Class of August 2013 - Part 14
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Hi Else, nice to hear from you and so glad the situation is improving with your son, and you're looking at horses. Yes I was back in the States for a couple of weeks. I had a doctor and dental appointment, and needed to inspect both homes since I've rented them while I'm overseas. I also needed to have some fun..
I first visited my brother in Phoenix and picked up my car. We went up to the Grand Canyon.. he hadn't been back since we went there as kids. It was a good visit and the weather was perfect.. we talked a lot about our childhood experiences, which we both internalized differently. Then I drove back to the Northwest via some of my favorite routes, camping on the coast and in far northern California. I was in Bend for a couple of days and it was nice to hit some of my favorite restaurants such as Kebaba, and the little bakery/coffee shop near my house in NWX. Then over to rainy Portland, lol, where I had business to take care of, and friends to visit. Both of my tenants have turned out to be just fine, and my previous fears and concerns were just my vulnerable and active ego talking, as usual.
One of my most valuable lessons in this whole experience, both here in SE Asia, and with respect to my affairs in the US, has been letting go of fear, and trusting in a higher power. Adult children of alcoholics (dysfunctional families) such as myself tend to live lives driven by fear as the primary motivator, with very active egos, hence the need to self-medicate. Fear of criticism, failure, commitment, conflict, etc.. Recovery programs allow us to see the patterns and change our response to life events. As my therapist used to say, "either your higher power or your ego is running the show".. and I find that to be so true. As long as the ego is in charge, we can never be joyous, happy and free.
I have to say, it was a really great trip. After my two weeks in the States I was ready to come home to my smiling, laughing and happy woman here, so I have put off my Thailand island-hopping trip for a month or two.
-Adv
I first visited my brother in Phoenix and picked up my car. We went up to the Grand Canyon.. he hadn't been back since we went there as kids. It was a good visit and the weather was perfect.. we talked a lot about our childhood experiences, which we both internalized differently. Then I drove back to the Northwest via some of my favorite routes, camping on the coast and in far northern California. I was in Bend for a couple of days and it was nice to hit some of my favorite restaurants such as Kebaba, and the little bakery/coffee shop near my house in NWX. Then over to rainy Portland, lol, where I had business to take care of, and friends to visit. Both of my tenants have turned out to be just fine, and my previous fears and concerns were just my vulnerable and active ego talking, as usual.
One of my most valuable lessons in this whole experience, both here in SE Asia, and with respect to my affairs in the US, has been letting go of fear, and trusting in a higher power. Adult children of alcoholics (dysfunctional families) such as myself tend to live lives driven by fear as the primary motivator, with very active egos, hence the need to self-medicate. Fear of criticism, failure, commitment, conflict, etc.. Recovery programs allow us to see the patterns and change our response to life events. As my therapist used to say, "either your higher power or your ego is running the show".. and I find that to be so true. As long as the ego is in charge, we can never be joyous, happy and free.
I have to say, it was a really great trip. After my two weeks in the States I was ready to come home to my smiling, laughing and happy woman here, so I have put off my Thailand island-hopping trip for a month or two.
-Adv
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 728
Hi all.! Things are very good here. A great difference from last year,, I could care less about drinking and n so very grateful for the sense of peace I am feeling. Had one issue that upset me.. I picked up someone's vodka red plastic cup by mistake and took a taste! Dropped it like poison everyone asking what's wronge. Felt awful but forgave myself And don't think this should count??
Else, glad things are better..did you buy a horse? Adv so happy for the live your feeling!
One more week and then back to snow!
Else, glad things are better..did you buy a horse? Adv so happy for the live your feeling!
One more week and then back to snow!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Hi, all --
Orn, that was an inspiring note. It's so good to hear about how life gets better as sobriety and recovery deepen.
Oceanlady, don't let that accident get you. There was no intent -- just an unintentional thing. You're doing so well. Really proud of you!
Take care, everyone.
And, if FG is out there, we're thinking about you. How 'bout a 'hello'?
V.
Orn, that was an inspiring note. It's so good to hear about how life gets better as sobriety and recovery deepen.
Oceanlady, don't let that accident get you. There was no intent -- just an unintentional thing. You're doing so well. Really proud of you!
Take care, everyone.
And, if FG is out there, we're thinking about you. How 'bout a 'hello'?
V.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
PS to Else: Give "Treme" a try. I'll forewarn you -- it's from HBO so none of the usual rules for TV. Lots of swearing (but less sex than we see in other HBO shows).
