Class Of February 2014 Part 11
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Lulu - Happy One Year Soberversary!!!!
It's been inspiring to spend this year getting to know you, learn about your approach to recovery, and watch your life blossom.
What started as counting days and staying out of trouble has turned into consciously building a better life. I'm looking forward to hanging out alongside you this year as you add a "new-lu" to your family, as your children grow, and as you find your way through this exciting time in your life sober.
I value the friendship and camaraderie we've built over the year! Keep it coming!
It's been inspiring to spend this year getting to know you, learn about your approach to recovery, and watch your life blossom.
What started as counting days and staying out of trouble has turned into consciously building a better life. I'm looking forward to hanging out alongside you this year as you add a "new-lu" to your family, as your children grow, and as you find your way through this exciting time in your life sober.
I value the friendship and camaraderie we've built over the year! Keep it coming!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Originally Posted by gleefan 
Lulu - Happy One Year Soberversary!!!!
It's been inspiring to spend this year getting to know you, learn about your approach to recovery, and watch your life blossom.
What started as counting days and staying out of trouble has turned into consciously building a better life. I'm looking forward to hanging out alongside you this year as you add a "new-lu" to your family, as your children grow, and as you find your way through this exciting time in your life sober.
I value the friendship and camaraderie we've built over the year! Keep it coming!
It's been inspiring to spend this year getting to know you, learn about your approach to recovery, and watch your life blossom.
What started as counting days and staying out of trouble has turned into consciously building a better life. I'm looking forward to hanging out alongside you this year as you add a "new-lu" to your family, as your children grow, and as you find your way through this exciting time in your life sober.
I value the friendship and camaraderie we've built over the year! Keep it coming!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hey Febbies
I had a difficult week that was made decent by following the principles of the 12 steps, specifically being honest with myself and letting go of resentments. My son was sick and when I found myself worrying excessively about worst case scenarios and feeling resentful that I couldn't stay home from work and obsessively worry, I reset my day, multiple times. It was freeing to let go of that inappropriate worry, and to worry a right sized amount instead. A good friend was worried that I was being hard on myself for having normal maternal instincts, but the truth is that my worry is excessive and disordered, and it's made worse by blaming my mother for making me this way instead of doing something to fix it. Truth is, letting go of this little bit of hypochondriasis that I was holding on to freed from unhappiness and gave me hope that all of my distorted worrying, specifically about highway driving, may ease eventually.
My husband is still drinking, even after our umpteenth conversation about it bothering me. Last night when I came home from a night out with some friends he was clearly very intoxicated, and while he's usually much more pleasant when drinking than when sober, last night he was kind of belligerent. He was pissy that I didn't have a big dish of gossip to share about the night. Truth is, there wasn't much to share, I was tired from a long day, and I wanted to check SR instead. I ended up falling asleep while posting and found my phone in the middle of my bed at like 2 am. The recovery frame of mind was a good way for me to end the long day.
I don't want to dwell on self pity and resentments over my husband's drinking. Acceptance doesn't mean his behavior is acceptable to me, or that it fits with my life's vision. Our relationship is unravelling, but I'm not making any bold moves, just taking life day by day, one decision at a time, choosing the next right thing.
I had a difficult week that was made decent by following the principles of the 12 steps, specifically being honest with myself and letting go of resentments. My son was sick and when I found myself worrying excessively about worst case scenarios and feeling resentful that I couldn't stay home from work and obsessively worry, I reset my day, multiple times. It was freeing to let go of that inappropriate worry, and to worry a right sized amount instead. A good friend was worried that I was being hard on myself for having normal maternal instincts, but the truth is that my worry is excessive and disordered, and it's made worse by blaming my mother for making me this way instead of doing something to fix it. Truth is, letting go of this little bit of hypochondriasis that I was holding on to freed from unhappiness and gave me hope that all of my distorted worrying, specifically about highway driving, may ease eventually.
My husband is still drinking, even after our umpteenth conversation about it bothering me. Last night when I came home from a night out with some friends he was clearly very intoxicated, and while he's usually much more pleasant when drinking than when sober, last night he was kind of belligerent. He was pissy that I didn't have a big dish of gossip to share about the night. Truth is, there wasn't much to share, I was tired from a long day, and I wanted to check SR instead. I ended up falling asleep while posting and found my phone in the middle of my bed at like 2 am. The recovery frame of mind was a good way for me to end the long day.
I don't want to dwell on self pity and resentments over my husband's drinking. Acceptance doesn't mean his behavior is acceptable to me, or that it fits with my life's vision. Our relationship is unravelling, but I'm not making any bold moves, just taking life day by day, one decision at a time, choosing the next right thing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Hey everyone,
Glee- I can definitely relate about the obsessiveness and worst case scenarios. You've become very self observant though and it's serving you well. I hope he's feeling better now and you had a better weekend.
