Class of August 2014 Part 9
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Originally Posted by brach123 
Hey there LSC, nice to see you here, hope you're well!
Well done for getting back on track penkins, it really takes a lot of resolve. I'm sure all if not most of us can relate to the mind games that occur after a few weeks of sobriety. When the body heals the liar returns. It's a process that has had me over many a time! AA is helping me a great this time, as is posting here, it's important to keep in touch with the reality of my drinking! I've also found meditation a great way to separate myself from my thoughts and to realize that they are only thoughts and I don't need to act on them.
Grateful and scooter I'm really sorry to hear about the tough times you are going through. I hope they pass soon and you come through them even stronger. Power to you guys.
I actually got up and went for a job this morn, the first time in a very long time. I only lasted 10 mins haha, but after reading up on the internet I should have split my time between walking and jogging to start, which is what I'll do next and hopefully last longer! Anyway it felt good to give it a go.
I'm still waiting to hear about my start date for this temp job, but should hear back soon. For today I can help look after my niece and nephew and also do some planning for my ebay business. London of course I will offer you discount my friend. Oh and your resolve is ever inspiring, up at 6am for a meeting is something else, that sort of effort will stand you in good stead I'm sure. Good luck with the rest of your step 5.
Wishing you all a sober and peaceful day.
Well done for getting back on track penkins, it really takes a lot of resolve. I'm sure all if not most of us can relate to the mind games that occur after a few weeks of sobriety. When the body heals the liar returns. It's a process that has had me over many a time! AA is helping me a great this time, as is posting here, it's important to keep in touch with the reality of my drinking! I've also found meditation a great way to separate myself from my thoughts and to realize that they are only thoughts and I don't need to act on them.
Grateful and scooter I'm really sorry to hear about the tough times you are going through. I hope they pass soon and you come through them even stronger. Power to you guys.
I actually got up and went for a job this morn, the first time in a very long time. I only lasted 10 mins haha, but after reading up on the internet I should have split my time between walking and jogging to start, which is what I'll do next and hopefully last longer! Anyway it felt good to give it a go.
I'm still waiting to hear about my start date for this temp job, but should hear back soon. For today I can help look after my niece and nephew and also do some planning for my ebay business. London of course I will offer you discount my friend. Oh and your resolve is ever inspiring, up at 6am for a meeting is something else, that sort of effort will stand you in good stead I'm sure. Good luck with the rest of your step 5.
Wishing you all a sober and peaceful day.
Branch- Great work on the run, I can totally identify about the begining. When I started running I barely made it .5 miles. A couple of running quotes that resonate here:
"No matter how slow you're going, you're still lapping the guy on the couch"
"A 30 minute mile and a 4 minute mile are the same distance"
I'm going to be one of the slowest in the pack in my Ultra. The majority finish around 6.5 hours. (I'll likely come in around 8 hours).
But, just like here, its about challenging myself and overcoming the voice in my head which (in the middle of a long run) sometimes suggests it would be easier and more comfortable to stop rather than put in the extra effort, and endure a little more pain, to acheive a worthy and lasting goal.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Thanks everyone for your support.
I really don't feel strong at all. I feel like the only reason I did not drink is because I had work responsibilities and wanted to be clearheaded for court.
I am feeling vulnerable right now.
I really don't feel strong at all. I feel like the only reason I did not drink is because I had work responsibilities and wanted to be clearheaded for court.
I am feeling vulnerable right now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm glad you got through Grateful 
Do you have anyone to talk to and confide in, or just to vent to? A divorce can be incredibly stressful.
I know you'll find support here, in any case
D
Do you have anyone to talk to and confide in, or just to vent to? A divorce can be incredibly stressful.
I know you'll find support here, in any case
D
I have one good friend I can talk to about this and SR. My friends that were mutual friends when we were married have disappeared. I was close to everyone in his family(I moved far away from my family so live close to my in laws) but now they are avoiding me. I have isolated myself this last year due to depression and drinking. I cant afford therapy.
I am so grateful to have support here on SR. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through this otherwise. It is extremely stressful.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
BBF - Hope today is better.
Scooter - I don't know what to say except we are all here for you. Keep posting.
Ultra - I can't even run 2 miles...can not even imagine running for eight hours. You inspire me to reach for the stars.
I'm on my way to the courthouse. Feel angry, sad, hurt, alone. Can't believe this is my life.
Scooter - I don't know what to say except we are all here for you. Keep posting.
Ultra - I can't even run 2 miles...can not even imagine running for eight hours. You inspire me to reach for the stars.
