Class of August 2014 Part 3
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 38
Hi Team August-
I am not much of writer. Many of your posts have given me inspiration in the mornings, determination during the day, and most important comfort at night. You are all such great story tellers.
Today is day 23. SR is a 24/7 must for me. I have been drinking for 32 years. Daily for last couple. I remember in college having beers at 7am before kick-off and thinking I cannot do this. I'm gonna puke. The months leading up to quitting you could find me with beer, wine or vodka/oj In a red solo cup as I drove off to work with my 7 year old daughter that I drop off to school first. I own a small business and I would text an employee to stop and grab a 6pk or a bottle of wine for me. I actually believed the alcohol helped me run my business. Around 3-4pm I would go get my daughter with red solo cup. And proceed to soccer, hip hop, gymnastics. How did I make it without hurting anyone or DUIs is a miracle.
When we got home I continued with having a drink in the bathroom as I showered. Then drank till bedtime. Sleep would become my biggest obstacle. Night time would be literally my darkest hours as I would drink to get back to bed. That was a futile exercise. The anxiety and loneliness that ensued was overwhelming.
I have been addicted to klonopin for 8 years. Finally stopped in March. How? I goog how and many users suggested booze of course. Alcohol, klonopin and ambien... My trifecta.
Enough babbling so I wanted to join Team August and didn't know how or really what to say. I hope I didn't bore you. As we all know it is a struggle. Just to function as husband, father, friend, provider was a huge task for me before. Now throw in sobriety... It's like fighting f ing King Kong every day.
My Dr gave me two pieces of advice;
A. Your wife and daughter will not be equipped to provide the support you need nor is it fair to burden them. Thank you SR brothers and sisters!!!
B. That not IF but WHEN you relapse.
Anyway I am proud of myself for posting. Looking forward to our Team's journey together (ups/downs, good/bad, triumphs/defeats).
"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
--Christopher Robin
I am not much of writer. Many of your posts have given me inspiration in the mornings, determination during the day, and most important comfort at night. You are all such great story tellers.
Today is day 23. SR is a 24/7 must for me. I have been drinking for 32 years. Daily for last couple. I remember in college having beers at 7am before kick-off and thinking I cannot do this. I'm gonna puke. The months leading up to quitting you could find me with beer, wine or vodka/oj In a red solo cup as I drove off to work with my 7 year old daughter that I drop off to school first. I own a small business and I would text an employee to stop and grab a 6pk or a bottle of wine for me. I actually believed the alcohol helped me run my business. Around 3-4pm I would go get my daughter with red solo cup. And proceed to soccer, hip hop, gymnastics. How did I make it without hurting anyone or DUIs is a miracle.
When we got home I continued with having a drink in the bathroom as I showered. Then drank till bedtime. Sleep would become my biggest obstacle. Night time would be literally my darkest hours as I would drink to get back to bed. That was a futile exercise. The anxiety and loneliness that ensued was overwhelming.
I have been addicted to klonopin for 8 years. Finally stopped in March. How? I goog how and many users suggested booze of course. Alcohol, klonopin and ambien... My trifecta.
Enough babbling so I wanted to join Team August and didn't know how or really what to say. I hope I didn't bore you. As we all know it is a struggle. Just to function as husband, father, friend, provider was a huge task for me before. Now throw in sobriety... It's like fighting f ing King Kong every day.
My Dr gave me two pieces of advice;
A. Your wife and daughter will not be equipped to provide the support you need nor is it fair to burden them. Thank you SR brothers and sisters!!!
B. That not IF but WHEN you relapse.
Anyway I am proud of myself for posting. Looking forward to our Team's journey together (ups/downs, good/bad, triumphs/defeats).
"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
--Christopher Robin
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Reading, England
Posts: 34
Hi all,
DAY 20 here
Not really had too much AV in my head recently, just trying to relax in the knowledge that I don't drink. It's helped that I've been mostly working during my recent sobriety. I'm a shift worker (Days/Nights, 4 on/4 off, 6 on/6off type pattern) and I have been covering for people on holidays so have had little time off. September will be a challenge when I won't be working for periods of 4 or 6 days and the boredom kicks in
.
