Class of April 2014 Part 11
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 361
Mrsbee what a cute cat!
MariahGayle, glad to know that I'm not the only one dealing with anxiety. I know it's the alcohol, but it's also why I keep failing so it's like this awful catch-22. But I'm back and I'm going to keep trying to work my way out of it.
DancingDiva, I love the idea of the April Fools of June, haha. I find that I too am drawn to some dark TV. Lots of crime shows and forensic files. I think maybe it's nice in a twisted way to not feel like the darkest, twistiest person around. But My Little Pony might be peppier
Applekat, what a pretty mug!
My day is getting better and better as I feel better (shocking). About to catch up on last night's Game of Thrones!!
MariahGayle, glad to know that I'm not the only one dealing with anxiety. I know it's the alcohol, but it's also why I keep failing so it's like this awful catch-22. But I'm back and I'm going to keep trying to work my way out of it.
DancingDiva, I love the idea of the April Fools of June, haha. I find that I too am drawn to some dark TV. Lots of crime shows and forensic files. I think maybe it's nice in a twisted way to not feel like the darkest, twistiest person around. But My Little Pony might be peppier
Applekat, what a pretty mug!
My day is getting better and better as I feel better (shocking). About to catch up on last night's Game of Thrones!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
Loooooong day traveling. Still almost 3 hrs away from MD. Mom still hasn't passed. Will probably happen tonight. If so we will have to drive almost 8 hrs tomorrow. Today has been crappy. Can't cry because of the kids. Went to the walk in clinic yesterday because I keep hyperventilating. Thought I'd be able to keep my cool . Ended up crying as soon as I checked in. The girl at the counter took me around the corner because She could tell I was worried about my kids seeing me. So they sat in waiting and when I knew they couldn't see me I just lost it. It was so embarrassing but she hugged me and had tears in her eyes. Then a nurse talked to me. I got there right before they closed so I didn't see a dr but they said they were giving me a "courtesy visit", didn't even charge me. told the nurse I was prescribed something temporarily after my bf died several years ago and it helped but I couldn't remember what it was. So she Wrote me a Rx for 6 Xanax. I'm not experienced with taking pills so when I took one I didn't think it was working because I never felt anything. But after a few hours went by I realized I hadn't freaked out since taking so I thought maybe it worked after all. Anyway I think they only gave me six because I didn't see the doctor. I've been holding off taking them even when I get extremely panicked and distraught because I want to save them for when I have to do the really hard things coming up like going to my parents house, funeral arrangements, etc. I'm just wondering if I could get more if I see a doctor? Like a one month supply. Also I'm wondering if Xanax is the right thing I should take because it seems like the ones I took before helped a lot more. I know that I am going to feel pain and I am not trying to numb myself. It's just scary when I feel like I can't breathe and I also have a lot to do that might cause me to panic. Id appreciate any advice on this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 272
Soli, I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I have no idea what advice to give you, except that if you're going to take any medication it probably should be prescribed by someone overseeing your care. Please keep posting here as much as you need, we care so much about you.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Hi Sol
I can't pre-empt what a doctor might say.
A limited supply for a short time is what's usually prescribed in these cases.
Benzos can help, but they can be really 'more-ish' for people like us too...If I was seeing a Dr I feel I would have to be honest about my addictive history.
D
I can't pre-empt what a doctor might say.
A limited supply for a short time is what's usually prescribed in these cases.
Benzos can help, but they can be really 'more-ish' for people like us too...If I was seeing a Dr I feel I would have to be honest about my addictive history.
D
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Winding down in day 7.
ST - maybe try repeating some simple positive affirmations before you start your day tomorrow....something like. I am content & OK with where & who I am today....do the deep breathing that many have suggested & repeat that out loud 5 or 6 or 10 times. I know it may sound silly, but it really is helpful to put your mind in a good frame. I will start my day that way tomorrow & hope you will too.
