Class of October 2014 Part 7
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Good morning guys. I'm feeling a little better today, and again with the "omg what did I write last night and why?!" feeling. Sorry for the pity party...again. I'll respond to your posts a little later, right now I'm going to fall into a vat of coffee and try to get some work done.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Thinking good thoughts towards you, Briar.
Early recovery is darn hard ! You get the full on "what I don't want to deal with" stuff, right in your face. I hate that feeling, and no one is immune to it, it seems. I believe it gets better and we learn to deal with it better, because were not chemically poisoned.
Early recovery is darn hard ! You get the full on "what I don't want to deal with" stuff, right in your face. I hate that feeling, and no one is immune to it, it seems. I believe it gets better and we learn to deal with it better, because were not chemically poisoned.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Venus, sent you a pm with some jewelry photos. 
Busy morning working at school. Need to bring my daughter to an appointment for 5:30. So and I having a quiet afternoon for now. I may go rest to gather some energy to bake or do some crafting or something later. Not much time, though. But even 30 mins helps. I seem to always need naps. I fade in the mid afternoon.
Busy morning working at school. Need to bring my daughter to an appointment for 5:30. So and I having a quiet afternoon for now. I may go rest to gather some energy to bake or do some crafting or something later. Not much time, though. But even 30 mins helps. I seem to always need naps. I fade in the mid afternoon.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
Slept in till 9.30. Wow. Can't believe fat cat didn't wake me up!
Thanks phoebe ~ your jewellery is lovely.
I'm in love with the last bracelet.
Interesting idea Sparkos.
I'm joining you in that vat of coffee Briar.
Can't wake up.
Feel better Jen.
Thanks phoebe ~ your jewellery is lovely.
I'm in love with the last bracelet.
Interesting idea Sparkos.
I'm joining you in that vat of coffee Briar.
Can't wake up.
Feel better Jen.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Wow. Today I feel like a bad parent/husband. My wife came home happy, with some clothes and 2 toys, 1 for 6yr old, 1 for our 1.5 yr old. She put in for a gift program for kids who wont get stuff for xmas. I don't know why this bothers me so bad. I guess its just that weve had such a hard time the past 2 yrs with another miracle baby, that almost didn't get here (weve lost 2). I thought she was ok with us just getting the kids a good toy for xmas, and some stocking stuffers, since that's basically all we had. Kind of simple. What I feel like this tells me, is that she doesn't want me to feel bad but that its not enough for our kids. We actually let some bills pile up just to do this.
Maybe Im just being stupid, but Ive been drunk most holidays or drinking, and I just wouldn't notice this.
It probably mean she just loves our kids and wants a little bit more of xmas, being that most kids get piles of junk they never play with.
The idea that Im a low paid worker just kind of slammed me, even though Im so thankful to have a job that may never pay the big bucks, but from 43-63, I can build a defined pension plan and not retire destitute, (Like most people that live in the mountains here).
Maybe this doesn't make sense, I cant tell. Maybe AV trying to get me down. Im damned down about it, but not gonna drink. Just a little depressed I guess.
Sober though, day 5[/LIST]
Maybe Im just being stupid, but Ive been drunk most holidays or drinking, and I just wouldn't notice this.
It probably mean she just loves our kids and wants a little bit more of xmas, being that most kids get piles of junk they never play with.
The idea that Im a low paid worker just kind of slammed me, even though Im so thankful to have a job that may never pay the big bucks, but from 43-63, I can build a defined pension plan and not retire destitute, (Like most people that live in the mountains here).
Maybe this doesn't make sense, I cant tell. Maybe AV trying to get me down. Im damned down about it, but not gonna drink. Just a little depressed I guess.
Sober though, day 5[/LIST]
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
(((JL))) Great work on day 5 and posting here when things get sticky. I hope you and your wife get some time to talk it out.
I'm drained physically and emotionally. The thought of work tomorrow is frightening. Lol. Time to hit the sack early. Goodnight/morning, all.
