Class of September 2014 part 2
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 133
Wow. So many Day 1s lately. I agree with Neverthought - you just have to ride it out. You're going to feel discomfort or even pain, but it's bearable if you take it second by second. The hardest thing for me was wondering how long it would take to pass. Not a good strategy...that wondering part. When I stopped projecting into the future it got easier.
Inflagrante. My Mom was an angry drunk too. She can't remember a lot of the things she did to me while drunk, as a matter of fact. They only recently discovered (because I told them) that the paint around the frame of the bathroom door is cracked because she tried to break the door down to get at me when she was hammered and enraged. I have a hard time trusting people too.
I read on one of your other posts that you're thinking about moving away from your isolated spot in Mexico. Might not be a bad idea. I lived on a small and isolated island once, and that was probably when my drinking hit an all time high (and I became agoraphobic). It was terrible. Awful memories. As beautiful as it was, I knew I had to leave and I knew I had to get professional help. It was the right decision for me.
ANewDayNYC. Visiting your parents sounds like a really good idea. AA also sounds like a good idea. You strike me as a person who needs to socialize.
Pretend3r. Congratulations to you!
safeandsound. To answer your question about being hungry - absolutely. It took a few days, but yes. I'm trying to cram as many vitamins into my system as possible via healthy food (esp. potassium and the B vitamins), but I also made myself a 5 layer Jello thingy and bought some ice cream to go with it. I've been eating about twice the amount I would normally eat, but I've lost weight.
NotSoIvory. If it's possible, try recording yourself on a webcam today. Or take a picture. After 1 week take another one and compare. I did that, and seeing the change really helped me. I can't wait to take the next one at 30 days.
So. I'm feeling good today. Even though it's that time of the month (yes, I have cheesecake), I'm feeling...well, not jumping up and down happy, but GOOD. I'm OK. I'm drinking Chai tea with milk and dark hot chocolate mix (yes, it is as good as it sounds), and it's so great to be satisfied with that and not consumed by thoughts of the liquor store. I'm feeling fine, and that is really, REALLY nice.
Inflagrante. My Mom was an angry drunk too. She can't remember a lot of the things she did to me while drunk, as a matter of fact. They only recently discovered (because I told them) that the paint around the frame of the bathroom door is cracked because she tried to break the door down to get at me when she was hammered and enraged. I have a hard time trusting people too.
I read on one of your other posts that you're thinking about moving away from your isolated spot in Mexico. Might not be a bad idea. I lived on a small and isolated island once, and that was probably when my drinking hit an all time high (and I became agoraphobic). It was terrible. Awful memories. As beautiful as it was, I knew I had to leave and I knew I had to get professional help. It was the right decision for me.
ANewDayNYC. Visiting your parents sounds like a really good idea. AA also sounds like a good idea. You strike me as a person who needs to socialize.
Pretend3r. Congratulations to you!
safeandsound. To answer your question about being hungry - absolutely. It took a few days, but yes. I'm trying to cram as many vitamins into my system as possible via healthy food (esp. potassium and the B vitamins), but I also made myself a 5 layer Jello thingy and bought some ice cream to go with it. I've been eating about twice the amount I would normally eat, but I've lost weight.
NotSoIvory. If it's possible, try recording yourself on a webcam today. Or take a picture. After 1 week take another one and compare. I did that, and seeing the change really helped me. I can't wait to take the next one at 30 days.
So. I'm feeling good today. Even though it's that time of the month (yes, I have cheesecake), I'm feeling...well, not jumping up and down happy, but GOOD. I'm OK. I'm drinking Chai tea with milk and dark hot chocolate mix (yes, it is as good as it sounds), and it's so great to be satisfied with that and not consumed by thoughts of the liquor store. I'm feeling fine, and that is really, REALLY nice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 872
Originally Posted by safeandsound 
I can't believe I am waking up without having had a drink last night!! I made it!!
--
Thanks Avice, I am looking forward to seeing my parents and I do like to socialize. One of the big challenges is a lot of my close friends drink and we would typically go out to bars. However, I am looking forward to starting some new activities (eg. Soccer league, volunteer work, etc.).
