tootsl1

Sparky, take it from an expert, a 50 year old is no better than a 12 year old. After 12 years they don't improve, but the angels get a bigger share ( evaporation ) so it becomes more expensive the longer it is in the barrel as there is less to sell. That is all. No big secret. I do miss enjoying a Balvennie with my hubby, it was one of the few we both shared a taste for, but hey, I get to share my pride in my sobriety with him instead.

AFree, that was too close a call honey, possibly AV using the opportunity of the lost wifi connector to encourage you to drink. What would it have cost to use the hotel wifi? Much more than the bottle of wine? Be proud of yourself for not drinking, but come up with a plan for when something like that happens again. Just imagine how crap you would have felt coming back here today saying "day one again" rather than reading all the heartfelt

Congratulations AFree on 3 months!! YAY!!!

Gilmer, don't look at the mountain, look at the next few steps. FYI my money would always be on you. Poor bull!

MW it takes time for us to earn our partners trust and respect in sobriety after all the lying and hiding and cheating we do in drunkeness just to get a sip. She may also feel anger and resentment at different times, look at you getting all the love and support here, she's the one that had to de all with your alcoholism all those years. She may also need love and support. We do have a friends and family forum here, or al-anon may help her through the minefield you are both navigating.

BeFree your grandma is proud of you.

Carlos, perhaps we need a Carlos/English. English/Carlos dictionary!! Lol

North, your input here is always thoughtful and considered, and with all the new Undies we have to fit into our bulging drawers, it is getting impossible to comment to everyone. ( of course it would help if us saggy grey oldies actually left to make room, but I'm afraid as in real life, the undies that have been around the longest are a till there for a reason!

Drake, I guess your therapist gives you 'homework' so it's not so bad not being able to go weekly, as long as you put the effort in between times to work on his suggestions.

LS, good to see you sticking close and posting regularly, never be afraid to say what is on your mind or in your heart, I doubt anything any of us say here hasn't been said before.

( Trachy, please do not see the aforementioned comment as a challenge!!)

I am still a little shaky but way better thank goodness, this one was a doozy. I'm just glad it happened this week and not next when our daughter and grandson arrive for a 10 day takeover.

Hugs and love to all Undies and Overries, none of whom are unmentionable. Have a wonderful sober weekend

tootsl1

GF, meant to say, well done on not going postal after an hour long discussion of haircuts, you will be fine today, keep you eye on the prize. Xx

Saskia

Toots, glad to hear you are doing better :-)

LonelyShadow

AF66 I got nervous for you just reading the post!! That was a close call, took an incredible amount of strength to do pour that away, you'll be even stronger for it next time! Congratulations on 3 months!! That's massive, I read that the 90 day mark is an important physiological step as well as psychological.

Glee sorry to hear it's been difficult for you, hang in there and get through it I know you have the strength and grace to get through it sober.

And thanks toots!!

Today I have had a few pieces of unexpectedly good news so I'm relaxing with a green tea and trying to enjoy it, everything is going well except I have this looming 'chat' I need to have with my father that is going to be stressful, but it has to be done just to get some things off of my mind, bit like a psychological spring clean.

Hope all are well and strong out there, you're fighting the good fight
Peace

Saskia

Good luck with the "chat", LS!

IWLSAST

WooHoo, AF. Congrats on a quarter Year!

Good luch with your Dad, LS.

Drake, I had my head examined this week too. Like you, it makes me feel good and I always leave with things to ponder. Haha, she even gave me an assignment for our next get together.

Made a pie for lunch and it is dyno!
(translated) Toots, = I made homemade pizza for lunch and it tastes delicious.
So glad you are feeling better in time for the visit! Plans?

Hey BF, how goes the new promo? Are you crackin the whip?

Glee, just like live strong, I'm sure you will remain Struggle Strong! Nothing too "HAIRY" for you to handle.

Just throwing a shout out to Tanja, DP, SJ, Babs and MB. Thinking about you!

