GroundhogDay

I had a stressful and exhausting day yesterday. I finally helped my sister clean her house. Yes, I felt triggered, but I did not drink. I reminded myself that drinking wasn't going to help the situation or make me feel better about it. Oddly, that little conversation in my head seemed to work.

gypsytears

Good for you Ground Hog.

We've been going to counseling for almost a year. I guess it didn't help .

GroundhogDay

Gypsy, at least you tried. You don't have to live with the regret of not trying.

Soberwolf

Congrats Groundhog

phoebe64

Hi All. Things are going okay. Had a very busy weekend with several commitments. Struggling, but I am okay. Overall, life is good, I just need ot be more dedicated to taking care of myself, in many ways. Sleeping right, eating right, and keeping sober. Nothing dramatic to say. Just in a very wishy washy place in life, on many levels. Working on it though. I have hope that some warmer weather, time outside with get me back into feeling more motivated. Think I have some chronic, low grade depression.

Gypsy, I am so sorry to read that you still have not heard from your partner in any meaningful way. It sounds like you have made great efforts to get counseling, and to try to work it out. I have also been very hurt by a broken relationship, where I was not treated respectfully. It is painful. Sorry you are going through this. Hugs to you.

GHD, I know how stressed you are to help your sister with the cleaning, and good for you for getting through it.

Hi to everyone else.

Dee, so many wise words today(well, always), in both threads where I hang these days. While directed at others, your wisdom has touched me today. Helps me to be more focused on why I keep trying to do this. Thank you.

gypsytears

Thanks Phoebe .

I broke down to a student before class because he knew something was wrong. And another older student I've known for a long time... Also knew something was really wrong. And my mgr saw me walk out before class crying on my way to get water. She knows what's going on, is sympathetic but yanno... I gotta keep it together. Not doing a good job of it.

I have my son at PT for his ankle right now, teaching in the same location soon. Really just want to crawl into bed and cry instead.

gypsytears

Panic attack again this morning & a little weepy still. That's improvement? lol

Soberwolf

im sorry Gypsy ((()))

gypsytears

Thanks Soberwolf.

Still no word from him... It's been a week now. Normal people don't say they'll see you at counseling, not show up, change the mailbox and disappear right? <sigh>

Dee74

No, they don't Gyps.

D

gypsytears

I'm sorry for asking the obvious. I'm all verklempt ova heah and questioning everything about myself, judgement, choices etc.

Soberwolf

Were here for you gypsy hang in there bud

phoebe64

Thinking of you Gypsy.

gypsytears

Broke my non crying streak that lasted all of 2 hours, filled in the boys counselor and lost it. Ugh!

Now I have to pretend I got it going on, happy yogi, teaching in a few minutes.

I hope one day I will be positive again and helpful to you classmates. Not drinking though!

gypsytears

I'm going to keep posting even if I'm the only one here. It helps my accountability. On my way to my early morning class. Going to meditate at a lake in my hometown & check mail, next class and then my drs appt. I hoping to get some relief for these panic attacks. Then, we are still scheduled for family counseling even though the counselor said if my partner wasn't participating then he saw no reason to come since the boys and I have a good strong family unit. That was 2 weeks ago though when he was here... I figure let him come and process what happened last week.

5 months today.

Dee74

I wasn't able to get Online today
Congrats on 5 months Gyps

D

gypsytears

Thank you Dee ❤️.

phoebe64

Gypsy, I am checking in daily. Just not much to say, personally. But here to support you in any small way I can.

I think it is good for you to keep the counselling session for today, like you plan to do. Never hurts to have someone listen, and to help the children.

I hope your doctor can help you with the panic attacks. They are awful. BTDT.

**********************************

Plugging along at life here. We did have some wonderful spring air yesterday, despite the filthy snowbanks that are still melting. Hit 64 degrees outside(F), and I ditched my jacket as I ran errands. Husband took daughter to a basketball game, so son and i were on our own. We went for frozen yogurt, to the library, then watched American Idol together. It was nice to have some time alone with him. I love my daughter immensely, but she can monopolize our attention, and son sort of shrinks into the background. I work hard at giving him time, but then she gets jealous. Oy! So, anyway, nice to have some natural time one on one.

I am also helping him have a little movie night with a few friends tomorrow night. Sort of reward after an insane basketball season for our daughter, where he got dragged to many games. That works out for her too, because she has a plan to do something at the high school, and will be out having her own fun. He will have the house to himself for much of the time his friends are here. Win-win.

Hope everyone is doing okay. It has been quiet here.

SDH73

Gypsy, hope your counseling session goes well. It's not a bad idea to keep up with that and get what you can from it.

I haven't posted in a couple of days. I've been reading but just feeling too blah to chime in. My mind is jumbled and I feel physically worn out. Feels like a hangover, if I'm being honest. No, I'm not actually hungover.

Hope everyone's having a good day.

gypsytears

I just saw him at a yoga studio I teach at, his office is at. He refused to talk to me. Said we don't have anything to discuss. Said he'd be at the house for counseling??? And he wants the counselor shown the video? I said I wasn't planning on it. For what ulterior motive? He said you always think I have ulterior motives. When I asked to talk about the house, he said there's nothing to talk about.


Sorry you're Blah SHD. I wish I was.