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One Year and Under Club Part 42

Old 12-30-2014, 05:19 PM
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Live easy but think first
 
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Welcome back, Babs!
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Old 12-30-2014, 05:35 PM
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Marchia in Aeternum
 
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Our aussies are already in the new year, aren't they?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Old 12-30-2014, 05:46 PM
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BoozeFree - Hope you're feeling better soon.

Babs - It's sooo good to have you back. Great job on three weeks! When I thought of drinking, one of my ways of playing the tape through was to think of that last hangover. Hold onto your miserable withdrawals. Not wanting to feel that way again got me through some difficult cravings. Sobriety, for me today, is more than avoiding feeling lousy, it's allowing myself to feel good - but it took some time to get there.

Dax - Great job on 4 days of sobriety. I have always been a hard worker, but in the beginning of my sobriety, I eeked out only the bare minimum at home and at work. My recovery has been an incremental rebuilding of my life, and my routines and productivity are returning slowly. I'm nowhere near what I used to be in many ways, but in many ways I'm better.

Gilmer - I agree that maturity can be a nice side effect of sobriety. I'm still immature, but less immature than before.

Drake - It's great that you're getting out and about even though you're feeling down. I hope you had a nice time with your sober friend today.

Chris - Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful, as anyone who's relapsed can attest. I'm glad you're feeling well and enjoying your sobriety.

Saskia - I agree with your advice to Dax. I have found that actively working on my recovery, honoring what's right for me, keeping my expectations realistic, and practicing acceptance, keep me from looking for an escape.

SoberLeigh - It's nice to see you here! Glad you're joining us.

Happy New Year Undies! All my fondest wishes to everyone as you ring in 2015 sober!!
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Old 12-30-2014, 07:24 PM
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According to the World Clock, it is 2:25PM in Sydney now.. close but not quite to the New Year.
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Old 12-31-2014, 10:10 AM
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Undies----Happy New Year---and I want to thank each of you for the nice welcome back. It means more than you know. I feel so good with your support. I really needed it and the fact you acknowledged me means the world to me. thank you.
hugs to all of you--
Babs
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Old 12-31-2014, 10:28 AM
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(((Babs)))

I'm currently whining about 36 F here in VA...
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Old 12-31-2014, 11:18 AM
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Hey all
SL, Babs, Bimini, good to see y'all here!

Dax, making lists is a good way of focussing yourself on getting things done. For me my day starts with a run with the dog. To begin with I didn't run I walked. Then I sort of jogged and huffed, then I jogged, now I sort of jog n run n huff n puff. Progress of a kind!
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Old 12-31-2014, 02:48 PM
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Happy New Year, Undies!
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Old 12-31-2014, 02:53 PM
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Happy New Year to you, too, Sass!
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Old 12-31-2014, 03:13 PM
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Marchia in Aeternum
 
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Will we make it to midnight? I probbly wont.
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Old 12-31-2014, 03:15 PM
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Yeah, I'm really beat, too. I might go up and take a long nap, and have my peeps wake me up at 11:45. It's been a long day.
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Old 12-31-2014, 04:13 PM
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Hi Undies,

I had long day at work. I got kind of beat up in the morning - that's the nature of my job some days - but the afternoon ended well. Tonight I'd love to be out and about doing some people watching in the city or at the casino with other sober people, or having a sober night in, with games, movies, popcorn and soda... But that's not my life.

Instead my choices were a night in watching my husband drink, or a night out watching my husband and friends drink. I chose the latter, thinking that a night out watching other people drink could break up the monotony of watching him drink. It's not particularly recovery minded. There is something therapeutic, in a Fifth Step sort of way, to admitting the truth to myself and other people.

I'm not going to drink tonight. Chances are I won't even be tempted. My cravings or temptations don't happen at parties or large gatherings anymore, and I don't resent other people for being able to drink like I did when I first got sober.

I'm not feeling particularly sober tonight, though. Grinning and bearing it, gritting my teeth, settling for something different than what I want to do - was my active alcoholic behavior.

Getting sober and stopping drinking was hard. Staying sober and changing my life is hard too. You know what I was just thinking, though? When I choose to do sober things, I feel an amazing liberation - true peace, serenity, joy, happiness, and freedom. When I fall back on my old alcoholic behaviors, I feel tangled up, stressy, confused, and unhappy. Tonight a sober friend asked me why I chose to do something I didn't want to do tonight. Good question!

