One Year and Under Club Part 38
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Hi y'all -- great to see you Stevie!
I'm just dropping in to let you know if you didn't already that toots has 18 months today. She's getting big virtual hugs from me, for sure! Post a little love if you're a toots fan!
I'm just dropping in to let you know if you didn't already that toots has 18 months today. She's getting big virtual hugs from me, for sure! Post a little love if you're a toots fan!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
So bummed...just lost my post.
Okay, a brief recap:
BF, good show on keeping sobriety first in the face of a mind storm. I found out my sister was a half sister by snooping in 8th grade. It really has never made a difference...we put in wayyy to much combat time together with Mommy Dearest.
Sorry about the hot weather. This was a fantastic weekend here. Bright sun, quite cool...sweatshirt to the tee. I can step outside wearing my sweatshirt and swear I smell footballs in the air! My new fav is a USVI sweatshirt purchased at the St Thomas airport to fend off the air conditioning. I only had one long sleeve t-shirt that was packed and dirty. Now it reminds me what is in store for the future.
Congrats, Toots.
My best to all...can't help but think ink....teehee and tata
Okay, a brief recap:
BF, good show on keeping sobriety first in the face of a mind storm. I found out my sister was a half sister by snooping in 8th grade. It really has never made a difference...we put in wayyy to much combat time together with Mommy Dearest.
Sorry about the hot weather. This was a fantastic weekend here. Bright sun, quite cool...sweatshirt to the tee. I can step outside wearing my sweatshirt and swear I smell footballs in the air! My new fav is a USVI sweatshirt purchased at the St Thomas airport to fend off the air conditioning. I only had one long sleeve t-shirt that was packed and dirty. Now it reminds me what is in store for the future.
Congrats, Toots.
My best to all...can't help but think ink....teehee and tata
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Toots - Congratulations on 18 months of sobriety. Your wisdom and advice pointed me towards how to get sober, and stay sober. I feel so fortunate that our journeys crossed on SR, and treasure the friendship that has blossomed from it. My life is so much richer and more beautiful than ever because of people like you who I count among my friends! Hugs to you!!
Stevie - Hi and great job on all that sober time. I read back on the Undies thread over the summer for the year leading up to when I joined the conversation, and was in awe of your work hours and humongous meals. I'm glad you popped in and glad to hear that you're fit, happy, and sober!
Gilmer - I don't know that I'm able to give 100 percent of myself 100 percent of the time, but I'm enjoying the people in my life as much if not more than ever before. I had an interesting experience yesterday at a friend's house. There were a few people who I'm close to, as well as a few people who I'm not - including a woman who screamed at me at a hockey rink because she thought I was being nasty to her (I wasn't overtly mean, but I feel that my actions were directed by my ego), and another woman who hangs out a lot with Needyfriend's family. In the past, I would have spent my time uncomfortably focused on what I looked like to those people. Instead, last night I enjoyed my time focused on my friends, with absolutely little awareness of what those other folks were doing, except to make sure that I didn't trip over them when I was walking over to get some snacks. Ha!
Hi Courage! Hi Saskia! I hope all is well for you!! Thinking of you, LS.
Carlos -
I've eaten horribly all weekend long, having pizza for four meals (I don't even like it that much!), but am looking forward to some time in the kitchen early this week to cook a few healthy meals in advance. Have a good day Undies!
Stevie - Hi and great job on all that sober time. I read back on the Undies thread over the summer for the year leading up to when I joined the conversation, and was in awe of your work hours and humongous meals. I'm glad you popped in and glad to hear that you're fit, happy, and sober!
Gilmer - I don't know that I'm able to give 100 percent of myself 100 percent of the time, but I'm enjoying the people in my life as much if not more than ever before. I had an interesting experience yesterday at a friend's house. There were a few people who I'm close to, as well as a few people who I'm not - including a woman who screamed at me at a hockey rink because she thought I was being nasty to her (I wasn't overtly mean, but I feel that my actions were directed by my ego), and another woman who hangs out a lot with Needyfriend's family. In the past, I would have spent my time uncomfortably focused on what I looked like to those people. Instead, last night I enjoyed my time focused on my friends, with absolutely little awareness of what those other folks were doing, except to make sure that I didn't trip over them when I was walking over to get some snacks. Ha!
Hi Courage! Hi Saskia! I hope all is well for you!! Thinking of you, LS.
Carlos -
I've eaten horribly all weekend long, having pizza for four meals (I don't even like it that much!), but am looking forward to some time in the kitchen early this week to cook a few healthy meals in advance. Have a good day Undies!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Good work toots 
And good morning all of you wonderful people!
I gathered the courage to have a talk with my father this morning about his increasing drug and alcohol use, i'm not sure how much he took on board but hey, I needed to say something just so he knows where I stand with it; which is to say he needs to cut the crap, grow up and be a responsible adult. Just saying something has made me feel 100% better.
