SpiritOfDjinn

Well, I'm praying that I can keep it rolling. I'd halfway lose my mind if I screwed up again. All the support and advice here has really helped me. A LOT! I'm beyond grateful to be a member of this group. My sincerest thanks to all of you!

needtostopthis

I have been avoiding this site all day because I feel so ashamed. I drank last night. I am just having such a hard time. It was 5 days sober this time. I am at day 1 again. I feel terrible today, horrible anxiety etc. I am having such a hard time doing this because (here come the excuses) my son is having so many issues at school, I feel like a failure at life, I have GAD, etc. I sometimes feel like drinking is my only escape from this hell. I know it is only making things worse, but it is so hard not to turn to alcohol when I have a really bad day. Plus yesterday I was at therapy and my doctor said he didn't think going to VEGAS was a good idea (hubs and I are going in April) He said it is a setup for failure. It just irked me. It made me want to drink, stupid as that sounds. Gah... what am I going to do? I am a mess. I true mess in every sense of the word.

Pouncer

So sorry need, you can get over this. I have done this many, many times before. I am actually going through it now. The self-loathing is the worst part, besides the sadness I feel for having disappointed my family and my children.

My advice: go to Yosemite, Disneyland, San Diego, Monterey...anywhere but Vegas. That sounds like a bad idea. If you lose a deposit, so what? At least you are staying sober.

Bobcat17

Day 12 today. Cravings have been kind of bad the past 24 hours or so and I've had lots of ice cream, soda, etc to deal with it. Still getting over a bad cold.

Bobcat17

That's an AWESOME story !!! Congratulations on the self-discipline also--not easy.

Stubbs16

Hey everybody,

Stopping by say hi. Congrats to all on their days! Awesome stuff here folks. To anyone who has slipped, or is struggling, keep on the course. We can do this.

I've been busy, but also not spending as much time online with recovery lately. As strange as this sounds, sometimes, the more time I spend thinking about not drinking, makes me more obsessed about it. Does anyone else feel this way? I'm focusing on not drinking, but trying not to let it be on my mind all day. Trying this new strategy. Whatever works.

Glad to see everyones posts, and welcome to the new members.
Dee, hope you feel better soon.

Keep on doing good guys!

Soberwolf

Morning Marchers have a nice sober friday

Spk soon guys

jazzfish

Checking in for the morning. Not doing so well and trying to get some traction again.

I hope everyone else is having great sober Fridays!

SpiritOfDjinn

As bad as you may feel, you still came back to class AND you were fully honest about what happened. It's a long and twisty road we walk to sobriety. I can relate. I've done the day one walk of shame many times. The good news is that you still want to quit. You haven't given up.

Don't ever be afraid to come here and tell us what's going on. We have ALL been there. I feel confident saying that no one here will judge you for your mistakes. You can do this! We are all here to cheer you on or to help pick you up when you stumble and fall.

SpiritOfDjinn

It really wasn't easy. I did take a good long look at all those shiny bottles under the bright lights. Felt a little bit of a pull too. But I shook it off, best I could, and went about my business. I'm just happy that I could do that for once. Now if I can just continue to do it every day, I'll really have achieved my goal.

SpiritOfDjinn

Keep digging! Where there's a will, there's a way and all that. Bad days happen, it's what you do with them that counts.

happytobealive1

Sorry to hear you're struggling, needtostopthis! It sounds like you're under a lot of stress right now. Try not to beat yourself up about having slipped. Research has found that dwelling on having failed actually sets you up to fail again, because you lose confidence in your own power.

Instead, thinking about your successes---5 days sober! that's a real win!---and the strengths that got you there will help you recover from this and move forward. We've all been there, or will be there at some point. It doesn't mean you're a mess, or stupid, or a failure.

What it does mean is that your struggles in life exceeded your current resiliency. The question is, therefore: how can you build yourself some more resiliency? Could you talk to someone (supportive friend/family member or therapist) about this? Is there anything you can do to make yourself feel like more of a success at life? For example, tackle that task you've been avoiding, take a step towards a goal, or even make a list of your past successes to remind yourself that you're doing ok.

And finally, finding a way to calm yourself without alcohol is crucial. This is the step I'm currently working on, so we're in the same boat! Because the association between alcohol and (temporary) calmness is cemented so strongly in your mind from years of repetition, other activities will probably not feel quite as effective yet. Hang in there! It may take a few tries to find a calming activity that feels good to you.

But remember, you can use that learning process to your advantage, also: by doing a soothing activity, and not resorting to alcohol, you strengthen the connection in your brain between the activity and feeling good. Thinking of things that you enjoyed before you started drinking may help you think of a few things to try.

Here's what's been working for me: deep breaths, looking out a window, painting my nails, watching TV, reading a book, exercising (especially running outside), spending time with friends, and taking a nap. What works for you? What have you tried so far?Have you checked out this page of ways to soothe yourself without alcohol?

Good luck! We Marchers still believe in you. I hope you have a better day today.

secretary

Don't be so hard on yourself, we have all been there. Dust yourself off and get back in the fight! You can do this. We have faith in you!

secretary

8 nights sober.

Went out for dinner again last night (I need to stop putting myself in these situations) and it was easier than the night before. But the server, who I know because I've gone to this place so much, kept trying to talk me into drinking. Really???? She kept saying - just one - that couldn't hurt, could it? HA - Just one, that's funny!

Have a good Friday, Marchers!

EHoll1421

Well done secretary super proud to be in your class! Today is my day 12 and I'm feeling better every day! Get a whole weekend w my niece and nephew which I'm excited about. That'll make the weekend a breeze! Hope everyone has a great Friday!

SpiritOfDjinn

Congrats on this whole thing! Eight nights is awesome. Fending off the offered drinks is HUGE! But, I can't help but think that perhaps you should avoid that place? I mean it's one thing if your server suggested it without knowing your situation and then took the hint when you said no. But to pressure you like that? That's a bit much. But you said no again and again which is phenomenal! You were tested and stood your ground. Good for you!

NikTes

This is wonderful news! You did it! And you can carry that new strength with you.

NikTes

Rooting for you, jazz! I hope you find the traction. Do whatever it takes, ok? Do something nice for yourself?

NikTes

Hang in there, bobcat! And feel better licketysplit! Please and thanks.

kelle96

I'm back again, I've tried so many times to do this and I hated AA..