As I was going to bed last night I was thinking of how am I going to cope with a sober Christmas and Birthday. Just need to not pick up that first one.
Keep strong everyone
DAY 20 here
Not really had too much AV in my head recently, just trying to relax in the knowledge that I don't drink. It's helped that I've been mostly working during my recent sobriety. I'm a shift worker (Days/Nights, 4 on/4 off, 6 on/6off type pattern) and I have been covering for people on holidays so have had little time off. September will be a challenge when I won't be working for periods of 4 or 6 days and the boredom kicks in
.
As I was going to bed last night I was thinking of how am I going to cope with a sober Christmas and Birthday. Just need to not pick up that first one.
Keep strong everyone
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Huge welcome to newcomers here this class is great, and has helped me through a very tough holiday weekend unscathed and sober.
Gloomy day here but so glad I didn't drink last night, weather not fit for work I had planned for today so il have to call and re-arrange, got other financial stuff that need sorting which Ive been burying my head in the sand about, braved opening my e-mails earlier and a few urgents need calling up today and I hate dealing with that sort of stuff, but know it needs to be done.
Sobriety has been on a knife edge this weekend so I really don't need any triggers but the longer I put stuff off the more I worry about them and Id end up drinking then anyway so can't win!!!
Sponsor text me last night to say he'll call me today which is a relief and Im also seeing an alcohol councillor at 3pm, have my two girls (3+6) tomorrow until the weekend so thatll keep me busy!
Was working and more or less living on my dads farm until the spring of this year, helping him out etc, him and my mum divorced about 8years ago and a long story short he met someone and has moved her in and so I wasn't invited there as much, its hard for my girls as they love that place and the animals etc, and they haven't been up since easter, we spent last Christmas up there and so all of their presents and toys are still there.
The upsetting thing for me is when I went up there last about a month ago my kids toys were scattered everywhere and some broken, when I asked my dad who had played with them he told me it was the new womans grandchildren. I didn't react but it was hard to take, I want the kids to be part of the farm so I didn't want to take all the toys away. I called him last night and have arranged for my girls and me to go up there this Friday so that's something achieved!
Ive gone off on a tangent- sorry! Anyway hope everyone has a great sober Tuesday. Keep up the good work.
Gloomy day here but so glad I didn't drink last night, weather not fit for work I had planned for today so il have to call and re-arrange, got other financial stuff that need sorting which Ive been burying my head in the sand about, braved opening my e-mails earlier and a few urgents need calling up today and I hate dealing with that sort of stuff, but know it needs to be done.
Sobriety has been on a knife edge this weekend so I really don't need any triggers but the longer I put stuff off the more I worry about them and Id end up drinking then anyway so can't win!!!
Sponsor text me last night to say he'll call me today which is a relief and Im also seeing an alcohol councillor at 3pm, have my two girls (3+6) tomorrow until the weekend so thatll keep me busy!
Was working and more or less living on my dads farm until the spring of this year, helping him out etc, him and my mum divorced about 8years ago and a long story short he met someone and has moved her in and so I wasn't invited there as much, its hard for my girls as they love that place and the animals etc, and they haven't been up since easter, we spent last Christmas up there and so all of their presents and toys are still there.
The upsetting thing for me is when I went up there last about a month ago my kids toys were scattered everywhere and some broken, when I asked my dad who had played with them he told me it was the new womans grandchildren. I didn't react but it was hard to take, I want the kids to be part of the farm so I didn't want to take all the toys away. I called him last night and have arranged for my girls and me to go up there this Friday so that's something achieved!
Ive gone off on a tangent- sorry! Anyway hope everyone has a great sober Tuesday. Keep up the good work.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
I found it ;-)
Welcome Ginger, Roy and any others
Hobbers: I like the sound of graduating. I joined class August fairly late but I am hoping I can pass September class with an A+. God knows I have tried in the past to do so. I guess my heart didn’t believe I could. I feel more determined than ever
Grateful: That’s a lovely list.So worth being sober for!
