Class of August 2014 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Forabetterlife, I have done the same thing sooooo many times! Most of us have. Difference is, we have this site now and people that get it and can help and inspire you to push through. The AV lies, and you see that. All we can do is pick ourselves up, hold our heads high and get back in the fight. Glad you are back! You can and will do this.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Thank you!!! You are right determined, this site is a tremendous help and the support makes all the difference but we have to remember to turn here even when our minds and bodies feel like they are on autopilot. I know I have literally been in parking lots ready to get a bottle of wine, decided to log into sr and just reading a few posts reminded me of what I was fighting for. Because we know that sneaky AV tells us that quitting is unnecessary.
Anyway, grateful to wake up on day 3, sober and rested. My life is like night and day with alcohol and without, this short week has proven that to me maybe more than ever. Have a great sober day all
Anyway, grateful to wake up on day 3, sober and rested. My life is like night and day with alcohol and without, this short week has proven that to me maybe more than ever. Have a great sober day all
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hi everyone, firstly so glad you've come back FABL, its progressed in a similar way with me in the past when Ive slipped so totally understand.
My backs hurting today and its getting me down, its been ok all summer but aggravated an old injury about ten days ago, trying to cope and get through- thought everything was going too well and was planning on doing some weight raining this week but that's gone now.
Got an AA meeting tonight in which I volunteered to bring the milk and do 'service' tonight, its coincided with Wales' first euro qualifier in the football so have to be honest and say that Im regretting putting my name forward. Watching the footy is one of the few past times that alcohol hasn't robbed me of and I'll find it hard tonight, my own fault for diving in, when others thought it through....
My backs hurting today and its getting me down, its been ok all summer but aggravated an old injury about ten days ago, trying to cope and get through- thought everything was going too well and was planning on doing some weight raining this week but that's gone now.
Got an AA meeting tonight in which I volunteered to bring the milk and do 'service' tonight, its coincided with Wales' first euro qualifier in the football so have to be honest and say that Im regretting putting my name forward. Watching the footy is one of the few past times that alcohol hasn't robbed me of and I'll find it hard tonight, my own fault for diving in, when others thought it through....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by penkins 
2:47 this afternoon I text my husband and ask if he would consider us stopping drinking together. He responds with yes. (I asked him because he has said many times he wants us to stop.)
5:15 he says that he will support me and that he can turn it off any time he wants - but right now he doesn't want to.
6:00 he buys beer
I think now that I have experienced a few sober days I realize that I am married to an alcoholic. How am I gonna be able to stop when I live with a human version of a beer store? It's always here- there are parties every weekend at our house.
I'm not giving up - but it sure feels like life is against me.
5:15 he says that he will support me and that he can turn it off any time he wants - but right now he doesn't want to.
6:00 he buys beer
I think now that I have experienced a few sober days I realize that I am married to an alcoholic. How am I gonna be able to stop when I live with a human version of a beer store? It's always here- there are parties every weekend at our house.
I'm not giving up - but it sure feels like life is against me.
He definitely couldn't. He pretended to give up with me. We didn't live together and he always drank when he saw me at the weekends. He would either head to the pub before he met me ( could smell it on him) or if he had to pop out to get a newpaper.. and I discovered a hipflask in his weekend bag.
I think you should speak with your hubby Penkins because it would be a lot easier if you both stopped together.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Penkins I found that other people had a really hard time trying to understand my alcoholism.
I could be out of control drunk and people would be still handing me beers.
I think, in the end, we can't make other people understand. It's great of they do but sometimes they just won't.
We have a responsibility to ourselves to say no I'm not drinking - and to find support from people who understand when saying no is hard to do.
D
I could be out of control drunk and people would be still handing me beers.
I think, in the end, we can't make other people understand. It's great of they do but sometimes they just won't.
We have a responsibility to ourselves to say no I'm not drinking - and to find support from people who understand when saying no is hard to do.
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
Not sure if anyone remembers me, I had I think 12 days until a week ago. I felt fabulous, got through some big triggers and then one night it was 3 beers, the next 6, the next 3/4 of a bottle of wine, all the way up to a bottle of wine and 6 beers throughout the day and night. I mention the amount only to point out the quick progression. The first night I told myself Id start drinking one night a week ( I'm mostly a solo drinker). Really? How many Times have I said that and when did it EVER work? If I drink, the next day I just want more and more.
Sunday I woke up and said enough. I have so much going on in my life.. Some good, some stressful, and many responsibilities that I just cannot handle If I waste time being drunk and hungover. And I know the progression will just continue
The worst was I judged my alcoholic father for slipping for a few days, while I went home and did the same in secret. I was a judgemental hypocrite. No excuse.
I was just going to quietly disappear from this group as I have with many others, but a new start, a new group, a new month, wasn't the answer before, why now? I'd like to stick with you guys and continue to help each other get through this.
I am not one to rationalize my relapses. They are my own fault and if I don't fight hard enough I won't get where I want to be. Plain and simple.
Ending day 2, happy to be back.
Sunday I woke up and said enough. I have so much going on in my life.. Some good, some stressful, and many responsibilities that I just cannot handle If I waste time being drunk and hungover. And I know the progression will just continue
The worst was I judged my alcoholic father for slipping for a few days, while I went home and did the same in secret. I was a judgemental hypocrite. No excuse.
