Class of February 2015 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 207
Day 13! Wow.
Had some cravings tonight after work because I got out a little bit early and I used to think that meant I had to get booze and get straight some so I had extra drunk time. I made the choice not to go that route and instead went to the gym. Hoping to make the same choice tomorrow and the next day, etc. For now, another day down.
Had some cravings tonight after work because I got out a little bit early and I used to think that meant I had to get booze and get straight some so I had extra drunk time. I made the choice not to go that route and instead went to the gym. Hoping to make the same choice tomorrow and the next day, etc. For now, another day down.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Canberra Australia
Posts: 191
I lapsed week before last (back on day 9).
It was bitter sweet though as my wife found my stash and I came clear about this horrid secret I'd been keeping . She was great but we are very distant at the moment. I feel for her as I'm really ashamed about hiding it for 3 years. She said she will come around and I said I'll be right here when she's ready.
The strange thing about the relapse was after 20 or so days sober, with cravings on and off but nothing serious, I woke from a nap on Sunday and my mind had decided. There wasn't even a debate with AV. It was like they teamed up against me while I was sleeping .
The scary part was no trigger of warning. The comforting thing is I've come clean (although not voluntarily ) with my wife and it is even more important to stay sober. I can't disappoint her again. It's a very lonely household at the moment. Coming home to her and my 3 year old has become my new 'reward' to replace 2-3 bottles of wine every night.
Congrats to other Febs who were stronger than me.
It was bitter sweet though as my wife found my stash and I came clear about this horrid secret I'd been keeping . She was great but we are very distant at the moment. I feel for her as I'm really ashamed about hiding it for 3 years. She said she will come around and I said I'll be right here when she's ready.
The strange thing about the relapse was after 20 or so days sober, with cravings on and off but nothing serious, I woke from a nap on Sunday and my mind had decided. There wasn't even a debate with AV. It was like they teamed up against me while I was sleeping .
The scary part was no trigger of warning. The comforting thing is I've come clean (although not voluntarily ) with my wife and it is even more important to stay sober. I can't disappoint her again. It's a very lonely household at the moment. Coming home to her and my 3 year old has become my new 'reward' to replace 2-3 bottles of wine every night.
Congrats to other Febs who were stronger than me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 514
LittleBear - good luck. Adrenaline is a strange thing and may well get you through the interview (though the fact you have the interview means they already like you).
LastChance - sorry to hear you got so low but it sounds like your wife is behind you and she just needs to turn things over in her own mind. It's a huge step owning up to those closest to you.
LastChance - sorry to hear you got so low but it sounds like your wife is behind you and she just needs to turn things over in her own mind. It's a huge step owning up to those closest to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
60andbeyond, I had similar cravings. Knew I didn't have to be at work early today, and got out of class early last night. Would have been common for me to get hammered while watching the third period of the Rangers game. I passed the several liquor stores on my route home and while I thought about buying and felt a bit guilty, I know deep down I didn't consider going inside. I knew that if I did, I'd buy, get home, and get bombed.
Wound up just having some hummus and pita chips and sparkling water. Didn't detract from the night at all and now I'm awake at 6:45AM without a hangover and have plenty of time to do my homework before going to work. Usually, I'd be stuck having to do homework at work since I wouldn't be up this early had I not been drinking.
I'm finding that getting the drinking at home under control isn't as scary as I thought. The boredom at times kinda sux, just read here, watch YouTube/Netflix/etc.
The next couple social settings I have coming up are causing me some angst, but that's not for a little over two weeks, so I'm going to focus on getting to the first social event sober and then make sure I dig deep that day and remember how good a hangover free morning feels and how bad the mental anguish is after a night of drinking.
Well, Day 13 is underway.
Wound up just having some hummus and pita chips and sparkling water. Didn't detract from the night at all and now I'm awake at 6:45AM without a hangover and have plenty of time to do my homework before going to work. Usually, I'd be stuck having to do homework at work since I wouldn't be up this early had I not been drinking.
I'm finding that getting the drinking at home under control isn't as scary as I thought. The boredom at times kinda sux, just read here, watch YouTube/Netflix/etc.
The next couple social settings I have coming up are causing me some angst, but that's not for a little over two weeks, so I'm going to focus on getting to the first social event sober and then make sure I dig deep that day and remember how good a hangover free morning feels and how bad the mental anguish is after a night of drinking.
Well, Day 13 is underway.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,776
Last chance: well done. Not easy at all.
I can totally relate to what happened to you. It's like you are in a trance and all of a sudden drinking, no debate, no fight just there opening the bottle and drinking.
We are in full support of you.
I can totally relate to what happened to you. It's like you are in a trance and all of a sudden drinking, no debate, no fight just there opening the bottle and drinking.
We are in full support of you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Day 13 coming to a close. Hope everyone else had a sober day.
I definitely felt some temptation today. Similar to last chance and Galway, I know that once I make up my mind to drink, it's gonna happen. I don't think I've ever stopped en route to the liquor store or bar and stopped myself. And certainly once I've started, I'm not stopping. Got out class early the 2nd night in a row and passed a liquor store that was still open (usually closed when I walk by) and have to admit that I thought about it. Glad I didn't step inside.
