advbike

You ROCK Else! Way to go on resisting those pills.. you're so incredibly strong. Kind of weird they left them there. Doesn't he know you have a problem?

I agree about alcohol.. never miss it.. but my ego still battles me constantly. Or, it's more like I have to battle it, lol. It's always the instigator.

Elseware

No, my brother doesn't know. Nobody knows in my family. I've kept this very quiet with everyone. The only person I've told is my son. Because I didn't want him to think I didn't understand or that I was condemning or judging him for being an alcoholic.

My brother would judge me very harshly for being an addict and I'm not going there with him. My ego couldn't take it. He's a very "holier than thou" sort of person. Because of our Mom being what she was, I guess. Another story.

Anyway, I feel good about it. I am very ok and feeling good about life. And I learned something today.

Venecia

Glad I checked SR before going to bed.

SUPER PROUD of you, Else. You're taking good care of yourself.

Please give yourself a big hug from me!

Venecia

G' morning, classmates --

I posted this in the 'news' part of SR but wanted to share it here, too.

Else, this story is powerful and good for all of us to hear, but I am sharing particularly for you. It is a hopeful story of a parent and a son.

(A good one to read, but the impact is far stronger if you hit the audio and listen to the voices.)

Formerly Homeless Vet And His Dad Remember His Darkest Moments : NPR

Soberwolf

Way to go Elsewhere

Oceanlady

Else, so glad you stayed stronge! We must pat our selfs on the back when this new improved model of us says NO...
Oceanfellar and I have been at our camp this week. Visited with pals up here and watched them drink! Sometimes I feel like the outsider now..there is such a comradery among drinks..which, is the only thing I wish..

Venecia

Yeah, I hear you, Oceanlady. Sometimes, we are kind of outsiders when others can drink.

Thank heavens for that. We kicked ourselves out of that club!

Ornithology

Oceanlady and Venecia, thanks for your posts. I am off to a sailboat race next week for four days. The crew rents a house and we are out on the water all day and there is lots and lots of drinking at night. I did this same regatta last year and my not drinking wasn't an issue. But I've been thinking about it and wondering if my sailing friends will ask if I'm still not drinking or try and cajole me a little. These guys remember me as a big drinker when we raced together weekly in Boston years ago. I lived walking distance from the yacht club and would pound beers at the club after each race.
I've been rehearsing how I'll respond to questions about my no longer drinking. At the end of the day, these guys are some of my best friends and that will either not care or may even be happy for me.

Venecia

Sounds like you've got your own back, Orn, by putting some thought into what you'll say if the topic arises.

Anna often says we don't owe anyone any explanation. By and large, I agree with her but there can be circumstances like yours when it's good to be prepared.

In the same circumstances -- and this may come up at a wedding in a few months -- I might say something along the lines of "thanks for asking, but I made a decision some time back to no longer drink."

On edit, a postscript: If it is difficult to be among a lot of drinking, we're here if you need to vent. We've got your back, too.

You've commented on how, in sobriety, you're in much better shape than you were previously. Chances are, your friends will envy the slimmer, buffer guy you've become! And you're right: They're good friends and however you choose to respond, if it comes up, they'll respect you and your decision.

Have a great time sailing -- it sounds like such fun!

Venecia

Weird little formatting thingie -- my postscript upon edit popped up in the middle of the text above. New SR format or user error?!

Dee74

Not sure Ven - things seem to be working for me, but ya never know lol

D

advbike

Sure been quiet around here lately, haha.. but I suspect that's a good thing. Orn, enjoy the sailing, sounds like fun, and I think you'll do fine if any questions arise. As V mentioned, you're fitter and more capable - and that's good stuff, especially when out on the water..

I'm headed off to Thailand for a couple weeks of exploration, and island hopping.. it's also a time to reflect a little bit on the past year, which has involved a lot of changes for me, and uncovered some issues that need to be worked on.

Hope everyone is doing well.

--Adv

Venecia

Thanks, Adv.

Some turmoil on SR over the past few days that started with the new format and turned into some negativity. I really value this place and all of you. Wrote this yesterday ...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...gratitude.html

Looking forward to a report from your trip, Adv. I hope the reflection is healthy and fulfilling.

Take care ... more later.

advbike

Great post, V.. thanks.. very thoughtful..

Venecia

I think this posting probably coincides with Orn's sailing trip. Orn, if you can check in, hope you're well. Also hoping that all is safe and sound for your family. The news tonight is disconcerting, to say the least, from your parts.

Kadi, the northern magnolias are in bloom in my parts. I know they couldn't hold a candle to those down South. But for the brief time they grace our world up here, they sure are pretty!

May we all have a sober, peaceful and healthy week.

Oceanlady

Hi guys!
Need your thoughts and prayers and positive thoughts at this time. My 47 yr old son has tested positive for adult onset muscular dysrophy. I have know for sometime that something muscular was wrong. He chose to keep it from us as long as possible,and told us this weekend. The old me would have bought a box of wine. The new improved model is attacking the boards! He is encouraged by the medical trials underway that should produce a drug with high expectations in the next two years...
Enough Debbie downer! Orn have a great sailing trip! And yes, I am a little confused with new format, but like everything, will learn to live with it!

Venecia

Big Hugs, Oceanlady.

I'll be keeping your son (and your family) in thought and prayer. What a jolt for your family.

Sometimes, I think there is a larger plan for our sobriety, that it is a major attribute in our lives that is intended to help us weather storms. And now there is a storm for you, dear lady. The new you will be there with a clear mind and a strong heart to help your son and his family.

But there's no doubt this is hard, and don't you EVER worry about being a Debbie Downer. We're here for each other, good weather and bad. Lean on us when you need to -- we've all done that for one another.

The nurse in you will know more about potential treatment and be able to approach this challenge armed with the knowledge that comes from your career. It does sound like there is promise in the clinical trial.

Take good care of yourself, my friend. We're here for you, just as you have been for us.

Love,
V.

Elseware

Oceanlady, I am truly sorry to hear this news about your son. This is really heartbreaking for your family, I'll bet. You are taking a major hit here with grace and dignity. The new you will be able to be there for him during the tough time he may be facing. You'll be able to offer him your full support which is the most loving thing you can do right now. I know from my own experience that being sober was a huge thing in my being able to be fully present for my son and his family during our recent trials.

I hope he catches a break with the new treatments becoming available. He will have you to help him through the daunting medical system which is no small thing.

Elseware

Oceanlady, I am sorry my post had to end so abruptly. I am having trouble with my keyboard. I think I might have to head for the Apple Store. Anyway, as I was saying, I'll be thinking about you with my fingers crossed and since I seem to be praying a lot now I will include you and your family in my prayers. I know you'll be ok and it sounds like there is great hope for your son. Maybe they can arrest this before it becomes worse. 47 is so young but he's got his Mom, whole and strong, to help him. He's got that on his side.

As for me, I had a day or so of some craving but it passed and now I'm fine. Actually better than fine because I'm full of energy and clear now that I won't be using anytime soon or ever. This makes me feel very good about myself. I have spent the last, however many months it's been now, feeling a lot of shame. I feel it lifting now.

Ornithology

The regatta doesn't start until Friday but we start practicing on Thursday; so I'm still at home.

We were at the Orioles game Saturday night when they had the disturbances around the ballpark. At one point the police ordered everyone to stay inside the stadium. We got home safely and were never in any danger.

It lifted my spirit to see people cleaning up their neighborhoods this morning after last night's vandalism and arson.

My wife lived in LA during the riots following the Rodney King beating. Maybe someday we'll stop marginalizing entire segments of our population.