One Year and Over Club Part 21
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Dot,
Sorry, having to stop and then come back to my posts. Life begins where angels daily tread. At least you know that you are the key to your own happiness, and your choice to give or receive love.
I used to have a lot of "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" about myself and others. Once I realized I was putting my "shoulds" on others, I began to see where I wäs still bearing up under the many "shoulds" of others. I made a deal with my wife before we both became alcoholics. I told her I won't "should" on her, if she would not "should" on me. Yes you can substitute the colloquialism for excremental byproducts for the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" we foist on one another. And ourselves.
I am sorry you feel so down on yourself and are feeling so alone. And that despite making some pretty spot on moves to alleviate some of that. This time of year we all can get a bit wistful for the days we were important enough to another to be taken care of, or miss the days we took care of another or more. If you truly want to raise a spirit in this world you can even if you aren't making the spirits yourself.
I have a dysfunctional family too. And long before I even had a problem with alcohol, I was glad to be stationed away where I could visit. My family is terrific taken in small doses. Like Ben Franklin's oft quoted saying about company and dead fish both beginning to stink after three days, my family is about the same.
Yes, we all like to remember we changed because we had to. But not really. We could have chosen to drink to death too. Many do. And we all know they knew it too.
No, we chose to not accept the consequences of drinking any more. The consequences of sobriety, learning to respect ourselves in order to respect others may take time, but is worth trying on for size. I cherish the mantle of my self respect. As do you, or you would not be here looking for love, in all the right places. I can't save you, but I CAN love you. And there isn't a thing you can do to stop me. I am unconditional in that. A well I ignore your condition to not allow it. Despite your thinking I "shouldn't."
Agape love l've learned has a taste, the unloved will never know. Take love. You'll find you had it the whole time. It was always in your heart you know. Your depression has no power to stop others from loving you either.
Sorry, having to stop and then come back to my posts. Life begins where angels daily tread. At least you know that you are the key to your own happiness, and your choice to give or receive love.
I used to have a lot of "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" about myself and others. Once I realized I was putting my "shoulds" on others, I began to see where I wäs still bearing up under the many "shoulds" of others. I made a deal with my wife before we both became alcoholics. I told her I won't "should" on her, if she would not "should" on me. Yes you can substitute the colloquialism for excremental byproducts for the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" we foist on one another. And ourselves.
I am sorry you feel so down on yourself and are feeling so alone. And that despite making some pretty spot on moves to alleviate some of that. This time of year we all can get a bit wistful for the days we were important enough to another to be taken care of, or miss the days we took care of another or more. If you truly want to raise a spirit in this world you can even if you aren't making the spirits yourself.
I have a dysfunctional family too. And long before I even had a problem with alcohol, I was glad to be stationed away where I could visit. My family is terrific taken in small doses. Like Ben Franklin's oft quoted saying about company and dead fish both beginning to stink after three days, my family is about the same.
Yes, we all like to remember we changed because we had to. But not really. We could have chosen to drink to death too. Many do. And we all know they knew it too.
No, we chose to not accept the consequences of drinking any more. The consequences of sobriety, learning to respect ourselves in order to respect others may take time, but is worth trying on for size. I cherish the mantle of my self respect. As do you, or you would not be here looking for love, in all the right places. I can't save you, but I CAN love you. And there isn't a thing you can do to stop me. I am unconditional in that. A well I ignore your condition to not allow it. Despite your thinking I "shouldn't."
Agape love l've learned has a taste, the unloved will never know. Take love. You'll find you had it the whole time. It was always in your heart you know. Your depression has no power to stop others from loving you either.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Oh and Dot, I forgot to mention that you got my respect and esteem the old fashioned way - you earned it. I've enjoyed reading all of your posts despite my own funk in the last month because I am an IDIOT! I wear my idiot's label gladly because I will have a few more decades of stereo and directional hearing. Not to mention the highs and lows my left ear is missing because it was the one closest to the gunfire all those years teaching on the military ranges daily as my job for the last 20 years of a 27 year career.
I am not lonely this time of year. Although I do remember fondly my childhood believing in Santa until I didn't. And then later knowing the gifts were really from my family.
And I remember having such joy at my own two boys ripping into it when they believed. And yes I wore the suit and fooled my nieces and nephew, they thought Santa lived at my house when he wasn't hanging out at the North pole.
You know, there are subtle lesson in this season beyond the obvious ones.
Unless possessed of evil parents, and some of them are, regardless of how good or bad we were throughout the year, (and usually I was very good from my perspective) we all usually got more than we sometimes thought we deserved. Or less if we were as self centered as children are at some point. We give/gave Santa credit, so our children truly thought they were deserving, and we who were nice also got the benefit of them just enjoying without being beholden to anyone they could resent for that.
