LittleSparrow

Trudging, what in the world happened?? Whatever is going on, I hope you're taking care of yourself. Sending you good thoughts so that things work out positively in whatever way they are meant to.

JL2014

Hey Trudging- I'm really sorry hear about stuff going on that hurts you! You're like family to me, and I while I can't speak for everyone here, I carry you with me every day, good and bad. Praying for you, and hoping you get some peace. Hugs !!!!

trudgingagain

Thanks, you guys....honestly, I am not really sure what happened...truly started over new carpet installation and I do believe that I challenged his "male, contractor" ego when I said I wanted it installed IMMEDIATELY (before paint...ONLY 2 pictures on walls painted BRAND NEW 3 years ago). The tenant has/had cats....the place reeks.....We were planning on staying there during repair, but I WILL NOT SLEEP in a room full of cat pee. The ONLY room that is carpeted is the master bedroom, so I wanted to do that FIRST. THEN....it went to GOD only knows what....to the point where I had to leave my OWN SISTER'S HOUSE and stay in a hotel....they became drinking buddies.....he betrayed my trust...and broke my heart. When I raised the question of why was I leaving instead of him (being that it IS MY SISTER'S HOUSE), he decided to go visit his parents. (Please keep in mind that we had ALWAYS intended to do so, and that I THOROUGHLY supported more than one visit, since his mom is not really well), BUT....the timing SUCKED. My sis was leaving town for FIVE DAYS. He left for THREE of them. Never called....NOTHING...until he needed to be met at the rental car company to be picked up. THEN.... I thought "OK...it's been a tough week or so, we can rewind and start again...yada yada". Not a chance. He returned, saying that we were "different people" and that he didn't think he loved me anymore. OK...SORRY, BUT DONE....hurt, angry, destroyed, crumbled....after 18 years of (what I thought) was bliss.....NADA....anyway, that is the long and short of it.....details, if any, to follow....Oh, BTW, yes, therapy was talked about....I have an appt. HE hasn't even called to find out how it works with the insurance now.....Hopefully seeing a lawyer this week for a "post marital agreement". One foot in front of the other......

Dee74

Just know you have support here Trudging.

D

DoubleDragons

Oh, Trudging, I am so sorry! I have been thinking about you. Just the other day, I went to your profile to check and see when was the last time that you checked in. Jeesh, I really thought the tide had turned for you. You really are under a big, black cloud, but remember the clouds always, always pass, even the big, dark, scary ones. You certainly don't want to be making any major decisions (lawyers, therapists, money, etc.)under the influence. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ good juju~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DoubleDragons

My weekend was one big soccer tournament. The good thing is that we won the tournament and my son who was crushed by not making the Academy last year, was the reason why we won, as he facilitated (created the opportunity) both goals that won the final game. It was a huge boost to his confidence and worth waking up at the crack of dawn every morning of the holiday weekend.

My parents came to watch his games. The first day that they came, my mom had a black eye and a cut by her eye and was shaking like a leaf when she handed me a magazine. My father was half shaven. She claimed she tripped over some pillows in her bedroom in the dark and hit her nightstand. It could have knocked her eye out. She told me that she has been tripping a lot lately, acting like it is some great mystery. Alcoholism sucks.

LittleSparrow

Trudging, what an intense time. You've gotten through so much already, so you know how to keep going. Let us know what's going on, especially if you need to vent. Still sending you good thoughts and hugs.

DD, you must be a proud mama right now. How heartbreaking about your parents, though. It sounds like they're getting worse. It's eye-opening for us to see what will happen if we don't guard our sobriety. I don't know if good juju will be enough to help them, but I'm sending it to them anyway and to you.

WhoDey

I'm so sorry Trudging. It seems like everything came down so suddenly. Like JL mentioned ... we're family here ... so feel free to post/share. Will be thinking of you today ...

I'm so glad that you checked in. I was getting worried about how you were doing. Likewise, I worry about some of our other members who have fallen silent. I hope they are doing well, but fear they are struggling.

With the holiday weekend in the rearview mirror, it's time to move forward into the work week ... yipee. I'm feeliing off physically today ... which I hope is attibutable to seasonal allergies and nothing more.

Fact of the Day:That's a lot of whittling!

Carry on Tobers.

WhoDey

DD ... Thank you for this post. So true. In the past we chose to drink to numb ourselves from some fear or pain. Of course, it was impossible to address those deep issues while drinking. It is only after addressing our addiction, that we can make progress in other areas of our lives. Becoming sober didn't take those issues away, but it put our feet on solid ground so that we could begin to do the work that needed to be done.

