Class of February 2015 Part 3
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
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Yeah, went well watching with friends. A lot easier on a Sunday when there's less expectation of drinking. Some of my friends had a beer or two and it was a total non-issue that I wasn't drinking.
Overall, I feel pretty good, but it's still nagging at me that I didn't go out and have fun Friday and it sounds like it was a fun time playing a drinking game I like....I know I would have probably gotten drunker than anyone else that evening, but it is still on my mind. Staying at home by myself wasn't exactly ideal and had I gone Friday night, I think I 100% would have been tempted.
Overall, I feel pretty good, but it's still nagging at me that I didn't go out and have fun Friday and it sounds like it was a fun time playing a drinking game I like....I know I would have probably gotten drunker than anyone else that evening, but it is still on my mind. Staying at home by myself wasn't exactly ideal and had I gone Friday night, I think I 100% would have been tempted.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Hey there Mets - funny about those other folks who think nothing of having only one or two. They make it look so easy. I'm glad you had a good weekend.
All good here. I'm looking forward to a long weekend (we get Good Friday oddly enough). I love those.
All good here. I'm looking forward to a long weekend (we get Good Friday oddly enough). I love those.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Good morning everyone - it's a sunny, cold last day of March here. I'm ready for some nice weather, and by nice I mean warm. Sunday was so nice here, relatively speaking, and it feels like we're getting there (although yesterday it snowed for a bit, and this afternoon seems like it will again). Time to gear up for some discipline - increase my walking and cut down on my eating. I don't feel at-risk for drinking but taking it one day at a time. So here's to another 24 hours - and I hope the same is true for the other Febbers.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Assuming I stay sober today (I have a busy day and have completely removed the thought of drinking from my evening routing), this will be the first calendar month I've stayed completely sober since 2007.
I've felt a bit in a rut with my sobriety in terms of the social sode of things recently. Going to just give myself a small pat on the back when the clock strikes midnight on getting through March 100% sober. Even dug through the pharmacy to find alacohol-free NyQuil when I had a cold, even though that's never been a trigger for me.
My guess is I'll fall asleep before midnight....my sleep pattern is vastly improved since I've quit drinking. Far from perfect, but my nighttime medication seems more effective when taken regularly at 10:45-11pm vs some nights being hammered and some nights taking my medication.
Also waking up at a very consistent time, for me at least, between 6:00 and 7:15.
I know that if I go out and drink socially, I'll do something I regret, and then retreat to drinking at home alone and also use it as a stronger form of sleep aid. Still gotta work through the details of my sober social life, but it's really not that bad being sober every night after work or after work/class. Sure, I get bored and lonely and depression keeps popping up, but I'm not dealing with that crippling anxiety. Being bored stinks, but I've been watching plenty of junk on Netflix and YouTube and then getting lost on Wikipedia reading up on stupid facts. No, I'm not sitting on my couch laughing my arse off while drunk/high and watching late night comedy, but it's nice not having to go back the next morning and have to rewatch to remember what I was laughing at.
Almost April Febbers (already April in NZ)! First full calendar month sober.
I've felt a bit in a rut with my sobriety in terms of the social sode of things recently. Going to just give myself a small pat on the back when the clock strikes midnight on getting through March 100% sober. Even dug through the pharmacy to find alacohol-free NyQuil when I had a cold, even though that's never been a trigger for me.
My guess is I'll fall asleep before midnight....my sleep pattern is vastly improved since I've quit drinking. Far from perfect, but my nighttime medication seems more effective when taken regularly at 10:45-11pm vs some nights being hammered and some nights taking my medication.
Also waking up at a very consistent time, for me at least, between 6:00 and 7:15.
I know that if I go out and drink socially, I'll do something I regret, and then retreat to drinking at home alone and also use it as a stronger form of sleep aid. Still gotta work through the details of my sober social life, but it's really not that bad being sober every night after work or after work/class. Sure, I get bored and lonely and depression keeps popping up, but I'm not dealing with that crippling anxiety. Being bored stinks, but I've been watching plenty of junk on Netflix and YouTube and then getting lost on Wikipedia reading up on stupid facts. No, I'm not sitting on my couch laughing my arse off while drunk/high and watching late night comedy, but it's nice not having to go back the next morning and have to rewatch to remember what I was laughing at.
Almost April Febbers (already April in NZ)! First full calendar month sober.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 67
Someone asked how my not drinking is going. I said "uneventful". I don't have any cravings. My lifestyle hasn't changed really, except that I feel better and I am getting more errands and whatnot done. I'm sure the meds have helped tremendously. Still haven't started exercising, but the smoking has gone down.