I definitely felt some temptation today. Similar to last chance and Galway, I know that once I make up my mind to drink, it's gonna happen. I don't think I've ever stopped en route to the liquor store or bar and stopped myself. And certainly once I've started, I'm not stopping. Got out class early the 2nd night in a row and passed a liquor store that was still open (usually closed when I walk by) and have to admit that I thought about it. Glad I didn't step inside.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I know that once I make up my mind to drink, it's gonna happen.
You can too nymets.
There's a million little moments for example between thinking the thought, deciding, going out to buy booze, buying it, getting it back home and drinking it.
at any time in that process you can get off the rollercoaster - your AV may be mightily pissed off, but you really can choose another outcome
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Thanks Dee. Hopefully I can build up some sober time and be better able to stop impulses, even if it winds up with me having bought the booze. Better to pour it down the drain and waste the money than deal with the consequences.
Obviously want to avoid a situation where I've bought booze, but if it happens, I need a new mindset
Obviously want to avoid a situation where I've bought booze, but if it happens, I need a new mindset
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 207
Ending day 14. I think that means 2 weeks! Wild. It was a good day. It takes a lot less to get started with the day than it used to. I'm amazed at how my head is feeling - I guess I never knew how much of a fog I was constantly in. I'm liking this new feeling. I read somewhere in these forums where someone said they spent x amount of years drinking so they owed it to themselves to give themself just one year of sobriety. I love that idea. It is in the back of my head now and it's motivating.
It's interesting because I was having a horrible time focusing over the past 2 weeks but today it was getting easier. I felt like I was ADD even though I'm not. It made me think I had destroyed my brain and I would always be in that ADD state so long as I'm sober. It's nice to see signs that my brain is moving on. I can't wait to see how it feels 14 days from now.
Looking forward to the morning tomorrow. It won't hurt so much to get up early.
You guys are awesome thanks for being here!
It's interesting because I was having a horrible time focusing over the past 2 weeks but today it was getting easier. I felt like I was ADD even though I'm not. It made me think I had destroyed my brain and I would always be in that ADD state so long as I'm sober. It's nice to see signs that my brain is moving on. I can't wait to see how it feels 14 days from now.
Looking forward to the morning tomorrow. It won't hurt so much to get up early.
You guys are awesome thanks for being here!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 207
Oh and nymets86 - sparkling water and hummus sounds amazing. Serious! I found some show on YouTube called "Fat Doctor" in the UK. I somehow liked that they show the surgery. It's gross but fascinating. Maybe I can relate to the addiction even though mine isn't to food. Anyway.. I just wanted to tell you I am in the same boat. Lots of stuff out there to help with boredom. Hey go for a run next time you can't sleep!
Serious! I found some show on YouTube called "Fat Doctor" in the UK. I somehow liked that they show the surgery. It's gross but fascinating. Maybe I can relate to the addiction even though mine isn't to food. Anyway.. I just wanted to tell you I am in the same boat. Lots of stuff out there to help with boredom. Hey go for a run next time you can't sleep!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 315
Congratulations 60 and way to be strong nymets. Struggled a lot yesterday and I realized I was avoiding checking in, but I finally got on in the afternoon and I made it through the day sober. I may have to blow some work off today and catch up on posts because this evening is an early one, and like so many others, its the nights I'm home that are dangerous. Tomorrow will be 3 weeks sober and I'm determined to make it. I'm treating myself to a new pair of running shoes when I make it to one month. Now I just need the weather to comply a bit. Would love to head out for a run this evening, but our roads are an icy mess. Still, I have more daylight so maybe I can make it happen. Hope everyone is doing well and have a great sober Wednesday!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Time to start Day 14. Didn't sleep all that well last night, but again, I feel a lot better this morning than I would have had I been drinking and managed to get 8 hours of sleep.
Overall, feeling pretty decent today. Still haven't seen my neighbors or overnight doorman, but I'm not really as actively avoiding them. With the night doorman, it's more just that since I'm not out drinking, I'm not getting in at very late hours.
Overall, feeling pretty decent today. Still haven't seen my neighbors or overnight doorman, but I'm not really as actively avoiding them. With the night doorman, it's more just that since I'm not out drinking, I'm not getting in at very late hours.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
I'm in the double digits today. 10 days!
I feel great! But I must admit, I'm eating dessert more than ever now! Last night, we made cookies with ice cream and watched AFV as a family. We have also started eating dinner at the table again. That feels really good! I love spending time with my family instead of us all separated, eating dinner, and watching tv while I'm intoxicated and telling my loved ones I don't want to bake tonight, we can tomorrow! Then tomorrow, I repeat. But not anymore!
I feel great! But I must admit, I'm eating dessert more than ever now! Last night, we made cookies with ice cream and watched AFV as a family. We have also started eating dinner at the table again. That feels really good! I love spending time with my family instead of us all separated, eating dinner, and watching tv while I'm intoxicated and telling my loved ones I don't want to bake tonight, we can tomorrow! Then tomorrow, I repeat. But not anymore!
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