I'm on my way to the courthouse. Feel angry, sad, hurt, alone. Can't believe this is my life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Checking in on day 58 at 5:55am at work already. Long 14 hour day today I cannot believe I used to do this hung-over! I am tired but feel good!
Love you all! Hugs from California where it is still dark outside, but warm. Have ablessed day, Chris
Love you all! Hugs from California where it is still dark outside, but warm. Have ablessed day, Chris
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Grateful11
BBF - Hope today is better.
Scooter - I don't know what to say except we are all here for you. Keep posting.
Ultra - I can't even run 2 miles...can not even imagine running for eight hours. You inspire me to reach for the stars.
I'm on my way to the courthouse. Feel angry, sad, hurt, alone. Can't believe this is my life.
Scooter - I don't know what to say except we are all here for you. Keep posting.
Ultra - I can't even run 2 miles...can not even imagine running for eight hours. You inspire me to reach for the stars.
I'm on my way to the courthouse. Feel angry, sad, hurt, alone. Can't believe this is my life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
((((Grateful)))) Good luck today! You will be in my thoughts and you are already in my prayers. Today is a step closer to resolution, and no matter how it goes today, tomorrow and the next and the next will be better. It feels easier to wish for something familiar, but the chance to rebuild our lives and to heal and to grow is given to us even when we don't ask for it. Love to you! Come back and post and be sure to make plans for this evening!
((((Scooter)))) I know that both your brother and your friend are so grateful for your support, and you are such a gift to them. Please make sure you are nurturing yourself today, too. Love, strength and sober power to you today as well!
((((Scooter)))) I know that both your brother and your friend are so grateful for your support, and you are such a gift to them. Please make sure you are nurturing yourself today, too. Love, strength and sober power to you today as well!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by sthlondonab
Oh yes Calichris, the UK is awake. Will take the baton from you on the West Coast USA.
Good to see part 9.
I am up very early, pre 6am as I have built one AA breakfast meeting into my plan on Wednesdays. It's in a beautiful small church and I get to walk right by St Paul's Cathedral on the way there (my favourite building in the world) and buy a huge Starbucks too. It really gives me a mid-week boost. Settled on just the one breakfast meeting as I find it hard to get up this early all week.
It's going to be a long day as tonight is more Step 5 reading.
Wishing everyone a safe, happy and sober day today.
Grateful - stay strong. You are top drawer remember! Sorry you have had a tough one. Try to get some sleep this evening, recharge those batteries. Tomorrow hold your head up high, you are beating this day by day. AV can go away!!
Good to see part 9.
I am up very early, pre 6am as I have built one AA breakfast meeting into my plan on Wednesdays. It's in a beautiful small church and I get to walk right by St Paul's Cathedral on the way there (my favourite building in the world) and buy a huge Starbucks too. It really gives me a mid-week boost. Settled on just the one breakfast meeting as I find it hard to get up this early all week.
It's going to be a long day as tonight is more Step 5 reading.
Wishing everyone a safe, happy and sober day today.
Grateful - stay strong. You are top drawer remember! Sorry you have had a tough one. Try to get some sleep this evening, recharge those batteries. Tomorrow hold your head up high, you are beating this day by day. AV can go away!!
Good luck on your fifth step tonight. I have not officially done mine (I believe every meeting share is an informal fifth step). I heard it can be a huge shift for the better. Let us know how it goes.
Cheers!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Scooter,
You take care of everyone. Please take care of you. What is something you LOVE to do? (hiking, walking, eating seafood, knitting, reading in a hammock, cheesecake, etc?). Give yourself a gift of one of the things you LOVE to do TODAY.
I have been very selfish in my sobriety and treating myelf like crazy and it feels good. And the funny thing is that my selfishness to treat myself well has turned around and allowed me to be unselfish to others because I now feel good about myself. Amazing how that works!
Grateful,
You say that it is only by chance that you did not drink (since you had work responsibilities etc.). Well I dare to challenge that statement and say that you could have drank anyway (we all used to find ways to drink under almost any circumstance) and you chose not to go out of your way to drink! Your AV is shrinking! In the earlier days it would have been shouting at you to find a way to get that first (of many nasty) drinks. Give yourself some credit you are amazing! You are are succeeding!
I, also, have been saved by the Grace of God on a few ocassions. Okay so take that as a gift and leap forward with it and continue to see that beautiful silver lining that can only be seen with sober eyes. We love you more than you know and you are doing this one day at a time. The fact that your knee-jerk reaction was to post here on SR instead of finding some way to get that poisonous liquid says SO much about how much you know this is the life you want. A sober, healthy, optimistic, loving, silver-lined life.
