Venecia

JD, I am going to hold you close in my thoughts this evening. I agree with earlier comments from our friends: LV is vile, a soul-draining place. I look forward to an update tomorrow as you prepare to board your plane and get out of there.

You've worked so hard and come so far. I have a lot of faith in you to hold on tight to your principles and cal upon the reserves of strength you've been amassing for the last 9-plus months. You're almost done with the place. Hang in there and hang tough. Home is near.

V.

Venecia

Thank you so much, Dee, for sharing this with us.

Got home from Dad's memorial service about an hour ago. Am beat.

I'm honored to be the daughter of a man so loved and respected in the rural town where we're from. Many wonderful, happy moments in the service, including when Dad's 80-year-old best friend played a flawless jazz funeral piece on his trumpet. Before the family entered, the organist played Sousa's "Liberty Bell March." You may know it better as the tune from the beginning of TV's "Monty Python's Flying Circus," one of Dad's favorites even before MP popularized it. I looked back into the entry way and there were my brother's two best friends from high school saluting me, with huge grins on their faces. It was good to enter laughing.

The funeral director estimated at least 400 people came through to pay their respects.

Some valued people were not physically present, but in my heart. I'd not heard of Rabindranath Tagore until Dee shared that passage. I concluded my remarks to the congregation with it. It fit the occasion and created a way for you all to be with me, too. That was a comfort to me.

I googled Tagore and found that he has a poem that is occasionally read at funerals. I opened my remarks with it. It reads:

At every turning of my life
I came across
Good friends,
Friends who stood by me
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell
My friends
I smile and
Bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears
For I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad
Do think of me
For that’s what I’ll like.
When you live in the hearts
Of those you love
Remember then
You never die.

Sheknits

Jd, sending you tons of positive vibes and thoughts. Please stay strong and congratulations for recognizing your dilemma

Sheknits

V, what a beautiful poem.

Elseware

Sounds like it was an extraordinary service. I bet you are tired. Sleep well tonight.

advbike

Sounds like it went well V, so happy for you. The poem.. how fitting.. it brought tears to my eyes.

Sleep well, ya done good.

Dee74

Sounds beautiful V. You had a little piece of all of us here there with you

D

jdooner

Thanks class for you thoughts, prayers and positive vibes. I am in bed now, sober. I had a big dinner tonight where I was the speaker in front of 70 distinguished executives. I chose to open up to the group. I turned my insecurity to a position of strength by genuinely sharing my journey over the past nine months. There were some surprises but many more thank you"s" I feel like I have built my sober muscles but have no intentions of returning anytime soon. I feel like I have been honest and genuine and calling myself out on true motives to stay an extra day is growth. Finally I am grateful for the support here and all of you to help provide me with tools to deal with life on life's terms.

V - I have been thinking of you and your situation. It sounds like an amazing celebration of a well lived life. What a legacy in each of his children.

Good night

Oceanlady

Had been thinking I had Concorde depression with my RR, so stopped my low dose med of twenty years two weeks ago......gradually have felt myself slip back into that sad place!! Realize I really do have depression (not as severe as some of you) but enough to take away enjoying things...back on Prozac ! As a nurse , I remember what we thought of people taking Prozac , i have hide this fact from family and friends! But not you guys!!!
V thinking of you this week, hope you are OK..

Elseware

Oceanlady, being a nurse I know exactly what you mean. Nobody has to know your business. Nurses can be a judgmental bunch, can't they? Hell with 'em! You just take your Prozac if you need it. You should see the the combo of meds I'm on and I don't care a whit in my own mind but I'm not going to broadcast it to the world either. I feel better now. My doc really helped me and I'm really doing ok now. I know you are doing well, too, with not drinking. I hope your mood is lifting. It is wonderful when it does finally. My next job is to achieve a little more lightness and laughter in my life. I've been too serious for too long! Let's practice our smiling today!

JD, I admire you so much! I just don't have the words to describe it.

Dee74

Hey Oceanlady - like Else said, hell with them
I really hope it helps

Glad you're doing ok too JD

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better too Else - awesome!

