charleesavedme

Nomis, great job on the 5k and hope the 10k is successful if you run it.

ForMeForThem

Charlee - great that you and your husband are talking and there's some peace. I'm sure it must be very difficult - I'm proud of you for not drinking. Take good care of yourself and your inner peace as you try to balance what's best for the kids. Enjoy your time with your friends too!

Nomis - Great job on the 5K. I can't even imagine a 10k. Enjoy if that's what you decide to do.

As for me - we were going to go camping for the long weekend but that fell through because my husband is working on a huge house project. It's a blessing and a curse with him. He is very handy and does beautiful work on our house, however once he starts a project it becomes a mission to get it done and he can't enjoy anything else. Then he complains that he's tired, sore and all he gets to do is work on the project even though it's his choice and he doesn't let anyone help. This time it's an addition of a 3 season room, so this is taking up all of his time after work and the weekends. So no trip away and I'm left to find things to do with the kids. After 20 years of marriage, I know how he is so I don't complain or nag him to be any different. It does get a little frustrating sometimes though, so thanks for letting me vent. Anway, my plans with the kids so far are...a bonfire at my sisters house, the drive-ins, kids having friends over, we may go visit my in-laws who just arrived after being away for the entire winter (this is HIS mother by the way and he doesn't plan to go!) and maybe some shopping for summer clothes, my boys are growing like weeds (my grocery bills are big time proof of this). Hope you all enjoy your weekend.

charleesavedme

Please vent away, FMFT...I can understand how you feel. You are lucky your husband can do all that work, but I can see what you're saying about the price. I hope your weekend is going well even though it sounds like you will be busy.

I had a great, sober, dinner last night with my friend. We were able to sit outside and we talked for hours. Then we got frozen yogurt and kept talking. It was great to be present and not think about wine. It's something I remain so grateful for.

Yesterday I also made a bunch of tea/herbal and juice infusions to mix with club soda or seltzer to make refreshing drinks. My favorite so far is one with no sugar added cherry juice infused with cardamon pods, orange zest and a vanilla bean. I also made one with chamomile tea infused with sage, lemon thyme, basil and cardamon. A different taste but refreshing.

This morning I took Charlee for a hike and swim. We are sharing photos on the SR weekenders thread, but am sharing it here too because I know you will indulge me on my dog co-dependence.

I hope everyone is doing well, maybe even those who may be reading this thread but not posting anymore. I was one of those for a long time and hope maybe we'll hear from some more novies someday.

In any event, keep up the good fight and my best to everyone.

nomis

Looks beautiful!

veryready

Great posts everyone. Thanks
Nomis congratulations on your running. You guys know how I feel about that. I don't know what I would do without it.
FMFT your husband sounds like me. I can't handle unfinished projects. We did an addition a few years ago and we didn't do anything for 2 years until everything was straight again.
Charlee thanks for the posts. I still have my moments, so it's great to have you back here and sharing. Helps me a lot. I stared at a 6 pack of beer in the garage today that was left over from a party we had. Thought too long about what it would be like. The conversation in my head did end with the acceptance that it would not be just one, no way, no how. I have changed a lot in the last year and a half, but not that part of my brain.

I did a bike race in Durango Colorado this weekend. I shared this on the KA thread, but in short, after the race, the 2 guys I was with had 1 beer between them, and then they each had a margarita at dinner. They had a full cooler of beer with them, but that was all they drank that night. I'm sure I spent more time thinking about their drinking than they did. The fact that I gave it so much thought says something doesn't it. All I was thinking is, 'why aren't you guys drinking more?' They obviously are not alcoholics. I wasn't wishing I could drink. I was fine, but I was looking forward to seeing them get drunk for some reason. Nope. They didn't need to or want to. Good for them.

ForMeForThem

veryready - I had a similar experience with other people drinking this weekend. At my sister's bonfire, there were two couples who had brought some beer and wine. I was fascinated by how slow they drank, how long it took them before they even had their first drink and how they didn't even finish what they brought. I had no desire to have any but same as you, I think I spent way more time thinking about their drinking than they did. On the drive home I thought "there's the difference. I would never be happy sitting by the fire, slowly sipping just one drink (even if I could), I would always want more or it would be no fun forcing myself not to have more." It's strange to me that people can do that. They aren't alcoholics, I am, always will be. I'm starting to be ok with that. Oh and congrats on the race. You are amazing.

Nomis - did you do the 10K? I was thinking about you and wondering.

Charlee - the picture is awesome. What a beautiful place for a hike - lucky Charlee! I'm glad you enjoyed your time with your friend, I bet you needed that with all you are dealing with. Hope things are going ok with your situation. I'm thinking of you. oh and those juice/tea infusions sound delicious.