Something to think about.
It is normal for singles and those who are lonely throughout the year, or are still young in their sobriety, to get a bad case of "shoulding" all over themselves.
I can remember many times when I envied people in jail because they had nothing to worry about and could lay around all day reading, and exercising. Then I realized that there were no private cells and that people get killed just for looking at someone the wrong way. There always has to be a downside it seems.
I cherished my job and my family. My immediate family daily, my parents and siblings a continent away. I have good and old friends. I've lost a few that I have loved too. I've always tried to make it known to my loved ones that they are loved. I had a lot of help along the way, from folks who encouraged me to be me. For years I felt like an outsider. Like I could not believe they would let me do the things they let me do. Let me be responsible for large organizations and small. And do all the fun things I loved - and actually pay me! I am a success! Drinking just gave me another challenge to overcome. Thankfully I whipped it just in time because I am convinced today I would be dead for at least two years had I not quit more than four years ago.
I believe in me and you, all of us here, after so many years of trying to get back here.
Thanks to all my friends here, I appreciate you!
I am not lonely this time of year. Although I do remember fondly my childhood believing in Santa until I didn't. And then later knowing the gifts were really from my family.
And I remember having such joy at my own two boys ripping into it when they believed. And yes I wore the suit and fooled my nieces and nephew, they thought Santa lived at my house when he wasn't hanging out at the North pole.
You know, there are subtle lesson in this season beyond the obvious ones.
Unless possessed of evil parents, and some of them are, regardless of how good or bad we were throughout the year, (and usually I was very good from my perspective) we all usually got more than we sometimes thought we deserved. Or less if we were as self centered as children are at some point. We give/gave Santa credit, so our children truly thought they were deserving, and we who were nice also got the benefit of them just enjoying without being beholden to anyone they could resent for that.
Something to think about.
It is normal for singles and those who are lonely throughout the year, or are still young in their sobriety, to get a bad case of "shoulding" all over themselves.
I can remember many times when I envied people in jail because they had nothing to worry about and could lay around all day reading, and exercising. Then I realized that there were no private cells and that people get killed just for looking at someone the wrong way. There always has to be a downside it seems.
I cherished my job and my family. My immediate family daily, my parents and siblings a continent away. I have good and old friends. I've lost a few that I have loved too. I've always tried to make it known to my loved ones that they are loved. I had a lot of help along the way, from folks who encouraged me to be me. For years I felt like an outsider. Like I could not believe they would let me do the things they let me do. Let me be responsible for large organizations and small. And do all the fun things I loved - and actually pay me! I am a success! Drinking just gave me another challenge to overcome. Thankfully I whipped it just in time because I am convinced today I would be dead for at least two years had I not quit more than four years ago.
I believe in me and you, all of us here, after so many years of trying to get back here.
Thanks to all my friends here, I appreciate you!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Oh no!
Santa might be late!
Earlier I told him it was time to work as tonight is the night. He's getting old and hard of hearing - he thought I said it was time to twerk!
It was not a pretty sight:
For my friends in the Southern Hemisphere, we know with no snow Santa has to deliver a bit differently:
Santa might be late!
Earlier I told him it was time to work as tonight is the night. He's getting old and hard of hearing - he thought I said it was time to twerk!
It was not a pretty sight:
For my friends in the Southern Hemisphere, we know with no snow Santa has to deliver a bit differently:
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,683
Merry Christmas Overs, I hope today brings us all peace and happiness.
Itchy, I love the fisherman story. Dorothy, sorry you're feeling down, I hope tonight gives you some respite.
Pressies for everyone, whichever you chose will be the right one for you. (Sorry, I've gone into silly mode, waiting patiently for hubby to wake to share presents)
Itchy, I love the fisherman story. Dorothy, sorry you're feeling down, I hope tonight gives you some respite.
Pressies for everyone, whichever you chose will be the right one for you. (Sorry, I've gone into silly mode, waiting patiently for hubby to wake to share presents)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North. Where it snows.
Posts: 702
Itchy, you wrote some beautiful wise words, thank you, I cherish these: "If you truly want to raise a spirit in this world you can even if you aren't making the spirits yourself. " It's a Christmas gift along with the other pearls you wrote like the should haves and Agape and depression not needing to be in the way of it...
Have a wonderful Christmas everyone, it's 2am , just got home, the highways were full of cars going home like it was rush hour.
Drake and MidnightBlue, I see you lurking. Come and say hi
.
Toots and everyone in Europe, Hi there!!! You're having your morning coffee probably just now.
xoxoxo
Happy Christmas,
Dottie
x
Have a wonderful Christmas everyone, it's 2am , just got home, the highways were full of cars going home like it was rush hour.