I fell back on my old alcoholic behaviors - limiting my choices to the lesser of two evils and choosing the devil I know - instead of honoring how I genuinely would have preferred to ring in the new year. Besides, I figured a sober night in or out couldn't happen in my current situation because my husband chooses to drink. This is the self pity and codependency that alcoholism is made of.

I'm setting off for the party tonight in a way more peaceful frame of mind than I started: Yes I chose to go. No it's not what I want to do. But I'm not doomed to a life of codependency and self pity and alcoholic behaviors. Next time, to be more sober, I can be mindful of what I want to do, rather than limiting my choices to the lesser of two evils.

I'm so grateful to the universe for SR and all of you! Happy New Year!
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Old 12-31-2014, 05:45 PM
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Happy New Year, Undies!!

Wow, what a year it has been. Started on a spiritual journey to St Thomas and is ending on my sofa watching some mindless tube feeling at peace with where things are right now in my life and good about the plans I'm making in the future. But, I think best of all is that I am completely comfortable bringing this new year in alone and feeling no need to change a thing.

Recovery has given me that gift. All of my life I wanted something else and never took time to enjoy and be grateful for what I had. Today I can do that, and, at times, without even needing to think about it. I just will find myself content and happy. Honestly, undies, that is some crazy sh*t that never happened to me in prior to these past 20 months. For decades my mind raced from one thing to the next. Heck, I rarely ever even enjoyed a drink. I was way to busy thinking about my next drink.

I have such a long way to go, but, I am really and truly learning to just live and enjoy the present.

Glee, your body might be at that gathering...but, your mind is FREE!

Babs, congrats on your three weeks. Welcome back. Remember, you have more tools today than ever before if you trigger! Use them...lean on them...recovery is so much easier as a WE!!

Dax, nice to see you again too. Well said, principals before personalities.

Again, my best to all of you. May the sober force be with us in 2015!!!

Carlos
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Old 12-31-2014, 07:14 PM
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Hi undies
Just caught up finally on all of your posts.
I've been super sick for a few days. Havnt done much besides rest and drink tea. I'm finally feeling a little better and thankfully have tomorrow as well to rest up before its back to womp Friday.

I'm so grateful just to feel a little healthy again. My poor dog has been going little crazy since I haven't been able to get her out to play but my sis took her on a 5mile run to the beach and back this afternoon.

A friend text me last night that was wanting to drink and even bought a bottle and I told her to come over even tho I felt horribly sick. My crazy dog always cheers people up with her silliness and I knew she could be put to work and sure enough that friend ended up texting me later saying how she felt better. It was nice to help someone out and help them stay sober another day

Babs so glad you've come back here.

GF hope you enjoy going out or atleast some good people watching.

Carlos I've slacked on the shoulder stuff to be honest but will get motivated hopefully when I get over this cold.
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Old 01-01-2015, 08:36 AM
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Happy 2015, Undies!

BF, how great it is that you were able to help your friend on New Year's Eve. Happy to hear you are feeling better!

Carlos, sometimes it's good to look back and see just how far we've come. Happy to hear you feel at peace. You are one of those thoughtful and supportive fellow travelers on SR who I'm happy to call my friend.

Glee, I appreciate your very thoughtful and honest posts about your journey. So often there aren't clear signposts for what to do next in this sometimes painful, sad and sometimes joyful journey that is life. But doing the next right thing is more short-term and easier to follow, as I know you know :-)

Trachy, we don't need to agree on politics and lots of other things to support each other in staying sober. You are a good and steady friend on this amazing journey!

Gilmer, my dear and steady friend! I've known you a good while and always appreciate your steadfast support and many kindnesses.

Toots, I know you're not here as much and understand that. Nonetheless, I much appreciate your always heartfelt thoughts and questions and warm support. You have traveled a long road so gracefully!

Drake, I love your regular posts and appreciate your support. I hope you can find your way out from under those dark clouds I'm only too familiar with.

Babs, I've known you for longer than many, too and am delighted to see you back :-)

Dex, happy to have you join us!

Chris, I enjoy your occasional pop-ins. It sounds like you are doing so well! With your active lifestyle, I can understand the time limitations.

SoberLeigh, happy to see you here, too!

LonelyShadow, Great to hear about the huge progress you've made. Keep it up!