Golf was rained out so I am just home needing a new plan. Hope to bum a ride to a mtg if I can this evening. Just grateful that whatever it is...it won't include booze!! Join me in that aspect, okay?

michaels_w

Okay, Undies,

I am afraid to say what's on my mind, and heart, sometimes. It's my own fear, ego, or any number of reasons. Also, I truly do not want to offend. That's the pacifist in me. I "people-please" a lot. The right intentions are there, but I know that it's not healthy.

Subjects, like religion or spirituality, come up, and I shy away. Firstly, I don't want to step on toes. Second, I worry about bringing up something that doesn't "fit" in. I guess, I'm afraid of not fitting in. (Story of my life).

For example, there were several posts here, yesterday, that touched on faith. My heart has ached to say how I feel about it. I absolutely respect others' feelings, so I shy away. If I were not to feel so shy about it, I might have said this yesterday.

Faith, for me, has come and gone many times in my life. For the most part, though, it's come. I was a strange kid when it came to this stuff. I mean, what kid lights candles and prays and chants? That was me. It still is. I'm still that strange kid.

I've always been absolutely drawn to anything like that. I once got stranded at a museum because of it. I was on a school field trip and I got so caught up in the religious art, that I missed the bus back to school. I always had my head in the clouds about those things.

I love all faiths and thought. It's just the strange way I grew up. When it comes to the question of choice, I suppose I chose it. Then again, it doesn't matter to me. It just is. We are, who we are.

That's what I was feeling yesterday. It may sound funny, but I feel better now. You guys are truly the best. I kind of get more, now, why this works. I appreciate it. Thank you.

peace.

Saskia

MW, the only times I ever feel my toes have been stepped on is when someone says they have the only true answer AND they push me to believe the same thing. I feel that I am spiritual but don't discuss it very often. I'm not afraid to but don't want anyone to feel I am pushing them. Your post is very sensitive to that issue and I appreciate that. It definitely does not bother me at all to listen to what others believe.

gleefan

Hi again undies,

Well I'm back. I felt your good intentions. Or maybe my higher power's? I had a difficult morning, mainly due to the space between my ears, and the load felt progressively lighter as the day wore on.

My situation is still the same, in the same place with the same people, doing the same things, but my perception of it turned around. I'm not sure what or who or how, but I believe that it is more than just me at work here, and I suppose that's what my faith is at the moment.

Michaels_w - I'm glad you felt safe to share.

Sass - You too.

LonelyShadow

Even though I hold no religious faith at the moment, I hold on to my faith in people.

I will always respect anyone's faith as long as they are prepared to do the same.

It's always a hotly debated topic, but i'm certain that absolutely every individual using this site has nothing but the best intentions.

Elseware

Michael, that was a lovely and sensitive post. I love to hear about others peoples feelings, beliefs and experiences. You would never step on my toes or upset me by speaking from your heart. Only thing that ever upsets me is unkindness and I have very, very rarely found that on SR. People here are very respectful. Irreverent sometimes, but that's ok by me. I love to laugh.

AF! Many congratulations on 90 days! You crossed a big bridge when you dumped the wine and greeted the sun on your 3 month anniversary. Way to go.

Glee, haircuts for an hour?! I'm surprised you didn't turn into a turnip! How utterly boring and how utterly kind you were to listen to him drone. He might have thought he was being terribly witty. Many kudos for not drinking. Boredom can be a difficult thing to stay sober through. It's one of my problems at times, too. I can get very introverted and morose when everyone around me is drinking or using drugs. I start feeling sorry for myself. All I want to do is go poke my nose in a book and get away from everyone.

Gilmer, I'm sorry you're having to fight bulls today and I hope you are successful. You fighting bulls brings quite a picture to mind. You go for it!

Toots, glad that headache is getting the heck out of town. I used to get those things. Unbearable at times. I hope they don't come around too often.

I had a sad time today. I had to put my sweet, old cat down. She was 15 and she just couldn't go on anymore. Poor little thing. She went very peacefully in my arms.

gleefan

Aww, (((else))), sorry for your loss today.