Ist step: A MASSIVE clap on the back to you. My ex was a major trigger for me to drink. He ended our relation last November and we have had an on off relationship right up to early August this year. It was an awful emotional rollercoaster. He has asked me back four times and then dumped me a few weeks later. It drove me mental and I would have heavy binges every time I was dumped. The last time he asked me back was early June. He dumped me again early July. I drank every day for 6 weeks. My behaviour frightened me. I joined SR and stopped drinking at the same.
No man is going to mess up my sobriety ever again! I won’t allow it. I place myself first now and I know that happiness comes from within. I thank God that I am where I am.
Cutengay: Agree with you 100%. Drinking does not help a difficult situation. It gets you nowhere. It’s taken me years to realise that but now I see the light!
Forabetterlife: I am the opposite. When I drink I become very emotional. I lose control over my emotions and this is when I cannot cope with life. I use to send nasty text messages to my ex when I drank. I blamed him for my drinking, I blamed him for everything. But now that I have been sober for six days, I seem to have more inner peace. I am more accepting and I feel a lot more positive. And like you, I hated my hangovers. I was so depressed
Captainwhip: Well done! I hope I stay as long sober as you.
Your progress is such an inspiration to me.. I also worry about dealing with life but I do know that drinking on it will not give me the answers..just a headache, lack of clarity and self-loathing. I don’t wish to give myself more pain than necessary. Well done to you
Myn: Wow! Six months is faaaaannnnntastic!! I hm hoping to get back into my running too. I love exercising but never had the energy when I drank
Applekat: Fantastic too! I really hope I can have months of sobriety behind me too
Welcome Ginger, Roy and any others
Hobbers: I like the sound of graduating. I joined class August fairly late but I am hoping I can pass September class with an A+. God knows I have tried in the past to do so. I guess my heart didn’t believe I could. I feel more determined than ever
Grateful: That’s a lovely list.So worth being sober for!
Ist step: A MASSIVE clap on the back to you. My ex was a major trigger for me to drink. He ended our relation last November and we have had an on off relationship right up to early August this year. It was an awful emotional rollercoaster. He has asked me back four times and then dumped me a few weeks later. It drove me mental and I would have heavy binges every time I was dumped. The last time he asked me back was early June. He dumped me again early July. I drank every day for 6 weeks. My behaviour frightened me. I joined SR and stopped drinking at the same.
No man is going to mess up my sobriety ever again! I won’t allow it. I place myself first now and I know that happiness comes from within. I thank God that I am where I am.
Cutengay: Agree with you 100%. Drinking does not help a difficult situation. It gets you nowhere. It’s taken me years to realise that but now I see the light!
Forabetterlife: I am the opposite. When I drink I become very emotional. I lose control over my emotions and this is when I cannot cope with life. I use to send nasty text messages to my ex when I drank. I blamed him for my drinking, I blamed him for everything. But now that I have been sober for six days, I seem to have more inner peace. I am more accepting and I feel a lot more positive. And like you, I hated my hangovers. I was so depressed
Captainwhip: Well done! I hope I stay as long sober as you.
Your progress is such an inspiration to me.. I also worry about dealing with life but I do know that drinking on it will not give me the answers..just a headache, lack of clarity and self-loathing. I don’t wish to give myself more pain than necessary. Well done to you
Myn: Wow! Six months is faaaaannnnntastic!! I hm hoping to get back into my running too. I love exercising but never had the energy when I drank
Applekat: Fantastic too! I really hope I can have months of sobriety behind me too
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Yes 1step I wouldn't have thought the thread would move until Monday.
Welcome Roy and sober808! We all relate to at least some if not all of what you're going through, feeling, and thinking. Post away!!
Morning of day 8. That means I've finally (but once again) made it a full week officially. Hanging on.
Welcome Roy and sober808! We all relate to at least some if not all of what you're going through, feeling, and thinking. Post away!!
Morning of day 8. That means I've finally (but once again) made it a full week officially. Hanging on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Knb you can post with September class when that begins, too, but I think many SR members stick with the group they got sober with and move along with them. Stick with August 2014? We want ya! Hopefully this time next year we will all be sharing our excitement over long-term sobriety!
But for now, 24 hours at a time right!
It's a hot day here and I think I'll take the little ones to a beach. So NICE to not have a swirling head and nauseous stomach and think about dry heaving before we go. Still always pretending everything is seemingly okay on the surface....
