Class of September 2013 - Part 30
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
BLK, I am confident that the decision you make will be well thought-out, prudent and sound. I think people in general tend to assume that in every choice there is a right and a wrong way to go ... and I don't necessarily agree. I think that often there are several perfectly good choices that each will lead to fullfillment and growth and good things, and we get to choose the one we feel is best for us in that moment.
I'm glad you're feeling more comforted in your choice.
I'm glad you're feeling more comforted in your choice.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Thanks for the great advise guys, its got to the point that rehab is probably the only way for me to stay stopped, Im frustrated that despite going to the doctors and alcohol clinic I feel Im banging my head on a brick wall and going around and around the 'system' and getting nowhere to be honest. Thought the threat from that doctor telling me I HAVE to quit for at least six months I couldn't even make 3 weeks, the other frustrating thing is when I went for an assessment at the local alcohol centre type place, it seemed to me like when they knew I had stopped for a few months and weeks they presume I can do it on my own. I cant STAY stopped though, AA has been great but I cant be in a meeting 24hrs a day and that devil in me strikes at the worst possible times ie before starting a new job or foolishingly before that date I went on.
Its got the point that I know I need to get more angry and insist on some rehab and fight for it so back to the docs tomorrow to kick butt and fight for my life. And look into actually changing instead of just identifying the fact that Im an alcoholic being enough to stay sober- self knowledge wasn't enough, think I remember that being said in the Big Book, and must admit that just going to meetings and having a coffee afterwards with someone wasn't enough either- I didn't put the footwork in so I didn't change. God Ive got a BIG journey ahead but its the only option for me now.
Its got the point that I know I need to get more angry and insist on some rehab and fight for it so back to the docs tomorrow to kick butt and fight for my life. And look into actually changing instead of just identifying the fact that Im an alcoholic being enough to stay sober- self knowledge wasn't enough, think I remember that being said in the Big Book, and must admit that just going to meetings and having a coffee afterwards with someone wasn't enough either- I didn't put the footwork in so I didn't change. God Ive got a BIG journey ahead but its the only option for me now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
1Step, be very forward with your doctor. You need to stop this cycle for your health and livelihood. It does sound like rehab is the best option. What more evidence does the doctor need? You are unemployed and have serious health issues related to drinking.
Try to be a strong advocate for yourself. Can you bring someone with you, who knows you and agrees that you need rehab. To help communicate your struggles and issues? Someone strong from your AA group, that you trust, or perhaps your father?
Other than that, I cannot top all the great advice you are getting here, and I am not great success story so I do not feel qualified to give advice for solid long term sobriety yet. But there is a lot of wisdom in the above posts.
Try to be a strong advocate for yourself. Can you bring someone with you, who knows you and agrees that you need rehab. To help communicate your struggles and issues? Someone strong from your AA group, that you trust, or perhaps your father?
Other than that, I cannot top all the great advice you are getting here, and I am not great success story so I do not feel qualified to give advice for solid long term sobriety yet. But there is a lot of wisdom in the above posts.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Originally Posted by 1stepup 
Its got the point that I know I need to get more angry and insist on some rehab and fight for it so back to the docs tomorrow to kick butt and fight for my life. And look into actually changing instead of just identifying the fact that Im an alcoholic being enough to stay sober- self knowledge wasn't enough, think I remember that being said in the Big Book, and must admit that just going to meetings and having a coffee afterwards with someone wasn't enough either- I didn't put the footwork in so I didn't change. God Ive got a BIG journey ahead but its the only option for me now.
Yes! This! All of this, 1Step, is exactly right. I love that fire in your belly. Get angry and demand the help you need. You are correct that it is a fight for your life. You can win!
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
I work in insurance and have to tell people all the time here in the U.S., that unless you take charge of your own healthcare - you run a risk of being overlooked or undertreated. I can only imagine that the problem is made worse by a national healthcare system. It isn't personal, although I imagine it feels so. They are just busy, with a lot on their plate. Triaging patients can feel dismissive. And - it's less work, less cost, less paperwork if you go home.
But if you are the "squeaky wheel" 1step, you can garner attention. Think of this as your first step in valuing yourself. You are of value to many - you have a right to health care - and you are very very sick. Don't let them send you away. Convince them!
It really is fight for your life.
Can you take an aggressive family member/friend with you to help you? I did this once, and boy did it work! My sister-in-law was getting screwed over, so I brought my other sister in to the picture. She was very direct and didn't take no for an answer.
But if you are the "squeaky wheel" 1step, you can garner attention. Think of this as your first step in valuing yourself. You are of value to many - you have a right to health care - and you are very very sick. Don't let them send you away. Convince them!
