Class of August 2014 Part 14
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Hey all
Grateful - I like your plan. It's progress I think when we are making plans for situations coming up, we know our triggers and we are not white knuckling it! Good for you. I am glad you found Fentimans in the USA - they are a great range of drinks :-)
Glandon - that was a great post. I really like the "no off button" analogy and think of this often.
Rah - I think you are doing great! Keep going.
I had a good day. Much calmer than in recent weeks at work. I am not thinking of alcohol a huge amount at all, even if there are lots of drinks and events at work. Progress!
Grateful - I like your plan. It's progress I think when we are making plans for situations coming up, we know our triggers and we are not white knuckling it! Good for you. I am glad you found Fentimans in the USA - they are a great range of drinks :-)
Glandon - that was a great post. I really like the "no off button" analogy and think of this often.
Rah - I think you are doing great! Keep going.
I had a good day. Much calmer than in recent weeks at work. I am not thinking of alcohol a huge amount at all, even if there are lots of drinks and events at work. Progress!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Ultramarathoner 
Christmas party with an open bar tonight. Really didn't bug me.
My wife had two drinks (she rarely drinks and very rarely has more than one). I was pretty happy since I really don't want my decision to affect her choices.
Stay on task folks!
My wife had two drinks (she rarely drinks and very rarely has more than one). I was pretty happy since I really don't want my decision to affect her choices.
Stay on task folks!
I have the exact same situation. My wife drinks (rarely two) and when she does it makes me feel great that she can enjoy one without having to worry about me. I am grateful that the open bars are not affecting me either but I am always on guard -- that AV can hibernate a long time and sneak up on us just when we feel super confident (that's how I relapsed last time so I am "ultra"-aware now
! Going to celebrate 4 months on Friday. You better bet there will be dark chocolate involved !!Great progress report sir keep up the amazing work on this amazing journey!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Hey team,
Good to see everyone. I had a bad weekend, and a worse day today. Sorry to always and forever be complaining here. Had a doc visit today, and even though I've been good, I've gained 8 lbs since my last visit 6 months ago! What? And my bp was not good! What? Too much rewarding myself with food? Not exercising enough?
Probably all of these things. I'm very upset, and sick as well with a sinus infection.
Doc says I need to lose 10 or more lbs, and get active, up off my butt! Everyday. A lot.
To make matters worse, our only car (the old hoopdie) is having front end problems now and isn't safe to drive. Its been an awful weekend, and my doc visit was horrible. 6 months ago when I was bad, I weighed 10 lbs lighter, and my bp was lower. What's going on here? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
My hub had to take this afternoon off, to get me to my docs. We can't afford that. Now I'm carless, jobless, and really not in good shape. My bp was probably up due to the fact that we argued the whole way to the doc, and I'm upset about our car. Plus, we are not getting along well.
Well, what can I say? I'm not a happy camper tonight.
So my new JOB here is to lose weight, and get my bp numbers back in order.
I do have a juicer, so I'm going to try to juice for awhile. If I can afford it. Whole healthy foods are expensive, we eat what we can afford. Which is usually a protein, but cheaper sides. I guess I need to quit all the munchies ,junk, rewards I've been allowing myself. I need a perfect balance. And more exercise, as well. Given its winter here now, that's going to be hard to do.
I'm sick, depressed and out of sorts tonight. Hoping for a better tomorrow.
I'm doing everything right, for the first time in a very long time. Why aren't things happening for me?
I'm discouraged, and sick tonight.
Didn't mean to make this post all about me, sorry team. I will catch up more later.
Thanks for being here, as always.
Good to see everyone. I had a bad weekend, and a worse day today. Sorry to always and forever be complaining here. Had a doc visit today, and even though I've been good, I've gained 8 lbs since my last visit 6 months ago! What? And my bp was not good! What? Too much rewarding myself with food? Not exercising enough?
Probably all of these things. I'm very upset, and sick as well with a sinus infection.
Doc says I need to lose 10 or more lbs, and get active, up off my butt! Everyday. A lot.
To make matters worse, our only car (the old hoopdie) is having front end problems now and isn't safe to drive. Its been an awful weekend, and my doc visit was horrible. 6 months ago when I was bad, I weighed 10 lbs lighter, and my bp was lower. What's going on here? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
My hub had to take this afternoon off, to get me to my docs. We can't afford that. Now I'm carless, jobless, and really not in good shape. My bp was probably up due to the fact that we argued the whole way to the doc, and I'm upset about our car. Plus, we are not getting along well.
