Moms and Mums Club Part 10
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Welcome Verte!
I am just over 1 year sober and have been here in this thread from the beginning, and it helped me more than words can describe!
I have a 7 year old daughter, and she is the main reason I am here today. I wanted to be a better mom, and wanted to be around for graduations, picking out her wedding dress, first child etc.! My life is do much better now!!
I think you will like it here, we all have a something in common:-). Like Bebetter, I too was a Lovonox user during my pregnancy after losing 3 babies.
Stick around and share what you feel comfortable sharing....we are all here to support you and listen:-)
I am just over 1 year sober and have been here in this thread from the beginning, and it helped me more than words can describe!
I have a 7 year old daughter, and she is the main reason I am here today. I wanted to be a better mom, and wanted to be around for graduations, picking out her wedding dress, first child etc.! My life is do much better now!!
I think you will like it here, we all have a something in common:-). Like Bebetter, I too was a Lovonox user during my pregnancy after losing 3 babies.
Stick around and share what you feel comfortable sharing....we are all here to support you and listen:-)
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Helo Dolly,
Happy Saturday to you. Sorry about hear about the loss of your babes
I've been there as well.
Thanks for the warm welcome
Great to hear how well the support has worked for you.
Definitely cannot wait to talk with you all. The afternoons are still really hard for me...especially at the end of a week. I'm Day18 today and realize that I need to stick tight to whatever support that I can
Talk soon
Happy Saturday to you. Sorry about hear about the loss of your babes
I've been there as well.Thanks for the warm welcome
Great to hear how well the support has worked for you.Definitely cannot wait to talk with you all. The afternoons are still really hard for me...especially at the end of a week. I'm Day18 today and realize that I need to stick tight to whatever support that I can
Talk soon
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 60
Hi Girls,
Welcome to you Needing Help and also Verte - I'm also relatively new here and finding it extremely helpful, especially on the days I get strong cravings. I have a nearly 5 year old boy and I have to say my relationship with him has hugely improved since I stopped drinking. I'm sure that's not a coincidence...
Has been a busy few days and is about to get busier so not much time to share, but really taking strength from what people write. Thankyou...
Welcome to you Needing Help and also Verte - I'm also relatively new here and finding it extremely helpful, especially on the days I get strong cravings. I have a nearly 5 year old boy and I have to say my relationship with him has hugely improved since I stopped drinking. I'm sure that's not a coincidence...
Has been a busy few days and is about to get busier so not much time to share, but really taking strength from what people write. Thankyou...
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hey Bebetter - sorry to hear your struggling at the moment - u ok?
Hey verte - you're in fab company here
Im still flat out and just chilling with an Angelina Jolie movie I've never seen before. Totally wiped out from the day but good
Hope everyones ok xxxxx
Hey verte - you're in fab company here
Im still flat out and just chilling with an Angelina Jolie movie I've never seen before. Totally wiped out from the day but good
Hope everyones ok xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 167
Bebetter... Are u inside my brain today?????... Omg.. Word for word as far as the urge goes for me for the last 24 hours!!!! Every fiber of my being is CRAVING a glass/bottle of wine... I swear I can feel and taste it going down and the warmth once it hits my belly and the sweet release I will feel... I am miserable today and was last night!!! Woke up this morning feeling hungover with a dry mouth and pounding headache and had not drank and honestly felt kinda pissed still.... I am cranky as all get out and feel like I will never again enjoy a cold beer on a hot summer day and am having a major pity party for one and I hate it!!! Called me sponsor and talked it all thru and am waiting now for my hubby to get back from his errand so I can dump on him and get over it!!!!!! ..... Am feeling lonely and missing all my family and friends back home and am remembering all the fun times I had back in Chicago with concerts and festivals and great nights out with friends and wanna get dressed up in something gorgeous and have a glass of wine ... But yet I know it is all a charade.... Ugh!!!!!... This too shall pass I guess... Thanks for letting me dump....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 506
Hey sissy, that was me yesterday exactly!! You'll be ok, try and keep busy all day and go to bed early with a book or watch something on tv I feel better today and so glad I didn't go out and get that bottle!