Drake and MidnightBlue, I see you lurking. Come and say hi
. Toots and everyone in Europe, Hi there!!! You're having your morning coffee probably just now.
xoxoxo
Happy Christmas,
Dottie
x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,508
Originally Posted by dorothyparker 
You too Venuscat, how was yours? Is it over yet?
I'm almost anxious for things to get back to normal.
PS: where can I find some sweet hearts as smileys ?
I'm almost anxious for things to get back to normal.
PS: where can I find some sweet hearts as smileys ?
I hit the Alt key and the 3 key to get my smiley hearts...it works on some systems and not others. ♥♥
Merry Christmas Drake!
♥And Mags....and everyone.
And nef ~ you are so sweet, and I wish you would pop by more often.
V xx
Sober date 5/1/13
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 3,547
Good Christmas morning Overs.
I'm sitting here wearing my Christmas socks given to me by DD13 they say 'Best Dad'
Had a good visit from my Mum & Dad yesterday off to the in laws today.
Have a good day everyone.
I'm sitting here wearing my Christmas socks given to me by DD13 they say 'Best Dad'
Had a good visit from my Mum & Dad yesterday off to the in laws today.
Have a good day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
merry-christmas-thechive-79.jpg
Christmas morning in Berlin. It's actually a nice, clear morning, a Christmas miracle! It's been cold and rainy for days. I have Air Bn'B guests, a young couple from Greece staying in my roommate's room. Last night at 9pm (21:00, when will I ever get used to that?) I decided that I wanted to make pancakes for breakfast, so went on a hunt for flour and baking powder. Found the flour, not the powder, so we'll see what I can whip up. I'll make eggs and toast too. Going to head out and wander the city I think. I walked for hours yesterday, just enjoying the Christmas vibe, Berlin really is such a beautiful city. By chance I was at the Church of Reconciliation when they did their service, but I was one of the last ones in and it was so crowded I had to leave. I got to see some little kids dressed as shepherds though . I ended up in a Nighthawks at the Diner type bar, it was very cool, I just wrote in my journal for hours. There was a German woman there alone, drinking wine, she was pretty drunk, ended up leaving with a young traveller guy, she just really wanted to go have some fun and go to a bar where she could smoke. It was sad. I remember being like that, looking for excitement, needing to have the 'most fun time possible'. Ending up hanging out in questionable places, doing questionable things, with complete strangers. I sort of came to terms with being on my own last night. I'm kind of glad. It's such a unique experience. So much heavy reflection.
Itchy, Gilmer, thanks for the advice. You're right, I keep forgetting that this is supposed to be an adventure, and my time here is finite. I feel like I'm just getting used to Berlin now, but is that what I want? I didn't come here to settle and start a new life. I came here to experience different things.
Dot, Merry Christmas to you. I'm sorry you're lonely. Just get through it, what can I say? It's one day of the year that makes people who aren't surrounded by family and/or friends feel like crap about themselves. F$* Christmas!!!! It should be called "Happy Family Celebration/Rub it in others' faces Day". Like Valentines and singles. Except Christmas is harder because it hits much deeper. Me, it's one more year that my mom and me don't talk.
Venus--I'm listening to my Charlie Brown Christmas album right now! My favourite Xmas album, always will be.
Merry Christmas everyone. Please find a way to be happy today, just for yourself, be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you need forgiveness for.
I am very thankful for all of you today.
Christmas morning in Berlin. It's actually a nice, clear morning, a Christmas miracle! It's been cold and rainy for days. I have Air Bn'B guests, a young couple from Greece staying in my roommate's room. Last night at 9pm (21:00, when will I ever get used to that?) I decided that I wanted to make pancakes for breakfast, so went on a hunt for flour and baking powder. Found the flour, not the powder, so we'll see what I can whip up. I'll make eggs and toast too.
Going to head out and wander the city I think. I walked for hours yesterday, just enjoying the Christmas vibe, Berlin really is such a beautiful city. By chance I was at the Church of Reconciliation when they did their service, but I was one of the last ones in and it was so crowded I had to leave. I got to see some little kids dressed as shepherds though . I ended up in a Nighthawks at the Diner type bar, it was very cool, I just wrote in my journal for hours. There was a German woman there alone, drinking wine, she was pretty drunk, ended up leaving with a young traveller guy, she just really wanted to go have some fun and go to a bar where she could smoke. It was sad. I remember being like that, looking for excitement, needing to have the 'most fun time possible'. Ending up hanging out in questionable places, doing questionable things, with complete strangers. I sort of came to terms with being on my own last night. I'm kind of glad. It's such a unique experience. So much heavy reflection.Itchy, Gilmer, thanks for the advice. You're right, I keep forgetting that this is supposed to be an adventure, and my time here is finite. I feel like I'm just getting used to Berlin now, but is that what I want? I didn't come here to settle and start a new life. I came here to experience different things.