It really is fight for your life.Can you take an aggressive family member/friend with you to help you? I did this once, and boy did it work! My sister-in-law was getting screwed over, so I brought my other sister in to the picture. She was very direct and didn't take no for an answer.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,107
Lillian I am on a first name basis with UHC right now and I don't like it and I bet they don't like me cuz I'm sure they're spending a lot of money. My eye surgery was almost 9,000 dollars I have no idea about my sleep study test or my jaw breaking session. I've always liked you but now I'm curious about my judgement since you're an insurance person..lol
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,107
I think I am at the longest point of sobriety ever in my life I am happy about my sobriety. I've been having a lot of medical issues I don't know if its related to my years of alcohol abuse I think I have finally lost my job not to my alcohol but to my health I'm trying to be strong
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
Fishy, I'm so glad to read that you're holding strong! Sobriety is a blessing, no matter what else is going on in life. Drinking makes everything worse.
I'm feeling grumpy tonight. I think I'm just worn out ... I've had a cold, I worked a long day, and I just want to be left alone to relax. But everyone needs something. Grr. It's no one's fault .. I'm just in a mood. I think I'll go to bed early.
I'm feeling grumpy tonight. I think I'm just worn out ... I've had a cold, I worked a long day, and I just want to be left alone to relax. But everyone needs something. Grr. It's no one's fault .. I'm just in a mood. I think I'll go to bed early.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,019
Originally Posted by PeanutButterCup
Fishy, I'm so glad to read that you're holding strong! Sobriety is a blessing, no matter what else is going on in life. Drinking makes everything worse.
I'm feeling grumpy tonight. I think I'm just worn out ... I've had a cold, I worked a long day, and I just want to be left alone to relax. But everyone needs something. Grr. It's no one's fault .. I'm just in a mood. I think I'll go to bed early.
I'm feeling grumpy tonight. I think I'm just worn out ... I've had a cold, I worked a long day, and I just want to be left alone to relax. But everyone needs something. Grr. It's no one's fault .. I'm just in a mood. I think I'll go to bed early.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by MrFixit63
Lillian I am on a first name basis with UHC right now and I don't like it and I bet they don't like me cuz I'm sure they're spending a lot of money. My eye surgery was almost 9,000 dollars I have no idea about my sleep study test or my jaw breaking session. I've always liked you but now I'm curious about my judgement since you're an insurance person..lol
I'm not actually with an insurance company, so maybe you can like me a little?
I'm an independent consultant that helps employers manage their employee benefit plans. I love yelling at insurance companies!Glad you have insurance to pay for all your treatment. Sorry to hear your health has been so trying.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,019
Hey all
Thought I'd share a happy story.
When I first started going to AA, I went to one particular meeting that was chaired by a rather stern young man (he used to proudly describe himself as a step Nazi). His background was that he used to be a senior executive in Asia with a great salary, beautiful apartment, lovely wife and drive a sports car (the one with a prancing horse). However, he was also a closet gay and an alcoholic. The more he drank, the more successful he became. However, it eventually came crashing down and he lost his job. Within 3 months, he lost everything and was homeless. He spent his welfare drinking methylated spirits and sleeping in parks. After a few years he attempted suicide and was rushed to ER. There he was treated for his alcoholism and he started going to AA. It took him 18 months before he became sober. Once getting sobriety, he started volunteer work and got a low end job (for his profession) which paid enough for his rent and transport. When I met him, he had almost 3 years of sobriety. He was not content with his job but was grateful that at least he was sober and enjoying what life had to offer him.
About 5 months ago, he was diagnosed with bone cancer. It was at a serious stage and he was terrified of dying. However, he remained resolute in not giving in to drink. He quit his job and focus on chemo and recovery. The initial assessment wasn't positive as he had numerous growths all over his body. This was after the first series of chemo.
I found out yesterday that he had his second series of chemo and miraculously, his cancer is in full remission. He managed to also find a new job which has him flying all over the world as a senior executive. Also, he is now driving a another sports car (German prancing horse).
So, wondrous things do happen !
Thought I'd share a happy story.
When I first started going to AA, I went to one particular meeting that was chaired by a rather stern young man (he used to proudly describe himself as a step Nazi). His background was that he used to be a senior executive in Asia with a great salary, beautiful apartment, lovely wife and drive a sports car (the one with a prancing horse). However, he was also a closet gay and an alcoholic. The more he drank, the more successful he became. However, it eventually came crashing down and he lost his job. Within 3 months, he lost everything and was homeless. He spent his welfare drinking methylated spirits and sleeping in parks. After a few years he attempted suicide and was rushed to ER. There he was treated for his alcoholism and he started going to AA. It took him 18 months before he became sober. Once getting sobriety, he started volunteer work and got a low end job (for his profession) which paid enough for his rent and transport. When I met him, he had almost 3 years of sobriety. He was not content with his job but was grateful that at least he was sober and enjoying what life had to offer him.
About 5 months ago, he was diagnosed with bone cancer. It was at a serious stage and he was terrified of dying. However, he remained resolute in not giving in to drink. He quit his job and focus on chemo and recovery. The initial assessment wasn't positive as he had numerous growths all over his body. This was after the first series of chemo.
