Class of August 2014 Part 9
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
[QUOTE=ScooterBoo;4944525] Scooter, thanks for the update! Sometimes all we can do is listen and it truly does make a difference! Hugs and sober love, Chris
P.S.- Now go do something for yourself !
Originally Posted by calichris 
Scooter,
You take care of everyone. Please take care of you. What is something you LOVE to do? (hiking, walking, eating seafood, knitting, reading in a hammock, cheesecake, etc?). Give yourself a gift of one of the things you LOVE to do TODAY.
I have been very selfish in my sobriety and treating myelf like crazy and it feels good. And the funny thing is that my selfishness to treat myself well has turned around and allowed me to be unselfish to others because I now feel good about myself. Amazing how that works!
Chris, thank you so much for your great advice. My brother has phoned four times today, in really tough shape. I took your suggestions and listened and told him how sorry and sad I feel for him and the kids.
You take care of everyone. Please take care of you. What is something you LOVE to do? (hiking, walking, eating seafood, knitting, reading in a hammock, cheesecake, etc?). Give yourself a gift of one of the things you LOVE to do TODAY.
I have been very selfish in my sobriety and treating myelf like crazy and it feels good. And the funny thing is that my selfishness to treat myself well has turned around and allowed me to be unselfish to others because I now feel good about myself. Amazing how that works!
Chris, thank you so much for your great advice. My brother has phoned four times today, in really tough shape. I took your suggestions and listened and told him how sorry and sad I feel for him and the kids.
P.S.- Now go do something for yourself !
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by Grateful11
Lawyer just told me that my alcoholic "history" is being held against me as far as custody. Does not seem to matter to them that I am doing well now. This is insane but makes me want to say screw it. I feel the shame washing over me with each statement about my past. I can't stop crying. My kids know everything so they also know that I have been so much better.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by Applekat
"I drank for happiness and became unhappy. I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank for sociability and became argumentative. I drank for sophistication and became obnoxious. I drank for friendship and made enemies. I drank for sleep and woke up tired. I drank for strength and felt weak. I drank for relaxation and got the shakes. I drank for courage and became afraid. I drank for confidence and became doubtful. I drank to make conversation easier and slurred my speech. I drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell." -Unknown
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Hi Grateful
While your lawyer may be right in a broad sense, if you can show you're deeply committed to your recovery I think that will go a long way to negating your history.
Please don't give into the despair.
Yesterday is gone - it's today that matters. Make it a good day. Give it your best
D
While your lawyer may be right in a broad sense, if you can show you're deeply committed to your recovery I think that will go a long way to negating your history.
Please don't give into the despair.
Yesterday is gone - it's today that matters. Make it a good day. Give it your best
D
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
My brother has phoned four times at this point today, but not for the last hour or so. I am taking Chris's advice and listening to him and reassuring him. He obviously does not want to confide in anyone else in the family.
I baked a cranberry coffeecake and dropped by to see my neighbor whose husband died this morning after 60 years of marriage. They were the first to move into this development of 48 houses; I was the 25th, and that was 25 years ago. I think there are less than ten original home owners still here. I bought it as a summer home investment, but when I retired I sold my Boston condo and moved here permanently.This couple was very welcoming; always watched out for my property if I was not around, yet not nosy. They have always been great neighbors.
I am still a mess with worry about my brother, but I know there is nothing I can do but listen and reassure him. It just breaks my heart to see him so, so miserable.
I would love to do something for myself, but at this point I just can't. I am too miserable and stuck in my thoughts.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all your kind posts. You have helped me get through the day.
I am going to walk Scooter and get in bed to watch some mindless TV. My AV came calling a while ago; I realized I had not eaten since breakfast so put a Lean Cuisine in the microwave.
If you are a praying person, please say one for my brother to get through this. He had a bad bout of depression in college, which has me very worried.
I baked a cranberry coffeecake and dropped by to see my neighbor whose husband died this morning after 60 years of marriage. They were the first to move into this development of 48 houses; I was the 25th, and that was 25 years ago. I think there are less than ten original home owners still here. I bought it as a summer home investment, but when I retired I sold my Boston condo and moved here permanently.This couple was very welcoming; always watched out for my property if I was not around, yet not nosy. They have always been great neighbors.
I am still a mess with worry about my brother, but I know there is nothing I can do but listen and reassure him. It just breaks my heart to see him so, so miserable.
I would love to do something for myself, but at this point I just can't. I am too miserable and stuck in my thoughts.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all your kind posts. You have helped me get through the day.
I am going to walk Scooter and get in bed to watch some mindless TV. My AV came calling a while ago; I realized I had not eaten since breakfast so put a Lean Cuisine in the microwave.
