Class of January 2014 Part 9
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 539
30 beers?!?! Who me?? .........yes, me. 
wow. I know you're right. Very, very right. I do wish I could drink like a normal person though. Y'know? Wouldn't that be nice?
I had a dream of drinking last night. I was at a big party and I was drunk and went and hid from my husband and made out with Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars and the next morning he told my husband and then took off on a plane.
My guilt was so horrendous, and I had that hungover foggy brain, so I decided the only thing I could do to numb the guilt and shame was to keep drinking so I went around to all the tables and drank leftover wine.
This morning I had a frank chat with myself, I remembered back to the first 5 days coming on here saying "This is SO much worse than last time!!" So if I start drinking again, slip back into it deep again, then eventually I will have to quit again! And it will be even worse!!!!!!!!!! And I don't think I could do that!!
Only one option! Rarrrrghhh. So freakin hard arguing with the Worlds BEST Debater, the illustrious A.V.!!
I think this morning calls for Katy Perry's Roar, even though I'm sick to death of it, it seems fitting.
wow. I know you're right. Very, very right. I do wish I could drink like a normal person though. Y'know? Wouldn't that be nice?
I had a dream of drinking last night. I was at a big party and I was drunk and went and hid from my husband and made out with Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars and the next morning he told my husband and then took off on a plane.
My guilt was so horrendous, and I had that hungover foggy brain, so I decided the only thing I could do to numb the guilt and shame was to keep drinking so I went around to all the tables and drank leftover wine.
This morning I had a frank chat with myself, I remembered back to the first 5 days coming on here saying "This is SO much worse than last time!!" So if I start drinking again, slip back into it deep again, then eventually I will have to quit again! And it will be even worse!!!!!!!!!! And I don't think I could do that!!
Only one option! Rarrrrghhh. So freakin hard arguing with the Worlds BEST Debater, the illustrious A.V.!!
I think this morning calls for Katy Perry's Roar, even though I'm sick to death of it, it seems fitting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
I agree with Dee. No debating w/ the AV. Once you open negotiations with it, you open the door to concessions you don't have to give.
Good morning class. After a very, very emotional last week, I'm feeling more centered today - feel like a storm has passed and the sun is back out. It is literal as well - gorgeous days here. Peak stress at work but good to feel like a solid foundation exists below it. I've been going to about 4 meetings a week and that helps re-focus me immensely. I am so grateful for other alcoholics - here and in the rest of my life. It is absolutely amazing the calm and clarity I get from spending time in their and your presence. What a gift community is.
Have a great day everyone.
Good morning class. After a very, very emotional last week, I'm feeling more centered today - feel like a storm has passed and the sun is back out. It is literal as well - gorgeous days here. Peak stress at work but good to feel like a solid foundation exists below it. I've been going to about 4 meetings a week and that helps re-focus me immensely. I am so grateful for other alcoholics - here and in the rest of my life. It is absolutely amazing the calm and clarity I get from spending time in their and your presence. What a gift community is.
Have a great day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
I wish I could pack up some of our sunshine and send it your way, Adee, at least 20 degrees worth anyway. 106 F at 5:00 p.m. and a few more days of it before we catch a break, blah!
I have a women's meeting saved on my phone that I will get to eventually, after battling traffic 1 1/2 hours to get home, there's no way I'm going back out, especially in this heat.
Fortunately, my AV must be on vacation, I haven't heard from it for several weeks now. I think I'll post a No Vacancy sign and surprise it when and if it returns.
I'm happy that things have mellowed out for you Adee, everyone needs a break now and then. I hope everyone else is doing well.
It does tend to get quiet around here, so to occupy some elective dead time yesterday, I poked around on some of the threads that have been going for several years. It's nice to see that the main conversation is just updating on life's happenings. It gives us all something to look forward to, life without the disruptions from the infamous AV.
I have a women's meeting saved on my phone that I will get to eventually, after battling traffic 1 1/2 hours to get home, there's no way I'm going back out, especially in this heat.
Fortunately, my AV must be on vacation, I haven't heard from it for several weeks now. I think I'll post a No Vacancy sign and surprise it when and if it returns.
I'm happy that things have mellowed out for you Adee, everyone needs a break now and then. I hope everyone else is doing well.
It does tend to get quiet around here, so to occupy some elective dead time yesterday, I poked around on some of the threads that have been going for several years. It's nice to see that the main conversation is just updating on life's happenings. It gives us all something to look forward to, life without the disruptions from the infamous AV.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 442
Good Morning Class...I had 2 beers last night...2! and for what? Nothing. I got absolutely nothing from it.
Day 1 today. As most of you know I broke on May 3rd after 122 days. Felt fine and then went 10 days until last night. I need to stop this immediately before I go back to the old days.
I have been getting away from my routine, been feeling negative about work and other situations, and just broke.
Working on getting back up.
Congrats to those who have been staying strong this whole time
Day 1 today. As most of you know I broke on May 3rd after 122 days. Felt fine and then went 10 days until last night. I need to stop this immediately before I go back to the old days.
I have been getting away from my routine, been feeling negative about work and other situations, and just broke.
Working on getting back up.
Congrats to those who have been staying strong this whole time
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Congratulations Kris and Finnie, it's so awesome to see the sobriety days increase. Sending you hugs and well wishes that the journey continues to with ease and serenity!
Halfvictory, sometimes it takes a few slips before our determination overrides our compulsions, it did for me. Don't let it get you down, you made it 122 days before, so you know you can do this! Don't second guess yourself and take the option off the table and out of the house. I'm really proud of you for recognizing that the time to quit is now and not allowing your AV to convince you to put it off. Your recent sobriety streak is still fresh so continuing on the journey should be easier than starting over.