Well, what can I say? I'm not a happy camper tonight.
So my new JOB here is to lose weight, and get my bp numbers back in order.
I do have a juicer, so I'm going to try to juice for awhile. If I can afford it. Whole healthy foods are expensive, we eat what we can afford. Which is usually a protein, but cheaper sides. I guess I need to quit all the munchies ,junk, rewards I've been allowing myself. I need a perfect balance. And more exercise, as well. Given its winter here now, that's going to be hard to do.
I'm sick, depressed and out of sorts tonight. Hoping for a better tomorrow.
I'm doing everything right, for the first time in a very long time. Why aren't things happening for me?
I'm discouraged, and sick tonight.
Didn't mean to make this post all about me, sorry team. I will catch up more later.
Thanks for being here, as always.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Thanks Dee,
I know you are right. I was just hoping for a better # on the weight, and the bp is higher, but not off the charts yet. Nothing to be too worried about.
Still, it bothers me. I expected more positive news today.
Have to keep at it though. This sucks, but gives me more determination to keep moving forward.
I expect things to happen quickly, when they don't, I get upset. Got to stay the course here.
TY
I know you are right. I was just hoping for a better # on the weight, and the bp is higher, but not off the charts yet. Nothing to be too worried about.
Still, it bothers me. I expected more positive news today.
Have to keep at it though. This sucks, but gives me more determination to keep moving forward.
I expect things to happen quickly, when they don't, I get upset. Got to stay the course here.
TY
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Max, I've gone thru some pretty big ups and downs. Just posting here and knowing everyone else "gets me" was sometimes what I needed to get thru the 'downs'. I am not feeling particularly chipper these past few days (lack of sunlight etc.). but I know it would be 1,000 times worse if I drank. Exercise ALWAYS helps.
Hang in there you are doing GREAT !!
Hang in there you are doing GREAT !!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Thanks Calichris,
Sunlight, what is that??
Just kidding, (somewhat) but we have to deal with many, dreary winter months where I live. I hate it. Sunlight is good for the body, and mind as well. Came across a sunlight lamp in one of those Harriet Carter books awhile back. Maybe I need to get one? Not a tanning one, just one to simulate the feel of the real sun.
Weather affects some peoples moods, I'm in that catagory.
Its always good to post here, just get it all out. I'm thankful for that.
If anyone here knows of great juicing receipies for losing weight, please feel free to share. Or direct me to the site.
I know things are not as I expected now, but I know in time, given I'm patient enough to see them through, things will improve. I have to believe that.
Thanks team.
Sunlight, what is that??
Just kidding, (somewhat) but we have to deal with many, dreary winter months where I live. I hate it. Sunlight is good for the body, and mind as well. Came across a sunlight lamp in one of those Harriet Carter books awhile back. Maybe I need to get one? Not a tanning one, just one to simulate the feel of the real sun.
Weather affects some peoples moods, I'm in that catagory.
Its always good to post here, just get it all out. I'm thankful for that.
If anyone here knows of great juicing receipies for losing weight, please feel free to share. Or direct me to the site.
I know things are not as I expected now, but I know in time, given I'm patient enough to see them through, things will improve. I have to believe that.
Thanks team.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Doing something you are so much better equipped to handle this baggage sober, hope it all sorts itself out and you can continue to enjoy life, you are doing so very well my friend, you can deal with things much more s rationally and with a better frame of mind, stay strong xxxx
Max I'm sorry things are hard at the moment, you have a lot going on. You are so sober and you are dealing with these things, and you have a plan of how to cope and get things together. How amazing is that? Six months ago the bottle would have been with you and would not have made it better. You are doing fantastically, keep going my friend! Gentle exercise will make you feel good, give you space to think, and eventually have a knock on effect with weight too, 6th are going to be fine, I have so much faith in you!