I found out yesterday that he had his second series of chemo and miraculously, his cancer is in full remission. He managed to also find a new job which has him flying all over the world as a senior executive. Also, he is now driving a another sports car (German prancing horse).
So, wondrous things do happen !
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
Originally Posted by Kaneda8888
Hey 1Step
I am sorry to hear about the last lapse. However, you can make it your last lapse if you make a change.
I believe it is crucial that you make sobriety your number one priority. It ranks ahead of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING including family, friends, work, love life, social events, etc.
"Anything you place before sobriety you will lose." That is an AA saying and I have seen it happen again and again. AA members with whatever period of sobriety relapse because work, family, etc was deemed more important than maintaining their recovery. Sure enough, they then proceed to lose their family, job, etc.
I urge you to take this time to recuperate, heal physically and purposefully determine a recovery plan with no compromises. GO to AA meetings, AVRT, any other 12 step program and see what works for you. Consult a therapist, your doctor and get advice. If they advise you to take medication such as naltrexone or antabuse, then do consider it. In short, there is no one plan that fits all. So, it is a process of discovery to figure out what works for you.
There is a commitment needed to kick off recovery. If you commit wholeheartedly, then you will recover.
Also, it doesnt need to be complicated ! There are 3 guides I learnt at the beginning of my recovery:
- dont pick up the first drink
- go to AA meetings
- dont go back to your old environment
It is simple and it works if you stick to it no matter the circumstance.
1Step, you can do it. By coming here and being honest, you are already demonstrating the will and humility to want sobriety. There is no such thing as failure if you never give up.
Stay close, recover and have hope that you can do this !
I am sorry to hear about the last lapse. However, you can make it your last lapse if you make a change.
I believe it is crucial that you make sobriety your number one priority. It ranks ahead of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING including family, friends, work, love life, social events, etc.
"Anything you place before sobriety you will lose." That is an AA saying and I have seen it happen again and again. AA members with whatever period of sobriety relapse because work, family, etc was deemed more important than maintaining their recovery. Sure enough, they then proceed to lose their family, job, etc.
I urge you to take this time to recuperate, heal physically and purposefully determine a recovery plan with no compromises. GO to AA meetings, AVRT, any other 12 step program and see what works for you. Consult a therapist, your doctor and get advice. If they advise you to take medication such as naltrexone or antabuse, then do consider it. In short, there is no one plan that fits all. So, it is a process of discovery to figure out what works for you.
There is a commitment needed to kick off recovery. If you commit wholeheartedly, then you will recover.
Also, it doesnt need to be complicated ! There are 3 guides I learnt at the beginning of my recovery:
- dont pick up the first drink
- go to AA meetings
- dont go back to your old environment
It is simple and it works if you stick to it no matter the circumstance.
1Step, you can do it. By coming here and being honest, you are already demonstrating the will and humility to want sobriety. There is no such thing as failure if you never give up.
Stay close, recover and have hope that you can do this !
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
Originally Posted by PeanutButterCup
BLK, I am confident that the decision you make will be well thought-out, prudent and sound. I think people in general tend to assume that in every choice there is a right and a wrong way to go ... and I don't necessarily agree. I think that often there are several perfectly good choices that each will lead to fullfillment and growth and good things, and we get to choose the one we feel is best for us in that moment.
I'm glad you're feeling more comforted in your choice.
I'm glad you're feeling more comforted in your choice.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Glasgow, UK
Posts: 362
Morning all,
Glad to hear you are getting the treatment you need MrFixit but sorry that your health continues to give you so much trouble.
I have my first appointment with the community mental health care team at 12 for an assessment for ongoing support for my depression and anxiety. Glad to be getting seen by someone but a bit nervous as well. I'm also gearing myself up to tell my history for the umpteenth time. I know that it needs to be done but it's a bit frustrating.
Today is the first time I've really felt the reality of the last few weeks hitting home. I think I'm feeling some more emotion about things. I guess that's a good thing but is making today a bit rough.
Glad to hear you are getting the treatment you need MrFixit but sorry that your health continues to give you so much trouble.
I have my first appointment with the community mental health care team at 12 for an assessment for ongoing support for my depression and anxiety. Glad to be getting seen by someone but a bit nervous as well. I'm also gearing myself up to tell my history for the umpteenth time. I know that it needs to be done but it's a bit frustrating.
Today is the first time I've really felt the reality of the last few weeks hitting home. I think I'm feeling some more emotion about things. I guess that's a good thing but is making today a bit rough.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
All the best Nightswimming, Ive been to doctors today and happy to say it went well, he was supportive and is giving all the support he can to put me through a rehab system via the substance support group I have contacted feel relief and fear but I know its going to take time and not an overnight thing and it will take patience but I feel with AA and the support I receive here I can do this, thanks all for the support (again), it felt weird actually getting it all out and saying how bad its got- my pride got hurt but I need to beat this and Im doing all I can.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 4 (0 members and 4 guests)
