Class of April 2014 Part 17
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 361
freein, it's really funny that you mentioned brene brown the other day. I've been reading her book gifts of imperfection and I feel like while I usually avoid "self help" type books I've been thinking a lot about the book and trying to put it into action. That's where a lot of my talk of finding my spiritual side was coming from so good catch! I know that I need a little more gratitude in my life to fight the discomfort 
obo, I too am in a place that doesn't feel like "home" but am doing the best to stay positive about where I am. Sometimes I look around and I'm like how did I end up in this ridiculous place, but jobs, you know? Sounds like life is pretty good otherwise though! Enjoy the paid leave and hope the knee is well.
topspin, the biking sounds great! I long for a bike. I got one stolen years ago and haven't gotten myself together to get a new one. It can be hard to go easy on the exercise I find when biking (or in my case rollerblading) can be so much fun! Until you hobble around the next day realizing you overdid it...Hope the cold is better!
Mariah, glad your mom is doing well. Good luck with the meeting later this week! Sounds like things are going a little smoother after a rough weekend. Glad you made it through
izzy, up, luce, chick, adna, soli and everyone else, hope all is well this week!
I'm at the beginning of dreaded finals week. So far I've made appointments, organized my pens, made myself dinner, done some laundry... everything I can do to not study. Oh and catch up on here I guess! Only one exam left Thursday though, so almost there. Feeling good about things. Got my cranky boyfriend who decided to quit smoking this week, but happy to be there for him for a change while he works to kick a bad habit. A lot of stress as always, but definitely feeling more at peace in many ways than I have in awhile. Happy week!
obo, I too am in a place that doesn't feel like "home" but am doing the best to stay positive about where I am. Sometimes I look around and I'm like how did I end up in this ridiculous place, but jobs, you know? Sounds like life is pretty good otherwise though! Enjoy the paid leave and hope the knee is well.
topspin, the biking sounds great! I long for a bike. I got one stolen years ago and haven't gotten myself together to get a new one. It can be hard to go easy on the exercise I find when biking (or in my case rollerblading) can be so much fun! Until you hobble around the next day realizing you overdid it...Hope the cold is better!
Mariah, glad your mom is doing well. Good luck with the meeting later this week! Sounds like things are going a little smoother after a rough weekend. Glad you made it through
izzy, up, luce, chick, adna, soli and everyone else, hope all is well this week!
I'm at the beginning of dreaded finals week. So far I've made appointments, organized my pens, made myself dinner, done some laundry... everything I can do to not study. Oh and catch up on here I guess! Only one exam left Thursday though, so almost there. Feeling good about things. Got my cranky boyfriend who decided to quit smoking this week, but happy to be there for him for a change while he works to kick a bad habit. A lot of stress as always, but definitely feeling more at peace in many ways than I have in awhile. Happy week!
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
You're going to do great this week Rocks!! You sound good & so glad to see you here
I'm a little "aggravated" tonight.....The lady that did my intake appointment last week called me today (was surprised about that as she said it might be 3 weeks), she said that my information was reviewed & they felt that my intake of alcohol (told her I recently had 90 days of sobriety & that I've had a lot of sobriety over this last year) was such that they will not see me for counseling at this time....suggested I might do a alcohol program....F#** that....I have completed a program, was worthless & obviously didn't "fix" things for me. I am angry that I reached out for some counseling , telling them I felt like I'm holding on by a thread sometimes, my anxiety is affecting my job, how much I want sobriety but need some help & feel that they just shut the door on my face. I will call & talk to her a little more in the am (I was at work & just stepped outside for a minute to talk to her). I'm OK tonight...fixing a good dinner & going to the gym & plan on lifting heavy duty tonight to release this "anger" I feel about all of this. Thought it would help to vent here. Thanks
I'm a little "aggravated" tonight.....The lady that did my intake appointment last week called me today (was surprised about that as she said it might be 3 weeks), she said that my information was reviewed & they felt that my intake of alcohol (told her I recently had 90 days of sobriety & that I've had a lot of sobriety over this last year) was such that they will not see me for counseling at this time....suggested I might do a alcohol program....F#** that....I have completed a program, was worthless & obviously didn't "fix" things for me. I am angry that I reached out for some counseling , telling them I felt like I'm holding on by a thread sometimes, my anxiety is affecting my job, how much I want sobriety but need some help & feel that they just shut the door on my face. I will call & talk to her a little more in the am (I was at work & just stepped outside for a minute to talk to her). I'm OK tonight...fixing a good dinner & going to the gym & plan on lifting heavy duty tonight to release this "anger" I feel about all of this. Thought it would help to vent here. Thanks
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Afternoon Fools,
Hope all are well!
