Class of December 2014 Part 8
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,344
Class of December 2014 Part 8
Live easy but think first
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Sonoran Desert
Posts: 480
Such beautiful words at 60 days G! Loved it!
Back from the movie. Pretty powerful. Just kinda sitting with it.
The guy I went to see the movie with is my best friend's husband. I'm trying so hard, guys, but I cannot stand this dude. The way I get spun out by him... So frustrating.
My sponsor says "If it's hysterical it is likely historical." I always take that to mean that if my reaction is severe, it probably has more to do with the past than the present moment. I think that's true for me in this instance.
Feel like sharing this so just going to step out on the ledge here and hope for the best:
I was a missionary in S. Africa for years. I was part of a fundamentalist church, Pentacostal. I wasn't raised in this church, I found it at the age of 18. And I was all in!
A much too long for right now series of events happened and I was publicly disfellowshipped. Shunned. It was due to being LGBT. It was devastating. I lost my job, my friends, my faith. The minister prayed a prayer that I would be handed over to Satan that I would suffer much in this life and may return to God. Shattered me.
I have gradually rebuilt much of this and have reconciled much of what happened with my current life. I have my own faith, I have worked through much of that rejection. I do harbor a ton of resentment against a bunch of those folks, but that is getting better with time.
Enter the dude I hung out with today. His relationship with my best friend was a whirlwind. They married within months of dating. I officiated their ceremony. He is a Christian of the variety I experienced shunning from. He assured me that he does not believe as the church who disfellowshipped me believes (gay=hell). I believed him.
Then he married my best friend and things changed. He has done and said some pretty rough stuff in relation to me. I am a peacemaker and keeper so I have overlooked most of it. Now, though, it is getting tough. He makes statements that are condescending and pretty ignorant. Post movie today he launched into a lecture type talk about a very minor moment in the movie in which one soldier is teasing another about being gay. It was a funny moment. It didn't offend me... He, though, felt the need to basically lecture me on the different types of people in the world. So weird. I couldn't get away fast enough.
It's like he has to bring up something about LGBT anytime we are together and just let me know where he stands. He's pretty dominating and it spins me out.
Anyway, I honestly wanted a drink after this so thought I needed to get all that out. There's a lot of resentment on my end toward him and I keep sweeping it under the carpet when in reality it is just eating at me.
Blah. Blech... Forgive the rant. And hopefully I didn't over share...
Love,
Dax
Back from the movie. Pretty powerful. Just kinda sitting with it.
The guy I went to see the movie with is my best friend's husband. I'm trying so hard, guys, but I cannot stand this dude. The way I get spun out by him... So frustrating.
My sponsor says "If it's hysterical it is likely historical." I always take that to mean that if my reaction is severe, it probably has more to do with the past than the present moment. I think that's true for me in this instance.
Feel like sharing this so just going to step out on the ledge here and hope for the best:
I was a missionary in S. Africa for years. I was part of a fundamentalist church, Pentacostal. I wasn't raised in this church, I found it at the age of 18. And I was all in!
A much too long for right now series of events happened and I was publicly disfellowshipped. Shunned. It was due to being LGBT. It was devastating. I lost my job, my friends, my faith. The minister prayed a prayer that I would be handed over to Satan that I would suffer much in this life and may return to God. Shattered me.
I have gradually rebuilt much of this and have reconciled much of what happened with my current life. I have my own faith, I have worked through much of that rejection. I do harbor a ton of resentment against a bunch of those folks, but that is getting better with time.
Enter the dude I hung out with today. His relationship with my best friend was a whirlwind. They married within months of dating. I officiated their ceremony. He is a Christian of the variety I experienced shunning from. He assured me that he does not believe as the church who disfellowshipped me believes (gay=hell). I believed him.
Then he married my best friend and things changed. He has done and said some pretty rough stuff in relation to me. I am a peacemaker and keeper so I have overlooked most of it. Now, though, it is getting tough. He makes statements that are condescending and pretty ignorant. Post movie today he launched into a lecture type talk about a very minor moment in the movie in which one soldier is teasing another about being gay. It was a funny moment. It didn't offend me... He, though, felt the need to basically lecture me on the different types of people in the world. So weird. I couldn't get away fast enough.
