Class of August 2014 Part 13
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I'd be pretty upset, penkins.
I'd probably try and leave it until you can discuss it calmly and then remind him of the deal.
The important thing tho, the vital thing here - is don't drink over it. You can sort this out sober
D
I'd probably try and leave it until you can discuss it calmly and then remind him of the deal.
The important thing tho, the vital thing here - is don't drink over it. You can sort this out sober
D
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Originally Posted by penkins 
Nice Pink!
Ok guys. I am sooo f'ing pissed off right I am either going to scream and physically beat the **** out of my husband or Im going to get drunk and keep it in.
I am shaking i am soo pissed. And so angry and hurt that i am hiding in the bathroom crying.
Ok guys. I am sooo f'ing pissed off right I am either going to scream and physically beat the **** out of my husband or Im going to get drunk and keep it in.
I am shaking i am soo pissed. And so angry and hurt that i am hiding in the bathroom crying.
Can you give us an overview of the situation?
Whoops- just saw you posted. Give me time to digest it.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 182
Penkins you have every right to be upset. I would be too. Don't drink on it though. I've done it to get through tough times, and it's only made things worse. Drink never helps to solve a problem, it adds more problems.
You can get through this.
You can get through this.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
OK. I've got my thinking cap on.
I'm voting for neither getting drunk, keeping it in, or going after your husband.
Full Disclosure: my wife and I have a joint bank account and share decisions on big purchases so I can only comment on how I'd feel, not how I've felt.
I would be annoyed if we kept separate accounts, I was 'floating' her (and therefore 'us') and then she ended up making luxury purchases when I was counting on her to make me (and therefore 'us') whole.
Perhaps the initial step is to talk with your husband and outline your concerns and get his take on the situation. Long term, perhaps you two can come up with a plan to ensure you each feel you are contributing equitably to running the household. The goal is for neither of you to resent the other for purchases or contributions / lack of contributions to the overall welfare of the house.
This is a perfect example of how drinking or keeping this inside will not solve the overall issue. But, there are steps you can take to begin working on the situation.
I'm voting for neither getting drunk, keeping it in, or going after your husband.
Full Disclosure: my wife and I have a joint bank account and share decisions on big purchases so I can only comment on how I'd feel, not how I've felt.
I would be annoyed if we kept separate accounts, I was 'floating' her (and therefore 'us') and then she ended up making luxury purchases when I was counting on her to make me (and therefore 'us') whole.
Perhaps the initial step is to talk with your husband and outline your concerns and get his take on the situation. Long term, perhaps you two can come up with a plan to ensure you each feel you are contributing equitably to running the household. The goal is for neither of you to resent the other for purchases or contributions / lack of contributions to the overall welfare of the house.
This is a perfect example of how drinking or keeping this inside will not solve the overall issue. But, there are steps you can take to begin working on the situation.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by determined99
Morning you hipster cool sober kids!!
Quick post cause I have been enjoying reading the post from cleareyes. Thank you! That really resonated, I will read it often.
Have a wicked cold and heading into work for a long day, including an evening meeting. Guess what though, it's all good, grateful to have my gig. Taking an Advil sinus and I will feel squeaky new in a bit. Can't do that with a hangover my comrades now can you!
Life I'd good, just look around for a minute or two today.
You are only as big as what bothers you.
Go big and smile today team!
I dare you to close your door and do the Pee Wee Herman dance today. You know, the one to the song tequila. Go ahead, I dare you!
Quick post cause I have been enjoying reading the post from cleareyes. Thank you! That really resonated, I will read it often.
Have a wicked cold and heading into work for a long day, including an evening meeting. Guess what though, it's all good, grateful to have my gig. Taking an Advil sinus and I will feel squeaky new in a bit. Can't do that with a hangover my comrades now can you!
Life I'd good, just look around for a minute or two today.
You are only as big as what bothers you.
Go big and smile today team!
I dare you to close your door and do the Pee Wee Herman dance today. You know, the one to the song tequila. Go ahead, I dare you!
that's a good dance, just don't do some of the other things he does hahah
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by CaptainWhip
Penkins you have every right to be upset. I would be too. Don't drink on it though. I've done it to get through tough times, and it's only made things worse. Drink never helps to solve a problem, it adds more problems.
You can get through this.
You can get through this.
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by pinklinzangel
tadaa :-)
congrats on 12 wks, totally awesome!
I just finished 12 too!
It is interesting, I feel like in the last month my body hasn't been telling me that it would be great to get drunk once or twice a week.
It's weird tho, now it is like it is trying to trick me, instead of that little voice telling me it would be nice to get drunk, I've got a more clever little voice saying it's Xmas, why don't ya just have 1 with friends at Xmas time.
I know better tho... I've got these little drinking voices figured out now, and they just make me laugh, they are up to no good, and I know now...there can't be just one drink....sorry little voices haha
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 201
Every right to be mad, penkins. Every right.