I don't know why, but I have been thinking of something tonight that I've never shared with anyone. My very first memory in life (probably about 3 years old) was sitting in a car parked outside of a store & my Dad giving me something to drink. I was told years ago, as an adult that my Dad would sometimes give us a drink or 2 or beer on trips so that we would go to sleep. There was 5 of us & don't imagine a trip down the road with 5 kids was a whole lot of fun Strange that alcohol had such an effect on me at that moment that it is my 1st living memory. My Dad was a very high functioning alcoholic...I didn't even know that he drank really until I was a teenager & remember finding him under his desk one night with empty wine jugs around him. Bless his heart...he quit drinking at about the age I am now...51 & went back to school and earned a Masters Degree in Sociology, specializing in chemical dependency...not so he could practice it as a career, but so that he might be able to help his 5 children, all who at one time or another, active alcoholics & or addicts. Part 1 of my history with alcohol. Happy to be sober tonight - Goodnight Fools
ST - maybe try repeating some simple positive affirmations before you start your day tomorrow....something like. I am content & OK with where & who I am today....do the deep breathing that many have suggested & repeat that out loud 5 or 6 or 10 times. I know it may sound silly, but it really is helpful to put your mind in a good frame. I will start my day that way tomorrow & hope you will too.
I don't know why, but I have been thinking of something tonight that I've never shared with anyone. My very first memory in life (probably about 3 years old) was sitting in a car parked outside of a store & my Dad giving me something to drink. I was told years ago, as an adult that my Dad would sometimes give us a drink or 2 or beer on trips so that we would go to sleep. There was 5 of us & don't imagine a trip down the road with 5 kids was a whole lot of fun
Strange that alcohol had such an effect on me at that moment that it is my 1st living memory. My Dad was a very high functioning alcoholic...I didn't even know that he drank really until I was a teenager & remember finding him under his desk one night with empty wine jugs around him. Bless his heart...he quit drinking at about the age I am now...51 & went back to school and earned a Masters Degree in Sociology, specializing in chemical dependency...not so he could practice it as a career, but so that he might be able to help his 5 children, all who at one time or another, active alcoholics & or addicts. Part 1 of my history with alcohol. Happy to be sober tonight - Goodnight Fools
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Solilo....did not see your post till after I posted. My heart aches for you & am thinking of you. Your kids know what is going on...it is OK for them to see you cry & hurt...may help them to do the same...they can cry with you. Keep posting here when you can ((Hugs))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Having trouble sleeping, it's like 2 am here, brain was all over the place, nothing bad happened but just a lot of different small things today....kinda upset feeling
Playing video games any longer will keep me awake...gonna lay down and relax, goodnight all
Playing video games any longer will keep me awake...gonna lay down and relax, goodnight all
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Good morning everyone,
Obosob, thank you for part 3, I'm relieved we didn't end up behind bars! I've smuggled on some vegan bean burgers for the BBQ/cookout, can't wait! I wish you and UP would behave there in the back!
3777, Brene Brown has helped me too, it's so refreshing to hear someone deal with difficult feelings such as shame and guilt.
Rocks, Kat and Chickchick, you will get you're healthy lives back one step at a time, it's onward and upward now.
Overwhelmed, thank you for that lovely idea, it will be a great way to transform anything negative and destructive in to something positive and loving.
MrsB, Roland is adorable. Good luck with your job today. Let us know how it goes won't you?
Mariah, I'm going to start using affirmations, it sounds like a great way to start the day. Thank you for the inspiration.
UP, hope your week is improving for you.
ST, hope today is calmer.
I'm off to work, I have a long to do list, which will definitely not be completed, but at least I'll know what hasn't been done, rather than the nagging feeling that I've forgotten something important. I love lists, especially the ticking off bit.
Have a healthy, sober day everyone,
See you later.
Obosob, thank you for part 3, I'm relieved we didn't end up behind bars! I've smuggled on some vegan bean burgers for the BBQ/cookout, can't wait! I wish you and UP would behave there in the back!
3777, Brene Brown has helped me too, it's so refreshing to hear someone deal with difficult feelings such as shame and guilt.
Rocks, Kat and Chickchick, you will get you're healthy lives back one step at a time, it's onward and upward now.
Overwhelmed, thank you for that lovely idea, it will be a great way to transform anything negative and destructive in to something positive and loving.
MrsB, Roland is adorable. Good luck with your job today. Let us know how it goes won't you?
Mariah, I'm going to start using affirmations, it sounds like a great way to start the day. Thank you for the inspiration.
UP, hope your week is improving for you.
ST, hope today is calmer.
I'm off to work, I have a long to do list, which will definitely not be completed, but at least I'll know what hasn't been done, rather than the nagging feeling that I've forgotten something important. I love lists, especially the ticking off bit.
Have a healthy, sober day everyone,
See you later.
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