There is something about certain places that just sticks with us. I've loved San Francisco, too, and am crazy about the Oregon coast.
New Orleans is in a league of its own, I think. The music -- and there is a TON of it in "Treme" -- is probably what attracts me more than anything. That and the history. Oh, and the architecture. Did I mention the food?
It's good to feel our sober muscles get stronger and stronger. When my cousin and I hit some clubs, it didn't even bother me that I couldn't drink. Even earlier in my sobriety -- committed as I was -- I think it would have been hard to be in that environment.
Looking forward to going back in May!
There is something about certain places that just sticks with us. I've loved San Francisco, too, and am crazy about the Oregon coast.
New Orleans is in a league of its own, I think. The music -- and there is a TON of it in "Treme" -- is probably what attracts me more than anything. That and the history. Oh, and the architecture. Did I mention the food?
It's good to feel our sober muscles get stronger and stronger. When my cousin and I hit some clubs, it didn't even bother me that I couldn't drink. Even earlier in my sobriety -- committed as I was -- I think it would have been hard to be in that environment.
Looking forward to going back in May!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Didn't read anything but the last 2 posts, no disrespect intended. Hey peeps. I'm not great but I'm sober and not struggling with it in any fashion. Perhaps when I regain some better perspective on my place in the universe I'll be back to chat some more. 
I wish you all well.
I wish you all well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
Venecia, I will give "Treme" a try. And this is me you're talking to. I've been known to turn the place blue myself. Not much bothers me when it comes to language. I find it colorful and adds to the texture of life. I know it offends people at times and sometimes it's very not appropriate......and I know when that is. So, no worries! You've got me even more interested in "Treme"
FG. Bear hug to you, too! I saw some duckies the other day on Facebook and thought of you. Glad to see your post and to hear things are ok for you. You are in my heart.
FG. Bear hug to you, too! I saw some duckies the other day on Facebook and thought of you. Glad to see your post and to hear things are ok for you. You are in my heart.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
FG, count me in -- good to hear from you. I'm glad you're sober; it makes the rest of the journey easier.
I'm getting a sense of what life is like for Else and Adv with all the wind you get. Massively windy and dry here -- two houses not far from me burned down today and several similar fires around the metro.
Well, I made it through April Fools with some success. The Rolling Stones will play here in early June and I wrote on Facebook that I won a radio call-in contest -- with the prize being dinner with Charlie Watts. So far, about half my friends who responded said they fell for it. Not quite the same accomplishment as a couple years ago when I posted that I won a walk-on role in "Downtown Abbey." One of my former co-workers apparently still believes it. I wonder if she looks fruitlessly for me in the faces of the visiting aristocracy.
As always, my gratitude to Dee (and Anna). You earn it every day, today more than usual. You're good friends to so many.
I'm getting a sense of what life is like for Else and Adv with all the wind you get. Massively windy and dry here -- two houses not far from me burned down today and several similar fires around the metro.
Well, I made it through April Fools with some success. The Rolling Stones will play here in early June and I wrote on Facebook that I won a radio call-in contest -- with the prize being dinner with Charlie Watts. So far, about half my friends who responded said they fell for it. Not quite the same accomplishment as a couple years ago when I posted that I won a walk-on role in "Downtown Abbey." One of my former co-workers apparently still believes it. I wonder if she looks fruitlessly for me in the faces of the visiting aristocracy.
As always, my gratitude to Dee (and Anna). You earn it every day, today more than usual. You're good friends to so many.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Happy Easter everyone! Been a long week here in the Philippines.. Holy Week.. most of the stores and shops have been closed since Thursday..
I am feeling grateful however. On Wednesday when I was coming down the steep and curvy mountain pass on my racing bike, at my usual crazy pace, a guy pulled directly into my lane at the last second. No big deal, I'm used to that, so I just passed him. Unfortunately that put me into the next curve at a pretty fast clip, and there was some water. What I didn't see was probably oil because the next thing I knew the bike went completely sideways. The miracle is I managed to save it and not go down, but it was a pretty violent maneuver, accompanied by a few audible gasps from the sidelines, lol.. and when I got a bit further down the hill I had no back brakes. That's when I stopped and realized the bike had slid out so far that the sideways force had actually seriously bent my rear rim, which then destroyed the brake pads. I was able to get it home but with everything closed there's been no more riding this week. Fortunately I could swim. As I said, I'm feeling grateful that I'm not covered in road rash, or worse. I've been feeling for some time my luck is going to run out on this routine and this was another wake up call. No where else to conveniently train however. No plan B, and I won't give up the bike. It brings so many benefits.