Thanks for the well wishes!!!!
The 1st test in the cricket is on and I've found a live stream. So the sunny afternoon sitting/laying on the couch, cans of coke and salad!
After the surgery I've been a bit groggy had forgotten to tick the days off as the come and go. This had been a major emotional/psychological part of the day. My AV had started up again too, with friends and family coming to HK for xmas. I tick a 28 day box sheet off in a different colour, which is stuck to the wall in our bedroom. I'n on pink....
So the moral for Obo is vigilance and awareness. As I've missed about 10 days in ticking off the rest of the brown calendar my Av has been creating scenarios and romanticizing about beer and drinking it with friends and family....
I'm on day 229, which is just incredible when I read back to my first posts.
It's really due to the Fools and the threads and support and true understanding that I've been able to manage this. It's by far the best therapy and introspective journey I've ever been on!
If we stick together and keep posting then we all will come through whatever barriers we face in our own time, with no pressure or expectation.
stay tuned................
Hope all are well!
Thanks for the well wishes!!!!
The 1st test in the cricket is on and I've found a live stream. So the sunny afternoon sitting/laying on the couch, cans of coke and salad!
After the surgery I've been a bit groggy had forgotten to tick the days off as the come and go. This had been a major emotional/psychological part of the day. My AV had started up again too, with friends and family coming to HK for xmas. I tick a 28 day box sheet off in a different colour, which is stuck to the wall in our bedroom. I'n on pink....
So the moral for Obo is vigilance and awareness. As I've missed about 10 days in ticking off the rest of the brown calendar my Av has been creating scenarios and romanticizing about beer and drinking it with friends and family....
I'm on day 229, which is just incredible when I read back to my first posts.
It's really due to the Fools and the threads and support and true understanding that I've been able to manage this. It's by far the best therapy and introspective journey I've ever been on!
If we stick together and keep posting then we all will come through whatever barriers we face in our own time, with no pressure or expectation.
stay tuned................
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Wow Obo...229 days FABULOUS!! Keep on going & don't look back.....I promise, there is nothing....absolutely nothing good in it. I'm with you, that this site....all of you, have been a great support & help to me.
Mom's appointment went well today & glad that I could be there with her....so proud of her for giving up her ciggys.....
FABULOUS!! Keep on going & don't look back.....I promise, there is nothing....absolutely nothing good in it. I'm with you, that this site....all of you, have been a great support & help to me.Mom's appointment went well today & glad that I could be there with her....so proud of her for giving up her ciggys.....
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Hey everyone.
Good luck with your finals rocks, I think you will do fine.
Mariah, I hope they change their minds about the counseling.
Obo ... great job on 229 days.
I don't know what day I'm on, just know that it'll be 8 months on Saturday the 13th.
I've been nicotine free for 2 1/2 weeks and I still want a cigarette.
I might have picked a bad time of year to quit but, I'm not giving up without a fight.
Don't know why but I've been lying here in bed for 2 1/2 hours yawning away but can't seem to fall asleep.
Have a great night / day everyone.
Good luck with your finals rocks, I think you will do fine.
Mariah, I hope they change their minds about the counseling.
Obo ... great job on 229 days.
I don't know what day I'm on, just know that it'll be 8 months on Saturday the 13th.
I've been nicotine free for 2 1/2 weeks and I still want a cigarette.
I might have picked a bad time of year to quit but, I'm not giving up without a fight. Don't know why but I've been lying here in bed for 2 1/2 hours yawning away but can't seem to fall asleep.
Have a great night / day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Mariah,
Did the workout help tonight ?
They occasionally seem to work miracles for me when life gets a little too stressful. Just having that time to review everything, ....and ask myself a few questions like " what's the worst case scenario " if this or that doesn't pan out the way I'd like it to.
Glad you were able to be there for her and hearing that your mom's appt. went well today !
Rocks, ...good luck with the Thur. final. Bike thieves are a special scourge ( in my O, anyway )
I had the same experience and it took almost 3 years to get another bike. Wish I would've taken even more time to get a replacement, ...since the one jacked apparently fit me better than I realized at the time. Have you gone to a skating rink yet with your rollerblades ?
We found an underground parking area that was so..ooooo fun but entirely too small. ....blading on a hard glassy finish feels better than ice skating !?!!
