Class of July 2013 Pt 12
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
I've spent a sort of wasted day. Kept working at my lines, then felt super sleepy, and dozed on the couch for an hour an a half. Feel unmotivated and listless.
I realize I need to be out there with people as much as possible and without being able to be around friends regularly, I think I need to go back to work.
I wonder if I should try and get my licence back? I had trouble with my old "horrible boss" though, when I tried to get a reference from him before, when I tried a year and a half ago to get my licence back. He basically said he couldn't give me a good reference and that I probably didn't want him to give me a reference, so I didn't proceed. I remember I went straight to the liquor store after the interview with him, all dressed up and feeling completely awful.
I need 3 stellar references, but it's been 7 years now, and I need also to have a supervisor because I've been out of practice for more than 3 years, and I have to pay them, and I don't know who would take me on.
Now I'm sober and getting better, notwithstanding how I feel at present, I can't continue to be indolent like this.
Just sort of talking out loud to you kind folks, cos I've no-one to talk to!
I realize I need to be out there with people as much as possible and without being able to be around friends regularly, I think I need to go back to work.
I wonder if I should try and get my licence back? I had trouble with my old "horrible boss" though, when I tried to get a reference from him before, when I tried a year and a half ago to get my licence back. He basically said he couldn't give me a good reference and that I probably didn't want him to give me a reference, so I didn't proceed. I remember I went straight to the liquor store after the interview with him, all dressed up and feeling completely awful.
I need 3 stellar references, but it's been 7 years now, and I need also to have a supervisor because I've been out of practice for more than 3 years, and I have to pay them, and I don't know who would take me on.
Now I'm sober and getting better, notwithstanding how I feel at present, I can't continue to be indolent like this.
Just sort of talking out loud to you kind folks, cos I've no-one to talk to!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 115
Hi Everyone. I have just been catching up a bit on what everyone is up too, glad to hear you are all going well. Its really positive on here I think.
Croissant I loved that link you put up on warning signs of relapse, great info. I am not at risk but I will pass the info it has to some friends at my group who slip, thanks. Leshar you are doing fantastic, if dictation is your biggest stress you are doing very well
Resolute how nice to live somewhere where you see deer on your walks, magic. I saw that 89 year old jump out over Normandy also, inspiring. And Ms Scrabble queen, well done!
And everyone else. Even if we slip we are all still heroic and strong and brave.
I have had some pretty positive stuff happening lately. I am liking working with disabled kids a lot, even though its casual and only once a week or fortnight, its a great start, and its very rewarding. I did a laughter yoga club with a friend from my drug and alcohol group last week, will definitely do it again, I totally recommend it to everyone, great fun. My uni stuff is going well, my two units keep my busy enough, and volunteering is good too. When I look back at the bottomless pit of despair I called my life and soul this time last year it is un ffing believable really! My life is a miracle! I still get overwhelmed with anxiety when I go to bed at night, but I can live with it, and I think eventually it will get better. The MOOC on the science of stress and resilience I am doing online through edx is great too, helping me gain extra insight into things. Do I sound like I am bragging, hope not. But I just wanted to share with you all. I am really happy for us all. And even if anyone is slipping the fact that we are participating in this site shows we are changing and growing. Just knowing we are not alone , which this website provides, gave me so much strength when I needed it the most, and it still does now.
Croissant I loved that link you put up on warning signs of relapse, great info. I am not at risk but I will pass the info it has to some friends at my group who slip, thanks. Leshar you are doing fantastic, if dictation is your biggest stress you are doing very well
Resolute how nice to live somewhere where you see deer on your walks, magic. I saw that 89 year old jump out over Normandy also, inspiring. And Ms Scrabble queen, well done! And everyone else. Even if we slip we are all still heroic and strong and brave.
I have had some pretty positive stuff happening lately. I am liking working with disabled kids a lot, even though its casual and only once a week or fortnight, its a great start, and its very rewarding. I did a laughter yoga club with a friend from my drug and alcohol group last week, will definitely do it again, I totally recommend it to everyone, great fun. My uni stuff is going well, my two units keep my busy enough, and volunteering is good too. When I look back at the bottomless pit of despair I called my life and soul this time last year it is un ffing believable really! My life is a miracle! I still get overwhelmed with anxiety when I go to bed at night, but I can live with it, and I think eventually it will get better. The MOOC on the science of stress and resilience I am doing online through edx is great too, helping me gain extra insight into things. Do I sound like I am bragging, hope not. But I just wanted to share with you all. I am really happy for us all. And even if anyone is slipping the fact that we are participating in this site shows we are changing and growing. Just knowing we are not alone , which this website provides, gave me so much strength when I needed it the most, and it still does now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hey, Lisa!