Lots of good wishes for all the other Undies! My Swiss-cheese brain has a hard time remembering all of you so please don't take offense if I missed naming you!
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Old 01-01-2015, 09:32 AM
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Good New Year's Morning!

I had likely the best New Year of my life this year. I went to the Alca-thon to start, which I have always thought about going to an Alca-thon since I started this journey 4/2011, but I didn't ever do it. I am so glad I did! I just sat in meeting after meeting for a few hours. And every anxiety I had that I would drink slipped away. It wasn't replaced with a cockiness of "I'm not gonna drink, I can do whatever. I'm solid!" I have experienced that before, for sure. It was more like, "I have no desire to drink. Drinking would be as crazy as drinking cyanide." I have NEVER experienced that. NEVER!!!

Then I spent the evening with safe, sober peeps. Lots of genuine laughter. Lots of relaxed fun. And two hours before midnight, it snowed in Tucson, AZ! That is some magical stuff right there! I delighted in what was happening rather than laying in my bed, numbing out which has been my life for oh so long.

Ended it with a final Alca-thon meeting at 2am and then home safely in my warm bed cuddling with my wife and my precious pup.

Duders... This is a dream come true! I am feeling so at peace.

The thing I can point to happened two nights ago. When I did my fifth step about a year in a half ago, I shared all, but one thing. It was the thing I decided no one needed to know. And that is the thing that has still been with me, needling at me. So, when my sponsor and I met, I just told him. I just blurted it out.

We spent the next two hours talking on a level that I have never talked with another human being before. It was... Cleansing. He related to it in a way that let me know he knew me on a cellular level, without judgment. And he loved me afterward. Like really did.

I don't want to get ahead of myself. This is one of my slippery things, I feel better and stop doing the work.

But I just had to share this (way, way too long) post.

Day six for me. And so very grateful.

Love.

Dax
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Old 01-01-2015, 09:55 AM
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Dax, that sounds great :-). Keep up the good work!
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Old 01-01-2015, 02:24 PM
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Dax sounds like you had a great night!

I'm finally feeling better today! I've been drinking tea and playing some records. It's nice to feel healthy again, that cold I had was brutal!
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Old 01-01-2015, 02:32 PM
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Glad you're feeling good again, BFree!
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Old 01-02-2015, 02:06 AM
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Dax what a relief to lay down a burden you have carried for so long, and to find that the one you opened up to had no judgement, just pure acceptance. Perhaps now you can begin to lay that particular ghost to rest. If necessary get some professional counselling to aid the healing process. I am glad you enjoyed your NYE, though it all sounded a little hectic for me!!

Sass, I try to write less here now, as I feel there is real growth in helping others, and by being a loud voice here, I was standing in the way of others being able to speak up. I do always read the posts and will pm with someone I feel may benefit from my experiences, and occasionally, as today, pipe up with a post. Plus you and I are old ( in the longevity of friendship not age!) friends and keep company in other ways and on our class thread!

BeFree, that does sound like a doozy of a cold sweetheart, I truly hope you are on the mend. How is your friend after her battle of wills with her AV? I am so glad you were there for her.

Glee, I wonder what changes 2015 will have in store for you? 2014 was pretty momentous for sure! I do know it will include further personal growth and your first sober anniversary.

Hi Carlos, I thought you were going to spend more time with us in the Overs??

Trachy, did you make it to midnight? I did, I just can't quite accept I am at the stage I can't stay up past midnight one night a year!!

Gilmer I guess things begin to get back to normal in your house now? I am beginning the long truck of taking down our Christmas decorations today, I know I'm meant to leave it the 12 days of Christmas, but as I said to hubby, I don't want my house filled with 'Lords-a-Leaping' thank you very much!!

LS, have you found a flat yet? I am excited for you a new beginning at the beginning of a new year. Just don't let yourself feel overwhelmed with all the changes, remember we are all here and able to listen, chat, just be here.

Hi SJ, happy new year my friend.

Babs, keep up the good work, sweetie, I am so happy to see you are really focussing on your recovery.

I guess a few new faces will find their way here, January is traditionally a month of new resolutions ( many broken before the ink has dried) for a lot who decide to stop drinking, they already know in their hearts that their relationship with alcohol is an unhealthy one. So for those who discover the Undies thread, I know they will receive a warm welcome an possibly just the right words to resonate ( as so many of us heard at the right time) and help their first unsteady steps down recoverys path.

Onwards and Upwards my friends in Recovery.
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