I am feeling grateful however. On Wednesday when I was coming down the steep and curvy mountain pass on my racing bike, at my usual crazy pace, a guy pulled directly into my lane at the last second. No big deal, I'm used to that, so I just passed him. Unfortunately that put me into the next curve at a pretty fast clip, and there was some water. What I didn't see was probably oil because the next thing I knew the bike went completely sideways. The miracle is I managed to save it and not go down, but it was a pretty violent maneuver, accompanied by a few audible gasps from the sidelines, lol.. and when I got a bit further down the hill I had no back brakes. That's when I stopped and realized the bike had slid out so far that the sideways force had actually seriously bent my rear rim, which then destroyed the brake pads. I was able to get it home but with everything closed there's been no more riding this week. Fortunately I could swim. As I said, I'm feeling grateful that I'm not covered in road rash, or worse. I've been feeling for some time my luck is going to run out on this routine and this was another wake up call. No where else to conveniently train however. No plan B, and I won't give up the bike. It brings so many benefits.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
Gulllpp! That was a close one adv! Good thing you know what you're doing and had luck on your side. I am also glad you're not covered in road rash or worse. Happy Easter to you, too. I'm busy baking bread for Easter dinner. Here's to being in one piece!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Hi all, just checking in to say a belated Happy Easter! Advbike, that sounds close. Glad you were not hurt.
I was home for most of last week (our Spring Break). My dad is not doing so well. Long story but the gist is that diabetes and lifestyle choices are catching up. He's having a lot of trouble with the circulation in his left leg and is in a lot of pain. The doctor tried to do a leg bypass a couple weeks ago but it was unsuccessful in providing more bloodflow. My mom is taking him back to the doctor's tomorrow so we'll see what he says. My father is adamant that he will not consider amputation. I am praying that he will open his mind just a little bit to the idea of amputation, not only because the pain is chronic but more importantly, he is getting so little circulation to that foot and the outcome will not be good. But it has to be his choice.
I hope everyone had a nice Easter. My sister was in town too with the kids and we dyed eggs and rode bikes. Feeling grateful to be sober and present.
I was home for most of last week (our Spring Break). My dad is not doing so well. Long story but the gist is that diabetes and lifestyle choices are catching up. He's having a lot of trouble with the circulation in his left leg and is in a lot of pain. The doctor tried to do a leg bypass a couple weeks ago but it was unsuccessful in providing more bloodflow. My mom is taking him back to the doctor's tomorrow so we'll see what he says. My father is adamant that he will not consider amputation. I am praying that he will open his mind just a little bit to the idea of amputation, not only because the pain is chronic but more importantly, he is getting so little circulation to that foot and the outcome will not be good. But it has to be his choice.
I hope everyone had a nice Easter. My sister was in town too with the kids and we dyed eggs and rode bikes. Feeling grateful to be sober and present.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
Diabetes is such an awful disease. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. You're right. It does have to be his decision. But the hand writing may be on the wall for him. Good luck and take care of yourself. It will be hard to watch him handle his grief. Amputation is a hard thing to face.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern U.S.
Posts: 1,030
Thanks, guys.
Else, it really is. They went back to the doctor today and he said they can't try anymore procedures because the blood vessels have hardened to the point that they're difficult to work with. But they talked about the logistics and physiology of amputation so at least it's all on the table instead of tiptoeing around the topic as we had been doing. My mom said he needs time to think and process and she's not going to pressure him. She's going to the gym and cleaning out closets and trying to carry on as usual.
Else, it really is. They went back to the doctor today and he said they can't try anymore procedures because the blood vessels have hardened to the point that they're difficult to work with. But they talked about the logistics and physiology of amputation so at least it's all on the table instead of tiptoeing around the topic as we had been doing. My mom said he needs time to think and process and she's not going to pressure him. She's going to the gym and cleaning out closets and trying to carry on as usual.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Oh, Kadi. Extra big hugs to you.
You're right -- at least everything is on the table now. I hope that your father can come to see that, while difficult, it would not be the end of the world.
So hard to deal with our aging parents.
You take good care of yourself, Kadidee, our Southern Belle.
You're right -- at least everything is on the table now. I hope that your father can come to see that, while difficult, it would not be the end of the world.
So hard to deal with our aging parents.
You take good care of yourself, Kadidee, our Southern Belle.
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