
Newcomer
Hi,
I recently came out of a 30 day inpatient rehab and am now in outpatient. I am married, a bank manager, age 45 and an alcoholic of 11 years (gastric bypass 11 years ago). I am now 38 days sober and have attended a meeting every day, planning on 90 in 90. I am currently in search for a sponsor, any advise would be great.
Looking forward to this support.
Thanks.
I recently came out of a 30 day inpatient rehab and am now in outpatient. I am married, a bank manager, age 45 and an alcoholic of 11 years (gastric bypass 11 years ago). I am now 38 days sober and have attended a meeting every day, planning on 90 in 90. I am currently in search for a sponsor, any advise would be great.
Looking forward to this support.
Thanks.
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Thanks Dee.
Yes the trip wasn't actually supposed to be a real vacation anyways. It was for school. I just was surprised how some people treated it as Spring Break 2015!! lol
So it was good, not all was bad.
Well I discovered Girl Scout cookies tea. So far yummy. Still so sleepy from jet lag. Hopefully that wears off early next week.
Yes the trip wasn't actually supposed to be a real vacation anyways. It was for school. I just was surprised how some people treated it as Spring Break 2015!! lol
So it was good, not all was bad.
Well I discovered Girl Scout cookies tea. So far yummy. Still so sleepy from jet lag. Hopefully that wears off early next week.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Hi all, I'm back from a quick trip to my sister's for Easter. It's about 2 hours west of me, and the drive there was fine, on the way back it was jammed with traffic and it didn't help that it was snowing. So over winter.
I am out of sorts because today I am having cravings. For no good reason I suppose, there was no alcohol served at the dinner. No drama, no issues. But I wanted a drink on the drive out there, basically forgot about it, and definitely wanted a drink on the way back. So I'm a little despondent. I hope it will pass, in truth it sort of already has. But I wanted to get it out there.
Mets, that sounds great! So glad you had/are having a good (sober) time. Isn't it unbelievable how much time was wasted in trying to make sure there would be enough to drink? Have fun, and hopefully the game is competitive.
Now I need to get myself ready for the workweek - good night all.
I am out of sorts because today I am having cravings. For no good reason I suppose, there was no alcohol served at the dinner. No drama, no issues. But I wanted a drink on the drive out there, basically forgot about it, and definitely wanted a drink on the way back. So I'm a little despondent. I hope it will pass, in truth it sort of already has. But I wanted to get it out there.
Mets, that sounds great! So glad you had/are having a good (sober) time. Isn't it unbelievable how much time was wasted in trying to make sure there would be enough to drink? Have fun, and hopefully the game is competitive.
Now I need to get myself ready for the workweek - good night all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Ready, yeah, definitely a lot more time in the day to enjoy when not worried about getting that next beer, planning bathroom breaks in a crowded stadium, hiding from other people I'd had to drink, etc
As far as your cravings, I had some similar ones last week and was pretty disappointed in myself as well. I kind of wonder if that's constructive at all. If I have a craving and don't act on it, that's good, right? I feel like beating ourselves up over having cravings isn't getting us anywhere. It's impossible not to have a thought (which is what a craving is), so while I wish the cravings would just go away, I don't see what can be done to stop them other than just staying sober longer and longer.
As far as your cravings, I had some similar ones last week and was pretty disappointed in myself as well. I kind of wonder if that's constructive at all. If I have a craving and don't act on it, that's good, right? I feel like beating ourselves up over having cravings isn't getting us anywhere. It's impossible not to have a thought (which is what a craving is), so while I wish the cravings would just go away, I don't see what can be done to stop them other than just staying sober longer and longer.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 207
Hi everyone,
Day 47 and I'm still hanging in there. I'm going through a sort of grief stage where I feel like I'm grieving the loss of an old friend. It's been hard to think of a life completely free of any alcohol.
The mimosa's were flowing all weekend for Easter celebrations and there was a point where I thought I'd give in. I had another moment today where I thought "why not" .. I seem to be too far removed from the bad things so I just have to step back and think through the realities.