What a wonderful post! You sound brilliant! Very happy for you. I think you are very resilient to be able to cope with the anxiety you describe, very courageous.
Keep us up to date, so nice to hear from you!
Dee, thanks. I can't go back, I need to find some new purpose/endeavour.
What a wonderful post! You sound brilliant! Very happy for you. I think you are very resilient to be able to cope with the anxiety you describe, very courageous.
Keep us up to date, so nice to hear from you!
Dee, thanks. I can't go back, I need to find some new purpose/endeavour.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 196
Thank you everyone for your heartfelt congratulations and well wishes. Especially to Snoozy for putting it out there. It is amazing to reach the big first year milestone. Each of you will soon be celebrating this accomplishment too. I celebrated with my husband and and daughter by going out for sushi. He has been very supportive of me and I am so grateful. Just as I am grateful for all of you in this class. SR is a great website, but here in this thread, as I have said before, we are pretty much the same place in
Our journey and can connect on a personal level rather than a crisis / advice mode. so thank you again for being what I consider my home group. I look forward to another year of sobriety while trying to remain vigilant with my plan which includes a lot of posting and reading here. As Leshar reminded us, the beast is relentless and waits for an opportunity to emerge. Good for you on shutting down that thought. I truly
Know your vibe will lighten soon.
Our journey and can connect on a personal level rather than a crisis / advice mode. so thank you again for being what I consider my home group. I look forward to another year of sobriety while trying to remain vigilant with my plan which includes a lot of posting and reading here. As Leshar reminded us, the beast is relentless and waits for an opportunity to emerge. Good for you on shutting down that thought. I truly
Know your vibe will lighten soon.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Hi Lisa, it was lovely to read your update....you are right how life was a cesspool last year can relate.
Bob, I really hope the depression passes...I think there are lots of things in Life that we have to find new ways to deal with things before they spiral out of control. But I'm sure you already know that.
Leshar....I'm wondering if the underlying thing really is that sense of self / being grounded, that your career brought to you? I think you would have had a career that you were really proud of, and was part of your self-identity - now we are all awakening from our dream state, what does that really mean?
I've asked myself similar questions over the past weeks since leaving work. What do I really want, what brings me joy, what do I have to offer the world etc. it's a pretty important thing to me now.
I think we have to dig deep if we really want to answer those questions. But yes, can relate. Am mapping out my next 5 year plan now.
Bob, I really hope the depression passes...I think there are lots of things in Life that we have to find new ways to deal with things before they spiral out of control. But I'm sure you already know that.
Leshar....I'm wondering if the underlying thing really is that sense of self / being grounded, that your career brought to you? I think you would have had a career that you were really proud of, and was part of your self-identity - now we are all awakening from our dream state, what does that really mean?
I've asked myself similar questions over the past weeks since leaving work. What do I really want, what brings me joy, what do I have to offer the world etc. it's a pretty important thing to me now.
I think we have to dig deep if we really want to answer those questions. But yes, can relate. Am mapping out my next 5 year plan now.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Originally Posted by lisatrying 
I have had some pretty positive stuff happening lately. I am liking working with disabled kids a lot, even though its casual and only once a week or fortnight, its a great start, and its very rewarding. I did a laughter yoga club with a friend from my drug and alcohol group last week, will definitely do it again, I totally recommend it to everyone, great fun. My uni stuff is going well, my two units keep my busy enough, and volunteering is good too. When I look back at the bottomless pit of despair I called my life and soul this time last year it is un ffing believable really! My life is a miracle! I still get overwhelmed with anxiety when I go to bed at night, but I can live with it, and I think eventually it will get better. The MOOC on the science of stress and resilience I am doing online through edx is great too, helping me gain extra insight into things. Do I sound like I am bragging, hope not. But I just wanted to share with you all. I am really happy for us all. And even if anyone is slipping the fact that we are participating in this site shows we are changing and growing. Just knowing we are not alone , which this website provides, gave me so much strength when I needed it the most, and it still does now.
