Applekat

I'm sorry for all the crud you're going through overwhelmed. But you know now at 5 weeks sober that Valium and wine aren't going to fix anything, not nearly as much as a good nights sleep, reflection and perseverance will. Drinking never makes a crap situation any better. I keep reminding myself, I can only control how I act. Especially in regards to your boss. That stinks but you can't control that.

I am thinking of you! Keep checking in!

overwhelmd

I know in my heart it's the worst thing I can do, but the conditioned response is to get loaded - that's how I always dealt with stress of any kind. It is so difficult to think that I am doing so great for so long then BOOM. My mind is right back where I started. The frustration is overwhelming.

Applekat

I think you're doing fairly well with a different conditioned response - logging into SR first!!

areyoukittenme

The only thing that can put you right back where you started is getting drunk and taking the pills. Any other response leaves you further down the road from where you started. Man, do I understand the feeling of frustration, though.

Is there someone you can talk to and unload some of those feelings? If there's ever a time to ask for help this is it.

Upward2Enlightenment

Sounds like you need a punching bag, not your boss, to beat on for a bit overwhelmd.

Adnamaeel

Overwhelmed, I'm sorry things are so hard now. My only advice is to try to let go of the things you have no control over.
Try to remember that your boss being an ass is about him, and not about you, even though he took it out on you. It shows that he feels small and ineffectual on the inside, and has so little self control that he let these overflow on to you. Regardless, it's on him, and it sucks that you have to deal with it.
As for your son and school, unless you plan to do his work for him, and drag him from class to class, there's not much you can do there. His life is his own to mess up, or not mess up, and all you can really do is love him either way, and advise him if he asks for it. I know it's hard, I'm a mom, too, but our kids have to make their own mistakes.
For what it's worth, I totally blew it with college the first time, but eventually went back and graduated with honors. Even if your son blows it completely, as I did, there's still hope for him.
I have no advice about your husband's job situation or your son coming home from prison, but getting wasted won't make any difference in either circumstance. It will make you feel bad about yourself in a way that will benefit no one, though.

obosob

Morning all. Day 18. Woooohooo!!! Fingers too fat to keep typing. Good to see all the posts..... Good luck!

Dee74

Drinking and drugging are not going to make any of those situations better tho overwhelmd.
Use us here at SR as much as you need to.

What other ways do you have to relax and de-stress?

D

Upward2Enlightenment

Congrats obosob. I know what you mean about fat fingers.

Dee74

congrats stormi and up

Soliloquy

OVERWHELMED alcohol mixed with meds can be really dangerous, Im sure you know that. My mom had been doing it for years, not for the extra buzz but just because she was taking ibuprofen and other Rx, including diazepam, and decided to drink despite the warning labels. It seemed harmless to her. She is currently in the hospital because of it, and will never be the same. There is no undoing the damage. She's got all kinds of tubes in her and can barely even talk. My dad is in disbelief how this all happened "all of a sudden" because she seemed perfectly fine until she started going down hill fast.

Please Be careful!!! Please do not mix meds and alcohol! It will kill your liver.

areyoukittenme

Just to add to Adna's comment, my GPA freshman year was 0.something and I lost all my scholarships. Preferring videogames to class will get you that. All it took was a "come to Jesus" talk with the Dean and my parents and by the time I graduated I'd turned it around. I don't think there's anything special about me, just needed a second chance.

There's always hope, overwhelmd.

Upward2Enlightenment

I am still praying for you, your mom and dad Sol

Soliloquy

We're leaving Monday to go visit mom in the hospital. It's going to be very stressful and depressing. Yesterday was my 3 week mark, which means that a month will be up while I'm there. I didn't plan on "forever", or "day by day", I planned on one month and then going from there. I figured that would be a good idea. Well I was looking at the calendar thinking "at least if it gets to be really stressful I'll be able to have a couple glasses of wine because the month will be up." Kinda makes me want to throw in the towel now. Not drink now, but not bother telling myself that I might go beyond the original goal.
I have had a lot of anxiety lately, but I have been under actual REAL stress. I still believe that not drinking at all has at least made me handle it better than I would have otherwise. I think I'm less paranoid anyway. It was thundering earlier and I didn't freak out like I normally do, obsessively checking the weather radar. I even left the windows open. I feel like I'm more confident. It would probably be the best decision for me to give up drinking completely , but I have to be honest here...

Upward2Enlightenment

Just please remember that the drink will not make things better. It will make you feel worse later.

Applekat

Sol - I also did the "one month" plan in my head.
Let's get past that together!

Dee74

I hope you decide to keep it going Sol.
I'm adamant you won't find anything different or new going back there....

D

izzy8

So sorry its so hard, overwhelmed- take care of yourself, ok?

Dee74

Time for a new thread:

we continue here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-7-a.html