I'm doing well - active, involved, etc. I just still feel like I'm missing that "friend". Hopefully this is just another phase to go through and i'll move on from the "loss".
Happy Monday to all and wishing you all a happy and sober week!
Day 47 and I'm still hanging in there. I'm going through a sort of grief stage where I feel like I'm grieving the loss of an old friend. It's been hard to think of a life completely free of any alcohol.
The mimosa's were flowing all weekend for Easter celebrations and there was a point where I thought I'd give in. I had another moment today where I thought "why not" .. I seem to be too far removed from the bad things so I just have to step back and think through the realities.
I'm doing well - active, involved, etc. I just still feel like I'm missing that "friend". Hopefully this is just another phase to go through and i'll move on from the "loss".
Happy Monday to all and wishing you all a happy and sober week!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
60, I too am at the phase where the anxiety/humiliation/embarassment of what happened during my last blackout is starting to wear off. I've settled up hospital bills and they weren't as bad as I'd feared (I fortunately have good health insurance), and while I haven't seen my neighbors or the nighttime doorman, I haven't been contacted by the condo board and asked to leave my building or anything like that.
That's all just stupid rationalization though, that last blackout was horrendous and it wasn't my first horrendous blackout. And I've had countless other bad blackouts that didn't end in hospitalizations, but we're still very embarassing and scary.
So yeah, with those feelings of embarassment no longer as acute, I do catch myself thinking "what the heck?" Or I think, "I'm on Day 47 now, I can control this if I need to and I'm only 29, so I'll just get it under control later."
I can't stop myself from having those thoughts, but I realize it's the AV talking.
I know that when I got 30 days sober last summer, I allowed myself to drink and the first few times went well, with just a major buzz, but no blackouts. It then progressed from there and I got hospitalized in October and then was drinking huge amounts in November/December (a little break in early January) and then bad in late January thru my hospitalization in Feb. Those few times of drinking in moderation last July were actually quite damaging I think as it was just an excuse I used that I could moderate.
Anyway, 60, I think your feeling are very normal and I've now gone through them during both my serious attempts at getting sober. Just keep staying strong and don't let your AV justify drinking.
Have a nice Monday everyone. For me, much nicer waking up on a Monday morning remembering 100% of the weekend and not dealing with this looming sense that I did something wrong and checking my phone/IMs looking for messages that I realy pissed someone off.
That's all just stupid rationalization though, that last blackout was horrendous and it wasn't my first horrendous blackout. And I've had countless other bad blackouts that didn't end in hospitalizations, but we're still very embarassing and scary.
So yeah, with those feelings of embarassment no longer as acute, I do catch myself thinking "what the heck?" Or I think, "I'm on Day 47 now, I can control this if I need to and I'm only 29, so I'll just get it under control later."
I can't stop myself from having those thoughts, but I realize it's the AV talking.
I know that when I got 30 days sober last summer, I allowed myself to drink and the first few times went well, with just a major buzz, but no blackouts. It then progressed from there and I got hospitalized in October and then was drinking huge amounts in November/December (a little break in early January) and then bad in late January thru my hospitalization in Feb. Those few times of drinking in moderation last July were actually quite damaging I think as it was just an excuse I used that I could moderate.
Anyway, 60, I think your feeling are very normal and I've now gone through them during both my serious attempts at getting sober. Just keep staying strong and don't let your AV justify drinking.
Have a nice Monday everyone. For me, much nicer waking up on a Monday morning remembering 100% of the weekend and not dealing with this looming sense that I did something wrong and checking my phone/IMs looking for messages that I realy pissed someone off.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Hi folks. 60, great job putting your AV in its place! Keep it up.
I'm feeling much better today, with respect to cravings. Mets you're right, why get down about thoughts?
I'm pretty tired tonight so don't have a lot to add. I just got home, will have some dinner then settle in for the basketball game. Go Badgers!
I'm feeling much better today, with respect to cravings. Mets you're right, why get down about thoughts?
I'm pretty tired tonight so don't have a lot to add. I just got home, will have some dinner then settle in for the basketball game. Go Badgers!
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