To everyone out there fighting the good fight, keep fighting; We are winning.
Sending peace, strength, serenity and joy.
LS
And good morning all of you wonderful people!
I gathered the courage to have a talk with my father this morning about his increasing drug and alcohol use, i'm not sure how much he took on board but hey, I needed to say something just so he knows where I stand with it; which is to say he needs to cut the crap, grow up and be a responsible adult. Just saying something has made me feel 100% better.
To everyone out there fighting the good fight, keep fighting; We are winning.
Sending peace, strength, serenity and joy.
LS
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Good morning, Undies!
I'm grateful for another sober morning! Rapidly heading toward 2 months :-)
LS, good for you for telling your father how you see it. He may or may not change but you have done what you needed to do.
This is one of my IOP mornings so it will be busy - but that's better than bored and/or drinking!
I'm grateful for another sober morning! Rapidly heading toward 2 months :-)
LS, good for you for telling your father how you see it. He may or may not change but you have done what you needed to do.
This is one of my IOP mornings so it will be busy - but that's better than bored and/or drinking!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Well thank you all for the congratulations! 18 months does feel like a big deal to me; I was sat on the sofa last nite with hubby & said it is one and a half years since I last had a drink, I am so proud of myself. He told me I ought to be it was quite an achievement and that he was proud too. Of course I went and spoiled it by saying let's celebrate where's the brandy!! ( kidding! Yes I did actually say it, but we both knew I was joking!)
Gilmer I remember reading a quote once that struck a chord with me, it went along the lines of " it's easy to be nice to nice people" meaning I felt, we ought put more work into finding ways to be nice to those we like rather less. Also I understand about 'phoning it in' with long term relationships, we frequently know where a conversation is going so switch into auto mode. Instead we ought to make a habit of really listening to the person, perhaps even beginning some new interactions to stir things round a bit!
LS, it took courage to approach your father you out to to be proud of yourself for doing that. As you know he will address his problems only when he is ready to, but you may well have given him a nudge in the right direction. Does he understand the depth of your problems? If not, perhaps sharing that with him, and explaining that you would love having him in your sober life as a sober parent might give another nudge.
Glee, thank you sweetheart, it fills my heart to watch someone working as hard at their sober journey as you do.
Carlos referred to an AA message several months back when he said that when we stop drinking we have a drink sized gap to fill in sobriety. It isn't enough just to put away the bottle, we need to seek to fill our time with passion and interest and personal development to ensure that gap closes and never tempts us to fill it again.
BeFree, I hope it cools some for you. Our apartment block fire alarm went off at 3:30 this morning (thankfully a false alarm) but it was reeeeallly cold stood around waiting for the firies to give us the all clear and let us back in. Then of course we lay awake for ages telling ourselves to hurry up and go back to sleep! Anyhoo, I hope it cools for you. I am glad that you are beginning to do more to have a personal life and to further your career, you are strengthening your sobriety all the time. I am proud of you my wee friend.
Happy Monday to all my Undie friends, I hope you are looking forward to another sober industrious week.
Gilmer I remember reading a quote once that struck a chord with me, it went along the lines of " it's easy to be nice to nice people" meaning I felt, we ought put more work into finding ways to be nice to those we like rather less. Also I understand about 'phoning it in' with long term relationships, we frequently know where a conversation is going so switch into auto mode. Instead we ought to make a habit of really listening to the person, perhaps even beginning some new interactions to stir things round a bit!
LS, it took courage to approach your father you out to to be proud of yourself for doing that. As you know he will address his problems only when he is ready to, but you may well have given him a nudge in the right direction. Does he understand the depth of your problems? If not, perhaps sharing that with him, and explaining that you would love having him in your sober life as a sober parent might give another nudge.
Glee, thank you sweetheart, it fills my heart to watch someone working as hard at their sober journey as you do.
Carlos referred to an AA message several months back when he said that when we stop drinking we have a drink sized gap to fill in sobriety. It isn't enough just to put away the bottle, we need to seek to fill our time with passion and interest and personal development to ensure that gap closes and never tempts us to fill it again.
BeFree, I hope it cools some for you. Our apartment block fire alarm went off at 3:30 this morning (thankfully a false alarm) but it was reeeeallly cold stood around waiting for the firies to give us the all clear and let us back in. Then of course we lay awake for ages telling ourselves to hurry up and go back to sleep! Anyhoo, I hope it cools for you. I am glad that you are beginning to do more to have a personal life and to further your career, you are strengthening your sobriety all the time. I am proud of you my wee friend.
