Class of August 2014 Part 10
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
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Originally Posted by calichris 
Scooter, "free of it" is a dangerous terminology. I know people 3-5 years sober who still get the ocassional AV trying to trick them to drink and I know people a few months sober who barely think about alcohol at all. The danger for me is that when things got "easy" is when I relapsed in the past because I was tricked to think I finally had it under control.
Sorry don't mean to be a downer just trying to illustrate that the AV will use both your bad days and your good days as fuel to try to get you to drink so just be careful. Of course our sober muscles get stronger day by day as we bank up those days that never goes away, but just keep your eye on today and before you know it you will have more and more days in the bank which add up to years and years of healthy living. Don't take your eye off the ball after 90 days (or ever). Same exact thing as driving with cruise control on, yes it is easier, but don't fall asleep at the wheel, that is deadly. And the more we cruise, the more we have to be vigilant when things get "easier" and we may get too relaxed as life goes on around us with surprise temptations thrown in every once in a while. A little bit of fear and remembering why we chose to be sober is always a good thing (just like not wanting to drive off the road in order to stay alive).
Okay so I just re-read this post and it sounds a bit like a downer but i do feel strongly about this and have to share it because my last relapse was on a "good" day after my confidence was built up over time. My AV used that to get me to have "one" drink. That was a gut-wrenching "one drink" that spiraled me out of control again.
I just don't ever want anyone to fall for that one like I did!
Love you all !! So proud of us wherever we are on our journeys!!
Sorry don't mean to be a downer just trying to illustrate that the AV will use both your bad days and your good days as fuel to try to get you to drink so just be careful. Of course our sober muscles get stronger day by day as we bank up those days that never goes away, but just keep your eye on today and before you know it you will have more and more days in the bank which add up to years and years of healthy living. Don't take your eye off the ball after 90 days (or ever). Same exact thing as driving with cruise control on, yes it is easier, but don't fall asleep at the wheel, that is deadly. And the more we cruise, the more we have to be vigilant when things get "easier" and we may get too relaxed as life goes on around us with surprise temptations thrown in every once in a while. A little bit of fear and remembering why we chose to be sober is always a good thing (just like not wanting to drive off the road in order to stay alive).
Okay so I just re-read this post and it sounds a bit like a downer but i do feel strongly about this and have to share it because my last relapse was on a "good" day after my confidence was built up over time. My AV used that to get me to have "one" drink. That was a gut-wrenching "one drink" that spiraled me out of control again.
I just don't ever want anyone to fall for that one like I did!
Love you all !! So proud of us wherever we are on our journeys!!
Chris, I did not mean to give the impression that I thought we would all be free of the AV after 90 days. I am simply curious, wondering what the original poster meant. What are we going to be free of? I assumed it was something physical, like maybe blood levels would even off for those with problems, liver function would improve for those dealing with that, facial features would return to what they were with no bloat, etc.
I have no doubt my AV is with me for life - - but I would like my face to look less bloated, I would like more energy, I would like to lose my muffin (more like souffle) top, etc. I have lost almost 11 pounds at last check, and except for a bout of allergies, my eyes are very clear. My complexion seems to be improving.
Last edited by ScooterBoo; 10-16-2014 at 09:51 AM. Reason: add
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Originally Posted by penkins
Im still here. Lurking. Don't feel i should be posting since the AV usually gets me every weekend. The good news is that it is an improvement for me to NOT drink during the week. Anyhoo. Y'all keep posting and I'll keep reading til I get this down.
Take care.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
My AV woke up after that last post and said, "well if it never goes away you may as well drink!". Isn't that crazy my AV has been so quiet lately ! Sneaky bastard!!!!
I feel better having shared that. He is now crouched down in the corner and embarrassed for tyring to trick me again!