Welcome verte, I have two little girls ages 2 and 5. Be better I didn't realise we both had girls the same age!! Can you do online meetings on your phone? Or do you have to be on a computer?
I feel better today and so glad I didn't go out and get that bottle!Welcome verte, I have two little girls ages 2 and 5. Be better I didn't realise we both had girls the same age!! Can you do online meetings on your phone? Or do you have to be on a computer?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Ugh, sitting on the couch with my heat pack tonight. It's that time again. I never had very bad PMS until after I had my baby, or perhaps it's my IUD. A few days before I feel really irritable (especially toward my husband), unmotivated, and tired. I've felt so stinkin' tired all day today and I got plenty of sleep last night. This is when I get my worst cravings for alcohol too. In fact, today all of a sudden, out of NOWHERE I got a very intense craving for beer. It was just like the cravings I had at the beginning of my sobriety where there was little room for negotiation. Beer sounded like a fantastic idea no matter what. I was even thinking "eh, I probably won't get a hangover from beer, it's mostly water. I was always able to handle beer". I think it was hormones coupled with being thirsty at the time because I felt better shortly after.
Other than that, I've had a fantastic day. Baby is at a wonderful age right now. He's so curious, he makes really cute noises, and he's in a pretty good mood most of the time. Tomorrow we have plans to go to the beach, so I hope those plans stick. We keep putting it off. Plus, today is 100 days for me! I'm so excited. Even more excited than 90 days. 100 days just seems like such a big number lol. Anyway, take care ladies!
Other than that, I've had a fantastic day. Baby is at a wonderful age right now. He's so curious, he makes really cute noises, and he's in a pretty good mood most of the time. Tomorrow we have plans to go to the beach, so I hope those plans stick. We keep putting it off. Plus, today is 100 days for me! I'm so excited. Even more excited than 90 days. 100 days just seems like such a big number lol. Anyway, take care ladies!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Geez girls.... what's in the water these days?? It's weird how many of us are really feeling the tug right now.
Sissy - I'm glad you called your sponsor and think it's really cool that you can talk to your hubby about how you feel. My guy is completely loving, but just doesn't get it, and I keep that part of me out of our conversations, because when I do bring it up, I end up feeling more abnormal than I do for even having the cravings in the first place. ITA with all you wrote... my memories of drinking include some awesome times along with the truly, truly awful...
I went to our neighbor's house for a get together of 3 families tonight, and had a really great time. I was the only adult not drinking, and they had top shelf gin with top shelf tonic (yes, really - top shelf tonic), and I didn't really think much of it, though G&Ts were a long time standard for me - I think the first mixed drink I ever had was a G&T. Then, there was a really good pinot noire, and that tugged on me a little more, but it was okay. My water and lemon was tasty and the dessert was phenomenal, so I treated myself with 2 helpings of that.
Sissy - I'm glad you called your sponsor and think it's really cool that you can talk to your hubby about how you feel. My guy is completely loving, but just doesn't get it, and I keep that part of me out of our conversations, because when I do bring it up, I end up feeling more abnormal than I do for even having the cravings in the first place. ITA with all you wrote... my memories of drinking include some awesome times along with the truly, truly awful...
I went to our neighbor's house for a get together of 3 families tonight, and had a really great time. I was the only adult not drinking, and they had top shelf gin with top shelf tonic (yes, really - top shelf tonic), and I didn't really think much of it, though G&Ts were a long time standard for me - I think the first mixed drink I ever had was a G&T. Then, there was a really good pinot noire, and that tugged on me a little more, but it was okay. My water and lemon was tasty and the dessert was phenomenal, so I treated myself with 2 helpings of that.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi moms...
Hmm ladies, maybe some of us are hormonal. I know a lot of us are now very close together with our cycles, and I know I am due in a few days and have been extra irritable!
Anyway....hang tight and go to bed early if need be. Lay your head on the pillow, close your eyes and know it's just a matter of hours before you wake clear headed with another day to be proud of!