As for me - the weekend turned out nice. The kids had sleepovers, so we had a lot of kids coming and going this weekend. Had a good time. I was grateful my husband did try to balance some family time with his project. We had a family fire one night and made s'mores, he went in the pool with the kids and barbecued. I did have a twinge (is that a word?) this weekend. My husbands not a big drinker, we hardly ever have alcohol in the house. This weekend he had some Summer Ale, he only drank 2 out of the 6 pack for the whole weekend. One night, his opened beer was on the counter and an urge hit me suddenly, I wanted to take a sip of it. AV was really working it with the one sip won't hurt talk. I slowed myself down, thought it through and it passed.

Have a great week everyone!

charleesavedme

Hi everyone...hope the week is going well.

Congratulations on 7 months FMFT! Sounds like the weekend turned out well for you and I'm happy for you. Thanks for you kind words!

VeryReady, thank you for your kind words too and congratulations on your big race. I too was interested in your observations about watching others drink. At dinner with my friend on Saturday, she didn't drink, but I found myself looking around at the tables observing other people drinking. When I had dinner with my other friend on Monday night, she did order a glass of wine and I found myself starring at it sometimes. I was glad she only had one glass.

I'm having a pretty good week. My son ends 5th grade this week and his school goes a bit overboard on the activities for "graduating" 5th graders. I feel very uncomfortable hanging out with the other parents from his school; it's partly my shyness and just feeling awkward. Something I drank to avoid. Yesterday, I took off work to attend the talent show, but I ended up having to much time on my hands afterwards and the day got really long for me. Combine that with the stressful feelings I have about the graduation ceremony today, then a party tomorrow night where I'm going to have to socialize and the whole thing going on with my husband and I had some pretty serious cravings. Thought them through, didn't act. Called my mom and then my sister and went to bed at 9. I'll be glad when this week and all these activities are behind me. But, I am also grateful every time I get through stressful situations without drinking. I know I can do this and I just have to work through my feelings.

Take care, everyone.

ForMeForThem

Thanks Charlee - I can so relate to the feelings you have about all those events. I get anxious and uncomfortable too. Slowing my thoughts down and taking deep breaths helps me to keep my peace when there is so much going on around me. Yesterday must have been hard, I know that feeling...I'm so proud of you for recognizing what was happening, facing the emotions and getting through without escaping into a drink. Hang in there the next few days. You are doing so well!

charleesavedme

Thanks FMFT. It makes me feel better to know you feel that way too. The graduation was very nice and then we were invited to go out for pizza with a bunch of school friends and their families. We sat outside on a big patio. Whew, made it out of there but it was hard. So many people drinking - beer, wine, margaritas. It would have been so easy to order a drink, especially because I felt very awkward and it took me a while to strike up a good conversation with anyone so I sat there wanting to climb under the table. But I stuck with club soda and lime. We were two of the first to leave. Tomorrow night there is another school party but I can only hope that since it's at a kids play place (where they have those giant inflatable slides and things) that there won't be any alcohol. I'm happy to pass these tests and each time I feel a bit stronger, but I think I've had enough for now. I'd like to stay in my comfort zone for a while.

nomis

Hey guys,

Proud of everyone for doing so well here.

VR, it is hard to wrap my head around the fact some people aren't obsessed with booze. I tend to think people either don't drink or are alcoholics, when of course that isn't even close to being reality, it's just my reality.

Charlee, you're doing great. I think alot of us drinkers have social phobia, and high anxiety in general. One of the biggest challenges of sobriety is learning how to live with that in a productive and healthy manner.

FMFT, congrats on the seven months! If the biggest problem you have with your husband is that he gets too busy doing reno's on the house, then I would say you're doing not too bad,

I'm ok here, didn't make the 10K, chickened out. Sigh. It's a kind of purgatory I'm living in these days, just waiting for the end of the school year to come, so I can do what I need to do and move on with life. But I know it's going to be heartbreaking, I just have to be strong enough, and that can only happen with me being sober.

Namaste guys!

veryready

Nomis: "I tend to think people either don't drink or are alcoholics." Hahaha. Me to.

Charlee: "I'm happy to pass these tests and each time I feel a bit stronger". So true. You get stronger every time you beat the AV.

FMFT you are a superstar!

Have a good weekend everyone. Lacrosse tourney this weekend and that's it. No school, no sports. Ready to do some camping.

charleesavedme

Hi everyone, made it through the final party. Almost ran screaming when one of the moms said to me "I'm ready for a glass of wine...how about you?" They had wine in cooler outside. I declined and then went and sat by myself and took your advice, FMFT, and did some deep breathing exercises. I also logged in here and posted on the weekenders thread and read through some threads. Then, one of the dads came over and sat with me and we ended up talking for the rest of the party. He was very interesting and we talked about the kids growing up etc. It kept me busy and occupied and that worked out really well. Now I'm back home. I passed a lot of tests this week and I did okay and have no regrets. I truly appreciate all your wisdom and kindness.

Thinking of you all this weekend.

