Class of October 2013 - Part 13
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 324
All,
Great stuff here. Congrats Cindy (or did I say that already).
I understand about wanting to make amends. Sometimes the other person doesn't (or can't) acknowledge your apology. I had a good friend who was an alcoholic priest; he actually performed my wedding (I didn't know of his situation at that point). A number of us tried an intervention. He got wind of it, and refused to show up. It ended up costing him his job. Because of our prior relationship, I really wanted to reconcile. Never happened; he ended up dying in a hotel room in Central CA. Taught me a lot about a lot of things. But I had to deal, mostly, with my inability to receive forgiveness from him.
And I often think about the quote from someone (Desmond Tutu?): "Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies." My take-away: we have to be vigilant about forgiving ourselves, and being ready to ask. If we receive it, that's a bonus.
Fishy
Great stuff here. Congrats Cindy (or did I say that already).
I understand about wanting to make amends. Sometimes the other person doesn't (or can't) acknowledge your apology. I had a good friend who was an alcoholic priest; he actually performed my wedding (I didn't know of his situation at that point). A number of us tried an intervention. He got wind of it, and refused to show up. It ended up costing him his job. Because of our prior relationship, I really wanted to reconcile. Never happened; he ended up dying in a hotel room in Central CA. Taught me a lot about a lot of things. But I had to deal, mostly, with my inability to receive forgiveness from him.
And I often think about the quote from someone (Desmond Tutu?): "Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies." My take-away: we have to be vigilant about forgiving ourselves, and being ready to ask. If we receive it, that's a bonus.
Fishy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Long week since last weekend. Long difficult, very very stressful and tiring. Wife is a little better but still sick. I'm one exhausted zombie of a husband and daddy. In the bed at 8pm on a Saturday night. Thankful for sobriety, hopeful for a better week to come. Praying for mommy to feel better soon.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
How odd and refreshing a different mindset makes you feel! Instead of struggling inside my mind about not having a college degree to "get a better job", I googled ' can you succeed without a college degree'. Wether or not the results are valid , I'm just happy for a door to open in my thinking. Alcohol has had me going in a circle for yrs. Thank god for doors !
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Ok sorry on an iPhone, wrong button- wife still sick, middle of night-
A slip : a drink or a full on drunk, or does it really matter if it's a reminder of the living hell we've been in? Whew I'm tired. Gonna make a thankful list. Sober at the top. Reading more posts.
A slip : a drink or a full on drunk, or does it really matter if it's a reminder of the living hell we've been in? Whew I'm tired. Gonna make a thankful list. Sober at the top. Reading more posts.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Just breathe and do not future trip, Jeff! Congratulations on 120 days!!! You jumped right back on the wagon after your slip. Very few do this! Enjoy your triumph!!
We just went through a very difficult lunar eclipse. If you have any interest in astrology, they will tell you that no one was untouched by this, but the good thing about lunar eclipses is that they signal new beginnings. I believe that you are headed to better times, Jeff!!
We just went through a very difficult lunar eclipse. If you have any interest in astrology, they will tell you that no one was untouched by this, but the good thing about lunar eclipses is that they signal new beginnings. I believe that you are headed to better times, Jeff!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
Jeff - so glad to see your posts from this weekend. Checking in is so important! And way better than checking out. LOL Sorry to hear about your wife. Hopefully things will get better for all of you soon. Congrats on 120 days! You rock!!
HD - HAPPY ONE YEAR!!!
DD - I had no idea about the eclipse. I'm off to Google!
HD - HAPPY ONE YEAR!!!
DD - I had no idea about the eclipse. I'm off to Google!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
ONE YEAR TODAY!!!! Still too much $H*T happening to even breathe! Just wanted to say hi and let you all know that I am still alive and hanging on by my fingernails......glad to see you all still here! Any prayers, white light, anything sent my way would be appreciated 
Hugs to you all and thanks for keeping me sober!
Hugs to you all and thanks for keeping me sober!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Congrats, Rosebud and Trudging! So exciting to hit 1 year!
Sending good energy to those who need it, whether you need a lot or a little.
As for me, I've had a headache for the past 3 or 4 days. Even my prescription headache medicine isn't working. I slept most of yesterday, and tonight I'm laying low as well (and it's a rainy Monday just begging for pj's, a cup of tea, a blanket, and a book---a little different from this time last year, when I was drinking all the alcohol I could find). I'm in a good place regarding my sobriety, though. One year tomorrow. I went to a fundraising gala with open bar over the weekend and I wasn't tempted to drink at all. I panicked at one point thinking "What if I grabbed someone else's drink by mistake??" I'm pretty sure I didn't, but I'll be much more vigilant about holding my drink at all times. It's always something...
Sending good energy to those who need it, whether you need a lot or a little.
As for me, I've had a headache for the past 3 or 4 days. Even my prescription headache medicine isn't working. I slept most of yesterday, and tonight I'm laying low as well (and it's a rainy Monday just begging for pj's, a cup of tea, a blanket, and a book---a little different from this time last year, when I was drinking all the alcohol I could find). I'm in a good place regarding my sobriety, though. One year tomorrow. I went to a fundraising gala with open bar over the weekend and I wasn't tempted to drink at all. I panicked at one point thinking "What if I grabbed someone else's drink by mistake??" I'm pretty sure I didn't, but I'll be much more vigilant about holding my drink at all times. It's always something...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Congratulations, Trudging and Little Sparrow (in case I don't make it here tomorrow)!!!! I am so proud of everybody and grateful to have shared this journey with you.
I feel really good and solid about the "not drinking" part of sobriety, but it is the emotional sobriety thing that has been a test for me lately. I feel like it is two steps forward, three steps back. I am trying to worry less and be more aware but sometimes I just feel like a wreck. (I have had the headache thing going on, too, LS and I really think it is stress that I have brought on to myself) I was having trouble sleeping so I started taking melatonin, but I don't want to get dependent on it so I haven't taken it the last couple of nights and I have woken up with anxiety attacks throughout the night. It reminds me of the sh8tty sleeping patterns I had when I was a drinker and in my early sobriety and I just don't ever want to go back to that again . . . .
Wow, guys, I still think it is related to the lunar eclipse, with a lot of us feeling less than stellar these past few weeks . . . . .
I feel really good and solid about the "not drinking" part of sobriety, but it is the emotional sobriety thing that has been a test for me lately. I feel like it is two steps forward, three steps back. I am trying to worry less and be more aware but sometimes I just feel like a wreck. (I have had the headache thing going on, too, LS and I really think it is stress that I have brought on to myself) I was having trouble sleeping so I started taking melatonin, but I don't want to get dependent on it so I haven't taken it the last couple of nights and I have woken up with anxiety attacks throughout the night. It reminds me of the sh8tty sleeping patterns I had when I was a drinker and in my early sobriety and I just don't ever want to go back to that again . . . .
Wow, guys, I still think it is related to the lunar eclipse, with a lot of us feeling less than stellar these past few weeks . . . . .
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