I made some peanut butter cup cookies to take my edge off:-)
Bebetter...glad you had a nice night with your friends.
In terms of talking with hubby about my alcoholism...I can't do it either. I tried once, but the conversation left me feeling worse about myself. I told him some things about my drinking, and I could see the shock in his eyes. He didn't say anything, but he couldn't mask it. He just doesn't get like you say!
Each month he would give me a congratulations on my anniversary day, and I HATED it! I know he was trying to be supportive, but coming from him I just felt like it was so patronizing! Like I was a child that just learned to tie my own shoes or something!
Anyway...when I hit 1 year, I nicely asked him to stop mentioning it each month, so hoping he listens.
Hmm ladies, maybe some of us are hormonal. I know a lot of us are now very close together with our cycles, and I know I am due in a few days and have been extra irritable!
Anyway....hang tight and go to bed early if need be. Lay your head on the pillow, close your eyes and know it's just a matter of hours before you wake clear headed with another day to be proud of!
I made some peanut butter cup cookies to take my edge off:-)
Bebetter...glad you had a nice night with your friends.
In terms of talking with hubby about my alcoholism...I can't do it either. I tried once, but the conversation left me feeling worse about myself. I told him some things about my drinking, and I could see the shock in his eyes. He didn't say anything, but he couldn't mask it. He just doesn't get like you say!
Each month he would give me a congratulations on my anniversary day, and I HATED it! I know he was trying to be supportive, but coming from him I just felt like it was so patronizing! Like I was a child that just learned to tie my own shoes or something!
Anyway...when I hit 1 year, I nicely asked him to stop mentioning it each month, so hoping he listens.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 506
Lulu what IUD do you have? I have the copper one and love it. Sorry you've been struggling, but congrats on 100 days!! That's so fantastic you should be so proud.
Bebetter well done on no alcohol at your neighbours! That must've been hard you being the only sober one!
Dolly yeah that does sound patronising. I told hubby last month I hadn't drank for nearly 5 months and he just said that's good. Maybe u shouldn't start again? Lol doesn't get it!!
Bebetter well done on no alcohol at your neighbours! That must've been hard you being the only sober one!
Dolly yeah that does sound patronising. I told hubby last month I hadn't drank for nearly 5 months and he just said that's good. Maybe u shouldn't start again? Lol doesn't get it!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Oh gosh, I hate talking to my husband about my alcoholism. He never really congratulates me on my sobriety, it's more like "you should have been sober in the first place" type of thing. Occasionally he asks me if I'm "OK", and he mentioned once that I was "strong enough to get through it", but that's about it. He quit drinking when he found out how bad my alcoholism was. He used to drink occasionally, and when he drank he drank extremely heavily. He has been arrested twice for aggression after drinking, but only charged once and it was in Australia. He has been in a couple car accidents related to drinking. Who knows what else. His nickname in college was Jack Daniels...
I'm glad he doesn't drink anymore, but at the same time I feel a little guilty. I remember him saying something like "you know this means I can't drink anymore, right?". He's military and he's very very strict. He just up and quits things sometimes, like caffeine. He leaves little room for mistakes. If they screw up his burger at McDonalds he won't go back to that restaurant for months, maybe even a year. He wasn't very happy that I screwed up so many times. He got us tickets to go see Fleetwood Mac when I almost had a month as a reward last year, but I blew that too and he threw the tickets away. No more rewards after that...
He basically told me he was on the verge of divorcing me when I was struggling. I'm afraid if I talk to him about my urges or anything he'll take my car keys and money away again. So... yuck. I just don't go there
I'm glad he doesn't drink anymore, but at the same time I feel a little guilty. I remember him saying something like "you know this means I can't drink anymore, right?". He's military and he's very very strict. He just up and quits things sometimes, like caffeine. He leaves little room for mistakes. If they screw up his burger at McDonalds he won't go back to that restaurant for months, maybe even a year. He wasn't very happy that I screwed up so many times. He got us tickets to go see Fleetwood Mac when I almost had a month as a reward last year, but I blew that too and he threw the tickets away.