ForMeForThem

Hi all -

Charlee glad you made it through. Feels good to pass those test huh? Hope you enjoyed some down time this weekend.

Yesterday was a challenge for me. I woke up just feeling off. Nothing in particular, just a bad day and a bad attitude. I felt like I used to when I would think it was a good idea to start drinking in the morning and slowly but steadily drink and waste my day away. All the while believing that drinking was somehow helping my anxiety and stress level, helping motivate me to get things done, helping me to be a fun, tolerant wife and mother...what a crock! But that's how yesterday felt and it brought back some of those old memories and emotions. I've been thinking back alot lately to when I was drinking and the things I did. It's hard to process sometimes. Hard to accept and forgive myself. Anyway, pushed through yesterday and I'm very grateful for that. Handling life and emotions and making the right choices did feel good yesterday and I went to bed happy about that. It's a new day and it will be a better one.

charleesavedme

Hi everyone,

I hope your Sunday was good, FMFT. I remember how those days felt. You are doing so great. Processing the past is hard and forgiving ourselves is harder. I am working on that a lot this time too. I try to tell myself, that everyone, alcoholics or not, has things in their past that they wish they could change. Choices that could have been better, Sometimes that helps me to be kinder to myself. You are making the best choices that you can now with the clarity of sobriety and you rock!

My weekend was easy compared to the week I had. I didn't really do anything of significance. Since the boy is out of school, my mornings are not so rushed because my daughter has been getting a ride to school with a neighbor. I really need to start a regular exercise program now that I have more time in the morning.

Hope the week goes well for everyone!

charleesavedme

Hi everyone,
Just popping in to say hello.

I'm driving my son up to my parents in Pennsylvania this weekend. It will be a short trip for me but he'll be with my parents for the rest of the month. I think overall it will be good for him and for my parents. My daughter and I are heading up to NY at the end of June for my niece's high school graduation and we'll all meet up there. I'm still on the fence about how much time I'll stay with my sister after the graduation. She wants me to stay the next week and then we'd all go back to my parent's house for the July 4 holiday, but I'm not sure yet. I love my family but it can be stressful when we're all together and my parents now live in a very small house, perfect for retirement but not so good for large family gatherings. I'm just going to come home if I think that's better for me and my sobriety.

Well, off to get ready for work. Take care everyone.

ForMeForThem

Hi everyone.

Charlee - Have safe travels. You'll be in my area. I live in NY (upstate though). Wise to leave yourself room to decide when, where and how long you'll stay. Protecting our sober self is so important. I too often would do what others wanted or expected of me instead of making the choices that I knew were the best for me and staying sober. I'm really trying to balance that now when I can. Good for you for recognizing it going in.

Well, this week I've continued to struggle a bit. I've thought of drinking more times this week and for longer periods than I'm comfortable with. I can sense little plans being made in my head, there's alot of chatter going on. I just re-read that and I sound like a crazy person. But I do, I think my AV is really being sneaky and using the fact that I'm feeling overwhelmed and trying to plant seeds. I felt so good at 6 months, any real thoughts of drinking were fleeting and I was happy to be a sober person for good. Now at 7 months, during this past week, anytime something stressful happens my thoughts go to drinking and it's a struggle to get myself back on track. Too much stress and feeling overwhelmed are my biggest triggers. With the end of the school year and a big project at work, there is soooo much going on. I'm being pulled in many directions and too much on my mind. I'm just worn down - so this weekend I'm going to take some time to relax, re-group and handle these feelings the right way. By the first week of July, I'll be done with my project at work and school will be over. Then we have a vacation planned too. I'm in the homestretch, I just need to get through June and keep my eye on the prize. I'll get through it and be stronger for it. But I would like to get through it a little bit more peacefully than I feel right now - need to work on that. Thanks for listening.

Dee74

Have good and safe trip Charleesavedme

FMFT - thoughts are thoughts...it's what we do in response to those thoughts that counts...it sounds to me like you have a strong recovery...but do remember we're here to help on those rough trudging days

D

ForMeForThem

Thanks Dee. I'm going to keep repeating this to myself.

charleesavedme

That doesn’t sound crazy to me at all FMFT…there is a lot of chatter going on in my head most of the time. It doesn't always have to do with alcohol, luckily.

But, I’m sorry for the stress in your life that is bringing on these feelings. I know that end of school is tough. Add in your work project and I can completely understand how overwhelming it could be. It’s so easy to feel like we have to be everything to everyone. I hope you do find some time for yourself this weekend to clear your head and that the rest of the month goes quickly. I also hope you are going somewhere fun on vacation. I’m thinking of you.

(My sister actually lives just north of Saratoga Springs. My niece is finally taking her driver’s license test today so I have my fingers crossed for her. )

ForMeForThem

Small world. I live about 45 minutes south of Saratoga Springs! Too bad you weren't going a few weeks later, you'd be there during track season!