It shouldn't be this easy. Maybe because I'm not in college or living with other people who drink. I go to work, I take care of my son, I hang out with his mom sometimes. That's about it. I had an old drinking buddy who's just like me move into town. He said "well good for you!" when I told him my deal. I dunno if we'll hang out or if I'll be able to stand him if he gets drunk and I'm sober.
I'm looking forward to next week to go see Swans. Man that singer and his lyrics really hit home when it comes to drinking. Probably go alone. I'll be fine, have some Cherry Coke's or something. Besides, my only reason for considering a drink is scientific curiousity in regards to the meds. I really have no desire to drink for fun at all. This whole thing has been easy. I feel guilty for that. I feel like someone would say "well then you must not have been that bad!"
I was that bad. I walked around with a huge shard of glass in my foot for 2 days because my hands were shaking so bad I couldn't pull it out. I've got scars and broken things to prove how bad things were. I have a stupid engagement ring tucked away because of it.
Do these feelings of shame and regret ever go away?
It shouldn't be this easy. Maybe because I'm not in college or living with other people who drink. I go to work, I take care of my son, I hang out with his mom sometimes. That's about it. I had an old drinking buddy who's just like me move into town. He said "well good for you!" when I told him my deal. I dunno if we'll hang out or if I'll be able to stand him if he gets drunk and I'm sober.
I'm looking forward to next week to go see Swans. Man that singer and his lyrics really hit home when it comes to drinking. Probably go alone. I'll be fine, have some Cherry Coke's or something. Besides, my only reason for considering a drink is scientific curiousity in regards to the meds. I really have no desire to drink for fun at all. This whole thing has been easy. I feel guilty for that. I feel like someone would say "well then you must not have been that bad!"
I was that bad. I walked around with a huge shard of glass in my foot for 2 days because my hands were shaking so bad I couldn't pull it out. I've got scars and broken things to prove how bad things were. I have a stupid engagement ring tucked away because of it.
Do these feelings of shame and regret ever go away?
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
H2SO4, I don't think you should feel guilty for the sober thing being easy. While I cannot speak from experience, my guess is that there will be times for you when it won't be as easy, so make sure you stay strong in those moments.
I know for me, I'm still very embarrased about things I did when drinking. Heck, I'm embarrased about stuff I did while drinking 10 years ago while in college. The more recent things stick out more, and while the shame/embarrasment is maybe dulling and less acute than 6 weeks ago, it's still there. I don't suppose it will ever fully go away, but I figure very day I'm sober and don't repeat my absurd drunken antics, I'm happier and happier about who I am as a person and then hopefully for me I can look back and just say that "I did lots of dumb stuff in my teens and 20s, but got through it and I'm a non-drinker now."
I know for me, I'm still very embarrased about things I did when drinking. Heck, I'm embarrased about stuff I did while drinking 10 years ago while in college. The more recent things stick out more, and while the shame/embarrasment is maybe dulling and less acute than 6 weeks ago, it's still there. I don't suppose it will ever fully go away, but I figure very day I'm sober and don't repeat my absurd drunken antics, I'm happier and happier about who I am as a person and then hopefully for me I can look back and just say that "I did lots of dumb stuff in my teens and 20s, but got through it and I'm a non-drinker now."
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
H2SO4 - I'm finding it pretty easy too, and I was *that bad* also. I've been down this road though, and the reason I joined SR and post daily is because I needed to make sure I was accountable to something when the craving hits and I'm not ready for it. I have found from experience that I can make a pretty persuasive case for having a drink, even though I know it will turn in to a binge pretty fast. So this is one way to make sure I'm ready for it. Mets is right, at some point it will get hard. Be prepared.
Shame and embarrassment - sure. Can we do anything about it? Not about those particular actions, but we can prevent new ones.
Good to hear from you guys.
Shame and embarrassment - sure. Can we do anything about it? Not about those particular actions, but we can prevent new ones.
Good to hear from you guys.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Thanks soberwolf!
A little while ago I remembered that I had a drinking dream last night. More specifically, a blackout dream, where I "came to" and remembered nothing of the party the night before. Which was a shame because it was apparently a who's who of various people from my past. They were all there in the morning and referencing how much fun we had and how great it was to get together. And I remembered none of it.
I decided to just get out of bed at that point.
A little while ago I remembered that I had a drinking dream last night. More specifically, a blackout dream, where I "came to" and remembered nothing of the party the night before. Which was a shame because it was apparently a who's who of various people from my past. They were all there in the morning and referencing how much fun we had and how great it was to get together. And I remembered none of it.
I decided to just get out of bed at that point.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
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Ready, I've had some of those drinking dreams too, where I wake up in a bit of a panic thinking "oh crap, what did I do last night?!" Then I realize I'm not at all hungover and I fell asleep watching Netflix. Then a huge sigh of relief and right back to bed.