Halfvictory, sometimes it takes a few slips before our determination overrides our compulsions, it did for me. Don't let it get you down, you made it 122 days before, so you know you can do this! Don't second guess yourself and take the option off the table and out of the house. I'm really proud of you for recognizing that the time to quit is now and not allowing your AV to convince you to put it off. Your recent sobriety streak is still fresh so continuing on the journey should be easier than starting over.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Good morning SR friends, wishing everyone a happy Friday and a weekend free from the ups and downs of early sobriety. I feel like I am adapting to my life as a non-drinker and there is a sense of contentment with that acceptance. I'm looking forward to some cooler temperatures and the inspiration to tackle some home improvement projects and the courage to bathe two cats.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 442
Good Morning Class! Hope everyone is doing well today. I am feeling great right now. On Day 2.
Dee: I had 2 beers on wednesday night but that's not when I broke. I broke earlier that day when I started thinking about those 2 beers and I didn't do enough to stop it. I was telling myself that it was ok to have some that night.
Dee: I had 2 beers on wednesday night but that's not when I broke. I broke earlier that day when I started thinking about those 2 beers and I didn't do enough to stop it. I was telling myself that it was ok to have some that night.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 539
Spent over an hour typing out my entire life history of drinking, when it started, how it escalated,etc. It was very satisfying and I was even entertaining the idea of writing a novel based on it some day, yeah its that juicy...
I poured out all my feelings and emotions and I think it came out really well, and I was planning on putting it on a blog or something.
At some point I opened a new tab and when I went back to it all of it was gone except one paragraph.
I then spent the next two hours trying to get it back, all these confusing steps digging deep into my computers files. Gone.
So devastating.
BUT. It wasn't a complete waste, because by the time I was done writing, I had faced all the dark, dank, suppressed memories. Awful, disturbing, shameful things I haven't thought of in 15 years.
I was shocked reading back over my story. The person that did all those things, was not me. I, Me, Myself, would NEVER do those things.
When alcohol gets me in me, I'm a different person, period.
So all those years spent drunk I wasn't even really there, for my own life.
By the time I was done writing that, it was utterly inconceivable to consider drinking again. Why would I? Nothing good has ever come of it, ever.
I poured out all my feelings and emotions and I think it came out really well, and I was planning on putting it on a blog or something.
At some point I opened a new tab and when I went back to it all of it was gone except one paragraph.
I then spent the next two hours trying to get it back, all these confusing steps digging deep into my computers files. Gone.
So devastating.
BUT. It wasn't a complete waste, because by the time I was done writing, I had faced all the dark, dank, suppressed memories. Awful, disturbing, shameful things I haven't thought of in 15 years.
I was shocked reading back over my story. The person that did all those things, was not me. I, Me, Myself, would NEVER do those things.
When alcohol gets me in me, I'm a different person, period.
So all those years spent drunk I wasn't even really there, for my own life.
By the time I was done writing that, it was utterly inconceivable to consider drinking again. Why would I? Nothing good has ever come of it, ever.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,424
I'm sorry you lost it Arctic but I think the fact you did it is more important?
Thanks Halfvictory, I'm sure you have ideas on how you might handle that better next time.
I used something from Allen Carr - I would think about what I was expecting alcohol to do...access the viability of that expectation (it was never viable)...then try and think of healthier ways to scratch the itch?
D
Thanks Halfvictory, I'm sure you have ideas on how you might handle that better next time.
I used something from Allen Carr - I would think about what I was expecting alcohol to do...access the viability of that expectation (it was never viable)...then try and think of healthier ways to scratch the itch?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
Hey, I'm on that ride too, Finnie. 
Hey all. I'm really tired from way too much work this week. Just checking in to say I'm sober and grateful even though a bit burned out. I'm starting to build some relationships in my sobriety support and it is a really, really nice thing after being so isolated for so long. It's not a cure-all, but it sure does help.
Life is really kicking my ass lately so I haven't been able to post much but I'm still reading every day and rooting for all of you.
Happy Saturday.
Hey all. I'm really tired from way too much work this week. Just checking in to say I'm sober and grateful even though a bit burned out. I'm starting to build some relationships in my sobriety support and it is a really, really nice thing after being so isolated for so long. It's not a cure-all, but it sure does help.
Life is really kicking my ass lately so I haven't been able to post much but I'm still reading every day and rooting for all of you.
Happy Saturday.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Overdid today, too.
Feeling the results of it.
The best part of my life is still my sobriety.
Get some R&R Adee and Finnie. Hope your weather is as beautiful as today was here.
Artic, you did good girl! i need to do the same once i'm able to write.
Congrats to all of us sober today!
Feeling the results of it.
The best part of my life is still my sobriety.
Get some R&R Adee and Finnie. Hope your weather is as beautiful as today was here.
Artic, you did good girl! i need to do the same once i'm able to write.
Congrats to all of us sober today!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Hello everyone, I hope that the weekend has given everyone a much needed reprieve from life's demands. Sunday afternoon here, finishing chores and getting ready for another work week. One thing I have noticed is that thoughts of drinking are gone. Anyone else experiencing this welcome change? I know everyone's journey is different, but I wonder if it's a natural progression; the initial struggle to stop, fighting the AV for months and finally an acceptance that alcohol is no longer a part of my life.
Wishing you all a week filled with hope and happiness.
Wishing you all a week filled with hope and happiness.
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