I had a nice weekend here. I had a great birthday and a lot of it had to do with my change in perception. Last year I had the attitude that it was "my" day and I deserved gifts and I deserved attention. I also felt like I was getting old and it scared me. When I didn't get what I thought I deserved I pouted and turned to drinking. This year I decided to celebrate life, not my birthday per se. I celebrated the fact that I've been blessed with 31 years on this planet. A gift that so many don't get to experience. I celebrated the people I love. I tried to give more than I received on my birthday, but I found that I was so spoiled I could hardly keep up. Next year I want to be more prepared to show those around me how much I love and appreciate them. My friends and family called and I enjoyed catching up with them. My husband took me out for a nice dinner. On top of that my family was just there. Haha, well... baby was kind of a stinker and my cat decided to step in poo and gallop around the house. But it was OK. It was MORE than OK, because they were there and they give me so much love. I have so much to be grateful for in life and the thought of going back to a life of self indulgence and self pity is not something I want to do.
Anyway, I think of you all often. I think about what you share on here and I think about things I want to share with you, but I haven't been able to get on here as often as I'd like. I hope you're all doing well.
Glee- I can definitely relate about the obsessiveness and worst case scenarios. You've become very self observant though and it's serving you well. I hope he's feeling better now and you had a better weekend.
I had a nice weekend here. I had a great birthday and a lot of it had to do with my change in perception. Last year I had the attitude that it was "my" day and I deserved gifts and I deserved attention. I also felt like I was getting old and it scared me. When I didn't get what I thought I deserved I pouted and turned to drinking. This year I decided to celebrate life, not my birthday per se. I celebrated the fact that I've been blessed with 31 years on this planet. A gift that so many don't get to experience. I celebrated the people I love. I tried to give more than I received on my birthday, but I found that I was so spoiled I could hardly keep up. Next year I want to be more prepared to show those around me how much I love and appreciate them. My friends and family called and I enjoyed catching up with them. My husband took me out for a nice dinner. On top of that my family was just there. Haha, well... baby was kind of a stinker and my cat decided to step in poo and gallop around the house. But it was OK. It was MORE than OK, because they were there and they give me so much love. I have so much to be grateful for in life and the thought of going back to a life of self indulgence and self pity is not something I want to do.
Anyway, I think of you all often. I think about what you share on here and I think about things I want to share with you, but I haven't been able to get on here as often as I'd like. I hope you're all doing well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Lulu - I really like your idea of celebrating your birthday by showing the people in your life how much you care about them. ((I still think that you should let yourself be open to being pampered on your birthday )).I'm a friendly, likable person, but in all honesty, I struggle with opening up to people. I am so afraid of being hurt.... Big aha moment there; sometimes the simple lessons are the hardest to learn. I'm so grateful for the simple lessons that I'm learning the hard way in recovery.
At 31 I had a one year old and a second on the way, too. I was also diving deep into my addiction. Now I know that I drank because I'm an alcoholic, but when I first stopped, I drank because parenting is hard. Your children are so fortunate that you are parenting them with a base guided by recovery and sobriety, gratitude and humility.
I don't tend to have a ton of regrets. Instead I try to move forward in a living amends, with the knowledge that if I had to do it again, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't choose to drink. A few details have slipped my mind, but there are so many good memories of those years, too, such as the out of tune personalized songs that I made up for the boys. Tonight my 10 year old asked me to snuggle in bed with him and sing one of my old made up songs. It was sweet! It brought me back 9 years in time to rocking my wiggly toddler to sleep at night. The important memories resonate.
Have a good day Febbies!
)).I'm a friendly, likable person, but in all honesty, I struggle with opening up to people. I am so afraid of being hurt.... Big aha moment there; sometimes the simple lessons are the hardest to learn. I'm so grateful for the simple lessons that I'm learning the hard way in recovery. At 31 I had a one year old and a second on the way, too. I was also diving deep into my addiction. Now I know that I drank because I'm an alcoholic, but when I first stopped, I drank because parenting is hard.
Your children are so fortunate that you are parenting them with a base guided by recovery and sobriety, gratitude and humility. I don't tend to have a ton of regrets. Instead I try to move forward in a living amends, with the knowledge that if I had to do it again, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't choose to drink. A few details have slipped my mind, but there are so many good memories of those years, too, such as the out of tune personalized songs that I made up for the boys. Tonight my 10 year old asked me to snuggle in bed with him and sing one of my old made up songs. It was sweet! It brought me back 9 years in time to rocking my wiggly toddler to sleep at night. The important memories resonate.
Have a good day Febbies!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 436
I went to the dentist yesterday. Twice. I hadn't been in a very long time and this was one of those things on my anxiety bucket list. The morning visit was the exam and cleaning and the earliest I could be seen again wasn't until March, but I put my name on the cancellation list just in case. At 2:30 I received a call asking if I wanted to come in at 3:00! I jumped at it! 45 minutes later I walked out being able to smile again without feeling self conscious.