Happy Monday to all my Undie friends, I hope you are looking forward to another sober industrious week.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
I'm feeling more steady in my sobriety these days. I ended up telling a couple of my friends that I'm not drinking anymore, that I struggled with quitting, that I had a long depression when I quit, that I've made some major changes in my approach to life, etc. The conversation happened organically, and they were warm and receptive to what I had to say. We have fun together, drunk or sober, and afterwards I thought maybe they'll stop offering me shots when we get together. Or maybe not. Now I won't feel like I'm keeping a secret every time they offer me a drink and I say no thanks.
One step forward and one step back. While I made great strides feeling steadier in my sober skin, I find my depression and anxiety bubbling back up. I'm struggling with motivation to get to the gym (depression), where intense physical activity modulates my physical symptoms of anxiety.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that there is no easy solution for these issues, aside from diligence and hard work. It's not because my husband drank all weekend, or because my stepmother said something rude, or because my kids argued with each other, or because I don't find my job satisfying. It's me. And it's up to me to use the tools at my disposal to maintain the health of my mind, body, and soul. Fancy that! In recovery I have been shocked by my immaturity.
In recovery, I am making a promise to myself to seek happiness, joy and freedom in all that I do. Hmm, how will I ever remind myself to do that???
One step forward and one step back. While I made great strides feeling steadier in my sober skin, I find my depression and anxiety bubbling back up. I'm struggling with motivation to get to the gym (depression), where intense physical activity modulates my physical symptoms of anxiety.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that there is no easy solution for these issues, aside from diligence and hard work. It's not because my husband drank all weekend, or because my stepmother said something rude, or because my kids argued with each other, or because I don't find my job satisfying. It's me. And it's up to me to use the tools at my disposal to maintain the health of my mind, body, and soul. Fancy that! In recovery I have been shocked by my immaturity.
In recovery, I am making a promise to myself to seek happiness, joy and freedom in all that I do. Hmm, how will I ever remind myself to do that???
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Well done on telling your friends Glee! It will make things so much easier. With regards to the gym have you tried stepping all your weights and intensity back and keep the workout in a moderate pace? Sometimes taking a step back is what you need to get motivated again.
It's also motivating setting yourself a target such as a specific amount of weight to lose or specific strength gain target, once you have something to work towards you might find more motivation to train
It's also motivating setting yourself a target such as a specific amount of weight to lose or specific strength gain target, once you have something to work towards you might find more motivation to train
Working-cl*** pseudo tough
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 485
Happy 18 months Toots. You provide such a positive and healthy inspiration to the rest of us.
Must be the time of year. I too was having bad anxiety over the weekend, and along with this came some blue feelings. Like my DW reminds me "It is normal to feel anxiety and depressed at times. Normal people have these feelings." (((GF))) - I know exactly how you're feeling.
So I remind myself that having feelings is normal, as normal people don't self-medicate with alcohol to keep from feeling anything.
Also read an interesting article in the op-ed section of the newspaper today about the "Toxic Environments" that children grow up in that cause cortisone issues in the brain. Generally, the article was that childhood should not be "winning the lottery". Problem is, unless you pursue forced sterilization of "unsuitable" parents, or you need to pass a parenting test (like a driver's license), how is this ever achievable?
Maybe the exercise isn't a bad idea. Problem I have (like many newbies) is that my energy levels are very low without my regular infusion of alcohol-fuelled manicness! I'm having a hard enough time getting my non-boozed up brain to sleep, staying asleep, then dragging my carcass out of bed and off to work. I actually slept in to 9:30 on Saturday AM. 9:30!!!! I haven't slept that late since I was a teenager.
And I was still tired when I got up.......
Patience Sparky, patience. And a happy womp womp Monday to all of my fellow undies who are back at the grindstone today.
Originally Posted by gleefan 
One step forward and one step back. While I made great strides feeling steadier in my sober skin, I find my depression and anxiety bubbling back up. I'm struggling with motivation to get to the gym (depression), where intense physical activity modulates my physical symptoms of anxiety.
So I remind myself that having feelings is normal, as normal people don't self-medicate with alcohol to keep from feeling anything.
Also read an interesting article in the op-ed section of the newspaper today about the "Toxic Environments" that children grow up in that cause cortisone issues in the brain. Generally, the article was that childhood should not be "winning the lottery". Problem is, unless you pursue forced sterilization of "unsuitable" parents, or you need to pass a parenting test (like a driver's license), how is this ever achievable?
Maybe the exercise isn't a bad idea. Problem I have (like many newbies) is that my energy levels are very low without my regular infusion of alcohol-fuelled manicness! I'm having a hard enough time getting my non-boozed up brain to sleep, staying asleep, then dragging my carcass out of bed and off to work. I actually slept in to 9:30 on Saturday AM. 9:30!!!! I haven't slept that late since I was a teenager.
And I was still tired when I got up.......
Patience Sparky, patience. And a happy womp womp Monday to all of my fellow undies who are back at the grindstone today.
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