You are in a really good place
Nikki ;-) you are welcome . It's so much more fun to share with friends .
There is also another post from lots of people in the daily newcomers thread xx
Just got home from work , I'll catch up with some posts then be back ;-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Just letting you know guys , that Deeker has been located alive and well .
Phew glad that's behind me , i can relax now ;-)
Crois I've never actually sat down and mulled over those questions .but they are really good ones .
What did you come up with ? Do you know what you want ?
I think for me , 3 days working a week is enough . I'm not doing anymore than that from now on.
I'm just happy to have peace , i don't actually have dreams and goals .
I feel content i guess , so I'm just relishing this i spose .
As long as i continue not to drink and be a good Mum and Wife that'll do for now .
How about you Leshar , queen of stage and maybe screen what are your dreams , going forward ? Do you ever ponder of it .
How about everyone else , it would be really interesting to me , to see how others think .maybe I'm strange not having any ambitions etc ...
Phew glad that's behind me , i can relax now ;-)
Crois I've never actually sat down and mulled over those questions .but they are really good ones .
What did you come up with ? Do you know what you want ?
I think for me , 3 days working a week is enough . I'm not doing anymore than that from now on.
I'm just happy to have peace , i don't actually have dreams and goals .
I feel content i guess , so I'm just relishing this i spose .
As long as i continue not to drink and be a good Mum and Wife that'll do for now .
How about you Leshar , queen of stage and maybe screen
what are your dreams , going forward ? Do you ever ponder of it .How about everyone else , it would be really interesting to me , to see how others think .maybe I'm strange not having any ambitions etc ...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hi all,
Croissant, I admire you for the vision to take on a 5 year plan. That's not an easy thing to do.
You're right, I feel unsteady, no solid ground under my feet wrt a career, a "handle" with which to identify myself. Larry loved his work and would have kept on consulting and I think I would have been happy to just look after him, the home, and we had planned to travel, get away from the Canadian winters.
I think I want to do something with regard to teaching. Just don't know where I might fit in at my age. I've been thinking of seeing a career consultant. I often feel my talent and education of all those years has gone to waste. Perhaps I have some transferable skills?
Snoozy, I don't think I'd say that you have no ambitions! You're hiding your light under a bushel! I envy you your quiet (well, sometimes not so quiet!) contentment and peace. I'm not there yet, but hey, we've all come a long way, baby!!
I think I've realized that one of the reasons I've been dissing the director and the play process is that I'm scared I actually suck. Easier to beat up on others than face the possibility that I'm just not cut out for treading the boards. A wake up call of sorts and I'm glad I realize this. Think I will speak to our director about it, about needing more help and guidance.
I called a friend from the theatre group in the city, also a widow, we have a lot in common. We're going to meet up in the city to see an exhibit at the art gallery, then go and see a movie "Ageing Gigolo", next Friday. I need to plan and have things to look forward to. I'm glad I called her!
Hope everyone is resting easy!
Croissant, I admire you for the vision to take on a 5 year plan. That's not an easy thing to do.
You're right, I feel unsteady, no solid ground under my feet wrt a career, a "handle" with which to identify myself. Larry loved his work and would have kept on consulting and I think I would have been happy to just look after him, the home, and we had planned to travel, get away from the Canadian winters.
I think I want to do something with regard to teaching. Just don't know where I might fit in at my age. I've been thinking of seeing a career consultant. I often feel my talent and education of all those years has gone to waste. Perhaps I have some transferable skills?
Snoozy, I don't think I'd say that you have no ambitions! You're hiding your light under a bushel! I envy you your quiet (well, sometimes not so quiet!) contentment and peace. I'm not there yet, but hey, we've all come a long way, baby!!
I think I've realized that one of the reasons I've been dissing the director and the play process is that I'm scared I actually suck. Easier to beat up on others than face the possibility that I'm just not cut out for treading the boards. A wake up call of sorts and I'm glad I realize this. Think I will speak to our director about it, about needing more help and guidance.
I called a friend from the theatre group in the city, also a widow, we have a lot in common. We're going to meet up in the city to see an exhibit at the art gallery, then go and see a movie "Ageing Gigolo", next Friday. I need to plan and have things to look forward to. I'm glad I called her!