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 872
I hope everyone is having a good day today. Since my last time going out on Friday crossed into early Saturday morning – today is officially my sobriety date [9/14/14]. I am looking forward to making this stick. I feel like I am back on track, and I greatly appreciate the support from everyone here.
It was great waking up today without a hangover – I feel like this is the way life is supposed to be lived.
It was great waking up today without a hangover – I feel like this is the way life is supposed to be lived.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 872
Gnarlyboots, Lawgirl82, and DancingDiva congratulations on Day1 – I feel that is the hardest.
Also, great job Pretend3r and Deanyya on Day8, and Tic on Day17, and NeverThought on Day20!
Avice, jazzfish, NSI, shauninspain, Alynn, findingtheway, ForwardMotion, Bellaboos, LadyinBC, TryinginTexas, Panacea, CPM, JimJim, JasonNorth and Inflagrante (and everyone else) – I’m glad to be part of this class with you guys and hope everyone is having a good day.
Also, great job Pretend3r and Deanyya on Day8, and Tic on Day17, and NeverThought on Day20!
Avice, jazzfish, NSI, shauninspain, Alynn, findingtheway, ForwardMotion, Bellaboos, LadyinBC, TryinginTexas, Panacea, CPM, JimJim, JasonNorth and Inflagrante (and everyone else) – I’m glad to be part of this class with you guys and hope everyone is having a good day.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 272
Everyone is doing great - you should be so proud of yourself! Even if you just have a day or two - it's an achievement. 
Just keep at it! I really wish I had made it through. It feels frustrating to be here at day two when I joined this site in late March. I try to not dwell on "what could be" - instead I'm trying to think about "what WILL be."
Have a great Sunday, all!
Just keep at it! I really wish I had made it through. It feels frustrating to be here at day two when I joined this site in late March. I try to not dwell on "what could be" - instead I'm trying to think about "what WILL be."Have a great Sunday, all!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
Hey everyone! 2 weeks today 2nd time in my support life group at church went amazing! Trying to hold myself accountable.. Also told a close friend of my struggles with alcohol today.. She was supportive.. Anyways all is well. Something I learned today was that everyone in life is struggling with something. This just happens to be our struggle but were getting through it! Hang in there friends!
I can do all things through he who strengthens me
2nd time in my support life group at church went amazing! Trying to hold myself accountable.. Also told a close friend of my struggles with alcohol today.. She was supportive.. Anyways all is well. Something I learned today was that everyone in life is struggling with something. This just happens to be our struggle but were getting through it! Hang in there friends!I can do all things through he who strengthens me
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 134
DAY 8! Got past a week for only the second time in recent years. Been going to bed super early (if I'm sleepin', I ain't drinkin') and have ridden to the North Pole and back on the bike in the gym. Not sure where this road leads but so far it sure feels good
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 160
Originally Posted by safeandsound
I can't believe I am waking up without having had a drink last night!! I made it!! It's been at least 6 months since that happened.
It is such a relief, isn't it? Sending much support your way to keep up the good work and hoping you are able to continue to reap the benefits of your recovery. I am rooting for you. Extending the same to all others here determined to seek something better for themselves and their loved ones, especially those who are struggling today.
Originally Posted by safeandsound
There are so many people starting at the same time. Hope everyone made it yesterday, especially NSI. I know that depression and the feeling of being trapped by this horrible addiction. I try to tell myself I'm more than that. I'm a good person who does bad things when drunk. I also know depression doesn't always listen to logic, so I hope you're OK.
Originally Posted by Avice
NotSoIvory. If it's possible, try recording yourself on a webcam today. Or take a picture. After 1 week take another one and compare. I did that, and seeing the change really helped me. I can't wait to take the next one at 30 days.
Thank you to gnarlyboots (I like your screen name, lol), Pretend3r, ANewDayNYC, for the welcoming and well wishes. I feel as though I am among friends here.
On my way....
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
Also hitting the 2 week mark! Yea!! Glad to see everyone in good spirits, very happy to be a part of this class. Feeling really good today, no anxiety and getting into a sober life groove! Again, so happy for such positive support in this class, if you think about it, it's like we all have our own personal cheerleading squad here!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 160
Day 2. I feel 200% better today than I did yesterday. I don't want to have another day like that and I believe I have re-found that conviction that I had been searching for. I poured out the rest of the Jager and beers today.
