One Year and Under Club Part 44
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
nymets86 massive well done to you on not drinking! Don't worry about watching your phone in the meeting etc these are minor little things that often get blown out of proportion in our minds, it'll all be forgotten in a couple of days just keep moving forward.
You should be proud of yourself getting through that sober you have my respect friend
You should be proud of yourself getting through that sober you have my respect friend
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi Unders
A year ago I began posting on this thread because I decided to quit drinking after realizing I was lucky to come to after a particularly messy night of drinking at one of my children's youth hockey tournament. Today I'm heading off for the last tournament of the season.
Last year at this time I had been trying not to drink for about the weeks. My toolbox consisted of SR on my phone. I felt bored and disconnected and jealous at events were I used to drink where people around me were drinking.
At the tournament last year my final trigger was being around friends who drank like I used to. If it was good enough for them why wasn't it good enough for me? So I ordered one glass of wine with dinner. I wasn't able to moderate that night.
When I finally was able to get my thoughts together the next day, I was desperate to stop because I had a spiritual sense for the first time in years that I may not be so lucky to come to the next time. What a gift that desperation was. It opened my mind to Dee's suggestion (which he shares with many people, over and over) to add more support to my recovery program.
I grew up listening to an uncle spout AA phrases and he didn't have any kind of life I wanted to emulate. But because of my desperation, I went to AA, where I actually paid attention to the similarities between me and the stories shared in the rooms. I took what I could relate to and left behind the rest.
I had always laughed off "codependency" as a self indulgent excuse invented to complain about life, but this time I took others' advice to look into books on codependency. I read with an open mind and let the parts I could relate to resonate with me.
Opening my mind to recovery, in those first small steps, set in motion a physical, emotional, and spiritual overhaul of my life that removed the toxic thinking and behavior that brought me back to drinking.
I still have work to do, but now, a year later, I'm packing for the final hockey tournament of the season. I'm looking forward to seeing some friends, watching the kids play, relaxing, and finding a couple things to do during my free time. What a far cry from a year ago when I was scrounging for comfort items to keep my spirits up while everyone else drank. This year drinking, avoiding drinking, and friends' drinking doesn't cross my mind. It feels nice to come full circle.
I've always shared openly the discomfort I've experienced getting to this point. I'm not sharing that to be discouraging to folks who are new at trying to stop. I'm sharing that to let you know that it's ok to feel that way, that you're not alone, that it doesn't mean you're going to drink. Part of change is getting uncomfortable. If you keep an open mind and keep working on your recovery, a good life awaits.
Monday I'll have 13 months sober. I've ditched toxic habits and people. I've met new people who've brought all sorts of color and texture into my life. I have motivation to do what I need to do and time to do what I want to do. And while I haven't been given any ND football tickets, I'm feeling peace and serenity most days while carving a path that feels joyous, happy and free!
A year ago I began posting on this thread because I decided to quit drinking after realizing I was lucky to come to after a particularly messy night of drinking at one of my children's youth hockey tournament. Today I'm heading off for the last tournament of the season.
Last year at this time I had been trying not to drink for about the weeks. My toolbox consisted of SR on my phone. I felt bored and disconnected and jealous at events were I used to drink where people around me were drinking.
At the tournament last year my final trigger was being around friends who drank like I used to. If it was good enough for them why wasn't it good enough for me? So I ordered one glass of wine with dinner. I wasn't able to moderate that night.
When I finally was able to get my thoughts together the next day, I was desperate to stop because I had a spiritual sense for the first time in years that I may not be so lucky to come to the next time. What a gift that desperation was. It opened my mind to Dee's suggestion (which he shares with many people, over and over) to add more support to my recovery program.
I grew up listening to an uncle spout AA phrases and he didn't have any kind of life I wanted to emulate. But because of my desperation, I went to AA, where I actually paid attention to the similarities between me and the stories shared in the rooms. I took what I could relate to and left behind the rest.
