Blogs


Notices

Class of December 2012 - Part 13

Old 08-25-2015, 02:30 PM
  # 401 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Hello

Just thinking of all members of the December class, old and new.

I wonder if people check in and read but don't post perhaps.

Taz - hope you are doing ok. how is work going?

Tam - hope you are feeling better by now. Great news on the weight loss too

courage - love your post in Newcomers

Alice - have you been travelling recently? Hope your health is all ok now.

Gonzo- how's the weather over your way now? Has it cooled down at all?

Fallow - how are things? has the new baby arrived yet? hope all is well.

Napster - how are things down in the South of England? Has your weather been as bad as ours up here?

Marria- hope the children are all ok and you too.

Last but not least Dee - hope you are ok.

Ah well maybe people won't read this but just so you know I'm thinking of you all Sorry if I've missed anyone.
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-25-2015), Dee74 (08-25-2015), gonzo4419 (08-26-2015)
Old 08-25-2015, 05:57 PM
  # 402 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 189,095
Blog Entries: 1
Busy but good RAL

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-25-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-25-2015)
Old 08-25-2015, 08:48 PM
  # 403 (permalink)  
p***enger
 
courage2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 16,339
I'm around the forum every day Ready. I know Tam still comes around, and Gonzo. I haven't seen the others in a while, but I hope they'll come back if they need to.

I'm ok -- maybe coming down with some kind of bug. I had dinner with a woman tonight who I like a bit & can tell is a serious drinker. Not necessarily an alcoholic, but she knows her way around a bottle. There've been a lot of times when I wished I could drink, but not usually socially. Tonight, I would have liked to hang out. But she wouldn't have wanted to hang out with me sober. We had a pretty good time over dinner though.

When does RAL Jr start school?
courage2 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to courage2 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-25-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-25-2015)
Old 08-25-2015, 08:55 PM
  # 404 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 189,095
Blog Entries: 1
Hope you feel better soon Courage

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-25-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-25-2015)
Old 08-25-2015, 11:48 PM
  # 405 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Also hope you feel better soon courage and the bug passes quickly. It's great you can go out for dinner and not be bothered by others drinking.You've come a long way=be proud of yourself

How has your year away from the office been? Are you going back this term?

Jr RAL went back to school last week-it's really very early in Scotland! He's in primary 2 now so not the baby anymore
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-26-2015), Dee74 (08-25-2015)
Old 08-26-2015, 09:27 AM
  # 406 (permalink)  
p***enger
 
courage2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 16,339
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast View Post
It's great you can go out for dinner and not be bothered by others drinking.
I wouldn't say that. Her beer didn't bother me (though I noticed everything about it) but it bothered me a lot that she was headed to a bar after dinner & I wasn't.


Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast View Post
Jr RAL went back to school last week-it's really very early in Scotland! He's in primary 2 now so not the baby anymore
-- Do you & he live alone now? Does he see his dad, and does he like friend?
courage2 is offline  
Old 08-26-2015, 12:18 PM
  # 407 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Originally Posted by courage2 View Post

-- Do you & he live alone now? Does he see his dad, and does he like friend?
Yes, we 're still in the same house, just the 2 of us. He sees his dad as often as his dad would like him to. I'll never stand in the way of them seeing each other-can't stand people using children as pawns

There hasn't been as much contact over the summer, mainly as he's been at my mother's a lot.

Yes he likes new friend. They do lots of boy stuff together which heloves. Sadly his dad was never very hands on. Not that new friend is trying to be daddy or anything. Think it helps as he is a family friend who jr RAL has known since we moved here and we were all close. there was no big change other than his father moving out which he seemed quite happy with

I try not to overcomplicate things for him of course. have explained we are in a relationship which he seems to accept. It would be quite different if it was a stranger - I would not introduce a stranger to him. if that makes any kind of sense.
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-26-2015)
Old 08-29-2015, 08:35 AM
  # 408 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Hi, I know this prob won't be read for a while and not really looking for answers just need to get things straight in my head. Today for the first time in a long time I wanted to drink.

I've had a very difficult weekend. Someone said something to new mr RAL about me - a very bad thing which was untrue. I know it's untrue and so does he but it has caused me to feel angry, resentful, hurt and upset.

It was an old friend of his (female) who has always had a bit of a thing for him. we knew she was visiting so this has been building up for a while as I do believe she has a problem with me as we are together. she had clearly already made her mind up about me before she'd even met me. Anyway the evening ended extremely badly. Unfortumately he and I rowed ( privately at home, not in public).

I just feel so insecure and vulnerable now and terribly on edge. I won't drink but the fact the thought is there scares me.

I know we can't control what anyone else says or does, it's how we react that matters. I just feel bad - he has said I come first and I am his priority. I am not expecting him to choose or say don't speak to her/see her again. he says he will not but this is extreme. I would never try and control anyone or their friends and am concerned this may cause resentment in our relationship.

We parted this morning amicably but to spend the day separately for thought and space.

I genuinely cannot be friendly with this woman though after what she said to him about me. She is trying to sow the seed of doubt in his mind. He says she has done this before when he has been in other relationships. She is very unstable.