She actually waking up from blackouts, I'd have that same sinking feeling, then rush to the bathroom for a multivitamin and some ibuprofen to reduce the hangover that was setting in. Then I'd take inventory of my phone, keys, glasses, jacket and wallet. Usually have to go through my wallet to make sure all my credit cards were there and it wasn't at all uncommon to find one missing. Probably left cards open with tabs at bars a dozen times. Sometimes I'd cancel out of embarassment rather than go back and pick it up.once that was done, I'd usually have to change out of my clothes and into my PJs and then get like an hour of sleep before I had to go to work.
Ugh, the dreams do stink and I hate that feeling of waking up with that anxiety, but it's 1,000 times better than waking up after an actual blackout, so I can live with this. I'm assuming those dreams will go away as sober time elapses, but who knows.
Anyway, getting into a good morning routine for me, so have checked in here, read a lot of posts, made some posts and am about to head to the gym before work. Need to bottle this feeling and remember to come back here and re-read when thoughts of drinking pop up. I'm on day 43, so now 42 days I've woken up with no hangover. Feels great.
She actually waking up from blackouts, I'd have that same sinking feeling, then rush to the bathroom for a multivitamin and some ibuprofen to reduce the hangover that was setting in. Then I'd take inventory of my phone, keys, glasses, jacket and wallet. Usually have to go through my wallet to make sure all my credit cards were there and it wasn't at all uncommon to find one missing. Probably left cards open with tabs at bars a dozen times. Sometimes I'd cancel out of embarassment rather than go back and pick it up.once that was done, I'd usually have to change out of my clothes and into my PJs and then get like an hour of sleep before I had to go to work.
Ugh, the dreams do stink and I hate that feeling of waking up with that anxiety, but it's 1,000 times better than waking up after an actual blackout, so I can live with this. I'm assuming those dreams will go away as sober time elapses, but who knows.
Anyway, getting into a good morning routine for me, so have checked in here, read a lot of posts, made some posts and am about to head to the gym before work. Need to bottle this feeling and remember to come back here and re-read when thoughts of drinking pop up. I'm on day 43, so now 42 days I've woken up with no hangover. Feels great.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
Welcome Frixion, and great job. We can do this, and could use all the help we can get. Mets, hangover free is great isn't it? Don't forget checking who you emailed or texted.
Just home from work, and having some dinner. I can't believe how much snow has melted. I used to think it would be July before it melted, but now it might be May
.
Three day weekend thanks to Good Friday. I'm ready for some R&R.
Just home from work, and having some dinner. I can't believe how much snow has melted. I used to think it would be July before it melted, but now it might be May
.Three day weekend thanks to Good Friday. I'm ready for some R&R.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 543
I didn't sleep that well last night, which is unusual for me when I'm sober but not unusual when I was drinking - sleep patterns were awful then and I was never rested. I found myself turning the TV on at around 3 a.m. Eventually I fell back to sleep (there's nothing interesting on at that hour, that much hasn't changed), but I did feel grateful that this is more of an aberration than a pattern. No drinking dreams that I remember at least.
No real plans today, although I need to do my Easter basket shopping today to bring to my sister's on Sunday. Maybe we'll go to a movie since it's a rainy day here (but warm, so I'll take it!).
No real plans today, although I need to do my Easter basket shopping today to bring to my sister's on Sunday. Maybe we'll go to a movie since it's a rainy day here (but warm, so I'll take it!).
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Hi Marcus, welcome to the feb group.
Have a nice sober weekend everyone.
I'm not really tempetbto drink at all this weekend, which is nice. Instead of meeting up with friends to watch the NCAA Final Four, I'm headed to Indianapolis for the games. A bit nervous I'll be tempted into a pregame beer, but know I can just say no. Since it's an NCAA event, they also don't sell booze in the stadium, which makes things easier.
I have plans out of town next weekend too (seeing the Mets in Atlanta before they come north for their first home game), but am starting to get nervous about some social events after that. I'm trying to just take it one day at a time, but keep fixating on how I'll stay sober at these upcoming birthday parties, bachelor parties and weddings.
Have a nice sober weekend everyone.
I'm not really tempetbto drink at all this weekend, which is nice. Instead of meeting up with friends to watch the NCAA Final Four, I'm headed to Indianapolis for the games. A bit nervous I'll be tempted into a pregame beer, but know I can just say no. Since it's an NCAA event, they also don't sell booze in the stadium, which makes things easier.
I have plans out of town next weekend too (seeing the Mets in Atlanta before they come north for their first home game), but am starting to get nervous about some social events after that. I'm trying to just take it one day at a time, but keep fixating on how I'll stay sober at these upcoming birthday parties, bachelor parties and weddings.
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