Class of May 2014
My last alcoholic drink was Sunday, making this the third night. I feel really uncomfortable, tense and anxious but I know what that is about and I'm not remotely tempted to drink to 'fix' that, which it would, temporarily. So instead I will post here before going to bed and reading for what will probably be a couple of hours..or more.
One way of looking at the build up to addiction to alcohol it seems to me is that mild withdrawal symptoms are what sets it up in the first place. Arguably habitual drinking is all about relieving the beginnings of withdrawal. The added hook is the pleasure over and above the relief. I suspect many regular and borderline problem drinkings are constantly trying to manage that balancing act. Many of us, including me, let it all get out of hand.
Personally I have been a life long drinker. I've had a few breaks - a year here, six months there, but I have never managed to be 'over and done' with it. It seems some part of me has liked it that bit too much to let it go.
Of late though my drinking has created such high levels of anxiety in me during the day (I have always done my drinking in the evenings) that I just want to be shot of the whole damn mess. The period leading up to Sunday was truly horrendous - my 'nerves' screaming all day just waiting for the relief of the wine to come in the evening. That is no way to live.
Anyway I feel determined. I feel 'beat' too. I hope it is the sort of 'beat' that means I don't have the strength to get up and have another go at managing booze, because I can't manage it. It will beat me every time. I didn't used to know what that really meant but I think I do now.
I can only walk away from it with a determination to never drink again, even if 'my ass is on fire'.
Apologies for the length of the post and thanks for your patience.
One way of looking at the build up to addiction to alcohol it seems to me is that mild withdrawal symptoms are what sets it up in the first place. Arguably habitual drinking is all about relieving the beginnings of withdrawal. The added hook is the pleasure over and above the relief. I suspect many regular and borderline problem drinkings are constantly trying to manage that balancing act. Many of us, including me, let it all get out of hand.
Personally I have been a life long drinker. I've had a few breaks - a year here, six months there, but I have never managed to be 'over and done' with it. It seems some part of me has liked it that bit too much to let it go.
Of late though my drinking has created such high levels of anxiety in me during the day (I have always done my drinking in the evenings) that I just want to be shot of the whole damn mess. The period leading up to Sunday was truly horrendous - my 'nerves' screaming all day just waiting for the relief of the wine to come in the evening. That is no way to live.
Anyway I feel determined. I feel 'beat' too. I hope it is the sort of 'beat' that means I don't have the strength to get up and have another go at managing booze, because I can't manage it. It will beat me every time. I didn't used to know what that really meant but I think I do now.
I can only walk away from it with a determination to never drink again, even if 'my ass is on fire'.
Apologies for the length of the post and thanks for your patience.
You have just written my life down Mentium!
I am also at the end of day three after some repeated previous attempts. Having fun with being unable to finish my sentences as I can't find the word I need. That's my main symptom just now. Grateful to be in my bed, sober, at the end of a busy day. X
I am also at the end of day three after some repeated previous attempts. Having fun with being unable to finish my sentences as I can't find the word I need. That's my main symptom just now. Grateful to be in my bed, sober, at the end of a busy day. X
Great post mention, similar to my own situation. Welcome aboard, day 6 here and it's getting easier every day. Well easier and then harder and then brilliant and then terrible. Lots of mood swings going over here! Overall the trend is upwards though!
Heading for day 5 tomorrow... at 102hrs...little bit of a rough day today but just anxiety and fuzzy head. Overall ok... today was the first day I am feeling like wanting a drink... I will not give in! God has bigger plans for me than a drink. Going to try and settle my nerves a go to bed.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 5
I'd like to join May! I am starting day 3 and have a doctor's appointment just to let him know what's going on. Today was a lot better than yesterday. Not shaky at all and just some anxiety.
I'm a little anxious about waiting at the doctor's tomorrow. I've had history of panic attacks (haven't had one in a year) and a little anxiety always thinking about the worst. SR is such an amazing resource!
Thank you
I'm a little anxious about waiting at the doctor's tomorrow. I've had history of panic attacks (haven't had one in a year) and a little anxiety always thinking about the worst. SR is such an amazing resource!
Thank you
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Frozen Tundra
Posts: 70
Checking in as day three comes to end, bed early again (hope to avoid the toss and turn cycle tonight).
Starting to feel the stresses that alcohol temporarily toned down. Things like a messy house and such (but what do you do with a house with 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 2 fish?) Trying to shrug the little things off....
Very good post Mentium and welcome to the group MetalMatt, christimc, and duster.
Oh, and I don't really blame the fish for any of the mess.
Starting to feel the stresses that alcohol temporarily toned down. Things like a messy house and such (but what do you do with a house with 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 2 fish?) Trying to shrug the little things off....
Very good post Mentium and welcome to the group MetalMatt, christimc, and duster.
Oh, and I don't really blame the fish for any of the mess.
Well heck I don't have a family, so I'll join yours if it's alright. Not much of a drinker, but on day 5 of a oxy habit. Came back from Afgan two years ago, and got to spend a lot of time at Walter Reed. Once the surgeries were over I knew I was in trouble. So been on the pills for over two years and this is my first time kicking them, and kick the **** out of them I will! Glad to be a part of a family for once.
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