I'm drained physically and emotionally. The thought of work tomorrow is frightening. Lol. Time to hit the sack early. Goodnight/morning, all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
Money issues are hard JL. I know this first hand. I have mentioned this before, but I really have no clothes, and I don't have a couch to sit on....I can get down about it too. Or I can remind myself of all of the money I wasted on alcohol....
We may still have debt, and not enough money for the things we want for ourselves or our kids, but we are putting ourselves in a far better position to be more financially secure in the future.
I hope that the extras your wife bought this year will not cause you too much grief.
And I hope that your family, and all of your families have a lovely Christmas.
V xx
We may still have debt, and not enough money for the things we want for ourselves or our kids, but we are putting ourselves in a far better position to be more financially secure in the future.
I hope that the extras your wife bought this year will not cause you too much grief.
And I hope that your family, and all of your families have a lovely Christmas.
V xx
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
JL - don't be hard on yourself. You've made a lot of progress in your work lately. I'm sure your wife sees that and appreciates it. Money is all relative anyway, and family is much more important. You're a good provider and an asset to your family.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
JL,
My thoughts would have been like yours. You've put tremendous effort into gaining security for your family, and I can relate that on some level the gifts from an outside source like that could make you feel as though the efforts/results fell short somehow. Doesn't mean we're right, but I get it. Maybe it's a guy pride thing. Whatever it is, I understand it. Having said that, I would encourage you to let it go. You've set in motion plans for your future security in the financial area with your new job as well as the personal aspect with sobriety (which is priceless). Who knows what opportunities your sober future may hold. That's a great example of stepping up my friend!
My thoughts would have been like yours. You've put tremendous effort into gaining security for your family, and I can relate that on some level the gifts from an outside source like that could make you feel as though the efforts/results fell short somehow. Doesn't mean we're right, but I get it. Maybe it's a guy pride thing. Whatever it is, I understand it. Having said that, I would encourage you to let it go. You've set in motion plans for your future security in the financial area with your new job as well as the personal aspect with sobriety (which is priceless). Who knows what opportunities your sober future may hold. That's a great example of stepping up my friend!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
What time is it where you are Conquest? It's 8:15pm here on the east coast and I feel the same way. I should just turn in already. Go to bed. I've only been getting six hours or so of sleep everyday all week and it's catching up to me. I hate feeling tired at work.
Well tomorrow's the company Christmas party. We work a half day then get together for a nice meal around a good fire. There will be plenty of drinking as always. My plan is to get there early and start eating appetizers. Stay for a couple hours then leave. In the past I was usually one of the last to leave. Drinking around that fire until the very end. Nope. Not this time. I honestly would rather not even go but it's a company deal and it would look bad if one of their top guys weren't there. Wish me luck!
Hi Venus... Let's just deal with one thing at a time. Take it light. I was bamboozled when I got home from work today. Too much at once so I just had to focus on the one task at hand. Let myself breathe a bit...
Well tomorrow's the company Christmas party. We work a half day then get together for a nice meal around a good fire. There will be plenty of drinking as always. My plan is to get there early and start eating appetizers. Stay for a couple hours then leave. In the past I was usually one of the last to leave. Drinking around that fire until the very end. Nope. Not this time. I honestly would rather not even go but it's a company deal and it would look bad if one of their top guys weren't there. Wish me luck!
Hi Venus... Let's just deal with one thing at a time. Take it light. I was bamboozled when I got home from work today. Too much at once so I just had to focus on the one task at hand. Let myself breathe a bit...
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Arbor, my office holiday party is this evening, and I'm not going. I'm already home in my jammies. I just can't do it. It just feels too weird.
V I hope you're doing okay with everything you have going on. It's a lot all at once, but you will get through it.
Thanks to everyone for your support. I'm doing better today. I got some good news at work today and right away felt happy about it. Yay for appropriate and timely emotional responses! So much better!