Obo, .....Dee and Mariah are so right about the actual drinking not offering much outside of a delusion for me. Sort of the " good from far, far from good " paradigm !?
Izzy, ...glad to hear y'all managed Thanksgiving with flying colors.
Sometimes those gatherings can parody a stage play. Around my crazy family, anyway
Thanks for the well wishes everyone, .....my colds just seem to last 7 days no matter what.
Did the workout help tonight ?
They occasionally seem to work miracles for me when life gets a little too stressful. Just having that time to review everything, ....and ask myself a few questions like " what's the worst case scenario " if this or that doesn't pan out the way I'd like it to.
Glad you were able to be there for her and hearing that your mom's appt. went well today !
Rocks, ...good luck with the Thur. final. Bike thieves are a special scourge ( in my O, anyway )
I had the same experience and it took almost 3 years to get another bike. Wish I would've taken even more time to get a replacement, ...since the one jacked apparently fit me better than I realized at the time. Have you gone to a skating rink yet with your rollerblades ?
We found an underground parking area that was so..ooooo fun but entirely too small. ....blading on a hard glassy finish feels better than ice skating !?!!
Obo, .....Dee and Mariah are so right about the actual drinking not offering much outside of a delusion for me. Sort of the " good from far, far from good " paradigm !?
Izzy, ...glad to hear y'all managed Thanksgiving with flying colors.
Sometimes those gatherings can parody a stage play. Around my crazy family, anyway
Thanks for the well wishes everyone, .....my colds just seem to last 7 days no matter what.
Last edited by Dee74; 12-09-2014 at 02:41 PM.
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
TS....it was great! I haven't done anything in the way of exercise for a month now & quickly packed on some weight & lost muscle tone. I am a little sore this am, but ready to go again tonight Put some new tunes on my IPOD last night & I'm ready to roll!
Sure hope you were able to get some good sleep UP!
Put some new tunes on my IPOD last night & I'm ready to roll!Sure hope you were able to get some good sleep UP!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hope your finals go well on Thursday Rocks.
Mariah, I'm pleased to hear that your Mum is feeling much better, and giving up smoking too. What a star she is!
Tops, I'm joining you with a cold of my own! I think it's been brewing for a while. 7 days sounds about right for my immune system to kick it in to touch too. It's a good excuse for lots of early night's with a hot water bottle (and I was able to avoid doing the dishes tonight, so there are some benefits).
Anyway I'm taking my sore throat up to bed now, so see you all tomorrow.
Mariah, I'm pleased to hear that your Mum is feeling much better, and giving up smoking too. What a star she is!
Tops, I'm joining you with a cold of my own! I think it's been brewing for a while. 7 days sounds about right for my immune system to kick it in to touch too. It's a good excuse for lots of early night's with a hot water bottle (and I was able to avoid doing the dishes tonight, so there are some benefits).
Anyway I'm taking my sore throat up to bed now, so see you all tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 361
Mariah, so sorry to hear about that intake lady. How awful! You're asking for help and they're arbitrarily turning you away? Counseling intakes don't make any sense. I'm having a similar but different problem in that I'm trying to schedule a psychiatric assessment and they called me back saying that they needed all of my medical records for the last five years before they'll even book an appointment (which already has a three week wait). Sometimes I feel like those places are all crazy bureaucracy. It's like they don't want you to come in for help... I hope that you can get something figured out with them. And glad your mom's appt went well!
Congrats on 229 obo! How amazing! I agree with what Dee said. Don't let the AV make you forget that freedom!
Up, I wish you luck with both the insomnia and the cigarettes. 2 weeks is amazing!
topspin, I haven't been to the rink yet but I really want to!! It's hard to find big stretches of smooth ground. And I love ice skating too but being in the desert, it's hard to find ice, haha.
free, I hope you feel better!
I faced another one of my fears today and finally went in for a GI referral. I've been having terrible acid reflux that began around my drinking but even with less drinking, the damn reflux won't go away. Sometimes I have this nagging fear I've done permanent damage. But that's what going to the GI doctor is for! I've been too afraid to begin to get it looked at, so this is a good first step. Anyway, back to the studying. Thanks for all the well wishes for Thursday! Can't wait til finals are over.
Congrats on 229 obo! How amazing! I agree with what Dee said. Don't let the AV make you forget that freedom!