I had always laughed off "codependency" as a self indulgent excuse invented to complain about life, but this time I took others' advice to look into books on codependency. I read with an open mind and let the parts I could relate to resonate with me.
Opening my mind to recovery, in those first small steps, set in motion a physical, emotional, and spiritual overhaul of my life that removed the toxic thinking and behavior that brought me back to drinking.
I still have work to do, but now, a year later, I'm packing for the final hockey tournament of the season. I'm looking forward to seeing some friends, watching the kids play, relaxing, and finding a couple things to do during my free time. What a far cry from a year ago when I was scrounging for comfort items to keep my spirits up while everyone else drank. This year drinking, avoiding drinking, and friends' drinking doesn't cross my mind. It feels nice to come full circle.
I've always shared openly the discomfort I've experienced getting to this point. I'm not sharing that to be discouraging to folks who are new at trying to stop. I'm sharing that to let you know that it's ok to feel that way, that you're not alone, that it doesn't mean you're going to drink. Part of change is getting uncomfortable. If you keep an open mind and keep working on your recovery, a good life awaits.
Monday I'll have 13 months sober. I've ditched toxic habits and people. I've met new people who've brought all sorts of color and texture into my life. I have motivation to do what I need to do and time to do what I want to do. And while I haven't been given any ND football tickets, I'm feeling peace and serenity most days while carving a path that feels joyous, happy and free!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Glee, that is a beautiful post filled with joy and hope for the struggling addict. Call me crazy, but I do not see one iota of "telling" someone what to do to get sober. It is simply 100% your blood, sweat and tears...oops, I mean experience, strength and hope.
Things that you said were in many ways a spot on reminder to me of my journey. I walked into an AA room on 6/3/2013 physically a mess, emotionally unstable and spiritually bankrupt. In some indirect way I knew that it was going to take a lot more than not drinking to begin to mend the scared damage that alcoholism had caused.
Today; I can look back at that person I was and forgive him for what he did. I realize that the person that I am today, still flawed in many ways, is nothing...nothing like the active alcoholic that began this recovery journey.
I don't always, but the past couple weeks on occasion, when I start a share, I say, "Hello, I'm Carlos, a grateful recovering alcoholic." That sounded so corny to me when I heard others say that when I started in the rooms. Not any more though. The evening I first said it, it just came out...from my heart, I think? I'm living it every day in so many ways.
Early on I was told to take what I need and leave the rest behind...and some said to put the rest it on a shelf, maybe for another day. So many perceptions that I had at one time have been debunked through open-mindedness, willingness, humility and vulnerability. Character traits totally missing in the spiritually bankrupt addict I had become. I would have fought you tooth and nail over the simplest, most irrelevant, meaningless point...so silly - as I think back now.
Glee, again, thank you for that powerful post. It was a great way to start my day. I too have received many of the rewards in recovery to date, even getting my picture taken with the Notre Dame Leprechaun Mascot at their game yesterday
. Yet few, if any have been as wonderful as having cross paths with you, my sister from another mother...or father - who knows???
I could bore you further and explain how I was chosen to be in a Coke commercial that will be run during the final game of this NCAA b-ball tourney this year in a couple weeks...signed talent release and all - but why bother.
Hey, have a good one, Undies.
Carlos
PS: Met Man, good job yesterday. Stay your course...not only will things get better and easier with not drinking...all that other stuff becomes easier to handle too. Congrats!!
Things that you said were in many ways a spot on reminder to me of my journey. I walked into an AA room on 6/3/2013 physically a mess, emotionally unstable and spiritually bankrupt. In some indirect way I knew that it was going to take a lot more than not drinking to begin to mend the scared damage that alcoholism had caused.
Today; I can look back at that person I was and forgive him for what he did. I realize that the person that I am today, still flawed in many ways, is nothing...nothing like the active alcoholic that began this recovery journey.