Was doing some surfing around the internet yesterday, trying to understand a little more about relapse and I found some interesting facts. I thought that since I found some enlightenment from it, others might too.
12 triggers to relapse:
12 Triggers to Relapse
Self efficacy and staying sober:
Self-Efficacy and Staying Sober | Alcohol Rehab
I believe that complacency was probably my biggest downfall upon losing so many months of sobriety. That and being in an argumentative marriage where I often felt unimportant. Also, I have basically destroyed my self efficacy over the last year since then, causing great distrust in myself and a feeling of hopelessness. The page offered some good insights on rebuilding self efficacy little by little.
I've come to the conclusion that it is time for me to work the steps with a sponsor and that, for me, just quitting drinking and visiting meetings is not going to be enough to keep me sober in the long term. I need to uncover once and for all how to identify and address the underlying problems that caused me to seek out alcohol to begin with. I need to re-wire some of my thinking. Easier said than done, yes. But today, I have seen hope. Thank you for being there for me.
I was supposed to see my husband today for the first time in over a month. I have been practicing detachment lately. He is up to his old shenanigans, telling me he overspent and now can't afford to make it and can he borrow some money because he really wants to see me. I told him no and felt proud of sticking to my boundaries. I told him that I didn't need these kinds of things in my life, and especially not right now. Kinda reinforces the belief that sometimes things happen for a reason. I think it may be for the best that he didn't show.
Was doing some surfing around the internet yesterday, trying to understand a little more about relapse and I found some interesting facts. I thought that since I found some enlightenment from it, others might too.
12 triggers to relapse:
12 Triggers to Relapse
Self efficacy and staying sober:
Self-Efficacy and Staying Sober | Alcohol Rehab
I believe that complacency was probably my biggest downfall upon losing so many months of sobriety. That and being in an argumentative marriage where I often felt unimportant. Also, I have basically destroyed my self efficacy over the last year since then, causing great distrust in myself and a feeling of hopelessness. The page offered some good insights on rebuilding self efficacy little by little.
I've come to the conclusion that it is time for me to work the steps with a sponsor and that, for me, just quitting drinking and visiting meetings is not going to be enough to keep me sober in the long term. I need to uncover once and for all how to identify and address the underlying problems that caused me to seek out alcohol to begin with. I need to re-wire some of my thinking. Easier said than done, yes. But today, I have seen hope. Thank you for being there for me.
I was supposed to see my husband today for the first time in over a month. I have been practicing detachment lately. He is up to his old shenanigans, telling me he overspent and now can't afford to make it and can he borrow some money because he really wants to see me. I told him no and felt proud of sticking to my boundaries. I told him that I didn't need these kinds of things in my life, and especially not right now. Kinda reinforces the belief that sometimes things happen for a reason. I think it may be for the best that he didn't show.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
OK. So I actually just started crying reading all the messages here, geez, I guess I'm overwhelmed with how supportive and caring the people here are, it does feel like I'm among a good bunch of Homo sapiens. I’m probably also a little emotionally exhausted from holding out and not drinking I think! (nothing like a bit of internet anonymity for a guy to share his feelings lol). Sorry if that made anyone uncomfortable, I’m not usually an overly emotional person, so no more crying I promise
Day 2 for me.
Woke up about early this morning, was in default FTW mode, until I started trying to gauge how much of a hangover I would have, then it hit me, I’m sober, giddy up! No wave of nausea, no banging headache or acid reflux, I maybe a bit shakey but that’s OK.
Thanks to everyone for the good vibes; safeandsound, NotSoIvory, Neverthought, Dee74, AnewDayNYC, Pretend3r - and all the other folks here too. Right back at you all. Feels good to be part of the Sept class of ’14, that’s for sure.
Day 2 for me.
Woke up about early this morning, was in default FTW mode, until I started trying to gauge how much of a hangover I would have, then it hit me, I’m sober, giddy up! No wave of nausea, no banging headache or acid reflux, I maybe a bit shakey but that’s OK.