D

Oceanlady

JD glad you are staying so strong , we need you around here to keep us straight!

jdooner

Back home. Feel much stronger from Las Vegas experience and calling myself out. How is the rest of the class doing?

Dee74

All good here

D

Oceanlady

this full time subbing is killing me, looking forward to summer vac...have drinking friends coming for dinner tomorrow night. Found neat margarita recipe ,non alcohol , but could add for them!

jdooner

OL for me I have to be careful on the mocktails - I find they are bit like diet sodas - mentally they can create the same urges.

I find for dinner parties, we bought a nice container from Williams Sonoma and make some fresh Lemonade to replace the Sangria.

I am glad you will enjoy the summer vacation.

Venecia

Good morning, friends.

I've been trying to catch up with everyone's postings over the last week. One theme that comes through is that challenges persist in our lives -- weddings, Vegas, fake margaritas, dealing with our minds. The other theme that emerges is our increasing ability to handle life's challenges. We've come a long way, haven't we?

JD, before I learned of my father's death, I was going to drop a note comparing workouts and share a book with you that I thought you'd enjoy -- actually, all might like it. It is Michael Pollan's "Food Rules." I have found it valuable -- sort of a framework for better health, with my Mayo diet providing the nitty gritty. It's a super quick read -- 60-some very brief passages that encompass a lot of wisdom.

Orn, one of these days you'll have to tell us more about your master bassoon class. Do you play in a community orchestra or something similar?

Everyone, thanks again for your comforting words over the last week. I have found tremendous solace in every single message and I cannot thank Dee enough for sharing that quote from Tagore. And letting me know about Tagore in general. It has helped me a lot.

My employer offers a week's bereavement leave. At first, I was going to go back to work yesterday but my bosses encouraged me to take the full week and they were right to do so. Still, it will be good to get back into my routine on Monday.

All for now. May we all have a peaceful, healthy and sober weekend.

Your friend,
V.

Ornithology

V. good to see you are doing so well with everything you have been through this past week. You are in my thoughts daily.
I don't play bassoon but enjoy attending master classes as I learn to hear the difference between a good musician and a great musician. It really enhances my enjoyment of music to watch musicians practicing. I played French horn when I was younger. I own several thousand records and really enjoy listening to music. I had a season subscription to the Chicago Symphony Orchestra for ten years.
I really liked Michael Pollan's book In Defense of Food and it has shaped my diet. Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.
Today is the last day of school for my daughter, we'll play on the boat tomorrow and attend a concert in the evening. Sunday I fly to Boston for a few days and return home Thursday evening. My wife and daughter will fly to Colorado the following week to visit family. Both of this events previously would have meant opportunities to drink excessively, but now mean going to bed early with a good book or catching up on podcasts or music listening. Some time boating or motorcycling will round out the week.
I'm looking forward to some new running routes for a few days next week while in Boston.
Wishing everyone a safe, sober, enjoyable weekend.

jdooner

Thanks V - going to buy it on Kindle and give a read this weekend. I don't really follow any strict diet now. I simply eat only fresh food and nothing processed. I don't worry about amount or caloric intake but what I have found by cutting out all bread and wheat for six months and maintaining my glycemic index without processed sugar spikes is my hunger is level through the day. I am always chowing on some fresh fruit (eat 5-6 apples a day and 1-2 bananas) and tons of water.

Tonight I am grilling some steaks, making a blue cheese sauce, fresh corn on the grill with garlic and parmesan and some fresh skillet potatoes in a gruyere sauce.

I drop 2lbs per week consistently and can do pull-ups again, yay!

Orn - the Esplanade in Boston is a great 5-6 mile route. If your on the water you can add 2 miles too. It will take you around the Charles River by the Science Museum down by Boston University and then across the river up by the Boston University boat center and by MIT back around from Cambridge to Boston again. When I lived downtown I used to run this daily.

Ornithology

Thanks for the suggestion JD. I lived in Boston so I know that route. Nothing beats running along the Charles. I also lived up on Salem Sound for 16 years. Boston is a great town. We miss it.