But for now, 24 hours at a time right!
It's a hot day here and I think I'll take the little ones to a beach. So NICE to not have a swirling head and nauseous stomach and think about dry heaving before we go. Still always pretending everything is seemingly okay on the surface....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 974
Morning everyone. Welcome to all the newcomers. I'm just checking in before I get the kids out the door for school.
I just want you all to know that reading everyone's posts is so inspiring and it really helps me get through the day.
My husband is out of town this week so I'll be on here a bunch. Be back later. Have a great morning or evening as it may be.
I just want you all to know that reading everyone's posts is so inspiring and it really helps me get through the day.
My husband is out of town this week so I'll be on here a bunch. Be back later. Have a great morning or evening as it may be.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
Good morning! Looks like another great day to be sober! Inspiring posts, guys!
I woke up thinking about the serenity prayer. How many times have I let myself do the wrong thing, and instead of changing what I can, using it as an excuse to drink? What does guilt look like if you don't acknowledge it? What could drinking possibly do to remedy a situation? How much can it hurt?
Another deep thought: why is my avatar so huge? Will have to work on that after work. I can't stand looking at myself!
Today I plan on refocusing on the awesome benefits of sobriety. I've found that anniversaries and counting days really trigger me. I think it's because I used rational recovery the first time around, and I tell myself "never take another sip" everyday, as many times as it takes. Any mention of finite time and my AV sees a little hole in the cage. Many times I've had to tell myself that I only have to stay sober right NOW to get through a rough patch, but the time is always now.
Things I am grateful for today:
Waking up on a cool summer morning with no hangover
Having a buffer of 20 minutes between my mother and I
A job
A patient husband
3 kind and loving children
Coffee
It's not winter yet
A belt-none of my pants fit because I'very lost so much weight from not drinking!
I woke up thinking about the serenity prayer. How many times have I let myself do the wrong thing, and instead of changing what I can, using it as an excuse to drink? What does guilt look like if you don't acknowledge it? What could drinking possibly do to remedy a situation? How much can it hurt?
Another deep thought: why is my avatar so huge? Will have to work on that after work. I can't stand looking at myself!
Today I plan on refocusing on the awesome benefits of sobriety. I've found that anniversaries and counting days really trigger me. I think it's because I used rational recovery the first time around, and I tell myself "never take another sip" everyday, as many times as it takes. Any mention of finite time and my AV sees a little hole in the cage. Many times I've had to tell myself that I only have to stay sober right NOW to get through a rough patch, but the time is always now.
Things I am grateful for today:
Waking up on a cool summer morning with no hangover
Having a buffer of 20 minutes between my mother and I
A job
A patient husband
3 kind and loving children
Coffee
It's not winter yet
A belt-none of my pants fit because I'very lost so much weight from not drinking!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Thanks Knb! Can totally relate with your post concerning your ex, alcohol has eroded my self esteem so much, the early days after coming off it is when Im at my worst- riddled with guilt, self loathing and anxiety, its at these times that my ex can manipulate me. When I got 9weeks under my belt before these last two relapses I found I was sooo much more confident and by the end I wanted to be single and felt so much less needy and insecure than I do when Ive just come off it and I need to keep this in mind- everyday sober my confidence, emotional maturity, inner peace and love for myself grows some days just a fraction and some days more but every day we're growing as long as we don't stunt our growth by poisoning our souls with alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 299
Morning classmates! I guess Anna thought our grades were good enough to move us up one level to make room for the new class starting on Monday!
I'm doing good, taking it one day at a time....some days it's easy, other days, not as easy...but with AA, SR, and Team August, I'm even more determined to beat the demon for good this time!
For a bit of inspiration for all of us, my Uncle, who is like a second dad to me, is also an alcoholism survivor. He texted me last night to let me know that his AA home group will be celebrating his 50th year of sobriety on Oct 16th! So, you know where I'll be that night! When I first put down the bottle, he was one of the first people I contacted for help and support, I told him I would never see my 50th year sober birthday, but I would die trying! I still believe that....
To all my teammates old and new, have a great day and always remember where you came from, just don't let it get in the way of where you're headed....