I just thought my life was so calm and contented - I even posted about it last week and then this happens!
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-29-2015), Dee74 (08-29-2015)
Old 08-29-2015, 08:44 AM
  # 409 (permalink)  
p***enger
 
courage2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 16,339
((ral))
courage2 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to courage2 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-29-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-29-2015)
Old 08-29-2015, 10:22 AM
  # 410 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Thanks courage.
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (12-13-2015), Dee74 (08-29-2015)
Old 08-29-2015, 05:48 PM
  # 411 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 189,095
Blog Entries: 1
I'm sorry RAL.

I reckon the best thing you can do is remember her motivation here. Sounds like she wants what you have - and she'll never get it

As for thinking of drinking - thinking's fine - it's how we respond that counts - that's the true measure of our recovery.

You didn't drink and you came here - that an A+


D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-29-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-29-2015)
Old 08-29-2015, 07:53 PM
  # 412 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Thank you so much Dee.

I got through the day. Can't sleep now but that doesn't really matter. I will sleep eventually.

Today is a new day. A very odd thing happened though. The incident on Friday night was inthe village ( before we went home and rowed) Everyone saw something she did. Apparently it is now village gossip which I hate. old Mr RAL rang me last evening to ask if I am ok. He seemed genuinely concerned. I was surprised. I said most men would say I deserved all I get and if new mr ral went off with the other woman then it would be karma.

He said no, he isn't like that.I know he isn't, he is a good man. He said he will alwyas be there for me if I need to talk. i was very surprised tbh and very genuinely touched. Now I feel even more bad for how much I have hurt him.

People really do surprise me with their kindness when least expected.
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-29-2015), Dee74 (08-29-2015)
Old 08-29-2015, 08:09 PM
  # 413 (permalink)  
p***enger
 
courage2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 16,339
Ready -- you do well to talk to trusted people about this. Have you talked more with your new man?

I've been sick -- just the flu, but its still has me laid me up with a fever & many aches & pains. It's darned depressing to be ill!
courage2 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to courage2 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-29-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2015)
Old 08-29-2015, 08:18 PM
  # 414 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 189,095
Blog Entries: 1
Feel better soon Courage

RAL, you left the old Mr RAL for definite and good reasons - him showing you some empathy doesn't change that.

I'm sure he's a nice guy in many ways, but it just wasn't working between you two.

Try and not let this one thing make you second guess everything else.

Village gossip sucks but it'll be onto a new topic in a day or two, right?

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-30-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-30-2015)
Old 08-30-2015, 12:50 AM
  # 415 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Thank you courage and Dee for your kindness.

Dee- you're so right. I will not let my thoughts get tangled or let myself doubt or second guess things now. It's easy to forget how bad things were isn't it.

yes courage, we have talked extensively. He wanted for me and this other woman to be friends which obviously hasn't and won't happen. He understands my perspective and is annoyed with her for what she said. I think he is disappointed that she has behaved badly - he tends to see the good in others and then they disappoint him.

We have talked and talked. Of course couples row. I always say it's how you get through the row and if issues are resolved without resentment that matters. You don't have to agree on everything but respect and at least try to understand each others views and agree to disagree if necessary. He hates friction and is annoyed at being the subject of gossip, as a very private person.

Will see what today brings. Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to me.

courage - I hope you are feeling better soon. It's lousy when you're laid up. try and eat well and keep well hydrated.
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-30-2015), Dee74 (08-30-2015)
Old 08-31-2015, 12:35 AM
  # 416 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Morning all,

How are you feeling courage? hope you feel better than you did at the weekend? Is it a public holiday weekend in the US? It is in England but not in Scotland which always seems so strange to me. Anyway off to work I go.

Yesterday was better and I felt relaxed and had my sanity returned
for the first time in a few days. We talked more and he said the only thing that matters is our relationship. We were absolutely fine till she same alongwith her normal disruption. So we shall let her be and it will not affect us.

Thank you for your kindness this weekend and hope you have a great week
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-31-2015)
Old 08-31-2015, 09:01 AM
  # 417 (permalink)  
p***enger
 
courage2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 16,339
Hi Read -- I'm still not terrifically well, but better -- not so achey and I don't think any fever, just very tired. Today I'm weighing trying to go to my office -- it's a 2 mile round trip walk in 33C heat -- or not. I have no choice tomorrow with a 10 hour day scheduled. This has been very unusual for me to stay home sick.

We don't have a holiday today -- not that I'd know if we did, I work through most holidays LOL.

I'm glad you & your fellow are getting along. It's too bad you had that woman come along, but you both are adults and I guess one of the things that means is that you each have known people before.
courage2 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to courage2 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-31-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-31-2015)
Old 08-31-2015, 03:03 PM
  # 418 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
Sorry to hear you;re still feeling ill courage a long walk in the heat is def best avoided if you are ill. rest and take it easy if you can today.

you're right - we both have pasts. that doesn't bother me. I'm not a jealous person and not too insecure since stopping drinking either. just don't like the past rearing its ugly head in the current day

hope you get some rest and feel better soon. hugs
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (12-13-2015), Dee74 (08-31-2015)
Old 08-31-2015, 04:53 PM
  # 419 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 189,095
Blog Entries: 1
You know...there's a lot of indispensable folks in the cemetery Courage....
Maybe what you really need now is rest?

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
courage2 (08-31-2015), ReadyAtLast (08-31-2015)
Old 09-01-2015, 08:38 AM
  # 420 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,890
how are you feeling today courage? hope you got some rest yesterday and your 10 hour day isn't too bad today.
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
courage2 (09-01-2015), Dee74 (09-01-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:23 PM.