It's like he has to bring up something about LGBT anytime we are together and just let me know where he stands. He's pretty dominating and it spins me out.
Anyway, I honestly wanted a drink after this so thought I needed to get all that out. There's a lot of resentment on my end toward him and I keep sweeping it under the carpet when in reality it is just eating at me.
Blah. Blech... Forgive the rant. And hopefully I didn't over share...
Love,
Dax
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 242
Hey y'all! I survived the cookout! It was very nice, with perfect weather. I had one nephew try to coerce me into having a bloody mary, because I love his bloody mary's. But I said no. Everyone else was drinking beer, which didn't appeal to me at all. I stuck with water and coffee.
I'll be starting my new/old job tomorrow, so I won't have as much free time. I'll try to check in at least once a day. I miss following along with the every day goings on of my little SR family.
I hope everyone is doing well!
I'll be starting my new/old job tomorrow, so I won't have as much free time. I'll try to check in at least once a day. I miss following along with the every day goings on of my little SR family.
I hope everyone is doing well!
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Dax...I'm wondering if you can just limit the time you spend with this guy? You don't have to subject yourself to 'lectures' or bigotry or just uncomfortable-ness! I think it's great that you want to be supportive of your friend by hanging out with the husband, but it's coming at a risk to your sobriety and that isn't cool! You've got other people to hang out with that don't jeopardize your sobriety. Stick close to them! 
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,344
Bigotry and prejudice in any form infuriates me Dax, but especially when it's uttered in the name of God.
You are very clearly one of God's Children...and fie poo and pox on anyone who disagrees with that
D
You are very clearly one of God's Children...and fie poo and pox on anyone who disagrees with that
D
Ya**!
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada! wtf eh?
Posts: 1,123
Sunking i loved what you said!! That's the best thing about fishing my man, just seems to make things click!
Dax, **** that guy. If he doesn't contribute to your life in a positive way, i don't see a reason to stress about him.
Dax, **** that guy. If he doesn't contribute to your life in a positive way, i don't see a reason to stress about him.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
Oh Dax I hate that there is so much bigotry in this world. Maybe instead of being a peacemaker you should let him know how you feel. I abhor hypocrites "Christians" with no tolerance. I was born and raised Catholic so trust me I have seen my share of hypocrisy. Know that those who love you really love you for your heart and soul and screw the rest.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
And Dax, I just want to say how very sorry I am that you were subjected to that kind of abuse. The more I think about it the madder it makes me! What morons! Wish I could just beat em over the head with a frying pan!! Grrrrrr!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Northern Illinos
Posts: 1,757
Dax, I am so sorry that you had to be subjected to that a**. sharing here and protecting your sobriety is a win. The story of how that "church" treated you makes me want to cry. Shame on them. I am so privileged to have you as a brother. Your wisdom and strength are inspirational.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Northern Illinos
Posts: 1,757
Shannon, I am glad your cookout went well - pesky nephew and all.
We will miss your check ins during the day - keep us posted on how the new/old job goes.
Brynn and Della, I got your back and if need be I'll give that a** a knuckle sandwich myself.
We will miss your check ins during the day - keep us posted on how the new/old job goes.
Brynn and Della, I got your back and if need be I'll give that a** a knuckle sandwich myself.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,806
I second, third, and fourth what everyone else said, Dax. You don't need that crap in your life.
I had a great day of shopping and laughing with my friend. It was so nice to get out and about. I didn't buy much, except at Costco. I can never get out if there without spending more than I wanted to. But hey - now I have enough toilet paper to last 6 months.
I had a great day of shopping and laughing with my friend. It was so nice to get out and about. I didn't buy much, except at Costco. I can never get out if there without spending more than I wanted to. But hey - now I have enough toilet paper to last 6 months.
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