Thanks to everyone for the good vibes; safeandsound, NotSoIvory, Neverthought, Dee74, AnewDayNYC, Pretend3r - and all the other folks here too. Right back at you all. Feels good to be part of the Sept class of ’14, that’s for sure.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,131
Originally Posted by gnarlyboots
OK. So I actually just started crying reading all the messages here, geez, I guess I'm overwhelmed with how supportive and caring the people here are, it does feel like I'm among a good bunch of Homo sapiens. I’m probably also a little emotionally exhausted from holding out and not drinking I think! (nothing like a bit of internet anonymity for a guy to share his feelings lol). Sorry if that made anyone uncomfortable, I’m not usually an overly emotional person, so no more crying I promise
Day 2 for me.
Woke up about early this morning, was in default FTW mode, until I started trying to gauge how much of a hangover I would have, then it hit me, I’m sober, giddy up! No wave of nausea, no banging headache or acid reflux, I maybe a bit shakey but that’s OK.
Thanks to everyone for the good vibes; safeandsound, NotSoIvory, Neverthought, Dee74, AnewDayNYC, Pretend3r - and all the other folks here too. Right back at you all. Feels good to be part of the Sept class of ’14, that’s for sure.
Day 2 for me.
Woke up about early this morning, was in default FTW mode, until I started trying to gauge how much of a hangover I would have, then it hit me, I’m sober, giddy up! No wave of nausea, no banging headache or acid reflux, I maybe a bit shakey but that’s OK.
Thanks to everyone for the good vibes; safeandsound, NotSoIvory, Neverthought, Dee74, AnewDayNYC, Pretend3r - and all the other folks here too. Right back at you all. Feels good to be part of the Sept class of ’14, that’s for sure.
No one is exempt from pain and emotions. Or just emotions for that matter!
Nice work and congrats on day (2).
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
notSolvory and Gnarly Thank you for both of your posts! Very inspiring! I really really do love this class. As this is my first time time being open about my struggles it's been a crazy ride. The support is amazing! I really look forward to seeing everyone's posts and thoughts!
Forward motion great to see ya! Happy 2 weeks
Glad your hanging in there NewDayNYC! Keep on keeping on class!
Forward motion great to see ya! Happy 2 weeks
Glad your hanging in there NewDayNYC! Keep on keeping on class!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 104
Morning all
Notsoivory thanks for that link, interestingly all those triggers are also the way alcohol makes me feel and act. Especially the cockiness trigger, that's one of my worst. ugh, the shame and embarrassment the next morning when I think of how I was rambling on
I start work today. A new job. Been a full time mum and now I'm getting back out there. Feeling positive and glad I've not got to worry about smelling like last night's wine.
Keep it going everyone!
Notsoivory thanks for that link, interestingly all those triggers are also the way alcohol makes me feel and act. Especially the cockiness trigger, that's one of my worst. ugh, the shame and embarrassment the next morning when I think of how I was rambling on
I start work today. A new job. Been a full time mum and now I'm getting back out there. Feeling positive and glad I've not got to worry about smelling like last night's wine.
Keep it going everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Flevoland
Posts: 103
Congrats to everyone who made it through the weekend and welcome to those who joined us long the way!
Everyone's posts have been so encouraging. I experienced an emotional "low" period over the weekend. I fell a little bit off the pink cloud I hear referenced. Thanks to my avid reading I was able to recognized it for what it was- just the normal ebb and flow of human emotions. The addict in me wanted to reach for a drink but my true self held strong. It has taken practice for me to overcome those urges. I drowned my emotions in alcohol for way too long.
Today is my 35th day sober and I am so very grateful. A little melancholy, but grateful. I know that getting things accomplished is something that lifts my spirits so today my goal is finish everything on my to do list. I hope you all have a great start to the week. =)
Everyone's posts have been so encouraging. I experienced an emotional "low" period over the weekend. I fell a little bit off the pink cloud I hear referenced. Thanks to my avid reading I was able to recognized it for what it was- just the normal ebb and flow of human emotions. The addict in me wanted to reach for a drink but my true self held strong. It has taken practice for me to overcome those urges. I drowned my emotions in alcohol for way too long.