Hope everyone is resting easy!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
I just read a really good article that Hawkeye posted on Cow's thread.
Got a wry chuckle out of this from the article:
Sober stands for, Son of (a) bitch, everything's real!
Now, isn't that just the case! I've gotta work on my sober muscles and deal!
Got a wry chuckle out of this from the article:
Sober stands for, Son of (a) bitch, everything's real!
Now, isn't that just the case! I've gotta work on my sober muscles and deal!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Well, it was quite a day.
I went to church and then watched my little girl get baptized.(Baptist)
In the past I would have been too hung over or too paranoid to go.
Sat outside most of the day and enjoyed the weather. Now I'm watching base ball.
Sox and Tigers are tied at 1.
I hope all my classmates are doing well. You're always in my heart and thoughts.
I went to church and then watched my little girl get baptized.(Baptist)
In the past I would have been too hung over or too paranoid to go.
Sat outside most of the day and enjoyed the weather. Now I'm watching base ball.
Sox and Tigers are tied at 1.
I hope all my classmates are doing well. You're always in my heart and thoughts.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Well, Snoozy, no the plan isn't complete yet. It's split into work / personal and then longer term, retirement. And short term, next 6-12 months, 3 yrs 5yrs.
My last "plan" was pretty loose and mainly was career focused. Needless to say, I've achieved zero in my personal life since hard drinking the past 3 years before getting sober - Nothing. Career achievements are questionable and probably squandered during that time also. But anyways, that's the whole point of looking forward.
I've always tried to have some kind of planned goals, probably since my mid 20s. It's more what you are hoping to achieve for yourself and your life....not just ambitions or career focus at all. Hell, mine has things on it like buy a sewing machine, learn the drums (don't ask), get singing lessons.
I'm sure you have a mini list in your mind Snoozy...even though I'm sure you are content. Just cos I call it a 5 year plan, doesn't mean it's any more important than what it's really meant to be!
Also, financially - the reality is I don't have a partner and both relationships I chose to leave with nothing. So planning for retirement etc is crucial for me as there is no second income in my house.
Leshar....I'm glad you were able to put the slant on your dissing the director. I think that was another scary thing I read about alcohol....how it changes the brain chemistry to make us think we are always right. I have no doubt that pattern continues after we stop drinking and we have to be constantly mindful of it.
I'm wondering if you would be interested in some kind of volunteering with children? I know many schools here need assistance with reading and maths programs, needing volunteers. Or you may find there are teachers aides roles, where you get recognition for prior learning and you would only need to do a short certificate course to qualify you. Obviously the system is a little different in Canada, but yes, I'd go to an adult education college and see a counsellor there as they'd be best placed to know about any bridging courses Etc. you could also ring a local school and ask what is needed to become a teachers aide.
My last "plan" was pretty loose and mainly was career focused. Needless to say, I've achieved zero in my personal life since hard drinking the past 3 years before getting sober - Nothing. Career achievements are questionable and probably squandered during that time also. But anyways, that's the whole point of looking forward.
I've always tried to have some kind of planned goals, probably since my mid 20s. It's more what you are hoping to achieve for yourself and your life....not just ambitions or career focus at all. Hell, mine has things on it like buy a sewing machine, learn the drums (don't ask), get singing lessons.
I'm sure you have a mini list in your mind Snoozy...even though I'm sure you are content. Just cos I call it a 5 year plan, doesn't mean it's any more important than what it's really meant to be!
Also, financially - the reality is I don't have a partner and both relationships I chose to leave with nothing. So planning for retirement etc is crucial for me as there is no second income in my house.
Leshar....I'm glad you were able to put the slant on your dissing the director. I think that was another scary thing I read about alcohol....how it changes the brain chemistry to make us think we are always right. I have no doubt that pattern continues after we stop drinking and we have to be constantly mindful of it.
I'm wondering if you would be interested in some kind of volunteering with children? I know many schools here need assistance with reading and maths programs, needing volunteers. Or you may find there are teachers aides roles, where you get recognition for prior learning and you would only need to do a short certificate course to qualify you. Obviously the system is a little different in Canada, but yes, I'd go to an adult education college and see a counsellor there as they'd be best placed to know about any bridging courses Etc. you could also ring a local school and ask what is needed to become a teachers aide.
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