I don't always, but the past couple weeks on occasion, when I start a share, I say, "Hello, I'm Carlos, a grateful recovering alcoholic." That sounded so corny to me when I heard others say that when I started in the rooms. Not any more though. The evening I first said it, it just came out...from my heart, I think? I'm living it every day in so many ways.
Early on I was told to take what I need and leave the rest behind...and some said to put the rest it on a shelf, maybe for another day. So many perceptions that I had at one time have been debunked through open-mindedness, willingness, humility and vulnerability. Character traits totally missing in the spiritually bankrupt addict I had become. I would have fought you tooth and nail over the simplest, most irrelevant, meaningless point...so silly - as I think back now.
Glee, again, thank you for that powerful post. It was a great way to start my day. I too have received many of the rewards in recovery to date, even getting my picture taken with the Notre Dame Leprechaun Mascot at their game yesterday
. Yet few, if any have been as wonderful as having cross paths with you, my sister from another mother...or father - who knows???I could bore you further and explain how I was chosen to be in a Coke commercial that will be run during the final game of this NCAA b-ball tourney this year in a couple weeks...signed talent release and all - but why bother.
Hey, have a good one, Undies.
Carlos
PS: Met Man, good job yesterday. Stay your course...not only will things get better and easier with not drinking...all that other stuff becomes easier to handle too. Congrats!!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Wow, Carlos! I don't even like basketball, but I'll have to tune in now! I'll speculate which one is you. Surely you will be the most effervescent guy on the commercial!
And I wholeheartedly agree, Glee--your posts are so full of real usefulness for the journey!
And I wholeheartedly agree, Glee--your posts are so full of real usefulness for the journey!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
There was a solar eclipse here this morning so I sat in the garden with a green tea and my Mjolnir pendant to see if the universe had any messages for me, the skies were just overcast enough so that I could see the sun directly without sunglasses on; A shimmering bright, pure white disc that gradually eroded, the fast moving thin veil of cloud made the increasingly slim bright crescent sliver of the sun appear to be shimmer. The usual twittering of the birds silenced and a calm, eerie, ethereal sense of peace enveloped me. The thin, wide arcing crecsent of the sun still bright enough to dazzle. It's also the spring equinox and a new moon today, in this celestial ballet we're all a part of today must hold some relevance I guess.
I spent the rest of the day training, really seeing some progress for my efforts and I find something about being in the gym very meditative and comforting, everyone there knows me and asks for my advice these days and I always feel like I'm part of a community there rather than just another meathead pumping iron. (Although I do pump some serious iron)
All of the above I couldn't do or enjoy if I was still drinking, just more reassurance that abstinence from alcohol is the right choice for me to make.
BoozeFree - Massive, massive congratulations on 9 months. Bravo!
Peace and strength
I spent the rest of the day training, really seeing some progress for my efforts and I find something about being in the gym very meditative and comforting, everyone there knows me and asks for my advice these days and I always feel like I'm part of a community there rather than just another meathead pumping iron. (Although I do pump some serious iron)
All of the above I couldn't do or enjoy if I was still drinking, just more reassurance that abstinence from alcohol is the right choice for me to make.
BoozeFree - Massive, massive congratulations on 9 months. Bravo!
Peace and strength
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
My dear BF, CONGRATS ON THREE QUARTERS OF A YEAR CLEAN AND SOBER.
My fav part of your post was your saying how grateful you are. Humility at its finest.
Any post womp plans to celebrate?
You are an inspiration to me and many on here.
Again, congrats!
My fav part of your post was your saying how grateful you are. Humility at its finest.
Any post womp plans to celebrate?
You are an inspiration to me and many on here.
Again, congrats!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Congratulations on 9 months sober, BoozeFree! I've been impressed watching you leap over challenges that were once obstacles. It su spring to see your willingness to change the people, places, and things in your life that led you back to drinking. I'm grateful to be sharing this journey with you!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