Sparkos - I don't have too much trouble with mania, and actually by definition bipolar II doesn't include mania, just hypomania which is basically all revved up but not psychotic. I get those occasionally, but I tend toward depression. I can kind of predict it, and I can do things like stock up on food, freeze meals, shift my workload around a little. All that organization and proactive effort hasn't panned out much in early recovery what with everything being kind of a mess and all. It's okay though, I'm sure I'll get to a better place with it as time goes on.
I got carried away with another metaphor today and wrote some stuff for my blog. I'm so grateful they give us those blogs here, it's a very good outlet for me. I swear, if I didn't write stuff down, I'd never figure anything out. Ever.
I like the idea of making a list of priorities. I think I'll do that too. There's so much to do right now with the holidays coming.
Time to cook dinner, I'll check back in later. Love to all.
V I hope you're doing okay with everything you have going on. It's a lot all at once, but you will get through it.
Thanks to everyone for your support. I'm doing better today. I got some good news at work today and right away felt happy about it. Yay for appropriate and timely emotional responses!
So much better!Sparkos - I don't have too much trouble with mania, and actually by definition bipolar II doesn't include mania, just hypomania which is basically all revved up but not psychotic. I get those occasionally, but I tend toward depression. I can kind of predict it, and I can do things like stock up on food, freeze meals, shift my workload around a little. All that organization and proactive effort hasn't panned out much in early recovery what with everything being kind of a mess and all. It's okay though, I'm sure I'll get to a better place with it as time goes on.
I got carried away with another metaphor today and wrote some stuff for my blog. I'm so grateful they give us those blogs here, it's a very good outlet for me. I swear, if I didn't write stuff down, I'd never figure anything out. Ever.
I like the idea of making a list of priorities. I think I'll do that too. There's so much to do right now with the holidays coming.
Time to cook dinner, I'll check back in later. Love to all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
JL, I am a woman, a mother, responding to your feelings. Thank your wife for getting those extras and let her know how grateful you are that she was able to do that. It will go far in your relationship, or it would with me.
What I would not give for some appreciation for all I do at this time fo year. I get every gift, even some of my own, bake each cookie, maybe with some help from the kids, and even get some of my own gifts.
Anyway, I understand times are tough, but be grateful that your kids can have a happy holiday and be grateful that she helped with that. You do not have to do all of it. It is a shared thing, this parenting job.
Merry Christmas!
What I would not give for some appreciation for all I do at this time fo year. I get every gift, even some of my own, bake each cookie, maybe with some help from the kids, and even get some of my own gifts.
Anyway, I understand times are tough, but be grateful that your kids can have a happy holiday and be grateful that she helped with that. You do not have to do all of it. It is a shared thing, this parenting job.
Merry Christmas!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
I woke up to a thunderstorm at 1 (now 3 here) with swollen tonsils, a sore throat, and stuffy nose. I mean, really?! Talk about kickin a girl when she's down. I just steamed, salt water gargled, took a benadryl and an ibuprofen hoping it's just allergies from all the flowers at the funeral yesterday. Anyone got special remedies?
Here's a quote from Roald Dahl (author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) that is now in my bathroom, Venus.
Here's a quote from Roald Dahl (author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) that is now in my bathroom, Venus.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,480
What a beautiful quote Conquest! I need ink for my printer...then I can add that one to the sticky note I put up last night. I got through a difficult evening thanks to that quote you gave us last night...seeing "I am strong, I can do this, I am loved" is a great way to get me out the door with the right attitude. Especially because life is challenging right now. My dad gets weaker every day. Sigh.
Sorry that you woke up sick love; I hope it is just allergies.
I do have some handy home remedies, but better not to talk about them in the threads.
PM if you like.
V xx
Sorry that you woke up sick love; I hope it is just allergies.
I do have some handy home remedies, but better not to talk about them in the threads.
PM if you like.
V xx
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