No more rewards after that...He basically told me he was on the verge of divorcing me when I was struggling. I'm afraid if I talk to him about my urges or anything he'll take my car keys and money away again. So... yuck. I just don't go there
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
New Star- You are so correct! Alcoholics cannot quit for anyone but themselves. I just wish he'd quit for me!
My daughter is at a sleepover giving my hubby and I time alone. Instead of having a romantic rendezvous he's asleep and I believe drunk.
I almost caved in and drank today for our relationship. When he's drunk it's unbearable, that's why I drank so much to cover up the pain.
It's such a turn off to live with an alcoholic. I see that now that I'm sober! I'm glad my son only sees his father as the drunk now. I'm proud as hell of myself.
Strange how we all had such a nice family day today. We bought a skillet from William Sonoma! My hubby and are I love nice things. Have everything in common except alcohol now. it's still such a part of his life! I may need to go to a meeting....
XOX
My daughter is at a sleepover giving my hubby and I time alone. Instead of having a romantic rendezvous he's asleep and I believe drunk.
I almost caved in and drank today for our relationship. When he's drunk it's unbearable, that's why I drank so much to cover up the pain.
It's such a turn off to live with an alcoholic. I see that now that I'm sober! I'm glad my son only sees his father as the drunk now. I'm proud as hell of myself.
Strange how we all had such a nice family day today. We bought a skillet from William Sonoma! My hubby and are I love nice things. Have everything in common except alcohol now. it's still such a part of his life! I may need to go to a meeting....
XOX
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 506
That's tough Lucy about your hubby drinking you have done SO SO well and you should be so very proud of yourself.
Today I found a hidden half bottle of red wine. I went to throw it out and hubby said no, keep it maybe we could have sips of it now and then. Wtf?! lol he doesn't even drink! I put it in the cupboard but when he goes to work I'll throw it away. I had a smell of it. I was hoping it would repulse me but it didn't.
you have done SO SO well and you should be so very proud of yourself.Today I found a hidden half bottle of red wine. I went to throw it out and hubby said no, keep it maybe we could have sips of it now and then. Wtf?! lol he doesn't even drink! I put it in the cupboard but when he goes to work I'll throw it away. I had a smell of it. I was hoping it would repulse me but it didn't.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi moms...
Lucy...sorry your husband drank again:-(. Can't imagine how hard it is to live with that. Enjoy the skillet though....I so love Williams and Sonoma!!!!!!
New Star...good idea tossing the bottle...did you dump it?
Early Sunday morning here. Waiting for my girl to wake up. Not much on tap....just grocery shopping, gym, then cooking dinner:-)
Check back later.
Lucy...sorry your husband drank again:-(. Can't imagine how hard it is to live with that. Enjoy the skillet though....I so love Williams and Sonoma!!!!!!
New Star...good idea tossing the bottle...did you dump it?
Early Sunday morning here. Waiting for my girl to wake up. Not much on tap....just grocery shopping, gym, then cooking dinner:-)
Check back later.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
My husband leaves in half an hour for his "field trip" with his students. He supervises the science fair at his school and will be going with them to the state science fair. I remember last time he went away (about this same time last year) and I got "sober drunk" every night he was gone - that kind of drunk that doesn't even feel drunk - know what I mean? Imagine if there was an emergency... one more thing I need to forgive myself for.
Anyway, I think I got this, this year. Feeling strong-ish and have created a project of tagging all my photos on my computer, so I have something easy to focus on.
Anyway, I think I got this, this year. Feeling strong-ish and have created a project of tagging all my photos on my computer, so I have something easy to focus on.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Hi Ladies,
Lucy - I'm so glad you had a nice family day! What kind of skillet did you choose? I have been meaning to exchange one of my favorites for over a year now. It is the coated omelet pan...have never loved an inanimate object so much before in my life Used it for everything. But then the coating started to peel. I'll have to dig it out now. Inspired.