The silver lining is it does get easier! I am a big numbers guy so I charted out how much I generally think about alcohol on any given day (since Day 1) here are the days/percent of the time I think about drinking:
Day 1 : 99%
Day 10: 90%
Day 20: 80%
Day 30: 60%
Day 40: 75% (yes, nothing goes up/down in a straight line)
Day 50: 30%
Day 60: 20%
Day 66: 10%
I assume I may go up to 20% again and down to 0-1% soon enough....
It does get better !!!! (but the AV likes that too
so be careful!)
Go Team-August !!!!!
I feel better having shared that. He is now crouched down in the corner and embarrassed for tyring to trick me again!
The silver lining is it does get easier! I am a big numbers guy so I charted out how much I generally think about alcohol on any given day (since Day 1) here are the days/percent of the time I think about drinking:
Day 1 : 99%
Day 10: 90%
Day 20: 80%
Day 30: 60%
Day 40: 75% (yes, nothing goes up/down in a straight line)
Day 50: 30%
Day 60: 20%
Day 66: 10%
I assume I may go up to 20% again and down to 0-1% soon enough....
It does get better !!!! (but the AV likes that too
so be careful!)Go Team-August !!!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Scooter - I have no links or articles but I've definitely read that for many, a fog begins to lift around 90 days. Our brains are an organ like the liver and they are healing, too, and some parts are growing back again. I read that because of that our impulse control is strengthening. We are better able to shut down the AV. Some have referred to the first 90 days as a foggy, muddled time - inability to think clearly, poor recall, ups and downs....and then the brain awakens a bit. Almost as if true recovery can begin then.
I am wondering if this all relates to the '90 meetings in 90 days' concept.
I am wondering if this all relates to the '90 meetings in 90 days' concept.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
evening all, sorry to hear that the AV is being a total sh!t for some of you, its really hard to contend with, and I hope you can all manage to distract yourselves and treat yourselves to something nice to reward your sobriety - you have to take care of you.
My Av has just realised its Friday tomorrow so has put its party hat on and is preparing, I can feel it! I shall keep myself busy and prepared to try and battle the dual out. its becoming a regular Friday feature which I hope fades in time.
I have taken to freezing low fat yoghurts in a bid to curb a few calories from the excessive ice cream consumption. its not the same, but its not bad actually, and saves about 300 calories a pop, so there's a tip for you!
today I am grateful for:
-the roll call, it was needed!
-SR support - it is priceless and has helped me through every day
-being sober 7 weeks today :-)
-the autumn changing the colours of leaves - so pretty
-beanies gingerbread coffee - its amazing!
-gloves - its turning chilly in the UK!
-the love and support I have at home, im very lucky
-honesty. I think its so important, and its nice to be able to be open on here and not be judged. the support I see on here everyday for everybody is just fantastic - big high five to all of you for making this so therapeutic.
take care guys xxx
My Av has just realised its Friday tomorrow so has put its party hat on and is preparing, I can feel it! I shall keep myself busy and prepared to try and battle the dual out. its becoming a regular Friday feature which I hope fades in time.
I have taken to freezing low fat yoghurts in a bid to curb a few calories from the excessive ice cream consumption. its not the same, but its not bad actually, and saves about 300 calories a pop, so there's a tip for you!
today I am grateful for:
-the roll call, it was needed!
-SR support - it is priceless and has helped me through every day
-being sober 7 weeks today :-)
-the autumn changing the colours of leaves - so pretty
-beanies gingerbread coffee - its amazing!
-gloves - its turning chilly in the UK!
-the love and support I have at home, im very lucky
-honesty. I think its so important, and its nice to be able to be open on here and not be judged. the support I see on here everyday for everybody is just fantastic - big high five to all of you for making this so therapeutic.
take care guys xxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Originally Posted by Applekat
Scooter - I have no links or articles but I've definitely read that for many, a fog begins to lift around 90 days. Our brains are an organ like the liver and they are healing, too, and some parts are growing back again. I read that because of that our impulse control is strengthening. We are better able to shut down the AV. Some have referred to the first 90 days as a foggy, muddled time - inability to think clearly, poor recall, ups and downs....and then the brain awakens a bit. Almost as if true recovery can begin then.
