Class of December 2014 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
FABL- (((hugs))) I don't know what to tell you but you deserve better then being a option to him. He isn't worth drinking over.
It sounds like there is a lot of things in your life right now that is out of your control. Like his decisions and your dads cancer. Just keep making good decisions on the things that are in your control and take it one day at a time. I would give God the rest. hth's
It sounds like there is a lot of things in your life right now that is out of your control. Like his decisions and your dads cancer. Just keep making good decisions on the things that are in your control and take it one day at a time. I would give God the rest. hth's
Ya**!
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada! wtf eh?
Posts: 1,123
Oh Fable, I'm really sorry. We are all here for you.
And you don't sound pathetic or selfish at all. Life doesn't stop for anything and unfortunately has a habit of piling up at the worst times.
What's wonderful is that you're still making progress in spite of this.
You already know what the other option leads to. Stay close to us today and keep sharing your thoughts.
What I've found in these situations is a good exercise of being brutally honest with ourselves and asking two questions.
1 - What was I hoping to get out of this situation? What was I longing for?
2 - Realistically, what will the end result most likely be?
For me, it's really helped ease past some painful relationships. Just trying to throw out ideas, sorry if it's not helpful.
And you don't sound pathetic or selfish at all. Life doesn't stop for anything and unfortunately has a habit of piling up at the worst times.
What's wonderful is that you're still making progress in spite of this.
You already know what the other option leads to. Stay close to us today and keep sharing your thoughts.
What I've found in these situations is a good exercise of being brutally honest with ourselves and asking two questions.
1 - What was I hoping to get out of this situation? What was I longing for?
2 - Realistically, what will the end result most likely be?
For me, it's really helped ease past some painful relationships. Just trying to throw out ideas, sorry if it's not helpful.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
FABL- I know what I said about trying to let go of things that aren't in your control isn't easy. When my dad got diagnosed with lung cancer I started grieving for him immediately ...I know it sounds weird but that might be what your doing too. Big hugs!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Thank you thank you thank you. Your responses (and your Pm Mariah ..) are giving me what I need right now. It is so hard to ask for help, but desperation humbles us. I cannot stop crying or pull myself out of bed but I will. I have to.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Wow Tonks, I just re read those 2 questions. Really made me be honest With myself but also painful as hell.
I have to be honest, this past month I have been looking for quotes and guidance regarding this relationship situation and kept stumbling across things I didn't want to "see".. About letting go, about toxic relationships, walking away, make room for better things in your life- but I scrolled right away from them .. No! That's not what I wanted. I wanted happily ever after stuff.
And my dream last night... More of a premonition... In my dream he told me he was taking a trip with her and I was devastated. I just realized that. Wow.
I have to be honest, this past month I have been looking for quotes and guidance regarding this relationship situation and kept stumbling across things I didn't want to "see".. About letting go, about toxic relationships, walking away, make room for better things in your life- but I scrolled right away from them .. No! That's not what I wanted. I wanted happily ever after stuff.
And my dream last night... More of a premonition... In my dream he told me he was taking a trip with her and I was devastated. I just realized that. Wow.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Oh Midwest ... Yes, I have been grieving for my dad since the doctors visit just before Christmas. He is my idol, my hero, my daddy. My best friend of 30 years died if cervical cancer 18 months ago and seeing her at the end of her life was heartwrenching. The idea of my father looking and living like that is unbearable to me.
Yes, I need to take care of myself. And I need to show my girls it's ok to cry and fall apart, but we need to pick ourselves up and get through it, not drink ourselves into oblivion.
Yes, I need to take care of myself. And I need to show my girls it's ok to cry and fall apart, but we need to pick ourselves up and get through it, not drink ourselves into oblivion.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 884
Erin- I'm glad you are still here and trucking along. I'm hoping this will be a turning point for you and things will start just continue to get better.
Way to go on 30 days guys. This is an incredible milestone. I hope you guys will take some time and just admire yourselves for how far you have come. This is no easy feat. You should be very proud. I am proud of you as well.
fabl- You know drinking won't make this any better. I know you are facing many mountains at the moment. I have heard that God gives incredible hardships and challenges to those who are strong enough to overcome them. You have already shown to us just how resilient and strong you are. You just need to believe that about yourself. Never feel bad for posting. We are here to listen to the good, bad, ugly, and whatever else may come along. Carbon must endure tremendous pressure to become the diamond it can be. My thoughts are with you. Please don't drink. Love and hugs.
Congrats Della on 3 weeks! You're doing beautifully.
Hi Dax and Midwest and JL! It's great to see you posting.
Brynn- I don't know where to start. Since you started your sobriety journey you have been a beacon of light, an unshakeable force, and an inspiration to so many. I know you must be hurting and I would take your pain away if that were possible. I know this won't break you though. You have done remarkable things since you first began. Things a lot of us would not have been able to do. You truly are a treasure and in time I believe you will find someone deserving of you. Thank you for sharing your struggles and your victories. You're kind of like my sober role model. Thanks for being you.