Bebetter - I hear you about the emergency thing and not being totally sober. My girls are nuts and I have already had a few ER visits...fortunately sober. BTW - my hormones were really nuts after a miscarriage. Even one of those 'chemical' pregnancies. Really, really off. Eyes bugging out, skin a little too warm, nausea. I was told this was normal. Sucks.
Needinghelp - welcome to the forum in general but this mom's thread in particular. My drinking habits and being a wife/mom are very closely linked. Argh.
Newstar- I have almost 3.5 year old twin girls. They are nuts. Absolutely insane. Between the two of them I have no idea how I am going to handle puberty. Well, that's a long way off so I have time to develop even thicker 'mamma' skin. And I say dump that wine, for sure.
Lulu - husbands. I spare you all my thoughts on this subject. Except to say that I feel like I have to manage the emotions of 3 children on a daily basis. If my husband threatened to divorce me I would hire a band and celebrate with a parade. Kidding. Being a mom and wife is not inherently rewarding for me. I personally have to pick out all the good bits from a pile of rubble to feel good about where I am in life.
JustSarah - which Angelina Jolie movie?
Chickster - Thanks for the welcome. It makes me really happy that you feel better about your relationship with your son since quitting drinking. Good for you both!
Sissy and Bebetter - hopefully today is a better day with those cravings. This morning started well and then by 10am I wanted to grab a tasty ****, put my boots on a pick-up dog poop in the yard. Ach! I'm back to square one will learning how to manage my won feeling when it is a frenzied tornado all around. Feeling the pain.
Ok Ladies, I think that is enough for the moment. I think i wrote somewhere already that I am putting boots on and heading in the open air. Best remedy for everything for me. Staying inside the house feels like a punishment for me. I grew up spending 95% of my time outside...wife/mom takes a lot of adjustment and compromise. One day at a time.
Thanks for letting me verbally let loose here. It feels a little crazy but I appreciate it.
Lucy - I'm so glad you had a nice family day! What kind of skillet did you choose? I have been meaning to exchange one of my favorites for over a year now. It is the coated omelet pan...have never loved an inanimate object so much before in my life
Used it for everything. But then the coating started to peel. I'll have to dig it out now. Inspired.Bebetter - I hear you about the emergency thing and not being totally sober. My girls are nuts and I have already had a few ER visits...fortunately sober. BTW - my hormones were really nuts after a miscarriage. Even one of those 'chemical' pregnancies. Really, really off. Eyes bugging out, skin a little too warm, nausea. I was told this was normal. Sucks.
Needinghelp - welcome to the forum in general but this mom's thread in particular. My drinking habits and being a wife/mom are very closely linked. Argh.
Newstar- I have almost 3.5 year old twin girls. They are nuts. Absolutely insane. Between the two of them I have no idea how I am going to handle puberty. Well, that's a long way off so I have time to develop even thicker 'mamma' skin. And I say dump that wine, for sure.
Lulu - husbands. I spare you all my thoughts on this subject. Except to say that I feel like I have to manage the emotions of 3 children on a daily basis. If my husband threatened to divorce me I would hire a band and celebrate with a parade. Kidding. Being a mom and wife is not inherently rewarding for me. I personally have to pick out all the good bits from a pile of rubble to feel good about where I am in life.
JustSarah - which Angelina Jolie movie?
Chickster - Thanks for the welcome. It makes me really happy that you feel better about your relationship with your son since quitting drinking.
Good for you both!Sissy and Bebetter - hopefully today is a better day with those cravings. This morning started well and then by 10am I wanted to grab a tasty ****, put my boots on a pick-up dog poop in the yard. Ach! I'm back to square one will learning how to manage my won feeling when it is a frenzied tornado all around. Feeling the pain.
Ok Ladies, I think that is enough for the moment. I think i wrote somewhere already that I am putting boots on and heading in the open air. Best remedy for everything for me. Staying inside the house feels like a punishment for me. I grew up spending 95% of my time outside...wife/mom takes a lot of adjustment and compromise. One day at a time.
Thanks for letting me verbally let loose here. It feels a little crazy but I appreciate it.
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