Glanton you inspire me, you are doing grand my dear, it's great that other people's drinking patterns help to reaffirm things to you, this is a very useful tool, and can be n found everywhere! Keep going, you are past 4 months now! ☺
I was at the beach bar last night chilling listening to a guitarist, and found myself checking out other people's tables. Guy next to me ordered a pint of whisky with ice saying 'I really like whisky so don't water it down'. When it came he was disputing the brand of whisky, so the server bought several bottles out to the beach for him to taste, he tasted them all twice before finally settling on his original choice. I think he thought he was being suave, educated in whisky, and quite elite here in this swanky resort. I thought he was arrogant, m ungrateful, showing off, and had no class. I really felt for the server, who rolled her eyes when she walked past me. I was noticing the sheer amount of deliveries the server was making to various tables and caught myself thinking, when my coke got down to half, sit I need to get their attention, I can't run out and have an empty glass. Obviously I then thought, i don't drink, I'm in control, I am no longer controlled by alcohol via puppet strings, a day if my glass is empty, so what? Fit tickled me, the habit panic!
Had a funny dream last night that I ordered a coke, drank most of it, a but the last mouthful was vodka, and it was my day 100 and I had had my drink spiked and it had ruined everything. Have woke up very relieved it was a dream.mi have been very aware this holiday about alcohol in my drinks, and have a avoided virg in cocktails just in case.
Have a great day Al, I wish you love, willpower, and of course, bug hugs xxx
Max I'm sorry things are hard at the moment, you have a lot going on. You are so sober and you are dealing with these things, and you have a plan of how to cope and get things together. How amazing is that? Six months ago the bottle would have been with you and would not have made it better. You are doing fantastically, keep going my friend! Gentle exercise will make you feel good, give you space to think, and eventually have a knock on effect with weight too, 6th are going to be fine, I have so much faith in you!
Glanton you inspire me, you are doing grand my dear, it's great that other people's drinking patterns help to reaffirm things to you, this is a very useful tool, and can be n found everywhere! Keep going, you are past 4 months now! ☺
I was at the beach bar last night chilling listening to a guitarist, and found myself checking out other people's tables. Guy next to me ordered a pint of whisky with ice saying 'I really like whisky so don't water it down'. When it came he was disputing the brand of whisky, so the server bought several bottles out to the beach for him to taste, he tasted them all twice before finally settling on his original choice. I think he thought he was being suave, educated in whisky, and quite elite here in this swanky resort. I thought he was arrogant, m ungrateful, showing off, and had no class. I really felt for the server, who rolled her eyes when she walked past me. I was noticing the sheer amount of deliveries the server was making to various tables and caught myself thinking, when my coke got down to half, sit I need to get their attention, I can't run out and have an empty glass. Obviously I then thought, i don't drink, I'm in control, I am no longer controlled by alcohol via puppet strings, a day if my glass is empty, so what? Fit tickled me, the habit panic!
Had a funny dream last night that I ordered a coke, drank most of it, a but the last mouthful was vodka, and it was my day 100 and I had had my drink spiked and it had ruined everything. Have woke up very relieved it was a dream.mi have been very aware this holiday about alcohol in my drinks, and have a avoided virg in cocktails just in case.
Have a great day Al, I wish you love, willpower, and of course, bug hugs xxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 169
Thank you for this group!
I am so happy to be a part of the A Team...
Just one thing I am kind of obsessed with today. There is a 68 year old woman here near Seattle who has "our" problem, and this past May was moving her car from the street into the driveway of her lakefront home after wine and ambien, and ended up killing her husband and son in law. She is being arraigned on December 19th, and will spend many years in jail.
Be it hurting or killing others, or having a terrible, debilitating fall that breaks bones or worse, I suppose I am considering it fortunate (don't believe in luck) that what I could have done, might have happened whilst drunk, didn't happen, and we are all here & thankfully able to move forward.
I guess just thoughtful that we could have really lost so much more...
I am so happy to be a part of the A Team...
Just one thing I am kind of obsessed with today. There is a 68 year old woman here near Seattle who has "our" problem, and this past May was moving her car from the street into the driveway of her lakefront home after wine and ambien, and ended up killing her husband and son in law. She is being arraigned on December 19th, and will spend many years in jail.
Be it hurting or killing others, or having a terrible, debilitating fall that breaks bones or worse, I suppose I am considering it fortunate (don't believe in luck) that what I could have done, might have happened whilst drunk, didn't happen, and we are all here & thankfully able to move forward.