Hello Tonks, hope you're feeling better.
Omo- I almost forgot! I have to say I love your way with words. Your posts always put a smile on my face. PS, the word buttocks is hysterical. I giggled.
23 days today and I'm full blown sick. I'm also in a very weird mood. Feeling a bit volatile today. Got rid of some things and people. Not sure how I feel about it all. Days like today typically are triggers. There is a nervousness in the air. I'll probably be close by today. I don't trust myself.
Way to go on 30 days guys. This is an incredible milestone. I hope you guys will take some time and just admire yourselves for how far you have come. This is no easy feat. You should be very proud. I am proud of you as well.
fabl- You know drinking won't make this any better. I know you are facing many mountains at the moment. I have heard that God gives incredible hardships and challenges to those who are strong enough to overcome them. You have already shown to us just how resilient and strong you are. You just need to believe that about yourself. Never feel bad for posting. We are here to listen to the good, bad, ugly, and whatever else may come along. Carbon must endure tremendous pressure to become the diamond it can be. My thoughts are with you. Please don't drink. Love and hugs.
Congrats Della on 3 weeks! You're doing beautifully.
Hi Dax and Midwest and JL! It's great to see you posting.
Brynn- I don't know where to start. Since you started your sobriety journey you have been a beacon of light, an unshakeable force, and an inspiration to so many. I know you must be hurting and I would take your pain away if that were possible. I know this won't break you though. You have done remarkable things since you first began. Things a lot of us would not have been able to do. You truly are a treasure and in time I believe you will find someone deserving of you. Thank you for sharing your struggles and your victories. You're kind of like my sober role model. Thanks for being you.
Hello Tonks, hope you're feeling better.
Omo- I almost forgot! I have to say I love your way with words. Your posts always put a smile on my face. PS, the word buttocks is hysterical. I giggled.
23 days today and I'm full blown sick. I'm also in a very weird mood. Feeling a bit volatile today. Got rid of some things and people. Not sure how I feel about it all. Days like today typically are triggers. There is a nervousness in the air. I'll probably be close by today. I don't trust myself.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Fabl...hugs and tons of support coming your way sweetie!
Facing truth isn't easy sometimes, but if we can make ourselves face it then we can start the process of doing something about it that much sooner!
I'm sorry this relationship is a continual stressor for you, and boy do I understand being mired in a toxic relationship!! But you know you deserve better than this! You deserve to be treated like a queen, not a backup plan! It's hard to break away from a long term relationship no matter how toxic it's been, but I really hope that you will find the strength to put yourself and your sobriety first! If this relationship is a stumbling block to your sobriety then you need to get rid of it. You deserve better.
Facing truth isn't easy sometimes, but if we can make ourselves face it then we can start the process of doing something about it that much sooner!
I'm sorry this relationship is a continual stressor for you, and boy do I understand being mired in a toxic relationship!! But you know you deserve better than this! You deserve to be treated like a queen, not a backup plan! It's hard to break away from a long term relationship no matter how toxic it's been, but I really hope that you will find the strength to put yourself and your sobriety first! If this relationship is a stumbling block to your sobriety then you need to get rid of it. You deserve better.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Originally Posted by Tonks 
Oo Copper, we can be sick buddies! I tried to workout but was just out of breath. So I'll be close by too.
First things first.
What are we eating?
First things first.
What are we eating?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 884
Originally Posted by Tonks
Oo Copper, we can be sick buddies! I tried to workout but was just out of breath. So I'll be close by too.
First things first.
What are we eating?
First things first.
What are we eating?
I am open to suggestions though lol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 872
Just checking in.
I was feeling distressed yesterday, because a friend was visiting and wanted to go out for a drink. I thought my commitment was rock solid, but part of me really wanted to make plans to go out drinking.
However, I have scheduled an afternoon coffee instead for tomorrow. I actually feel a sense of relief. I need to protect my sobriety.
I was feeling distressed yesterday, because a friend was visiting and wanted to go out for a drink. I thought my commitment was rock solid, but part of me really wanted to make plans to go out drinking.
However, I have scheduled an afternoon coffee instead for tomorrow. I actually feel a sense of relief. I need to protect my sobriety.
Ya**!
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada! wtf eh?
Posts: 1,123
Hey Suzie, glad you decided to join our mayhem! Great job again on 2 weeks!
NewDay, that's pretty smart. Way to set yourself up for success!
Copper, I was in the same spot last night and gargled cayenne pepper in water to reduce the inflammation. Did it work? Yes. Am I paying for it today? Oh, yes. I'm a nut ball.
Mariah, way to have a classmate's back! *fistbump*
NewDay, that's pretty smart. Way to set yourself up for success!
Copper, I was in the same spot last night and gargled cayenne pepper in water to reduce the inflammation. Did it work? Yes. Am I paying for it today? Oh, yes. I'm a nut ball.
Mariah, way to have a classmate's back! *fistbump*
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