It the beginning of my sobriety, it was scary to face up to challenges sober. It was so tempting to run and hide behind the bottle. As time moves on, like you, I'm increasingly comfortable with who I am ... and, also, with who I am not.

I'm trying to not look too far ahead, but I'm hopeful that I will continue to make progress. There were so many "things" that I could not see while drinking.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

JL2014

I agree totally with you whodey!

WhoDey

Good morning, Tobers. I hope your collective days are going well.

Nothing major for me today ... work, shuttling kids between practice/home, grocery shopping, cooking dinner ... the same old same old.

Today's Fact of the Day:I thought that was quite interesting. I learned something today!

Carry on.

Cynderino

JL - beautiful family you have there! That's a lot of boys LOL!

Trudging - hugs girlfriend. We are here for you! Stay sober. Nothing gets better when you add alcohol. I know that my sobriety caused a large part of the problem in my marriage. I took away his drinking buddy and one of the few things we had in common. He likes me much better now but in the beginning he was very threatened. Mostly because I was bettering myself. My husband has been moved out for a week now. He is signing a lease today. It makes me sad but I know this is the right move for right now.

DD - I love soccer tournament weekends. They are always so busy and fun. My ideal way to spend the weekend. I sit all week at a desk so it is a nice change to be running around between soccer games and other activities. Glad your boy got some self confidence out of it too. Makes it all worthwhile when that happens!

WD - hope you are feeling better! I have allergies and asthma so I am ready for the cold weather. It's been a rough year!

Sparrow - what is going on with you?

Thank you all for being here!

Cynderino

Happy belated birthday! Hope it was epic!

WhoDey

I feel for those of you with marital problems. I went through a divorce 20+ years ago (was it that long ago?!). It was for the best, but it wasn't easy.

I want to thank everyone who has been posting. Our group has shrunk in size and the thought of those who we haven't heard from in a while weighs heavily on my heart. I'd like to think that most/all of them are doing well and have moved beyond this group, but I know that some must be struggling.

Even though we are small in number, I draw strength from all of you. Your posts brighten my day and remind me that I'm not alone.

Cynderino

Ditto ditto ditto! Very well said.

fishoutawatta

All,

Sorry to have been off-grid for a while. Bday was fine; fishing wasn't, but that's okay -- it's always a learning experience. Work has been over-the-top (new students!), but that's okay, too. Can't remember the last time I sat on the couch all evening, between work, back-to-school nights, taking dear son to taekwondo, etc. Sigh.

Trudging, so sorry to hear of the relationship turmoil. We've got your back.

Tobering away,

Fishy

DoubleDragons

Cindy, you are probably one of the most upbeat people whom I have ever "met." Sobriety is awesome! Divorce is cool and for the best! Soccer tournaments rock! I just want to say thanks for that spunk. You really keep me in perspective.

Whodey, I LOVE your trivia. I miss it when we don't get it.

Fishy and JL, I appreciate your manly perspectives on this whole sobriety gig.

LittleSparrow, I consider you my "little sister" in this Sobriety Sorority. You have done an amazing job and shown a lot of maturity, that I know I didn't have at your age.

Trudging, I consider you my "big sister" in this Sobriety Sorority. I love your wisdom and your candor. You WILL get through this, just like you get through everything else, trudging right along with confidence!!

You all have been true "rocks" in my sobriety. Love you, mean it.

WhoDey

Howdy Tobers!

I hope everyone is having a great day.

I'm excited today ... the NFL kicks off tonight and my son has an 8th grade football game this afternoon! Woo hoo!!!

Until then, I'm twiddling my thumbs ...

Today's Fact of the Day:Okay ... that one's not too exciting, so here are two Quotes of the Day:Have a great one, Tobers. Choose today to be well and make the most of this precious time ... and stay away from the quidnuncs.

That's all.

Cynderino

DD - thank you for the very kind words. I usually am very upbeat and I'm glad that comes through even online LOL. Your post made me wonder, how old is everyone? I am 35. You all feel like family to me too. XOXO

Divorce is so not cool today. I have been a hot mess. He is pushing me to make a decision on whether we are dating or not and I just don't want to keep the commitment there at the moment. I don't want to date anyone else either. I just want some time by myself. Why is that so hard for him to understand? It's like that isn't a good enough reason for a break up. Almost like the problems in our marriage don't count. I must want to be with someone else to not want him. Sigh.

WhoDey

My ex and myself did not have kids, so once the divorce was finalized it was adios. It must be difficult at times, when because of children, you have continued interaction with your ex. Makes it harder to turn the page.

I just checked ... 49 days until I hit one year sober. That's 7 weeks amigos. So close, I can taste it!

Age ... 54 on this end.