Up, I wish you luck with both the insomnia and the cigarettes. 2 weeks is amazing!
topspin, I haven't been to the rink yet but I really want to!! It's hard to find big stretches of smooth ground. And I love ice skating too but being in the desert, it's hard to find ice, haha.
free, I hope you feel better!
I faced another one of my fears today and finally went in for a GI referral. I've been having terrible acid reflux that began around my drinking but even with less drinking, the damn reflux won't go away. Sometimes I have this nagging fear I've done permanent damage. But that's what going to the GI doctor is for! I've been too afraid to begin to get it looked at, so this is a good first step. Anyway, back to the studying. Thanks for all the well wishes for Thursday! Can't wait til finals are over.
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
I called the counselor that did the intake this am & let her know I was not happy with their decision, how hard I have been working on my sobriety, how important it is to me & she said that she will discuss it with "the others" tomorrow morning & get back with me.
I am exhausted tonight but going to will myself to the gym for a bit.
Hope that you get your appointment with GI Doc & that it is something that can be remedied with some medication or diet. Keep up the good work with your studies
I am exhausted tonight but going to will myself to the gym for a bit.
Hope that you get your appointment with GI Doc & that it is something that can be remedied with some medication or diet. Keep up the good work with your studies
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Mariah, I'm glad you called the intake people back, they need to know how hard you've already worked, and that you're serious about this. The fact that you've got right back to them will tell them a lot about your commitment. I hope they're able to help.
Rocks, great to hear your also making your health a priority. I hope your Dr. Appt is helpful.
Just 2 weeks to go before I'm off on my Christmas break from work. I love this time of year. I'm an avid new years resolution maker. My resolutions always include "stop drinking", but hey, I've actually done that already, how great it will be to have space for a different resolution this year.
Have a great sober day everyone.
Rocks, great to hear your also making your health a priority. I hope your Dr. Appt is helpful.
Just 2 weeks to go before I'm off on my Christmas break from work. I love this time of year. I'm an avid new years resolution maker. My resolutions always include "stop drinking", but hey, I've actually done that already, how great it will be to have space for a different resolution this year.
Have a great sober day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by freein14 
..... I love this time of year. I'm an avid new years resolution maker. My resolutions always include "stop drinking", but hey, I've actually done that already, how great it will be to have space for a different resolution this year.
.
Wow, just think how the probabilities have sky rocketed to follow through this year !?
.... Better be careful what I wish for , .....because I'll probably get it !???
Rocks, ....hopefully it's just a diet related thing, ...like I had with wheat causing such incredible joint pain and inflammation for decades.
Mariah, ....good work getting right back in touch,....squeaky wheels and such.
Up, ...big props to you man, ...like Freein, ..you won't have to include nixing tobacco come January.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Well free ... I guess a resolution that I'm going to have to get used to is spending the rest of my life alone. Texted my kids on Thanksgiving and texted my oldest Tuesday to wish her a happy birthday, never got an answer from any of them. Not even a screw you or goto hell.
If it's God's will I guess I can't fight it but I'm wondering why I bothered to get clean. Not like I'm gaining anything.
Hope you all are doing better.
If it's God's will I guess I can't fight it but I'm wondering why I bothered to get clean. Not like I'm gaining anything.
Hope you all are doing better.
❤️
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
That has to hurt Up & I'm so sorry for that.....they are still young and it may take some time, but YOU are worth it! Keep doing what your doing & my guess good things will come to you this New Year!
Freein,.....I think it is fabulous that you are headed into the New Year with a great chunk of sobriety! I wish I would have stayed the course & could say the same, but by next year this time
Freein,.....I think it is fabulous that you are headed into the New Year with a great chunk of sobriety! I wish I would have stayed the course & could say the same, but by next year this time
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Things do change over time Up. Relationships can be repaired.
I would never have expected the good things that have happened to me over the last 12 months.
I thought I was done with change...but nope
Don't lose yourself to despair or self pity - the story's not done yet
D
I would never have expected the good things that have happened to me over the last 12 months.
I thought I was done with change...but nope
Don't lose yourself to despair or self pity - the story's not done yet
D
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Thing is Mariah, they aren't that young .... 24, 20 and 13.
It just seems like everything that is special to me, I seem to find a way to screw it up. Except for my ex, she was special to me but I wasn't special to her.
Maybe I'm just reaping what I've sowed. Shrug
It just seems like everything that is special to me, I seem to find a way to screw it up. Except for my ex, she was special to me but I wasn't special to her.
Maybe I'm just reaping what I've sowed. Shrug
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