I guess just thoughtful that we could have really lost so much more...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Max I am so with you on the mood thing. That's the thing I notice about sobriety, all moods are felt a little more. Even not so good ones. But, great ones are felt more too.
Pink, loved your whiskey story. I now crack up over thinking I was an IPA beer connoisseur. Basically the one with the most alcohol was the best. Really no different than malt liqueur at that point. Again, real suave right!
Paulina, you are spot on with how fortunate we all are. I read a book about blackouts a while back and how many people in jail have no memory of their crime. Wow. Can u imagine?
Other great posts yesterday, glandon, London, Chris, doing, rah, grateful, Hobbers, and others I cannot recall without looking again and I would lose this post! So, ghost saves and big thanks team!
4 months poison free for me today. When I look down the road now, I think I actually see that one year goal post that I did not think existed. I think I am gonna pick up my pace and sprint to that bad boy.
You guys with me?
Roll call in order today. Post a positive thing about alcohol free holidays.
Me, no regrets with not being fully present for my son.
Pink, loved your whiskey story. I now crack up over thinking I was an IPA beer connoisseur. Basically the one with the most alcohol was the best. Really no different than malt liqueur at that point. Again, real suave right!
Paulina, you are spot on with how fortunate we all are. I read a book about blackouts a while back and how many people in jail have no memory of their crime. Wow. Can u imagine?
Other great posts yesterday, glandon, London, Chris, doing, rah, grateful, Hobbers, and others I cannot recall without looking again and I would lose this post! So, ghost saves and big thanks team!
4 months poison free for me today. When I look down the road now, I think I actually see that one year goal post that I did not think existed. I think I am gonna pick up my pace and sprint to that bad boy.
You guys with me?
Roll call in order today. Post a positive thing about alcohol free holidays.
Me, no regrets with not being fully present for my son.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Oh yeah, clear eyes, I hear you on the boring thing too. It was totally an illusion that we thought we were more fun. Truth is, don't drunk people look a little ridiculous now? And you see how others look at them too. They looked at us that way, with our droopy drunk faces and killer dance moves. You are actually more fun to be around, just takes a few times to get comfortable going out again. Funny, I could so care less what others think now. I am going to have fun and treat holidays as a time to be thankful and celebrate life and friendships. And drive home and wake up shiny and mentally independent.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Good morning,
Just a quick post as I am off and running with a busy day ahead.
Glandon, I also have noticed the take-it-or-leave-it attitude of normal drinkers. Before, I was too preoccupied with how soon can I have my next drink without it looking obvious? How soon can I leave to drink all the way home? It was all about me and my drinking.
I have come to realize I am often bored in the evening which was my former drinking time. I have started doing more - now that I don't have to worry about real life cutting into my drinking stupor(or vice-versa.) I am considering signing up for a couple of courses at the local community college in January. It is such a freeing feeling to know I will be able to do that and not sit in a classroom worried about when I can start drinking - or worse, go to class with a buzz on and assume nobody could tell. The only thing I will have to worry about is ice and snow.
I am off to the 50 day walk/jog that I am tired of.
Have a great day everyone.
Just a quick post as I am off and running with a busy day ahead.
Glandon, I also have noticed the take-it-or-leave-it attitude of normal drinkers. Before, I was too preoccupied with how soon can I have my next drink without it looking obvious? How soon can I leave to drink all the way home? It was all about me and my drinking.
I have come to realize I am often bored in the evening which was my former drinking time. I have started doing more - now that I don't have to worry about real life cutting into my drinking stupor(or vice-versa.) I am considering signing up for a couple of courses at the local community college in January. It is such a freeing feeling to know I will be able to do that and not sit in a classroom worried about when I can start drinking - or worse, go to class with a buzz on and assume nobody could tell. The only thing I will have to worry about is ice and snow.
I am off to the 50 day walk/jog that I am tired of.
Have a great day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 130
Great posts Team A! Really enjoyed reading through them this morning. Love this group 
Scooter, I'm with you. It's amazing how much time we have on our sober hands to fill with anything we want. Productive or otherwise - just not self-destructive time wasting. Man we spent a lot of time wasted didn't we!!!
Scooter, I'm with you. It's amazing how much time we have on our sober hands to fill with anything we want. Productive or otherwise - just not self-destructive time wasting. Man we spent a lot of time wasted didn't we!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Answering Roll call..