If you are a praying person, please say one for my brother to get through this. He had a bad bout of depression in college, which has me very worried.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Originally Posted by sthlondonab
Hey guys and girls
LONG day.
First up, ladies Grateful, Apple, Scooter. I am sorry to hear about the rubbish things you are going through today. Stay strong.
Please don't let that AV pounce and take you back down. I admire the resolve you have. Resolve can only strengthen in sobriety and you have the power without king alcohol ruling you. It may not feel like you have any power now, but you do - in BUCKETLOADS.
Break down things into what you have to do today and only today again. Look at all the posts, we are rooting for you.
LONG day.
First up, ladies Grateful, Apple, Scooter. I am sorry to hear about the rubbish things you are going through today. Stay strong.
Please don't let that AV pounce and take you back down. I admire the resolve you have. Resolve can only strengthen in sobriety and you have the power without king alcohol ruling you. It may not feel like you have any power now, but you do - in BUCKETLOADS.
Break down things into what you have to do today and only today again. Look at all the posts, we are rooting for you.
Just had a nice bubble bath, finishing up Ice and a Slice and reading one of the really hard moments for the author embarrassing herself at a party after drinking too much, after 6 weeks abstinence. Ugh! Great reminder of how I don't want to feel!! Day 51 and heading to the couch for some TV.
Hope those struggling are gathering some strength to get through the moment. I've learned that's what a lot of these are of course - just hard moments, and moments pass. Relentless forward progress.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by Applekat
Scooter what TV do you find entertaining?
I liked "Cash Cab," but that no longer airs on the stations I get.
I watch the Red Sox and Patriots games, too.
I enjoy old reruns like "I Love Lucy," "Green Acres," "Beverly Hillbillies..." funny entertainment.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
I am going to bed to watch mindless tv now - - praying that my brother is doing well enough that he does not have to phone again tonight.
I am so, so grateful to all of you - - This is the kind of stress that would have sent me on a real bender before SR. And, then who knows what I would have said or done. Now I am taking Chris's wonderful advice and listening and supporting my brother.
I am so, so grateful to all of you - - This is the kind of stress that would have sent me on a real bender before SR. And, then who knows what I would have said or done. Now I am taking Chris's wonderful advice and listening and supporting my brother.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
ScooterBoo- My son and I are big Patriot's fans. He went to the Raider's gamen in Foxbourogh with my Brother in Law. I'm proud of how you are handling this situation and will keep you in my prayers.
Gratefull- It's said that more things are "caught" than "taught". The way you are- and will- handle your situation will be a life lesson to your children. They are blessed to have you as their Mom.
I found out today that someone a couple of houses down from me is running the 50k this Fall. So, I have one more person to talk to about best practices. The typical question I ask: "What do you know now that you wished you had known prior to the race?".
I'm approaching the run as I approach being alcohol free- by surrounding myself with a community of like minded achievers who share my philosophy and passion.
Gratefull- It's said that more things are "caught" than "taught". The way you are- and will- handle your situation will be a life lesson to your children. They are blessed to have you as their Mom.
I found out today that someone a couple of houses down from me is running the 50k this Fall. So, I have one more person to talk to about best practices. The typical question I ask: "What do you know now that you wished you had known prior to the race?".
I'm approaching the run as I approach being alcohol free- by surrounding myself with a community of like minded achievers who share my philosophy and passion.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 201
Me too, Penkins.
Thoughts with Scooter and Greatfull. Be the strong persons you are.
Wife is traveling and kids are in bed, but no worries on my end. Exhausted and trying to wrap up the day for bed.
Good luck Napster!
Thoughts with Scooter and Greatfull. Be the strong persons you are.
Wife is traveling and kids are in bed, but no worries on my end. Exhausted and trying to wrap up the day for bed.
Good luck Napster!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Thank you everyone for all of your posts and support. There is so much power here as a group - I am overwhelmed.
I don't have time to write all I want to say right now...just wanted to let you know that I am exhausted yet sober and even happy!
While waiting in the courthouse I read all your posts. At the risk of sounding super corny, just reading your posts made it feel like you were all right there with me in person - I no longer felt alone. I felt like I was in the middle of a group hug with all of you lovely people here on TeamAugust.
I don't have time to write all I want to say right now...just wanted to let you know that I am exhausted yet sober and even happy!
While waiting in the courthouse I read all your posts. At the risk of sounding super corny, just reading your posts made it feel like you were all right there with me in person - I no longer felt alone. I felt like I was in the middle of a group hug with all of you lovely people here on TeamAugust.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Morning all
On my way to work, just did my 24 hour check in and so dropping into Team August too.
Grateful - so glad you got through. Sober power!