I am wondering if this all relates to the '90 meetings in 90 days' concept.
I am wondering if this all relates to the '90 meetings in 90 days' concept.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: NW UK
Posts: 164
Thank you so much ultra, cristina and 1stepup, your support really does mean so much to me.
1step I really get you on getting used to socializing sober, I was only ever out under the influence even around close friends towards the end, but I'm now proving to myself I don't need that crutch. Saying that I try not to push myself but am gradually easing into sober life. Big congratulations to you on 60 days!! you've come this far sober and done great so try not to look too much into the future, you can get through one moment at a time no problem.
hi doingsomething! glad to hear you are doing so well, nice to meet you!
blackbird, congrats on 14 days!!! pink on 7 weeks wow!
penkins nice to here from you, post whenever you feel you want to, maybe the times you don't think you should be posting are the times you should? when you do drink what is the av telling you? what are you believing? best wishes
Chris you are so so right! my relapses have always been when I have been doing well. I have in the past told myself that one more binge won't hurt, but I tell you it hurt a great deal for me and for those around me and it always got worse. I'm embracing the new me and not entertaining those thoughts ever again, but yes I believe this takes ongoing maintenance on my behalf.
Cristina how are you getting on?
Pink glad you are well and are shutting down that AV!! good thinking on the gratitude list, I've not done one in a while, here goes;
you guys! all of you, just reading your posts, connecting with you guys, learning from you all has been invaluable to me. i'm so happy I stumbled upon this group, you're all amazing.
aa, the people I have met there and the change I have experienced thanks to the program.
my family, my folks especially have surpassed what ever could have been expected from them, I'm looking forward to continually repaying them.
meditation and spirituality in general
new opportunities, starting work tomorrow wooooohoooo!!
an increasing sense of peace and a huge decrease in fear, depression and all the other negative emotions that were amplified in my drinking.
in fact I can't think of one area of my life that has not improved since I quit!! ahahaha I've never thought of it like that. I'm grateful to be alive now!
oh cute are you out there? how has your first week gone? hope you're well buddy.
1step I really get you on getting used to socializing sober, I was only ever out under the influence even around close friends towards the end, but I'm now proving to myself I don't need that crutch. Saying that I try not to push myself but am gradually easing into sober life. Big congratulations to you on 60 days!! you've come this far sober and done great so try not to look too much into the future, you can get through one moment at a time no problem.
hi doingsomething! glad to hear you are doing so well, nice to meet you!
blackbird, congrats on 14 days!!! pink on 7 weeks wow!
penkins nice to here from you, post whenever you feel you want to, maybe the times you don't think you should be posting are the times you should? when you do drink what is the av telling you? what are you believing? best wishes
Chris you are so so right! my relapses have always been when I have been doing well. I have in the past told myself that one more binge won't hurt, but I tell you it hurt a great deal for me and for those around me and it always got worse. I'm embracing the new me and not entertaining those thoughts ever again, but yes I believe this takes ongoing maintenance on my behalf.
Cristina how are you getting on?
Pink glad you are well and are shutting down that AV!! good thinking on the gratitude list, I've not done one in a while, here goes;
you guys! all of you, just reading your posts, connecting with you guys, learning from you all has been invaluable to me. i'm so happy I stumbled upon this group, you're all amazing.
aa, the people I have met there and the change I have experienced thanks to the program.
my family, my folks especially have surpassed what ever could have been expected from them, I'm looking forward to continually repaying them.
meditation and spirituality in general
new opportunities, starting work tomorrow wooooohoooo!!
an increasing sense of peace and a huge decrease in fear, depression and all the other negative emotions that were amplified in my drinking.
in fact I can't think of one area of my life that has not improved since I quit!! ahahaha I've never thought of it like that. I'm grateful to be alive now!
oh cute are you out there? how has your first week gone? hope you're well buddy.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
brach you DO deserve it, you are doing fantastically! celebrate each day xx
1step 60 days! wooohooo. Take That AV!!!! keep going, the days can be dark but look at that - 60 days!!!