LonelyShadow

Sorry to hear that Elsewhere

Alysheba

(((Elsewhere))), so sorry.

michaels_w

I'm sorry, Else. You handled that very sweetly and bravely.

SparkyMcSparky

Sorry to hear that EW, I love my kitties. I'm a crazy cat guy. Still occasionally cry about one that disappeared a few Easter's ago.

Michaels, Saskia, LS, what I find here is that we all share one thing in common: to get sober and stay that way. And we all have our own paths to get to this same destination.

And even though I seem to be a bit on the secular side lately, it is important for us to discuss these things respectfully. Why? Because one day, an atheistic addict is going to come into one of these threads, and the message of salvation will trigger something in their heart that makes them sober. Of someone who's faith has been challenged will come in here, and see that they can get sober without God.

From what I've seen of our undies thread, we are all sharing our journey with each other. Sometimes this journey involves faith, sometimes it does not. But the sharing and learning from each other makes us better people, and provides us the support to stay sober.

So please, when you feel a need to share, please share. What works for you may help someone else on this thread, or someone who just drops by.

And all things considered, discussing different viewpoints on spirituality and how we keep sober is nothing like the stepping on toes we all did while in the throes of alcohol.

Smacking women I'm not married to on the bottom = stepping on toes
Driving drunk = stepping on toes
Thinking the bedroom is the washroom = stepping on toes
Lying to my wife and my family = stepping on toes

Respectfully discussing spirituality and how I am staying sober with or without it = not stepping on toes

As a society we've lost the ability to have meaningful, intelligent discourse on many issues, just because people become over-sensitive to potentially offending someone. However, if we discuss things from a place of sharing and respect, why would anyone be offended?

I certainly know I wouldn't be.

Saskia

(((Else))), so sorry about your sweet kitty! I almost always have at least one and they are truly family.

Sparky, so very well said! Almost all of the time people I've met here on SR have been respectful of others' views. We can have humor and sadness and the whole range of emotions and we all want the same thing and are on similar paths even though each of us is unique.

tootsl1

Sparky, well put. I feel society has a lot to answer for sometimes when we daren't speak out for fear of causing offence. The fact is if no one ever spoke about their faith, we would never get the opportunity to understand another's point of view or way of living.

I come from a strongly though varied religious background, yet I left my fundamental beliefs behind in my teen years. I do have a sense of comfort in hard times, a belief that after hardship things will get better. I find joy in the Beauty of life around me. I try to 'do unto others as I would be done by', as philosophies go I happen to think it's a pretty good one. I would never denigrate anyone else's beliefs religious or secular, and relish the opportunities when the come my way to learn what carries others through the hard times.

MW I understand your fear of offence, but certainly your lovely post there caused nothing but a gentle smile in response from me, so take a chance, we never run anyone out of town for speaking up in the undies, but through a genuine sense of respect, we try hard not to insult or offend. On the odd occasions we have inadvertently offended anyone, both the original poster and the one who took offence usually end up apologising. One for being perhaps insensitive, the other usually, for being over sensitive! We are family here, and occasionally families say or do things other members don't totally agree with. That's ok. Life doesn't stop because of it.

Elsie, hugs my dear friend, I know how that hurts, but it sounds like she had a good life and a gentle end, oh we could all say that. (((Hugs)))

AlcoholFree66

Thanks for all the congrats - just need to NOT put myself in such a close situation again.

Gleefan - wow last night must have been difficult for you. But great tactic - it is good to listen to how boring/ dull etc drunk people sound to remember what we could go back too. No thanks.

Yesterday morning I looked in the mirror at my face before leaving for work and I thought thank God I didn't drink last night or my eyes would be bloodshot and I would be looking at my face seeing every gulp of wine.

Lovely clear but cold Saturday morning here. Looking forward to a day not working.

courage2

Congratulations AFree!! Sorry I missed the day itself due to time zone differences but every sober day is one for celebration!