Sorry apple! I got posts muddled up on who was taking calls from their family. Glad you had a good Wednesday.
Reading a book called "What did I do last night" by Tom Sykes. About a British journalist who is an alcoholic and became a night-time / party correspondent of all things (!) which led to so much madness and how he recovered. Very good read.
On my way to work, just did my 24 hour check in and so dropping into Team August too.
Grateful - so glad you got through. Sober power!
Sorry apple! I got posts muddled up on who was taking calls from their family. Glad you had a good Wednesday.
Reading a book called "What did I do last night" by Tom Sykes. About a British journalist who is an alcoholic and became a night-time / party correspondent of all things (!) which led to so much madness and how he recovered. Very good read.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: NH
Posts: 110
good morning everyone- I'm very new to the group but so many good people here. 50 days of sobriety for me today and I feel really, really good. I never would have guessed the brainwashing that one undergoes when under the grip of alcohol addiction. Life is so much better without it. Keep fighting the good fight everyone and have a good day
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Good morning,
My brother never phoned again last night, and now I am worried that he thought I was going to phone him. When he called the last time, I was talking to another neighbor while walking Scooter. I told him I would call him back, and I think he said he would call me back in about an hour. Now, I am wracking my brain trying to think if he asked me to call him back in an hour.
Yesterday he mentioned several times how his wife keeps bringing up the fact that he did not support her, did not take her side, when I argued with her. That argument was three years ago! It was because I could just not stand the way she treats him. He had asked her permission to ask a co-worker home for dinner, she had said yes, then went into a frenzy telling him to clean this, clean that, she couldn't believe he would ask someone over with the house a mess (it was spotless) I started unloading the dishwasher, she said my brother could do it, and I said he does enough around here, I am happy to help him. Well, that started it! I went home two days later as scheduled. I guess she thinks he should have forced me out the door then and there. She told him that REAL husbands would have defended their wives.
I am trying so hard to just listen to my brother, but I am fuming. I cannot believe she is constantly harping on him THREE YEARS LATER. I sent a groveling apology. I have not gotten a birthday or Christmas gift since, but I have always sent him and his wife a birthday and Christmas gift, and I send the three kids something for all holidays.
This is so hard. I never saw this coming. So, not only am I very worried about my brother because of his former depression, I am feeling very guilty. Then I try to stop myself. Could that really have been such a big deal? Granted I had had a few drinks, but for her to constantly keep on him about that for three years?? It was Columbus Day weekend, 2011.
Obviously, she harps on him about other things - - he is sloppy, he is not ambitious, he does not encourage education. He of course denies all that.
I had a good night's sleep, but the crazy thought popped right up when I woke this morning.
I am so sad and down. Saturday is my Day 57 when I planned to celebrate passing my former high of 56 days sober from 1991. Instead I will be at my old neighbor's funeral.
I am a mess, but I am sober.
My brother never phoned again last night, and now I am worried that he thought I was going to phone him. When he called the last time, I was talking to another neighbor while walking Scooter. I told him I would call him back, and I think he said he would call me back in about an hour. Now, I am wracking my brain trying to think if he asked me to call him back in an hour.
Yesterday he mentioned several times how his wife keeps bringing up the fact that he did not support her, did not take her side, when I argued with her. That argument was three years ago! It was because I could just not stand the way she treats him. He had asked her permission to ask a co-worker home for dinner, she had said yes, then went into a frenzy telling him to clean this, clean that, she couldn't believe he would ask someone over with the house a mess (it was spotless) I started unloading the dishwasher, she said my brother could do it, and I said he does enough around here, I am happy to help him. Well, that started it! I went home two days later as scheduled. I guess she thinks he should have forced me out the door then and there. She told him that REAL husbands would have defended their wives.
I am trying so hard to just listen to my brother, but I am fuming. I cannot believe she is constantly harping on him THREE YEARS LATER. I sent a groveling apology. I have not gotten a birthday or Christmas gift since, but I have always sent him and his wife a birthday and Christmas gift, and I send the three kids something for all holidays.
This is so hard. I never saw this coming. So, not only am I very worried about my brother because of his former depression, I am feeling very guilty. Then I try to stop myself. Could that really have been such a big deal? Granted I had had a few drinks, but for her to constantly keep on him about that for three years?? It was Columbus Day weekend, 2011.
Obviously, she harps on him about other things - - he is sloppy, he is not ambitious, he does not encourage education. He of course denies all that.
I had a good night's sleep, but the crazy thought popped right up when I woke this morning.
I am so sad and down. Saturday is my Day 57 when I planned to celebrate passing my former high of 56 days sober from 1991. Instead I will be at my old neighbor's funeral.
I am a mess, but I am sober.
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