Love and HUGE hugs to you both !!!!!
-Chris
You take care of everyone. Please take care of you. What is something you LOVE to do? (hiking, walking, eating seafood, knitting, reading in a hammock, cheesecake, etc?). Give yourself a gift of one of the things you LOVE to do TODAY.
I have been very selfish in my sobriety and treating myelf like crazy and it feels good. And the funny thing is that my selfishness to treat myself well has turned around and allowed me to be unselfish to others because I now feel good about myself. Amazing how that works!
Grateful,
You say that it is only by chance that you did not drink (since you had work responsibilities etc.). Well I dare to challenge that statement and say that you could have drank anyway (we all used to find ways to drink under almost any circumstance) and you chose not to go out of your way to drink! Your AV is shrinking! In the earlier days it would have been shouting at you to find a way to get that first (of many nasty) drinks. Give yourself some credit you are amazing! You are are succeeding!
I, also, have been saved by the Grace of God on a few ocassions. Okay so take that as a gift and leap forward with it and continue to see that beautiful silver lining that can only be seen with sober eyes. We love you more than you know and you are doing this one day at a time. The fact that your knee-jerk reaction was to post here on SR instead of finding some way to get that poisonous liquid says SO much about how much you know this is the life you want. A sober, healthy, optimistic, loving, silver-lined life.
Love and HUGE hugs to you both !!!!!
-Chris
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by Choobie
((((Grateful)))) Good luck today! You will be in my thoughts and you are already in my prayers. Today is a step closer to resolution, and no matter how it goes today, tomorrow and the next and the next will be better. It feels easier to wish for something familiar, but the chance to rebuild our lives and to heal and to grow is given to us even when we don't ask for it. Love to you! Come back and post and be sure to make plans for this evening!
((((Scooter)))) I know that both your brother and your friend are so grateful for your support, and you are such a gift to them. Please make sure you are nurturing yourself today, too. Love, strength and sober power to you today as well!
((((Scooter)))) I know that both your brother and your friend are so grateful for your support, and you are such a gift to them. Please make sure you are nurturing yourself today, too. Love, strength and sober power to you today as well!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by calichris
Scooter,
You take care of everyone. Please take care of you. What is something you LOVE to do? (hiking, walking, eating seafood, knitting, reading in a hammock, cheesecake, etc?). Give yourself a gift of one of the things you LOVE to do TODAY.
I have been very selfish in my sobriety and treating myelf like crazy and it feels good. And the funny thing is that my selfishness to treat myself well has turned around and allowed me to be unselfish to others because I now feel good about myself. Amazing how that works!
Grateful,
You say that it is only by chance that you did not drink (since you had work responsibilities etc.). Well I dare to challenge that statement and say that you could have drank anyway (we all used to find ways to drink under almost any circumstance) and you chose not to go out of your way to drink! Your AV is shrinking! In the earlier days it would have been shouting at you to find a way to get that first (of many nasty) drinks. Give yourself some credit you are amazing! You are are succeeding!
I, also, have been saved by the Grace of God on a few ocassions. Okay so take that as a gift and leap forward with it and continue to see that beautiful silver lining that can only be seen with sober eyes. We love you more than you know and you are doing this one day at a time. The fact that your knee-jerk reaction was to post here on SR instead of finding some way to get that poisonous liquid says SO much about how much you know this is the life you want. A sober, healthy, optimistic, loving, silver-lined life.
Love and HUGE hugs to you both !!!!! -Chris
You take care of everyone. Please take care of you. What is something you LOVE to do? (hiking, walking, eating seafood, knitting, reading in a hammock, cheesecake, etc?). Give yourself a gift of one of the things you LOVE to do TODAY.
I have been very selfish in my sobriety and treating myelf like crazy and it feels good. And the funny thing is that my selfishness to treat myself well has turned around and allowed me to be unselfish to others because I now feel good about myself. Amazing how that works!
Grateful,
You say that it is only by chance that you did not drink (since you had work responsibilities etc.). Well I dare to challenge that statement and say that you could have drank anyway (we all used to find ways to drink under almost any circumstance) and you chose not to go out of your way to drink! Your AV is shrinking! In the earlier days it would have been shouting at you to find a way to get that first (of many nasty) drinks. Give yourself some credit you are amazing! You are are succeeding!
