Dee74

I'm in and out...but around, Bruce

Hiya Ilya

D

BruceSA

Hey some posts while I was typing. The speed of the train makes updates rathert slow.

Keep your spirits up please Ilya, what do you mean about two rungs down, please?

Welcome Tan! Great to have you here! Congrats on 60 days. Excellent.

Train going into the tunnels soon so reception will be even worse.

Ilya

Bruce, I've been full speed ahead, stress-wise and work-wise since early March. Lots of big, weird stressful events. Not a single one exaggerated.
Quitting drinking, bedbugs, busy schedule, deadlines galore on extracurricular projects which I put pressure on myself to make a priority, travel, in-laws, huge fights with my husband, major past trauma exacerbations (family related and proximal), job loss, job gain...
Yeah, that last one? I'm bartending again. I need a job. Need.
No, I cannot just take time off. No, I cannot just go looking for something else right now. No I cannot just give myself some time and think clearly.
Anyone familiar with American poverty knows that sometimes, you just take the job. That's what you do. I got bills to pay. Ilya gots to get paid.
I hope it's temporary.

Ilya

Oh, what I meant about two rungs down:

I'm on a ladder, and I'm too high. Too much stress. Too much work. After Wednesday, I only have 5 things to be worried about. My current job, my prospective job, the job I just got, my portfolio, and trying not to drink.
Then I have two days of worrying about that.
Then I think I might actually have two days with nothing scheduled. (!)

We'll see. Disappointment could take me down

Ilya

No one is in here. No one is ever here. I feel like every time I open up it's to a totally empty room and then someone eventually comes along and it's like everything I said was invisible. I might need a break from here.

Dee74

I understand things gotta get done.
As long as you can stay sober you'll have the best chance of keeping your head above water and not going under Ilya.

D

Dee74

I think you need to relax

Noones ignoring you. You tend to post when most of the members are asleep.

D

Dee74

you still here Ilya?

D

Ilya

That may be true, but I did not say that people were "ignoring" me per se. I said that no one is ever here. By the time someone rolls around, it's after the fact and I do feel invisible. I can only speak for myself, so yes it does sound like I'm being self centered. But I don't speak for other people.

It's just lonely here. I'm feeling frustrated and I'm being honest. Just clarifying that.

Dee74

No worries. I'm not criticising you

Could you try taking an earlier break maybe?
Then you'd be assured of more people.

Even I'm not usually around much this hour cos I get my dinner ready.

D

Ilya

Do you know of any forums that may be home to people in my time zone? Sometimes I just need to talk to someone. I'm in the eastern US. I think I've grown weary of the posting and waiting and then my issue blows over and it's no big deal and same for everyone else. Sometimes I need to know someone is there and I think you have a lot in your plate, Dee.

Ilya

I don't have breaks. I check in when I can. Actually I check in every chance I get to stop what I'm doing. And you know how frequent that is.

Dee74

The Under One Year thread has a few latenighters, English people and Aussies?

D

Ilya

Goodnight

Dee74

Hands Across Time Zones thread too?

D

Dee74

OK. See you later

If none of those work for you, why not start your own thread in Newcomers?

D

Ilya

I'll try it, thank you.


Isn't it funny how when someone tells you to relax you do the opposite? I was just being forthright.
But no, I'm not relaxed.

Dee74

There's a few suggestions to think about anyway

Night Ilya
D

BruceSA

Hello Ilya,

I understand what you're saying, I think the volume here oscilates quite a bit.

Mostly I'm either travelling or stuck in meetings or other remote places where carrier pigeons are all the rage. Perhaps there is a more "instant" form of notification when you're feeling down or need someone to chat to? You've certainly had a rough few months and I see why you're feeling like you are.

I try and visit these pages as often as I can.

Think D made some good pointers?

calichris

Ilya my dear, I was sleeping during your posts. I am here for you. We all are. Dee had a great suggestions starting your own thread for your time zone too.
I love some o the other threads too like the One Year and Under club that one is always busy! Also the Grateful thread is awesome! Some really good ones!! Love you Ilya !!