KNB, don't give up babe. get rid of the drink like the others have said, keep posting, we got your back my sweet
BBF 2 weeks down!!! well done, real proud of you!
doingsomethin great idea turning cocktail hour(s) into gym time, that's strength there in more ways than one!!
1step 60 days! wooohooo. Take That AV!!!! keep going, the days can be dark but look at that - 60 days!!!
KNB, don't give up babe. get rid of the drink like the others have said, keep posting, we got your back my sweet
BBF 2 weeks down!!! well done, real proud of you!
doingsomethin great idea turning cocktail hour(s) into gym time, that's strength there in more ways than one!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by Applekat
Scooter - I have no links or articles but I've definitely read that for many, a fog begins to lift around 90 days. Our brains are an organ like the liver and they are healing, too, and some parts are growing back again. I read that because of that our impulse control is strengthening. We are better able to shut down the AV. Some have referred to the first 90 days as a foggy, muddled time - inability to think clearly, poor recall, ups and downs....and then the brain awakens a bit. Almost as if true recovery can begin then.
I am wondering if this all relates to the '90 meetings in 90 days' concept.
I am wondering if this all relates to the '90 meetings in 90 days' concept.
Thanks, Apple! That must be what the poster meant when referring to 90 days! I was irrationally hoping against hope it meant all traces of alcohol abuse was gone from the body. I am not in AA, so had never heard of 90 meetings in 90 days.
What a miserable, rainy day! I am getting things done, though. I have cleaned out my kitchen and basement refrigerators and started trying on sweaters to decide which are going to be donated and which I will wear this Fall and winter. I have answered a few emails from friends and relatives. I have started reading the new book for my book club, The Girl You Left Behind
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by pinklinzangel
penkins keep posting, being sober on week days is better than not at all xx
chris love the AV presence percentages! mine definitely has peaks and troughs!!
chris love the AV presence percentages! mine definitely has peaks and troughs!!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: NH
Posts: 110
Scooter- it might've been this post I put up a couple of weeks ago…"I've been reading that things should really start to be rolling after 90 days or so."
Not sure where I heard it but to echo Apple, I took it to mean that cognitive functioning really starts to improve at the 90 day mark and beyond. I can relate to this as I'm suddenly interested in music and the arts once again after a decade long layoff! One of my many items on my Aug/Sept/Oct "to do" list was to hookup my stereo and speakers again (they had been sitting in the basement for many years) and get my jazz collection out. Certainly not a coincidence. I've also cleaned my gutters, cleaned the basement, replaced worn out carpets, fixed closet doors, painted kitchen cabinets and many other things that I have let go. If I'm feeling blah, I have been giving myself permission to couch it (pun intended) for the day. For me, sobriety needs to be a rest of my life journey--it is not going to be won in the first 30/60/90. Just one day at a time, choosing not to drink. I used to think that a martini was the best friend I ever had. It picked me up when I was down and I could forget about all that was bothering me or could bother me. I have come to realize that that drink quickly turned into a soul-sucking enemy after the initial 15 minutes of pleasure and friendship.
great job 1step, Brach,Doing, BBF, Pink---keep up the great work, you are inspiring all of us.
Shouts out to Chris, Cute, Choob's, KNB, Tx,Christina, Ultra, Glandon,Determined.
Napster- my fellow A-team newbie---you doing well still?
Not sure where I heard it but to echo Apple, I took it to mean that cognitive functioning really starts to improve at the 90 day mark and beyond. I can relate to this as I'm suddenly interested in music and the arts once again after a decade long layoff! One of my many items on my Aug/Sept/Oct "to do" list was to hookup my stereo and speakers again (they had been sitting in the basement for many years) and get my jazz collection out. Certainly not a coincidence. I've also cleaned my gutters, cleaned the basement, replaced worn out carpets, fixed closet doors, painted kitchen cabinets and many other things that I have let go. If I'm feeling blah, I have been giving myself permission to couch it (pun intended) for the day. For me, sobriety needs to be a rest of my life journey--it is not going to be won in the first 30/60/90. Just one day at a time, choosing not to drink. I used to think that a martini was the best friend I ever had. It picked me up when I was down and I could forget about all that was bothering me or could bother me. I have come to realize that that drink quickly turned into a soul-sucking enemy after the initial 15 minutes of pleasure and friendship.
great job 1step, Brach,Doing, BBF, Pink---keep up the great work, you are inspiring all of us.