I was just going to quietly disappear from this group as I have with many others, but a new start, a new group, a new month, wasn't the answer before, why now? I'd like to stick with you guys and continue to help each other get through this.
I am not one to rationalize my relapses. They are my own fault and if I don't fight hard enough I won't get where I want to be. Plain and simple.
Ending day 2, happy to be back.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
Thank you!!! You are right determined, this site is a tremendous help and the support makes all the difference but we have to remember to turn here even when our minds and bodies feel like they are on autopilot. I know I have literally been in parking lots ready to get a bottle of wine, decided to log into sr and just reading a few posts reminded me of what I was fighting for. Because we know that sneaky AV tells us that quitting is unnecessary.
Anyway, grateful to wake up on day 3, sober and rested. My life is like night and day with alcohol and without, this short week has proven that to me maybe more than ever. Have a great sober day all
Anyway, grateful to wake up on day 3, sober and rested. My life is like night and day with alcohol and without, this short week has proven that to me maybe more than ever. Have a great sober day all
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Today is Day 25 for me; my last day drunk was actually August 5th, but because of my pride and my privacy issues, I had two Miller Lite beers on August 6th and August 13th and one frozen Marguerita on August 15th. WHY? Because I was with my book club, and I did not want the woman who called me out about the fact she could tell I had had been drinking before the meeting to know that she had gotten to me. When we next met, she was unable to make it and I announced that I was doing low-carb. The book club meets again tomorrow night, but I will be fine because it seems people accept dieting more than abstaining from alcohol.
So, although today is my Day 25, I had seven earlier days in August when I had no alcohol, and three when I had alcohol but did not get drunk.
So, this woman who annoys me, who I wish would quit our book club or stop dominating every discussion and finding sex behind every page of every book, who is loud and obnoxious.......might just be the one who saved my life.
But, I never would have gotten this far without SR, I AM SURE OF THAT!
So, although today is my Day 25, I had seven earlier days in August when I had no alcohol, and three when I had alcohol but did not get drunk.
So, this woman who annoys me, who I wish would quit our book club or stop dominating every discussion and finding sex behind every page of every book, who is loud and obnoxious.......might just be the one who saved my life.
But, I never would have gotten this far without SR, I AM SURE OF THAT!
Last edited by ScooterBoo; 09-09-2014 at 04:19 AM. Reason: But,I never would have gotten this far without SR. I AM SURE OF THAT!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Post and run to say hi all. I will write something more meaningful later!
Eye is healing, cold improving, just blitzed a meeting at work which I would have drank before and after in the old days, sun is shining. Great to be sober!
On guard for the AV to come ruin the above so going to a lunchtime AA
Catch you all later :-)
Eye is healing, cold improving, just blitzed a meeting at work which I would have drank before and after in the old days, sun is shining. Great to be sober!
On guard for the AV to come ruin the above so going to a lunchtime AA
Catch you all later :-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by ScooterBoo
The book club meets again tomorrow night, but I will be fine because it seems people accept dieting more than abstaining from alcohol.
I am going to tell people that I am getting into my fitness and abstaining for a while. This will stop all the unnecessary questioning I would get if I told people I have stopped drinking. I am not ashamed, just cant be bothered for people to analyse my behaviour
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Day 23 here, and feeling a bit more positive now, decided to carry on with my commitment to service on the Thursday night meeting and have told the secretary of tonights meeting that one service a week is enough for me right now and they were ok about it. Ive got to learn to do what is right for me instead of trying to look good and please people in future. Hoping my skin will get thicker the longer sober I am...
Got a session with alcohol councillor this afternoon so can get some stuff of my chest then.
Got a session with alcohol councillor this afternoon so can get some stuff of my chest then.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
Not sure if anyone remembers me, I had I think 12 days until a week ago. I felt fabulous, got through some big triggers and then one night it was 3 beers, the next 6, the next 3/4 of a bottle of wine, all the way up to a bottle of wine and 6 beers throughout the day and night. I mention the amount only to point out the quick progression. The first night I told myself Id start drinking one night a week ( I'm mostly a solo drinker). Really? How many Times have I said that and when did it EVER work? If I drink, the next day I just want more and more.
Sunday I woke up and said enough. I have so much going on in my life.. Some good, some stressful, and many responsibilities that I just cannot handle If I waste time being drunk and hungover. And I know the progression will just continue
The worst was I judged my alcoholic father for slipping for a few days, while I went home and did the same in secret. I was a judgemental hypocrite. No excuse.
I was just going to quietly disappear from this group as I have with many others, but a new start, a new group, a new month, wasn't the answer before, why now? I'd like to stick with you guys and continue to help each other get through this.
I am not one to rationalize my relapses. They are my own fault and if I don't fight hard enough I won't get where I want to be. Plain and simple.
Ending day 2, happy to be back.
Sunday I woke up and said enough. I have so much going on in my life.. Some good, some stressful, and many responsibilities that I just cannot handle If I waste time being drunk and hungover. And I know the progression will just continue
The worst was I judged my alcoholic father for slipping for a few days, while I went home and did the same in secret. I was a judgemental hypocrite. No excuse.
I was just going to quietly disappear from this group as I have with many others, but a new start, a new group, a new month, wasn't the answer before, why now? I'd like to stick with you guys and continue to help each other get through this.
I am not one to rationalize my relapses. They are my own fault and if I don't fight hard enough I won't get where I want to be. Plain and simple.
Ending day 2, happy to be back.
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