Sometimes we men are not too intuitive. Don't know the man but at times the calmly telling us how what we did makes you feel works. In a fight we naturally become defensive.
See is right though. One thing that won't help is a drink.
Sometimes we men are not too intuitive. Don't know the man but at times the calmly telling us how what we did makes you feel works. In a fight we naturally become defensive.
See is right though. One thing that won't help is a drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Penkins, calm is louder than a bomb. Be cool, come back in a bit and rationally and calmly explain your feelings, remind of the deal and ask how he would feel if you promised the down payment for his truck or new toy.
Congrats dry!
Ultra, I love your responses to the drinking situations. Spot on tips there! You are so right, positive is key.
Pink, talk about hipster cool, you got it in bucket loads!! Honestly don't see girls look that cool too often in the states. London is right, you got the happy poison free glow to match!
Last weekend before holiday week kids, get that action plan together. The AV is doing push ups right now, don't forget that.
Congrats dry!
Ultra, I love your responses to the drinking situations. Spot on tips there! You are so right, positive is key.
Pink, talk about hipster cool, you got it in bucket loads!! Honestly don't see girls look that cool too often in the states. London is right, you got the happy poison free glow to match!
Last weekend before holiday week kids, get that action plan together. The AV is doing push ups right now, don't forget that.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: texas
Posts: 328
Staying sober. About to cry again. Tried to talk to him. He got defensive. Said he wouldn't get the car he wanted. So now I feel bad cuz "its my fault". Told him to forget it. Didn't him or his f'ing money. Can do fine w out him. Said i felt taken advantage of. He said so did he for spending money on me a car. So i went into how Ive covered his ass for over a yr. he freaking pulled out his calculator to figure the exact amount. !! Again i told him i didn't need him. We separated rooms. He came back said he didn't wanna fight he will put down the money. I didn't say anything. What is there to say? I married an *******. Well maybe not. But it feels like it right now. Ok. Going to cry again.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 625
19 days!! 1 slip in 54 days. Counting this way helps me. I am doing well but I have to say I'm dealing with a lot of stress at work. Normally I would have a few drinks to relax but since I am not drinking I am facing the stress head on. Sometimes I don't go that well. I find myself bring. Impatient with people and getting riled up and very defensive. I broke out with cold sores as a result of stress. Hope you are all doing well!!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by penkins
Staying sober. About to cry again. Tried to talk to him. He got defensive. Said he wouldn't get the car he wanted. So now I feel bad cuz "its my fault". Told him to forget it. Didn't him or his f'ing money. Can do fine w out him. Said i felt taken advantage of. He said so did he for spending money on me a car. So i went into how Ive covered his ass for over a yr. he freaking pulled out his calculator to figure the exact amount. !! Again i told him i didn't need him. We separated rooms. He came back said he didn't wanna fight he will put down the money. I didn't say anything. What is there to say? I married an *******. Well maybe not. But it feels like it right now. Ok. Going to cry again.
I hope you don't drink over it because he is not worth it...you deserve to be sober and healthy for yourself. You want to stay clear minded in this situation. Thinking of you and I am here for you if you want to talk....I will be on for the next couple of hours. Hugs and love to you.
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Originally Posted by penkins
Staying sober. About to cry again. Tried to talk to him. He got defensive. Said he wouldn't get the car he wanted. So now I feel bad cuz "its my fault". Told him to forget it. Didn't him or his f'ing money. Can do fine w out him. Said i felt taken advantage of. He said so did he for spending money on me a car. So i went into how Ive covered his ass for over a yr. he freaking pulled out his calculator to figure the exact amount. !! Again i told him i didn't need him. We separated rooms. He came back said he didn't wanna fight he will put down the money. I didn't say anything. What is there to say? I married an *******. Well maybe not. But it feels like it right now. Ok. Going to cry again.
Learning to deal with conflict sober is a tough ask, but you're doing well
D
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: texas
Posts: 328
Thanks team A for your encouragement and words. Still feel down. But i did not drink. I don't like feeling this way. I'd rather be drunk so i don't feel this. But I'm sober and feeling every bit of it. So i think I'm gonna take a sleeping pill and try to just sleep it off. I figure a sleeping pill is better than drinking. Leaser of two evils. Goodnight team!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Happy Friday!
Well done Penkins!
Ok, task for today. Check in with a highlight from your thanksgiving sober plan.
I am bringing kayaks, paddle boards, plenty of coffee and downloaded books. And running gear.
Visualizing driving home sober and proud after holiday.
Going to focus on actually being thankful for my life and everything in it.
Go kill it today guys!
Well done Penkins!
Ok, task for today. Check in with a highlight from your thanksgiving sober plan.
I am bringing kayaks, paddle boards, plenty of coffee and downloaded books. And running gear.
Visualizing driving home sober and proud after holiday.
Going to focus on actually being thankful for my life and everything in it.
Go kill it today guys!
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