While I was sitting in the chair (sans Xanax I might add
), I couldn't help but think about how much has changed in this past year. A year ago at that time I'd have been halfway through a bottle of wine.
Next on my anxiety list is searching for a job. I can't use being a stay at home Mom an excuse anymore. My youngest is 16.
Hope everyone is doing well!
I hadn't been in a very long time and this was one of those things on my anxiety bucket list. The morning visit was the exam and cleaning and the earliest I could be seen again wasn't until March, but I put my name on the cancellation list just in case. At 2:30 I received a call asking if I wanted to come in at 3:00! I jumped at it! 45 minutes later I walked out being able to smile again without feeling self conscious.While I was sitting in the chair (sans Xanax I might add
), I couldn't help but think about how much has changed in this past year. A year ago at that time I'd have been halfway through a bottle of wine. Next on my anxiety list is searching for a job. I can't use being a stay at home Mom an excuse anymore. My youngest is 16.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 436
Honestly LS I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I was a legal assistant for 10 years before having kids. But that was 20 years ago and so much has changed. I would love to be able to find a small law office or other professional office to work in but not many are looking for a 49 year old that hasn't worked in an office setting in 20 years. So who knows what I'll end up doing, lol.
I was a legal assistant for 10 years before having kids. But that was 20 years ago and so much has changed. I would love to be able to find a small law office or other professional office to work in but not many are looking for a 49 year old that hasn't worked in an office setting in 20 years. So who knows what I'll end up doing, lol.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
LS - It's so good to have you back.
Casinva - I admire your drive and determination to beat the terrible anxiety beast. Given the remarkable work you've done this year getting sober and overcoming your disabling panic attacks, I have absolutely no question that you will be successful in the career you choose. (And now you can smile about it with confidence!) Competition is stiff out in the corporate world, but the job you pick will be lucky to have you.
Lulu, SL, Bobquin, dSober, Dee - I hope you're having a great day!
Casinva - I admire your drive and determination to beat the terrible anxiety beast. Given the remarkable work you've done this year getting sober and overcoming your disabling panic attacks, I have absolutely no question that you will be successful in the career you choose. (And now you can smile about it with confidence!) Competition is stiff out in the corporate world, but the job you pick will be lucky to have you.
Lulu, SL, Bobquin, dSober, Dee - I hope you're having a great day!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,845
I haven't heard from her but she did start a thread a while back.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-answers.html
I miss her.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-answers.html
I miss her.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi Febbies
I was just skimming over the February 2015 thread. I remembered that some folks came on to post their good wishes for us when we started out, and it was neat to see a few familiar faces with sober time under their belts provide that same experience strength and hope for the 2015 Febbies.
Dee - Hats off to you for all you do to guide the newcomers in their early days of recovery. When I started out you consistently made me feel like sobriety was possible for me. I'm so grateful to you for helping me stay in the recovery game.
I'm grateful for recovery, and for the joy and peace that living by its principles has introduced to my life. Today I had a review with my boss. I'm no more smart or hardworking than I've ever been, and while I've usually been told that my performance meets my job expectations in different positions I've held, today my supervisor told me that I'm a pleasure to have in the office. Trust me, no one ever said that to an angry, frustrated person who felt her opportunities didn't match her potential.
By finding the vulnerability to admit that I wanted a career where I could be successful, by accepting that an entry level job was the means to take that path, by finding the humility to admit that I needed to work hard at it and it doesn't have to be perfect, I have become "a pleasure to have in the office."
I'm enjoying my own company more too. Rather than feel teased or tortured by the activity between my ears, I have let go of my quest for perfection, and accepted that what I am today is enough. I feel more happy and peaceful than I ever have in my adult life. All because I took a leap of faith and quit drinking last year.
I was just skimming over the February 2015 thread. I remembered that some folks came on to post their good wishes for us when we started out, and it was neat to see a few familiar faces with sober time under their belts provide that same experience strength and hope for the 2015 Febbies.
Dee - Hats off to you for all you do to guide the newcomers in their early days of recovery. When I started out you consistently made me feel like sobriety was possible for me. I'm so grateful to you for helping me stay in the recovery game.
I'm grateful for recovery, and for the joy and peace that living by its principles has introduced to my life. Today I had a review with my boss. I'm no more smart or hardworking than I've ever been, and while I've usually been told that my performance meets my job expectations in different positions I've held, today my supervisor told me that I'm a pleasure to have in the office. Trust me, no one ever said that to an angry, frustrated person who felt her opportunities didn't match her potential.
By finding the vulnerability to admit that I wanted a career where I could be successful, by accepting that an entry level job was the means to take that path, by finding the humility to admit that I needed to work hard at it and it doesn't have to be perfect, I have become "a pleasure to have in the office."
I'm enjoying my own company more too. Rather than feel teased or tortured by the activity between my ears, I have let go of my quest for perfection, and accepted that what I am today is enough. I feel more happy and peaceful than I ever have in my adult life. All because I took a leap of faith and quit drinking last year.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
