GroundhogDay

Good morning! I'm 16 days sober now, usually a dangerous point for me. Not feeling like I am going to relapse, but I know from previous experience it can sneak up on me.

he19me

Good morning. Checking it. Today is day ONE for smokes. They were my support. I think its time to kick that habit as well.
Will be a busy day. Have to pack my cube at work, moving to a new one. Had been in this for almost 5 years.

toooldfratguy

Feeling great today. Woke up early, worked out hard, now at work trying to kill it. This is despite the crappy, crappy Atlanta weather we've been having for a week. Have a great day everyone

Applekat

Checking in! Day 47.

Hope our missing members are well. I think of you often!

Baby appears to be hanging on still so that is great. Complicated pregnancy is new for me. It's like it's karma...!!

Magellan

Hi all, I took alittle break, just was tired of thinking about sobriety all the time, not that I drank the entire time, I actually strung together 6 days, since my "epiphany" last Thursday about asking the AV why alcohol makes things better. I'll fess up that I drove home yesterday and the AV was at me and I asked the question, the answer was "it just will" so I had a glass of wine and it wasn't, almost a vinegary taste so I switched to my cranberry and club soda. The last week I was just thinking about the last ten years, since we adopted our daughter, and wondering how much did I miss or how much better of a Dad I could have been. The years of drinking prior to kids I really don't care about, not much is wrong, I married a beautiful woman (inside & out) my college sweetheart, bought houses, vacationed, advanced my career, etc. etc. so those drinking days are what they are, but the post kids drinking days are the ones that have occupied my mind, I'm not a sloppy, abusive, crazy drinker, but it just occupied time that could've been better spent. A report card on parenting does not come due until way later in life when the kids are out of the house and on their own and by that time it is too late to change anything. So I guess I was just in a reflective mode this week, more mad at myself for being wasteful, I've tried thinking about Emerson's ...finish every day and be done with it, you have done what you could, some BLUNDERS & ABSURDITIES (that's for sure ) and he ends with This day is all that is good and fair, it is to dear ....to waste a moment on yesterday's. It is just difficult to let it sink in. God helped me on Sunday though, I was going to workout and started writing in my workout journal.... am workout, etc. etc. then at the bottom of the page I always write "thank you God for my 3 girls, I love them, please help me be a better husband & father today" my 10 year was sitting next to me and hugged me and told me I was the best Dad, so I guess I should listen to my daughter and not this stupid inner voice telling me I am F'd up
I read back a bit, sounds like we are all doing well, accumulating many, many days. No word yet on MM and the baby. I'm on the tricycle to Josharon.(let's think green days-I think I have 2 red/12 green so far in January) Gypsy, glad you are up and about again, don't push it too hard. Applekat hope everything is okay with the peanut
UBN - still going strong. I know I missed a bunch, but need to get back to work.
Stay strong everyone.

gypsytears

Argument before counseling and the session itself did not go well. I'm sorry not to address you all, but can't see through my own pain right now.

11Stars

Checking in - day 76 here. Glad to see lots of people doing well. I think it helps that lots of people who "don't have drinking problems" don't drink in January. Everyone's sober! LOL.

I've been keeping up with the board but not a ton to announce. Family doing well. Lots of together time with hubs and kids. Started a HiiT workout routine. Both kundalini, strengthening yoga, meditation back in place. Very helpful for anxiety, anger etc. What I've noticed: deep deep sleeps, clarity is really coming through now with my day to day. The last few day my emotions are still strong but reacting to them is feeling more like a choice. There are feelings every few days of anxiety, boredom, frustration, that make me think that a good drink or several would take care of nicely. But I'd still have all those feelings and shoving them down would just have them rear their heads more strongly later. Also, something to consider: I am feeling very mortal. I don't want to spend the rest of my living days in a fog. Grateful that I am not for these days.

xoxo

11Stars

Gyps - been there. Hate those sessions. Hugs to you.

11Stars

Good to hear - Keep us posted!

PickleMan

November 13th, 2014

Dee74

good to have you back Magellan
You too PickleMan - how goes it?

(((Gyps)))

D

angd1978

54 days and people are annoying me today! I think I will finally hit up the gym since I have had my membership for 5 days and not gone yet. Time to blow off some steam! Hope ya'll are having a great day!

gypsytears

Glad you're back Magellan. Missed your post before.

Arrived home this evening about the same time as my partner. Thinking I would try and have a better night than day, I knocked on his car window and asked if he needed help carrying anything in. His reply was that I was trying to break his window or something to that effect. WTF! I was kinda quiet after last weeks session which is very unlike me and I got blasted for that today. Apparently he can institute the silent treatment after an attack, back off when he's caused upset and call it needing space or time to process but I did it maliciously? We've already had some words and I feel done. Really tired of this, Yes, I contemplated drinking today. Eff it, it wouldn't hurt anything when everything sucks already.

Dee74

It would hurt you tho, Gyps - and that's the main thing here, yeah?.

It wouldn't change anything either - not for the better - just more ammo for arguments against you.

I'm sorry your guy is being so obstructive to communication. I hope he's thinking about this as much as you are.

D

PS don't make me break one of these out Gyps... lol

Magellan

This is an emergency log in..
Gypsy don't do it! It isn't worth it!
Also, you and a few others are keeping me motivated by your resolve, selfishly don't falter...I know that is a lot of pressure, sorry, can't type more, on a break from a dance recital.

Jsbodhi

Just a quick drop in for gypsy!
Don't drink, it'll be such a disappointment, take it from the relapser here ;-) it doesn't help and its not fun, also, the day after, back to day 1 is torture.
Xoxo

Applekat

Gypsy - remember - we promise - you won't regret NOT drinking tomorrow morning. Best thing is to take the mood to bed. After a bowl of ice cream, too!

gypsytears

Awww man! You always know just what to say DeeDee!

Thank you, of course you're right. All of you, jsbodhi, thank you for the support. I did not drink. I did want to share that I was thinking about it though... Keeping things inside is usually the fertilizer of bad ideas Eh? Yup Applekat, won't regret not drinking sweetie.

Don't worry Magellan. I will wake up tomorrow with day 82 on my horizon, along with teaching one class and taking my beautiful 19 year old (to be) daughter out for lunch. Thank you for the emergency post. I do appreciate it!

Soberella66

Day 1 -again- today. Gypsy, if you how I felt right now, please know it isn't worth it! Hangover, Another Day 1, feeling gross...yuck.
I went to a meeting today and that helped. Now if I could just KEEP going!

Soberella66

Just now read your post Gypsy! Yay!