Dot, Merry Christmas to you. I'm sorry you're lonely. Just get through it, what can I say? It's one day of the year that makes people who aren't surrounded by family and/or friends feel like crap about themselves. F$* Christmas!!!! It should be called "Happy Family Celebration/Rub it in others' faces Day". Like Valentines and singles. Except Christmas is harder because it hits much deeper. Me, it's one more year that my mom and me don't talk.
Venus--I'm listening to my Charlie Brown Christmas album right now! My favourite Xmas album, always will be.
Merry Christmas everyone. Please find a way to be happy today, just for yourself, be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you need forgiveness for.
I am very thankful for all of you today.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Oh it was like opening a beautiful stocking today to come and see so many messages from so many of the Over family dropping in before ( or after) the festivities get underway!
LSC I hope you had a great time,
You to Venus Kitty.
Dottie my sweet friend, you had to endure so much last year, I was so glad to be your friend and be there for you. Don't forget me now, I am still on all the usual contacts and would love to share a little of your Christmas, and share some of mine with you.
MB how are you doing? How is the jaw? When will you be able to spar again?! I do hope you are well, let's keep in touch better love, I miss you too!
Drake, the thing I miss most about not being forced to church is the christmas services. I loved the carols and the excited children, but don't do the God thing!
Itchy I love the dripolator, I had one of them for years. Now I use an over-the-cup thingy as I am the only one who drinks coffee and if I do a jug it stews before I get to it. I drink Hot Larva Java every morning, a robust high caffeine blend ( measures 6 on the strength scale) without it I can't wake up! As to the envy, it's not that I envy them drinking, just that they can rink without the repercussions I would have if I did. Most of the time I really don't notice what or whether those around me are drinking.
Hi Mags how are you feeling now?
Andy, happy christmas to you too honey.
Zip, good to hear from you,
You too instant, are you still cycling a lot?
IP I hope the pancakes turned out okay! Enjoy Christmas. I feel for that poor woman in the café lonely and desperate to have 'fun'. Not much fun to be had in desperation is there?
Gilmer I hope your Christmas goes well, who all do you have there this year?
Hi Carlos I hope you enjoy Hannukka
Wolfie, I hope your ear eases enough to have a wonderful Christmas with Mrs Wolfie and I hope your brother makes it sober through the festivities.
FBL I know that this won't be a joyous year for you all, but I hope the quiet celebration of life and faith finds a place of contentment in your grief.
Dee I wish you the absolute best that the festivities can bring
My friends new and old, if I didn't mention you by name, my grovelling apologies, I love you nonetheless. You all in different ways have been there when I have needed company, words of wisdom, comfort, or a hand to hold. For that you are priceless. Thank you all
Merry Christmas my Friends
LSC I hope you had a great time,
You to Venus Kitty.
Dottie my sweet friend, you had to endure so much last year, I was so glad to be your friend and be there for you. Don't forget me now, I am still on all the usual contacts and would love to share a little of your Christmas, and share some of mine with you.
MB how are you doing? How is the jaw? When will you be able to spar again?! I do hope you are well, let's keep in touch better love, I miss you too!
Drake, the thing I miss most about not being forced to church is the christmas services. I loved the carols and the excited children, but don't do the God thing!
Itchy I love the dripolator, I had one of them for years. Now I use an over-the-cup thingy as I am the only one who drinks coffee and if I do a jug it stews before I get to it. I drink Hot Larva Java every morning, a robust high caffeine blend ( measures 6 on the strength scale) without it I can't wake up! As to the envy, it's not that I envy them drinking, just that they can rink without the repercussions I would have if I did. Most of the time I really don't notice what or whether those around me are drinking.
Hi Mags how are you feeling now?
Andy, happy christmas to you too honey.
Zip, good to hear from you,
You too instant, are you still cycling a lot?
IP I hope the pancakes turned out okay! Enjoy Christmas. I feel for that poor woman in the café lonely and desperate to have 'fun'. Not much fun to be had in desperation is there?
Gilmer I hope your Christmas goes well, who all do you have there this year?
Hi Carlos I hope you enjoy Hannukka
Wolfie, I hope your ear eases enough to have a wonderful Christmas with Mrs Wolfie and I hope your brother makes it sober through the festivities.
FBL I know that this won't be a joyous year for you all, but I hope the quiet celebration of life and faith finds a place of contentment in your grief.
Dee I wish you the absolute best that the festivities can bring
My friends new and old, if I didn't mention you by name, my grovelling apologies, I love you nonetheless. You all in different ways have been there when I have needed company, words of wisdom, comfort, or a hand to hold. For that you are priceless. Thank you all
Merry Christmas my Friends
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