Conquest

Venus, I have not lived through what you have experienced, but I know that the past isn't that far behind us. I'm glad you posted instead of retreating. And I'm excited for your coursework! Juggling school, work, and family issues is really tough, but it will be worth it. Plus, there will be no time to drink for sure!

Unfortunately, I've been up since 3:00 and can't get back to sleep. It was an emotional weekend and I think I may take a day from work to rest myself. I feel like I've been staying strong for my family, but now a little overwhelmed by it all and may just need some time alone to process and regroup. Or, it may help to go to work and get my mind off of family for a bit... I don't know. What I DO know is this: insomnia stinks. Lol

venuscat

I think if you can take a day off at this point Conquest, it may well be a good idea.
As someone who pushes herself too hard, i know too well that there is a breaking point.
And we need to look after ourselves here.

If you are comfortable with the decision to take a day, relax and pamper yourself a little.
If you feel you need to go to work, take it easy love.

V xx

Conquest

Thanks, V. I have to go in for a bit, but think that I'll head home early.

What would I do without ya, girl?
I hope you're getting some time for yourself as well.

venuscat

I have tons of time for me ~ really.
I am not married or even dating anyone now, and no kidlets.
Really, I am spoiled with me time.

Just take care of yourself love. Grieving is hard.

V xx

Sparkos

Thanks for all the private messages and the outreaching in your posts.

This obviously isn't working.

It's just typical me. I do fantastically well for a while then bang. What else can I do? The 12 step program just gets my back up. I've had counselling. Stayed in residential care. I wish I could capture that moment just before it happens and just not take that drink.
I don't get cravings, I absolutely have no desire to drink, I understand completely that that first drink invariably ends in disaster. It all sounds so easy as I type here now. Just don't take that first drink.

SR has been the greatest tool I've yet discovered to fight my addiction, so I'll try and stick with it.

It's a great comfort to me that most of you are doing well and "things" are happening in your life again.

I WILL stay in touch.

venuscat

Oh Sparkos! So glad you are here....but please do more than stay in touch.
You can analyse later, just let us be there for you NOW!

Whatever it takes....if this, us, SR can help you here, let us carry you right now.
Let us be your strength.
We love you.
We want only the best for you.

V xx

Dee74

I wrote this to someone else but I think it applies here too Sparkos

If you wait for a good time to quit it may never come. There's always gonna be a kid sick, or a bad back, or some jerk at work...

sometime you have to draw a line and resolve not to react in the same old way and try and tough it out sober.

You'll find that doing that is not half as bad as you've convinced yourself it is

I know the power of triggers. But I also know we can chose not to pick up the gun and fire.

I really hope this is your turning point Sparkos.
D

Sparkos

Thanks my Aussie buddies.

I really hope this is my turning point too.

I have noticed recently that I'm far more short-tempered than I used to be. Good that I've noticed and had it pointed out to me. Of course I can not over-react and tough it out sober; I simply HAVE to.

I'm also quite lazy. So to that end I'm going to repair a windowbox that was damaged during a recent storm.

thanks again. Later.

Dee74

We all start of short tempered and irritable...then we stop being irritable and cranky...it's a finite short term thing Sparkos - not our new default.

Give it 3 months (maybe even sooner) and the roller coaster ride gets a lot calmer

D

Conquest

(((Sparkos))) I miss ya, friend! And I hope you'll lean on us a bit. Lotsa love your way

Dee74

time for me to hit the sack - please join us for a new thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-7-a.html

D