I, also, have been saved by the Grace of God on a few ocassions. Okay so take that as a gift and leap forward with it and continue to see that beautiful silver lining that can only be seen with sober eyes. We love you more than you know and you are doing this one day at a time. The fact that your knee-jerk reaction was to post here on SR instead of finding some way to get that poisonous liquid says SO much about how much you know this is the life you want. A sober, healthy, optimistic, loving, silver-lined life.
Love and HUGE hugs to you both !!!!!
-ChrisThank you for what you said. You are right. In the past I would have planned a way to drink after work. Absolutely. I would not have posted because I would not have wanted to be talked out of it. I guess AV is getting quieter. I'm just an emotional wreck right now so I am on guard.
Grateful to be sober and clearheaded for court.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Grateful11
Thank you so much CaliChris! You are doing superbly as well!
Thank you for what you said. You are right. In the past I would have planned a way to drink after work. Absolutely. I would not have posted because I would not have wanted to be talked out of it. I guess AV is getting quieter. I'm just an emotional wreck right now so I am on guard.
Grateful to be sober and clearheaded for court.
Thank you for what you said. You are right. In the past I would have planned a way to drink after work. Absolutely. I would not have posted because I would not have wanted to be talked out of it. I guess AV is getting quieter. I'm just an emotional wreck right now so I am on guard.
Grateful to be sober and clearheaded for court.
Yes, we must be on guard! Our bodies are beautiful and give us this rush of adrenaline when we are in danger so we can make safe decisons with blood rishing to our brains. This safety reflex in us was dead because of hang-overs and regrets from drinking the night before etc. The more days we bank up sober the more we get our natural reaction to stay away form danger back. This is what is happening with you and it is beautiful to witness.
Our sobriety is like a hike up on a beautiful bluff overlooking the gorgeous scenery below us. As beautiful as it is, if we take our eyes off the trail in front of us for too long we can fall and slip and get injured (or worse). The higher we go the bigger the fall, but I will take the views from up here anyday over the alternative! Keep cultivating your "being on guard". It is a very powerful and good thing!!!! So proud of you !!!!!!!!!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 201
Sorry you are having such a difficult time right now, greatfull and scooter. I hope things will look up for you soon. Just try to apply what you have learned so far in your sobriety and post here, of course
I'm up and have made it to work. Penkins, right there with you on the insomnia. That will pass.
Have a good day all.
I'm up and have made it to work. Penkins, right there with you on the insomnia. That will pass.
Have a good day all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 201
Sorry you are having such a difficult time right now, greatfull and scooter. I hope things will look up for you soon. Just try to apply what you have learned so far in your sobriety and post here, of course
I'm up and have made it to work. Penkins, right there with you on the insomnia. That will pass.
Have a good day all.
I'm up and have made it to work. Penkins, right there with you on the insomnia. That will pass.
Have a good day all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. I really do not have a support system for this, except SR.
Best of luck Grateful; let us know when it is over.
I went to the Y this morning, but only stayed about 45 minutes. I have one close friend I can talk with; I phoned her last night; she is busy with her family, dealing with teenagers, etc. But she listened. She has met this sister-in-law and thinks my brother will be better off without her. Of course, I realize that is probably true in the long run. But, right now he is a mess, and I am heart-broken. I am so worried about him and the three kids. He has not phoned today. I don't know if he stayed at home last night or went to a motel.
He begged me not to tell anyone else, so I cannot confide in any family members.
My poor neighbor was married to her husband for more than 60 years. They made a lovely couple who truly enjoyed each other. I will bake something later today and drop it off.
I finally started to cry, and now I cannot stop. I am so, so sad. I wish my brother was closer; he is in Texas, and I am in Massachusetts.
This is just awful.
Best of luck Grateful; let us know when it is over.
I went to the Y this morning, but only stayed about 45 minutes. I have one close friend I can talk with; I phoned her last night; she is busy with her family, dealing with teenagers, etc. But she listened. She has met this sister-in-law and thinks my brother will be better off without her. Of course, I realize that is probably true in the long run. But, right now he is a mess, and I am heart-broken. I am so worried about him and the three kids. He has not phoned today. I don't know if he stayed at home last night or went to a motel.
He begged me not to tell anyone else, so I cannot confide in any family members.
My poor neighbor was married to her husband for more than 60 years. They made a lovely couple who truly enjoyed each other. I will bake something later today and drop it off.
I finally started to cry, and now I cannot stop. I am so, so sad. I wish my brother was closer; he is in Texas, and I am in Massachusetts.
This is just awful.
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