Looking forward to being connected with my family (especially my wife and daughter) during the holidays (instead of needing to sneak my next drink and pretend to be sober over and over and over and over until I cannot hide it anymore -- oh so amazing to be FREE from that imprisonment !!!!! )
Looking forward to being connected with my family (especially my wife and daughter) during the holidays (instead of needing to sneak my next drink and pretend to be sober over and over and over and over until I cannot hide it anymore -- oh so amazing to be FREE from that imprisonment !!!!! )
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
I am so thankful that this group understands. I never realized how many people did the same things and how we all felt the same way - - waiting for the next drink, wondering how fast and/or how much we could drink in front of others, wondering when would be a socially acceptable time to leave a meeting or party to do some serious drinking, trying to act sober, assuming nobody guessed that we had already had a few drinks before arriving somewhere. I even put a trash bag of empty beer cans in my back seat when I literally drank and drove, so if I was stopped it would look like I was going to the recycling place.
The other day I found a stale package of gum in a pocket - - I always had mints and gum with me to mask my breath.....now, I can't tell you the last time I had either.
If you are struggling, PLEASE take my advice. Don't do what I did - - I basically wasted 25+ years of my life because I loved drinking...hated the way I looked, felt, isolated myself, had crazy dreams, ordered in greasy food at night, then ate a greasy fast food breakfast while shivering on my way to work; I could go on. I tried moderation or quitting at least 1000 times...nothing worked until I came across SR.
Today is my Day 115, thanks to all of you.
The other day I found a stale package of gum in a pocket - - I always had mints and gum with me to mask my breath.....now, I can't tell you the last time I had either.
If you are struggling, PLEASE take my advice. Don't do what I did - - I basically wasted 25+ years of my life because I loved drinking...hated the way I looked, felt, isolated myself, had crazy dreams, ordered in greasy food at night, then ate a greasy fast food breakfast while shivering on my way to work; I could go on. I tried moderation or quitting at least 1000 times...nothing worked until I came across SR.
Today is my Day 115, thanks to all of you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Determined 4 months is the stuff my dreams are made of! You are doing fantastically! Congratulations! I'm chasing you ☺
Positive post about an alcohol free holiday?
I remember every precious detail , no blurs or blackouts
I have woken up fresh every day, no hangover, just good memories of the night before
The bar bill tonight was a fiver, not 50 quid on wine and shots!
My first sober holiday in 15 years.....A massive achievement I wasn't sure I could commit to
Talking about and planning our future over massive coconut juice mocktails in actual coconuts on the beach next to the bonfire tonight was one of the most perfect moments of my life, and I get to share it with you wonderful beautiful people xxx
We are releasing lanterns on the beach tomorrow night with personal messages on them, I'm just trying to get my words together, there's a lot to say!
Love that I can be sober, love that the Av didn't win, love that today I win again. love that I wasn't boring and the evening didn't suck like the Av said. Today I am in control, hope you guys all are too x☺
Positive post about an alcohol free holiday?
I remember every precious detail , no blurs or blackouts
I have woken up fresh every day, no hangover, just good memories of the night before
The bar bill tonight was a fiver, not 50 quid on wine and shots!
My first sober holiday in 15 years.....A massive achievement I wasn't sure I could commit to
Talking about and planning our future over massive coconut juice mocktails in actual coconuts on the beach next to the bonfire tonight was one of the most perfect moments of my life, and I get to share it with you wonderful beautiful people xxx
We are releasing lanterns on the beach tomorrow night with personal messages on them, I'm just trying to get my words together, there's a lot to say!
Love that I can be sober, love that the Av didn't win, love that today I win again. love that I wasn't boring and the evening didn't suck like the Av said. Today I am in control, hope you guys all are too x☺
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Scooter that is a great post. Just look at you now girl, day115, that is immense I am damn proud. It amazes me the stories we all recognise and have in common, I feel a fool to think I was the only one, and how could we believe that others didn't notice? It's just so contrite! Yet we did. This groups has been an incredibly powerful factor in my sobriety. When i have a bad day, or cannot talk to real people, or need support, I come to you guys and you are always there. Bless you all.
Scooter, you are an inspiration ☺ day 116 for you tomorrow! Xxxx
Scooter, you are an inspiration ☺ day 116 for you tomorrow! Xxxx
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