Shouts out to Chris, Cute, Choob's, KNB, Tx,Christina, Ultra, Glandon,Determined.
Napster- my fellow A-team newbie---you doing well still?
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by pinklinzangel
brach you DO deserve it, you are doing fantastically! celebrate each day xx
1step 60 days! wooohooo. Take That AV!!!! keep going, the days can be dark but look at that - 60 days!!!
KNB, don't give up babe. get rid of the drink like the others have said, keep posting, we got your back my sweet
BBF 2 weeks down!!! well done, real proud of you!
doingsomethin great idea turning cocktail hour(s) into gym time, that's strength there in more ways than one!!
1step 60 days! wooohooo. Take That AV!!!! keep going, the days can be dark but look at that - 60 days!!!
KNB, don't give up babe. get rid of the drink like the others have said, keep posting, we got your back my sweet
BBF 2 weeks down!!! well done, real proud of you!
doingsomethin great idea turning cocktail hour(s) into gym time, that's strength there in more ways than one!!
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
Wow, awesome and inspiring posts Team A!
1 step, great job on 60 days!
BBF-2 weeks
Please post whenever you feel the need to, Cristina. You are part of our team and all of our ideas, struggles and victories make a difference!
You can do it, KNB! You will find your motivation. AND be successful.
1step, I agree-working on the emotional sobriety part is challenging. I look at it this way: to keep moving forward, all I really have to do is to not drink every day. Even days that I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, even on days where I'm presented with a reality of myself that I don't like so much. Even when I feel like I've hit a dead end, as long as I don't drink, I AM WINNING. There is room for failure, and room for growth inside of sobriety. The feeling of not making progress is dependent on realizing there is more to do-I couldn't even fathom that while drinking. We are winning!
Love your grateful list, Brach!!
Cleareyes, I've suddenly been enjoying reading, music, and the clarity of my own mind and thoughts more that I ever believed possible. I'm on day 70 today, and I can't imagine any more progress in my brain. It's suddenly kind of a nice place to be sometimes!
Chris-much needed post! I tell myself everyday not to confuse abstinence with control. I have the power to choose to never take another sip. I have no control over alcohol after that.
Great job, everyone! Looking forward to checkins by Dingo, Rah, Cute, Napster, Restless, TX...
1 step, great job on 60 days!
BBF-2 weeks
Please post whenever you feel the need to, Cristina. You are part of our team and all of our ideas, struggles and victories make a difference!
You can do it, KNB! You will find your motivation. AND be successful.
1step, I agree-working on the emotional sobriety part is challenging. I look at it this way: to keep moving forward, all I really have to do is to not drink every day. Even days that I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, even on days where I'm presented with a reality of myself that I don't like so much. Even when I feel like I've hit a dead end, as long as I don't drink, I AM WINNING. There is room for failure, and room for growth inside of sobriety. The feeling of not making progress is dependent on realizing there is more to do-I couldn't even fathom that while drinking. We are winning!
Love your grateful list, Brach!!
Cleareyes, I've suddenly been enjoying reading, music, and the clarity of my own mind and thoughts more that I ever believed possible. I'm on day 70 today, and I can't imagine any more progress in my brain. It's suddenly kind of a nice place to be sometimes!
Chris-much needed post! I tell myself everyday not to confuse abstinence with control. I have the power to choose to never take another sip. I have no control over alcohol after that.
Great job, everyone! Looking forward to checkins by Dingo, Rah, Cute, Napster, Restless, TX...
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