Today is my 35th day sober and I am so very grateful. A little melancholy, but grateful. I know that getting things accomplished is something that lifts my spirits so today my goal is finish everything on my to do list. I hope you all have a great start to the week. =)
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,131
Originally Posted by SuperMega
Congrats to everyone who made it through the weekend and welcome to those who joined us long the way!
Everyone's posts have been so encouraging. I experienced an emotional "low" period over the weekend. I fell a little bit off the pink cloud I hear referenced. Thanks to my avid reading I was able to recognized it for what it was- just the normal ebb and flow of human emotions. The addict in me wanted to reach for a drink but my true self held strong. It has taken practice for me to overcome those urges. I drowned my emotions in alcohol for way too long.
Today is my 35th day sober and I am so very grateful. A little melancholy, but grateful. I know that getting things accomplished is something that lifts my spirits so today my goal is finish everything on my to do list. I hope you all have a great start to the week. =)
Everyone's posts have been so encouraging. I experienced an emotional "low" period over the weekend. I fell a little bit off the pink cloud I hear referenced. Thanks to my avid reading I was able to recognized it for what it was- just the normal ebb and flow of human emotions. The addict in me wanted to reach for a drink but my true self held strong. It has taken practice for me to overcome those urges. I drowned my emotions in alcohol for way too long.
Today is my 35th day sober and I am so very grateful. A little melancholy, but grateful. I know that getting things accomplished is something that lifts my spirits so today my goal is finish everything on my to do list. I hope you all have a great start to the week. =)
I'll tell you what SM, if I new then, what I've known for the past 3 years, since joining SR, this journey would have begun 9 years ago for me.
I know I've been on and off for the past three years, but it's quite monumental compared to my life before then.
Stick with it SM, you are ahead of the game.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 315
Morning, all!
Definitely not feeling as good as yesterday. Feel exhausted and anxious about how to get through a work week sober. For today, I'm going to go hour by hour. And drink coffee, which I don't usually do much because of my stomach. At least I don't have to worry (and I did, constantly) about smelling like booze, as bellaboos said! I have actually had someone pull me aside to alert me that I reeked of alcohol. At work.
NSI thanks for the links. So glad you made it through! I was worried. It also tells me we can get through dark times without a drink.
SuperMega, hi, I'm new. Liked "the normal ebb and flow of human emotions." I am not good at accepting those!
Good luck to all for a sober day!
Definitely not feeling as good as yesterday. Feel exhausted and anxious about how to get through a work week sober. For today, I'm going to go hour by hour. And drink coffee, which I don't usually do much because of my stomach. At least I don't have to worry (and I did, constantly) about smelling like booze, as bellaboos said! I have actually had someone pull me aside to alert me that I reeked of alcohol. At work.
NSI thanks for the links. So glad you made it through! I was worried. It also tells me we can get through dark times without a drink.
SuperMega, hi, I'm new. Liked "the normal ebb and flow of human emotions." I am not good at accepting those!
Good luck to all for a sober day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 160
Originally Posted by bellaboos
Morning all
Notsoivory thanks for that link, interestingly all those triggers are also the way alcohol makes me feel and act. Especially the cockiness trigger, that's one of my worst. ugh, the shame and embarrassment the next morning when I think of how I was rambling on
Keep it going everyone!
Notsoivory thanks for that link, interestingly all those triggers are also the way alcohol makes me feel and act. Especially the cockiness trigger, that's one of my worst. ugh, the shame and embarrassment the next morning when I think of how I was rambling on
Keep it going everyone!
Originally Posted by safeandsound
Morning, all!
Definitely not feeling as good as yesterday. Feel exhausted and anxious about how to get through a work week sober. For today, I'm going to go hour by hour.
NSI thanks for the links. So glad you made it through! I was worried. It also tells me we can get through dark times without a drink.
Definitely not feeling as good as yesterday. Feel exhausted and anxious about how to get through a work week sober. For today, I'm going to go hour by hour.
NSI thanks for the links. So glad you made it through! I was worried. It also tells me we can get through dark times without a drink.
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