I'm doing good, taking it one day at a time....some days it's easy, other days, not as easy...but with AA, SR, and Team August, I'm even more determined to beat the demon for good this time!
For a bit of inspiration for all of us, my Uncle, who is like a second dad to me, is also an alcoholism survivor. He texted me last night to let me know that his AA home group will be celebrating his 50th year of sobriety on Oct 16th! So, you know where I'll be that night! When I first put down the bottle, he was one of the first people I contacted for help and support, I told him I would never see my 50th year sober birthday, but I would die trying! I still believe that....
To all my teammates old and new, have a great day and always remember where you came from, just don't let it get in the way of where you're headed....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Applekat 
Knb you can post with September class when that begins, too, but I think many SR members stick with the group they got sober with and move along with them. Stick with August 2014? We want ya! Hopefully this time next year we will all be sharing our excitement over long-term sobriety!
But for now, 24 hours at a time right!
It's a hot day here and I think I'll take the little ones to a beach. So NICE to not have a swirling head and nauseous stomach and think about dry heaving before we go. Still always pretending everything is seemingly okay on the surface....
But for now, 24 hours at a time right!
It's a hot day here and I think I'll take the little ones to a beach. So NICE to not have a swirling head and nauseous stomach and think about dry heaving before we go. Still always pretending everything is seemingly okay on the surface....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Thanks Knb! Can totally relate with your post concerning your ex, alcohol has eroded my self esteem so much, the early days after coming off it is when Im at my worst- riddled with guilt, self loathing and anxiety, its at these times that my ex can manipulate me. When I got 9weeks under my belt before these last two relapses I found I was sooo much more confident and by the end I wanted to be single and felt so much less needy and insecure than I do when Ive just come off it and I need to keep this in mind- everyday sober my confidence, emotional maturity, inner peace and love for myself grows some days just a fraction and some days more but every day we're growing as long as we don't stunt our growth by poisoning our souls with alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Choobie
Good morning! Looks like another great day to be sober! Inspiring posts, guys!
I woke up thinking about the serenity prayer. How many times have I let myself do the wrong thing, and instead of changing what I can, using it as an excuse to drink? What does guilt look like if you don't acknowledge it? What could drinking possibly do to remedy a situation? How much can it hurt?
Another deep thought: why is my avatar so huge? Will have to work on that after work. I can't stand looking at myself!
Today I plan on refocusing on the awesome benefits of sobriety. I've found that anniversaries and counting days really trigger me. I think it's because I used rational recovery the first time around, and I tell myself "never take another sip" everyday, as many times as it takes. Any mention of finite time and my AV sees a little hole in the cage. Many times I've had to tell myself that I only have to stay sober right NOW to get through a rough patch, but the time is always now.
Things I am grateful for today:
Waking up on a cool summer morning with no hangover
Having a buffer of 20 minutes between my mother and I
A job
A patient husband
3 kind and loving children
Coffee
It's not winter yet
A belt-none of my pants fit because I'very lost so much weight from not drinking!
I woke up thinking about the serenity prayer. How many times have I let myself do the wrong thing, and instead of changing what I can, using it as an excuse to drink? What does guilt look like if you don't acknowledge it? What could drinking possibly do to remedy a situation? How much can it hurt?
Another deep thought: why is my avatar so huge? Will have to work on that after work. I can't stand looking at myself!
Today I plan on refocusing on the awesome benefits of sobriety. I've found that anniversaries and counting days really trigger me. I think it's because I used rational recovery the first time around, and I tell myself "never take another sip" everyday, as many times as it takes. Any mention of finite time and my AV sees a little hole in the cage. Many times I've had to tell myself that I only have to stay sober right NOW to get through a rough patch, but the time is always now.
Things I am grateful for today:
Waking up on a cool summer morning with no hangover
Having a buffer of 20 minutes between my mother and I
A job
A patient husband
3 kind and loving children
Coffee
It's not winter yet
A belt-none of my pants fit because I'very lost so much weight from not drinking!
I do like that you have lost weight since not drinking. I have put on six pounds and I want to get rid of it. I feel less bloated already but I know it will take a while for the surplus to come off. How long did it take you to lose your weight? None of my trousers fit me right now
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